Have to Vent-Ghosts and Kids

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SurlyMermaid

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Guys, friends… brothers and sisters… Allow Miss Mermaid to vent! :cool:

So… my stepson, who is almost in high school, just got home from school. He is crying and convinced there is a ghost in this house and that ghosts follow him. He is sitting in this room with me and too scare to leave the room to go to the bathroom or anything.

A little background…

His mom is a Wiccan who does ghost hunting in her spare time. On her phone she has photos and sound/video files of supposed paranormal activity. She has taken my stepson on investigations with her “co-workers” who do this for a living. He is scared to death now.

I think I also need some advice. His dad, God love him but he has no tact, is very firm, “There’s no ghosts; stop being stupid.” I don’t believe, but I don’t want to be the mean stepmom and be contrary to his mother. How do I handle this???

Grrr…
 
Kids have big imaginations and they also fib.

When I was young I kept up a years long lie that I had seen a ghost.

Likely nothing to worry about here.
 
Just got off the phone with the mom. She called me trying again to convince me to bring her ghost handling team to our house. Her son is scared and upset. He really believes this stuff now. She told us that her son, even as a baby, was able to see spirits and such and they are drawn to him. She recently took him on yet another expedition and during this he was being “drained of energy” by an apparition and they had to rush him back to base. The device they use for measuring supernatural energy was going haywire. :rolleyes: This from a woman who’s friend, who I’ve never met called me to say she was going to kick my a-- if I took my stepson to church again. His mother claims to know nothing about the friend calling or why. I’ve never taken him, but his dad has. They had agreed to raise him Pagan.

She was on the phone just now drilling in how things continue to happen at our home that are obviously the work of poltergeists. She is sorry that his dad and stepmom don’t see it or understand.

I sweetly but firmly told him in no uncertain terms he would be respectful for our wishes and not talk to my younger daughter about this, or his brother later (who is now an infant).

My mother-in-law is angry too. I’m starting to think my husband, his dad, need to sit down with his ex-girlfriend and firmly tell her she needs to cut this out. My own crazy mother was obsessed with ghosts and aliens, on and off. She did some damage to my sister and me this way. I think hubs needs to put a stop to this. My mother-in-law is recommending I call a priest at our parish and have him come bless the house, and with my sweet stepson here at the time. 👍
 
Having the house blessed is an excellent idea! Even if you don’t have ghosts. :rolleyes: It is a beautiful rite and will likely calm your son as well.

How much does your stepson understand/know about the Catholic faith? I think it might be reasonable to explain to him that God has given everyone a special (guardian) angel to protect us. He can call on his guardian angel when he’s upset by unusual things that he’s been led to believe are ghosts.

FYI, but not something I think you need to share with son now - Catholics do believe that there can be communication bewteen the “afterworld” and the present. There have been Saints who’ve said they were visited by people from purgatory (which sounds kinds like ghosts to me). We also believe in angels and demons.

What Catholics (and most Christians) don’t do though is deliberately try to converse with or otherwise interact with ghosts/dead people. No seances, “ghost-busting”, “hunting” or other nonsense.

The steps you’ve taken so far are very reasonable. Having your dh tell the mom to stop taking son on these outings is the next step. Maybe she will be convinced by how ‘draining’ it is for son.:eek:

Pray for him, and I will too. My son is just a bit older and would be similarly freaked out by that kind of stuff going on around him. Maybe a novena to St Dominic Savio, patron saint of altar/choir boys, or St Gemma Galgani, who was able to see and speak with her guardian angel.
 
Take him to google. Have him type in “Debunking Ghost Hunters”. Laugh at his mum.

Honestly, folks. This is all nonsense. You can go to Gettysburg on one of the “Ghost tours” and take all kinds of pictures with “mysterious glowing balls” showing up on your film. Next day you go back and you find all the tinsel that was reflecting from your flash.

Get him a rosary, instruct him in it’s use and make sure you’re giving him the opportunity to go to confession. Nothing rides the mind more than the weight of sin.
 
We can’t deny the existence of ghosts, and poltergeist activity is usually attributed to demonic activity.

Although, in your case there genuinely isn’t any kind of paranormal activity, and your step son is just paranoid because of his mother’s dabbling in the occult, which has him exposed to things he shouldn’t be exposed to.

Explain to him the advice you’ve been given here on CAF. DO give him a medal of St Benedict, though his mother might not like this, ask his father. Pray for him, and for his mother.
 
When my “Christian-Spiritual-But-Not-Religious” friend came into town with her new husband, he was thrilled by the fact that my blessed chalk markings over the door managed to keep out the evil spirits that only he could see. Churches usually only give blessed chalk out at Epithany, but maybe you could ask a priest to bless some specially for you. It might help keep the peace at least temporarily.
 
I believe in Ghosts. Often they are souls from purgatory in need of prayer. Occasionally something more sinister. Either way Prayer & Sacramentals are a good Start
 
If a child says there’s a monster under the bed, the worst thing a parent could do would be to discount it. While adults know there’s no monster under the bed, it is the child’s reality and needs to be dealt with in a supportive and loving manner. The same should hold true for your stepson.

Based on his experiences, your stepson appears to be a very sensitive young man and, in light of the fact that his mother is a wiccan, I would take his statement that there are ghosts in the house seriously–very seriously. Whether you or your husband believe in this paranormal type of experience or not does not take away from the fact that your stepson believes they exist and so you must do everything in your power to resolve this “ghost in the house” issue.

People don’t come back from the dead, not their spirits or an appariation that looks like them, but, according to the bible, the devil, can come back as an “angel of light” and has fooled many people in the process. I believe you love this boy and I hope, for his sake, that you will call the church for a house blessing or exorcism, if it comes to that. As head of the household, you have the God given authority to pray protection over your household. Psalm 91 in the bible is a very good prayer to pray in cases like this. You would have to pray in the first person to make it your own, but you will find it a very powerful tool in dealing with the supernatural.

Another factor to deal with is your husband’s apparent disdain over this whole situation. It appears to have fallen to you to deal with this issue, as I believe you have a vested interest in it. Your husband may not believe in “ghosts” but he needs to see that his son is having a real problem with it. Also, you can pray for the boy and his mother, that they come to know Jesus, because whatever they are involved with is not of God. I pray that you have the strength to stand in for your stepson as you walk in faith towards resolving this very serious matter.

God Bless
 
Please do not just discount your son’s fears just because you don’t believe in “ghosts.” We shouldn’t discount and dismiss the supernatural, especially as Catholics. The supernatural is real. There is Good supernatural, like the Eucharist, and there is Bad supernatural, like demonic possession. As to what “ghosts” are, it’s debatable, but they definitely exist. Dismissing all ghosts as not real is dangerous. The devil wants us to dismiss him. You can’t fight what you don’t believe in!

Could your stepson just be really creeped out by what his mom is telling/showing him, compounded by a young imagination? Sure. But since his mom is Wiccan, don’t just assume nothing is really wrong. Unfortunately, many Wiccans dabble with the spirit world and have no idea what they are really messing with. They can and do fall under demonic influence, and this can definitely affect those close to them.

If it were me? I would run this whole thing by a good, orthodox priest. Prayer is a powerful weapon, as are the Sacraments. But please, don’t just blow this all off as “ghosts aren’t real.”
 
SurlyMermaid said:
My mother-in-law is angry too. I’m starting to think my husband, his dad, need to sit down with his ex-girlfriend and firmly tell her she needs to cut this out. My own crazy mother was obsessed with ghosts and aliens, on and off. She did some damage to my sister and me this way. I think hubs needs to put a stop to this. My mother-in-law is recommending I call a priest at our parish and have him come bless the house, and with my sweet stepson here at the time. 👍
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Your crazy mother sounds like my crazy MIL!
 
mt_gooseberry said:
If it were me? I would run this whole thing by a good, orthodox priest. Prayer is a powerful weapon, as are the Sacraments. But please, don’t just blow this all off as “ghosts aren’t real.”
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Giving attention to this silliness often causes more problems than just ignoring it.
 
How old is this boy?

The thing is, there are exorcists within our church for a reason. And there is a reason, that nearly any other church that runs into a demon informs people they must go to the Catholic church to get them dealt with.

I’m suprised by all the :rolleyes:'s. It’s as if people don’t realize there are some serious demonic activities in our world.

The fact that your DH and ex agreed to raise this child Pagan. :eek: would suggest to me that perhaps evil has actually been invited in.

I would personally contact your priest. Or even find out who your local exercist is. I’d explain all that you just did, and invite them over for a home blessing and such.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been rather “sensitive”. It’s unusally odd to be in a location in which I suddenly announce I need to get out of there, it feels so awful. And then later learn awful things have happened there. Co-inky-dink? Maybe. Worth hanging out to find out? No way!
 
faithfully said:
How old is this boy?

The thing is, there are exorcists within our church for a reason. And there is a reason, that nearly any other church that runs into a demon informs people they must go to the Catholic church to get them dealt with.

I’m suprised by all the :rolleyes:'s. It’s as if people don’t realize there are some serious demonic activities in our world.

The fact that your DH and ex agreed to raise this child Pagan. :eek: would suggest to me that perhaps evil has actually been invited in.
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I agree.

When I was in Basic Training…on Sundays we were allowed to attend Church. While a vast majority went to a non-specific, non-denom service…there were a handful of girls with no religious affiliation that wanted to take advantage of the different services they offered, such as Buddhist, Mormon and others…including Wiccan.
They came back and described an experience where one girl seemed overcome with a “spirit” 🤷 and actually fainted.
I, as well as some other girls, told them to stay away from that service because we didn’t want any evil demons entering our dorm.

They thought this was kind of strange…but many of the girls insisted and they never went back.

In my opinion…most “spirits” are either non-existant or possibly demonic. It frightens me to hear people describing themselves as Mediums or fortune tellers because they are either fake or channeling something very evil.
 
Thanks to everyone for the support and advice. :grouphug:

My mother-in-law is with me: Call our priest and be done with it. We are both angry that this continues and want the best for our young man (he’s 12, but a very young 12). I don’t dis-count what he’s saying and feeling. My own mother had us scared so much my sister was on sleeping pills at that age. We thought the government, ghosts, and aliens were after our family. So… I know the damage this can do, whether or not there are supernatural entities at work.

I’m emailing our parish priest now and getting his thoughts.

What infuriates me is that my stepson’s mother continues with this. It’s like my sweet MIL says, “You believe what you want but don’t scare your kids with it!!!” I told my stepson last night, “Your dad and I believe differently than you and your mom. I really respect your mom and don’t want to be contrary to her. I believe strongly in the Catholic faith and in God and I’m going to seek help from our priest. He will know what to do. Would you like to be here when he comes?” My stepson agreed.

Look, I know what the Church teaches. I can’t argue with my stepson’s mom that things have been really, really bad since we moved into this house. As soon as we bought it our relationships with one another have imploded. That, to my stepson, is a point in favor of supernatural weirdness. It’s not going to hurt to get a man of the cloth in. Hubby has agreed. 🙂 If nothing, nothing else, I think it will help ease my stepson’s mind. His mother gave him some instructions for Pagan rituals to do here. I had to calmly explain that his dad is the head of the household and is Catholic (I’m RCIA!) and we would have to find “Catholic rituals” to do.

This is an interesting situation. My husband and his ex want my stepson to be able to do whatever Pagan stuff he wants here. I’m growing more and more uncomfortable with it, but this is my stepson’s home. My stepson does admit the more “ritual” he does in his room, the more this house has “happenings.” Maybe this is going to be a tool for evangelism? My Protestant buddies do feel that his mother has brought some forces into our home.

I am praying that this will be something that winds up being for the better; part of God’s plan. 👍 I do feel I need to tread lightly and prayerfully in order to not make things worse or more strained. My stepson’s mother’s friend did remind me a couple of weeks ago, not kindly, that I can’t talk Christianity to my stepson without them coming over to kick my… :eek:
 
Best case scenario:

You’ve got a very scared 12-year old boy on your hands who needs a lot of support…and possible therapy…🤷

Worst case scenario:

Well…I’m sure none of us want to imagine what this might be…
 
I like the idea of the medal. Plus perhaps teach him the St. michael prayer? Discuss guardian angels. You sound so patient with him. This must be awful for him. I also find it wonderful that you can genuinely relate to him. Perhaps tell him about your experience. It almost sounds abusive for the mom to bring him with her. If she really believed these things, why would she pu him in harms way?
 
ringil said:
Giving attention to this silliness often causes more problems than just ignoring it.
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Right, because a young boy performing Wiccan rituals that result in household tension, fear, and possible demonic activity is just “silliness.” In any case, if a 12yo boy is so scared he cries and can’t go to the bathroom alone, then just “ignoring” him would be cruel and neglectful. Thank goodness the OP is a caring enough parent to give her stepson the attention he obviously needs, supernatural happenings or no.
 
SurlyMermaid said:
My stepson does admit the more “ritual” he does in his room, the more this house has “happenings.”
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I’d approach carefully. After talking with a priest about this, I would explain to his child that you also beleive in demons. And they don’t usually come in unless invited, or find a great big entrance. And they most certainly don’t leave of their own accord.

Personally, I would tell him, and his father he should not be doing any rituals that invite trouble.

And he believes thats the only thing that’s the result of his “rituals”. The “happenings” that are scaring him. He is likely to listen.

My mother tells me of a woman she once knew. She got involved with a sort of group that did all this chanting for money and expensive things. And the crazy thing was that she suddenly started getting it. But she was also becoming haunted by something. Her final straw was when she felt something push her down the stairs. It sounds crazy, but I’ll tell you, she immediately did some research on the group she had been hanging wih and what she was doing and she was convinced that she had invited demons in. And she went through a lot to clean the house so to speak. Has converted to Catholicism, and doesn’t even miss daily mass. All of this scared her badly. An adult. Imagine what it’s doing to a child.

Before the priest comes, I would have a conversation with him about what he plans to talk about.
 
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