X
Xantippe
Guest
I wrote: “Can you point me to any Red Pill guys who have been married a long time, have kids at home, and seem thrilled by having to do all the initiating? I’ve browsed a lot of Red Pill comment threads, and the wife never initiating is a common sore point. In the context of a long-term relationship, it isn’t nice to always have to be the person who asks.”
SST replied:
–I didn’t mean to point out the large number of unhappily married Red Pill men (although that’s a fair point), but to point out the absence of any Red Pill guys who have been married for a while who have to do all the initiating themselves and like to do so. Having the wife initiate and be obviously interested is actually a major “get” in that environment (and in the larger male population, too, I suspect). For long-married men, being expected to do all initiating tends to be viewed as an unfair burden (and I’ve seen a lot of griping in Red Pill-land about “duty sex” and “starfish”).
–Another thing that comes to mind is that energy levels tend to be rather lower from 40 on, so how one feels about having to do all the initiating is going to be very different at 45 than at 25. You can ask around if you don’t believe me.
–Related: Having to tell another adult what to do all the time is potentially a huge energy suck and drain on overall productivity. It’s not typically a very productive lifestyle (see, for example, Afghanistan or Yemen or Saudi Arabia), and it can be confining and limiting. As Frederick Douglass famously said, “No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.” Or fellow woman, for that matter. This is presumably the reason that Red Pill married men so often discourage their single brethren from getting married–the style of marriage they advocate is also burden to the man.
–I’m going to go out on a limb and say that in a typical happy marriage, each spouse makes sexual overtures at different times.
–“Using your logic I could reasonably conclude that feminism is bad for women since so many of them have or had problems with men.” Here’s a dissimilarity. Many women (who you would describe as feminists) claim to have happy egalitarian marriages.
Edited to add: The Red Pill marriage model is very, very hard on men. It’s just not realistic to expect to be able to be “on” all the time, especially not as one ages.
SST replied:
Some thoughts:
–I didn’t mean to point out the large number of unhappily married Red Pill men (although that’s a fair point), but to point out the absence of any Red Pill guys who have been married for a while who have to do all the initiating themselves and like to do so. Having the wife initiate and be obviously interested is actually a major “get” in that environment (and in the larger male population, too, I suspect). For long-married men, being expected to do all initiating tends to be viewed as an unfair burden (and I’ve seen a lot of griping in Red Pill-land about “duty sex” and “starfish”).
–Another thing that comes to mind is that energy levels tend to be rather lower from 40 on, so how one feels about having to do all the initiating is going to be very different at 45 than at 25. You can ask around if you don’t believe me.
–Related: Having to tell another adult what to do all the time is potentially a huge energy suck and drain on overall productivity. It’s not typically a very productive lifestyle (see, for example, Afghanistan or Yemen or Saudi Arabia), and it can be confining and limiting. As Frederick Douglass famously said, “No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.” Or fellow woman, for that matter. This is presumably the reason that Red Pill married men so often discourage their single brethren from getting married–the style of marriage they advocate is also burden to the man.
–I’m going to go out on a limb and say that in a typical happy marriage, each spouse makes sexual overtures at different times.
–“Using your logic I could reasonably conclude that feminism is bad for women since so many of them have or had problems with men.” Here’s a dissimilarity. Many women (who you would describe as feminists) claim to have happy egalitarian marriages.
Edited to add: The Red Pill marriage model is very, very hard on men. It’s just not realistic to expect to be able to be “on” all the time, especially not as one ages.
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