Has anyone you know ever questioned why someone hasn't received Holy Communion?

[blanc10]

I was at a different church this past Sunday and I got a very snobby remark from this guy behind us. We got up to let a guy out of the pew and the guy behind us said “yeah, that’ll teach ya”. Very ignorant remark. Even though the person staying in the pew could have been disrespectful by going into mortal sin, he/she is doing the responsible thing at that moment and should be respected for that. Heck, the person may be learning about Catholicism or already in RCIA.

I’m in RCIA, I don’t need crummy remarks like that.

 

[Incomplete]

I was at a different church this past Sunday and I got a very snobby remark from this guy behind us. We got up to let a guy out of the pew and the guy behind us said “yeah, that’ll teach ya”. Very ignorant remark. Even though the person staying in the pew could have been disrespectful by going into mortal sin, he/she is doing the responsible thing at that moment and should be respected for that. Heck, the person may be learning about Catholicism or already in RCIA.

I’m in RCIA, I don’t need crummy remarks like that.

No, you don’t, and I’m so sorry to read about this.

My priest once spoke about attitude, and how sometimes we don’t always leave it at home. He was talking about things like if we have anger with others that we haven’t let go of, when it comes time to Eucharist, maybe we shouldn’t go to receive. Maybe we should first go and resolve the issue.

I have a friend who really listened to that homily. He was dealing with anger issues at the time, and after that did at times decide not to receive. Because he is a friend, I am aware of this (otherwise I wouldn’t have paid attention.) I had a lot of respect both for the priest for giving a homily about it, and for my friend, who took it to heart.

I would like to think that others at my parish don’t even notice when he doesn’t go, or notice when anybody else doesn’t. It disturbs me that people would make such comments as you posted, and that people do pay attention to who receives and who doesn’t.

Oh, and…welcome home!

 

[Publisher]

It’s not just Catholic communities that cast odd or disapproving glances when one does not participate in receiving communion.

As a Friend, unless I am invited to receive by the pastor…even at a different community of faith…I do not…I went to an Evangelical worship service and when the elders came by to distribute the elements he held out the plate with the bread and said “The Body of Christ”…I smiled and said “No thank you.”…same with the elder distributing the “cup”…I was…“jumped” in the foyer by one of the elders asking if I was a Christian…I said “Yes I am, but I do not typically participate in communion services unless I ahve cleared it with the pastor.” He asked “Why not?” I explained that most Christian communities that celebreate the Lord’s Supper offer the emblems to those who have been 'baptized in water"…as a Friend, I have never undergone ritual water baptism so in good conscience I abstain…it’s not just Catholics that tend to be rude or “cold” toward those who for reasons of their own decline to participate in the ritual meal.

It always strikes me odd that disparaging comments and “looks” are directed at those whom obviously have reasons of their own why they obstain from participation in some of the ritula observances of those who claim to follow Christ…in my humble opinion…it is very uncharitable…Paul’s words come to mind…“and have not love, it profits nothing.”

 

[Marie5890]

“It’s none of our business, please pass the salt.”

 

[couponfit]

I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.

It’s best to only worry about your own sins. I won’t go to receive the eucharist for a number of reasons, even a relatively minor sin like say swearing or not defending my faith at times until I confess. Each person’s cup is their to make and the Lord fills it with Grace to the brim!

 

[Sarabande]

I don’t know about other schools during the late 50’s but ours did. And almost everyone walked to Church and school too. I presume a lot of other Catholic schools did the same. The nuns also collected the envelopes, as a way to check on attendance.

Not much religious freedom in those days.

I would imagine depending on where you lived, most people would walk to church as well and the closer the community, the easier it was to keep track of things like that.

I attended Catholic gradeschool in the 80s and 90s and they did try to track church attendance using envelopes as well, but it died out by the time I was about in 4th grade.

 

[puzzleannie]

I had a sixth grade nun who used to line up everyone who hadn’t received Sunday outside the hall on Monday morning. (The class used to sit together at Mass.) She asked each to explain why they didn’t go. We found that just saying, “I didn’t go to confession” good enough reason. She didn’t pursue it further.

she was out of line
we are not even allowed to take attendance at Mass for candidates for sacraments, as it violates their privacy.

 

[puzzleannie]

I was at a different church this past Sunday and I got a very snobby remark from this guy behind us. We got up to let a guy out of the pew and the guy behind us said “yeah, that’ll teach ya”. Very ignorant remark. .

it is hard, but it gives us a chance to work on our Christian charity, which usually needs exercise. Maybe his sugar was low or he did not take his meds and just spoke w/o thinking. I do think your story points out why we “do” RCIA rites in church, so that the rest of the parish understands what is up with RCIA, why some people are dismissed at times, why they don’t receive communion, why we are doing certain rites etc. Sounds like this guy needs some headwork.

 

[ProVobis]

I was at a different church this past Sunday and I got a very snobby remark from this guy behind us. We got up to let a guy out of the pew and the guy behind us said “yeah, that’ll teach ya”.

I think part of the problem, too, is poor pew architecture. One should be able to get around someone who is sitting in a pew easily. Forcing everyone to get out if someone has to leave in an emergency, for example, will cause some problems down the line.

 

[ProVobis]

I would imagine depending on where you lived, most people would walk to church as well and the closer the community, the easier it was to keep track of things like that.

I attended Catholic gradeschool in the 80s and 90s and they did try to track church attendance using envelopes as well, but it died out by the time I was about in 4th grade.

In the same grade school I attended there are now about 20 kids in the 8th grade class (in ours in was exactly 100 split into 2 classes) and this after a consolidation of several parish schools. All lay teachers now. And most of the kids are dropped off/picked up by their parents. Since there are fewer (two in English, two in Spanish) Masses too, I would imagine the kids go to Mass with their parents (if at all). I don’t know about their receive/attend ratio but Spanish Masses I hear have a lower ratio.

 

[Sarabande]

In the same grade school I attended there are now about 20 kids in the 8th grade class (in ours in was exactly 100 split into 2 classes) and this after a consolidation of several parish schools. All lay teachers now. And most of the kids are dropped off/picked up by their parents. Since there are fewer (two in English, two in Spanish) Masses too, I would imagine the kids go to Mass with their parents (if at all). I don’t know about their receive/attend ratio but Spanish Masses I hear have a lower ratio.

That is very sad. My diocese is currently going through another round of school closures due to lack of attendance. Where my father attended grade school in the 50s and early 60s, the numbers were similar. They had 80 kids per classroom. I’m not sure how many they had in each grade, though. Sisters of St. Joseph nuns there. That school closed down a few years ago. The parish, though, is still open and they do four masses a weekend. When he graduated high school from an all-boys school, he was in a class of over 800 students. That high school was just announced as being one on the chopping block by the end of the school year. I think many of the teachers were Augustinian fathers. But I imagine today they are mostly lay teachers.

Anyway… back on topic.

 

[turtle18]

You could have said something like what a wonderful example he set as a Catholic by trying to faithfully obey the rules and then politely ask the other people when the last time was they went to Confession, reminding them they are obligated to go once a year.

And how about that Bible story where the man stands at the back of Church, won’t even look up to God and says “have mercy on me oh Lord, I am sinner,” while all the hypocrites prayed, “thank God, I am not like him.”

 

[maplebug55]

I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.

I have kind of wondered the opposite. Wondering why there are so few at confession at 4 pm, and then EVERYONE goes to communion at 5 PM mass.
Not for me to judge, but can’t help but wonder about the imbalance.

 

[maplebug55]

one of my other friends was trying to wave her forward and “make” her receive Holy Communion

I find the action of that person quite troubling.

 

[maplebug55]

I once had a very nice old lady come up to me after a daily Mass and, very kindly, point to the Act of Contrition printed on the back of the Missalette and say, “All you have to do is say this, and then you can receive Communion.”

Wow, and I thought** I **did not have a life!

 

[ByzCathCantor]

This is an age old favorite. In generations past, when people did not receive when they were unworthy or unprepared to do so out of respect and reverence, some would speculate as to the reasons why, normally assuming something most scandalous. Now, given what IMO is an unfortunately casual attitude regarding the Holy Eucharist (especially among the types who would ask such questions), many believe it is OK to receive all the time, with no examination of conscience, and with no real fear of consequence if one is not properly disposed. So, these people now think that the most aggregious of offenses must have been committed if one is not receiving Communion.

After relocating a few years ago, I joined a new church. My wife is still Methodist (I pray she decides to convert some day, and sure she will). She is also truly one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life - decent, kind and God loving. Yet, it was only after the first few weeks at our new parish, when people got to know me, that they popped the obvious and awaited question - “Why doesn’t your wife receive Communion?”.

I’ve developed a response over the years of our marriage, which normally draws a stunned reaction:

“My wife is a loving, God fearing person. Because the Catholic Church rejected her father and mother [true story - details excluded for brevity’s sake], she was raised a Methodist. Yet we agreed in marriage that we would raise our children in the Catholic faith. She understands and observes our traditions better than many people I know. Although she would not admit it, I know that deep down she still feels as if she is not worthy to participate in the fullness of our Church. Please help me convince her otherwise as you get to know her better.”

No one has yet to step up to that challenge …

 

[ByzCathCantor]

I once had a very nice old lady come up to me after a daily Mass and, very kindly, point to the Act of Contrition printed on the back of the Missalette and say, “All you have to do is say this, and then you can receive Communion.”

I just smiled and said “Thank you,” then spent the rest of the day contemplating all the ways that was sooo wrong.

Wow! Absolution without examination of conscience or Confession - it’d good to be Catholic these days, eh?

 

[Elizium23]

she was out of line
we are not even allowed to take attendance at Mass for candidates for sacraments, as it violates their privacy.

My parish is rather strict about attendance. The children all have punch-cards which the sisters punch after Mass is dismissed, and I assume this is for those in sacramental preparation and/or religious ed. classes. Also, for sacramental preparation, parishioners must prove that they are active by using envelopes for six months prior to application.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

she was out of line
we are not even allowed to take attendance at Mass for candidates for sacraments, as it violates their privacy.

I do not know how privacy concerns play into this.

No one has a right to the sacraments if they do not meet the requirements for them.

If they care so much about their privacy then maybe they should not be attending a public church service.

 

[AF_Fugue]

Wow! Absolution without examination of conscience or Confession - it’d good to be Catholic these days, eh?

Indeed! I’m guessing she had heard about the “Perfect Act of Contrition,” but didn’t really understand what it was or the attending requirements. Like I said, though, she was very sweet.