Has converting to Catholicism shrunk your dating pool?

[CaliLobo]

I post mostly about social justice and dating, but today I have a lighter question.

Have any of you found that converting to Catholicism has shrunk your dating pool? Have members of the other sex rejected you for your beliefs? How did you overcome that?

I admit, this is one fear I have if I convert. (The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.) Someone wanna convince me this is silly?

 

[Xantippe]

There are 1.2 or so billion Catholics on earth. A number of them are single and eager to start a family.

You’ll do fine.

 

[CaliLobo]

You’re counting the fallen away and the ones who don’t even go to church or practice the faith.

But where do they tend to be? I seem to meet mostly agnostics and Protestants.

 

[Kurisu35712]

I’ve met very few people that are so bigoted against Catholicism, they would never date a Catholic. I’d say it’s almost more likely for a Catholic to prefer to date other Catholics than someone preferring not to. My exposure may be limited though.

One of my non-denominational friends actually started dating a Catholic here and she started going to mass with him. Likewise, my girlfriend was “culturally Catholic” because of her family. It wasn’t until she started dating me that she started being involved with the Church. Not to mention, Catholics are the largest percentage of the world’s Christians, and I doubt that a lapsed Catholic would decide not to date you because you’re Catholic. That wouldn’t make any sense

Don’t worry Cali. If someone really likes you, Catholicism won’t be a dealbreaker.

 

[Kurisu35712]

As far as where they’re located? Anywhere with a predominantly French, Hispanic, German, or Irish historical background. New Orleans is mostly Catholic. Texas has a lot of Catholics. If you mean where do they hang out, I’m sure whichever parish church is nearest you has social events if you want to meet other Catholics.

Usually “I’m Catholic,” is one of the first things I say when I introduce myself. Maybe people just ask more in Texas? I have a rosary ring on my right hand though, so people have asked about that before. I am in a college town with a considerable Catholic population though, so I meet a lot.

Catholics are everywhere though. And I’m not even being particularly hyperbolic, there are a lot of Catholics in the world in general.

 

[underacloud]

Another way to look at it is that narrowing your dating pool can be a positive thing.

If many Catholic women prefer to date Catholic men, being a Catholic man is an immediate advantage over non-Catholic men, with regard to these women.

Think of the way any online dating site constructs alrogithms to enhance the likely compatibilty of matches. Being of one particular religion (any religion really) may be a clear advantage in eliminating unsuitable dates and narrowing in on potential matches.

Or think of a meet-and-greet scanario, where there are say 100 men and 100 women. At the start, you are competing with 99 other men, and you have to work through 100 women to try to find a good match or two. But say you know up front that only 10 of those women are Catholic, and you are one of only 10 Catholic men (and assuming for the sake of argument that Catholics prefer to date Catholics). Suddenly the task is so much easier, or at least narrowed.

 

[awke]

I’m a cradle Catholic. But I can safely say, yes, being a practicing Catholic shrunk my dating pool.

But in a good way.

There are a lot of single people out there. While it may seem like anybody who is good looking and nice would be a good person to date, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are good marriage material. Sharing similar values and outlook on life is crucial to making a relationship last. (And I don’t mean just for Catholics, but everybody).

So by being a practicing Catholic, my dating pool was far smaller, but consisted of a lot of women that shared my values and outlook on life. It would have been far more difficult to find the right one if I didn’t have my dating pool whittled down.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I came into the Church in my 20’s and thought it was great! Right off the bat if they were atheists or lets say Jehovah Witness, I could cross them off my list and move on. Saved a lot of time. lol To be fair, I’m sure they didn’t want to date me either!! lol

One fellow that I thought was interesting, who I knew from school that he had gone to church as a kid, told me that he was glad abortion was legal. Glad to know that up front.

One Catholic mum that I spoke to that had an unmarried daughter told me that her daughter should ‘make’ the boyfriend go to church with her. I disagreed. I want to know up front that the guy has zero interest in attending church. Valuable information.

Come into the Church, grow in your faith, and become the most amazing version of yourself! Pray for your future wife, that she make good decisions and 10 years from now, I bet you’ll have an amazing story of what God has done in your life. Be not afraid!

 

[ClearWater]

I post mostly about social justice and dating, but today I have a lighter question.

Have any of you found that converting to Catholicism has shrunk your dating pool? Have members of the other sex rejected you for your beliefs? How did you overcome that?

I admit, this is one fear I have if I convert. (The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.) Someone wanna convince me this is silly?

Yes. It has affected me.

Well, I was once married, although not in a valid marriage. I had fallen away from my faith for many years, and during that time met a man, married, but not in the Church, just with a Justice of the Peace.

Then, I found my faith, again, and that caused problems in my relationship. Ultimately, we divorced over it. He was an agnostic, didn’t believe in God. In the end, we had less and less in common. We divorced, and I got that “marriage” annuled.

Although now, I live in Mexico, which is predominantly Catholic, though admittedly, nominally Catholic. So now, it isn’t as problematic here. It’s difficult, because here, we may not practice what we preach, don’t follow the faith, but are Catholic in name only.

In my opinion, it IS difficult finding other Catholics, particularly in the US. Secondly, even if you find some, it’s even harder to find practicing Catholics, and I would expect this trend, of having difficulty finding good, practicing Catholics to get progressively more difficult with time.

I have also talked with numerous others, men especially, who tell me, over and over again, how hard it has been to find Catholics, number one…and practicing Catholics, two, and thirdly, compatible practicing Catholics.

I don’t say this to be a pessimist, just as a realist. It IS hard. Good practicing Catholics, be they men or women, are clearly in the minority by a long shot.

However, one only needs one compatible partner, so as difficult as this process is, I’d encourage someone wanting to marry a good Catholic to persist. I agree that it can be like looking for a “needle in a haystack”. If you find that special one, even a tremendous search like that will all be worth it.

 

[Larry1700]

“Has converting to Catholicism shrunk your dating pool?”

Absolutely, positively, unquestionably yes!

I converted from Baptist to Catholic to get married.

 

[runwaymodel]

I was raised Catholic all my life but I will say this: It’s been my experience that people try to convert to Catholicsm when they see how passionate about your faith you are. Many that I have dated have attempted to convert or at least research the Catholic faith. That’s a beautiful thing.

Or think of it this way: In general I have high standards. Does this limit my dating pool? Yes. Could I lower my standards to have access to more people to date? Sure, but how does that benefit me? It doesn’t. I’m not saying there is something wrong with interfaith couples, it just makes marriage a little harder. You need to be selective of your needs from a future spouse.

 

[mdgspencer]

This and the ins and outs of the matter is a very interesting question. God knows the answer. I don’t have any answers to the matter brought up by the opening post.
I had met some very attractive women as far as their personality went over the years who seemed interested, but, sometimes with great regret, didn’t pursue them because they weren’t Catholics. I am a quiet person who doesn’t like to join or would approach women in the first place, which made it difficult for me. Finally, I met someone on the online site now called Catholic match. As I well remember, one big thing I looked for is someone who went to mass every day. I was just about to give up on finding somebody, when I found a woman I made my wife. She still goes to mass everyday and prays much. Did God cause her to become my wife? I think so. So this can be an important factor, even if there don’t seem many people of the opposite sex around who share your faith and values. Be sure and pray to find someone if this is God’s will.

 

[smichhertz]

I post mostly about social justice and dating, but today I have a lighter question.

Have any of you found that converting to Catholicism has shrunk your dating pool? Have members of the other sex rejected you for your beliefs? How did you overcome that?

I admit, this is one fear I have if I convert. (The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.) Someone wanna convince me this is silly?

Hi CaliLobo,

No matter what religious persuasion you are, it does affect people interested in you. If were an atheist more religious girls would not be interested in a romantic relationship with me. Because I am Catholic, less atheist girls would be interested in dating me. It doesn’t get SMALLER per se, but it does shift based on your convictions and interests.

It’s an understandable fear but remember that if you convert to Catholicism many attractive, fun and single Catholics will become interested in dating you.

Hope that helps!

 

[St_Francis]

I didnmt start practicing my Faith til after I married, bit I’d think that the benefits of being Catholic would outweigh any possible negative aspects of the shift in “dating pool.”

But actually, I also think that serious Catholics are really great people: usually less superficial and more inclined to think deeply about things, among other things.

 

[josh987654321]

I post mostly about social justice and dating, but today I have a lighter question.

Have any of you found that converting to Catholicism has shrunk your dating pool? Have members of the other sex rejected you for your beliefs? How did you overcome that?

I admit, this is one fear I have if I convert. (The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.) Someone wanna convince me this is silly?

I believe I’m familiar with some of your previous posts, and after dialoguing with you on other posts I would simply like to quote the following for you when it comes to whether you should or should not convert to catholicism -

On a certain occasion, I understood how very displeased God is with an act, however commendable, that does not bear the stamp of a pure intention. Such deeds incite God to punishment rather than to reward. (Diary, 484)

• St Faustina

(not sure whether your views have changed since now and then, if they have, please disregard this post).

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Xantippe]

I’ve met very few people that are so bigoted against Catholicism, they would never date a Catholic. I’d say it’s almost more likely for a Catholic to prefer to date other Catholics than someone preferring not to. My exposure may be limited though.

One of my non-denominational friends actually started dating a Catholic here and she started going to mass with him. Likewise, my girlfriend was “culturally Catholic” because of her family. It wasn’t until she started dating me that she started being involved with the Church. Not to mention, Catholics are the largest percentage of the world’s Christians, and I doubt that a lapsed Catholic would decide not to date you because you’re Catholic. That wouldn’t make any sense

Don’t worry Cali. If someone really likes you, Catholicism won’t be a dealbreaker.

Yes–RCIA classes are full of engaged couples.

 

[Xantippe]

Another way to look at it is that narrowing your dating pool can be a positive thing.

If many Catholic women prefer to date Catholic men, being a Catholic man is an immediate advantage over non-Catholic men, with regard to these women.

Think of the way any online dating site constructs alrogithms to enhance the likely compatibilty of matches. Being of one particular religion (any religion really) may be a clear advantage in eliminating unsuitable dates and narrowing in on potential matches.

Or think of a meet-and-greet scanario, where there are say 100 men and 100 women. At the start, you are competing with 99 other men, and you have to work through 100 women to try to find a good match or two. But say you know up front that only 10 of those women are Catholic, and you are one of only 10 Catholic men (and assuming for the sake of argument that Catholics prefer to date Catholics). Suddenly the task is so much easier, or at least narrowed.

Yes.

 

[FJBSJ]

You’re counting the fallen away and the ones who don’t even go to church or practice the faith.

But where do they tend to be? I seem to meet mostly agnostics and Protestants.

I would not want to enter a relationship with someone who is not devoted to God and the Catholic Church.

I can’t really say much though because I want to be a Dominican Friar.

 

[Miss_Felicity]

My opinion is an odd one. I never considered not being Catholic as a deal breaker to my dating or being in a relationship with someone and yes I’m a convert. In that sense no my dating pool didn’t shrink but I will say that what I learned from the church has caused me to impose other limits on who I date so perhaps in an indirect way my dating pool shrank but for the better as some others have mentioned.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

I post mostly about social justice and dating, but today I have a lighter question.

Have any of you found that converting to Catholicism has shrunk your dating pool? Have members of the other sex rejected you for your beliefs? How did you overcome that?

I admit, this is one fear I have if I convert. (The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.) Someone wanna convince me this is silly?

I would say that it although it mostly closed the old pool, it opened up a whole new one that may be slightly bigger than the old “pool.” I had kept my dating pool fairly narrow even before becoming a Catholic, as I would only consider dating fellow Christians who were serious about their faith. That is still my criteria, although at this time I would only date a fellow practicing Catholic. I have met and dated several good Catholic men, some of whom I met on a Catholic dating site, and others whom I met “in real life.”

I did experience rejection, if you want to call it that, from a couple of Protestant men who had been interested in me but who changed their minds when they found out that I was planning to become a Catholic. I was okay with that, though, as I respected where they were coming from and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone who shared the same religious beliefs.

(The other being disapproval from my Protestant parents.)

Well, that could happen; I experienced that, and it was much more difficult to deal with than disapproval from potential dates. But that would be a subject for a different thread.