He decided to walk out

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He agreed to my conditions. We are taking it real slowly, one day at a time, he will continue to live elsewhere until things start to get better. Please continue to pray for us.

Thank you!
 
I’m still wondering if I should serve him with separation and include court orders…
 
yjenkins said:
I’m not wanting him to stay. If anything I want him to leave so I can function. That statement was not meant for me to ask if I should let him leave because I do want him to leave. I just wanted to know if by him leaving will he realize what he will be missing out on.
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You can’t know that. Might never happen. You just might find out you are better off when he does leave. You already feel you’ll be able to function better. Whatever happens, if he does leave, you will live and not feel you are walking around on egg shells every day. Just quiet and peace are very nice.
 
I know I will live:) As far as serving him with court orders and legal separation, I already know how I will go about it.
 
I am so confused about my husband. We both want to take things slow however his idea of taking things slow is when he gets back he wants to gradually work up to spending the whole day and most of the night with us. In other words, he said that he will start off by spending half a day with us and work from there. I told him I do not want to be in this marriage part time and if we eventually want to stay together we have to spend the whole day and most of the night together and that we also will need time together as a couple. Just an FYI, we are currently living separately.
 
yjenkins said:
I am so confused about my husband. We both want to take things slow however his idea of taking things slow is when he gets back he wants to gradually work up to spending the whole day and most of the night with us. In other words, he said that he will start off by spending half a day with us and work from there. I told him I do not want to be in this marriage part time and if we eventually want to stay together we have to spend the whole day and most of the night together and that we also will need time together as a couple. Just an FYI, we are currently living separately.
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I thought he agreed to YOUR conditions? Sounds like he’s setting some of his own…Which can be OK, but you have to work it out between you. If you are not seeing a counselor together I would make that a condition of his return.
 
All of this came to a surprise. We did not discuss this however we will be discussing this today and other things as well. I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated. His idea of only spending half a day with us and gradually building up to an all day thing is frustrating!!!
 
TheRealJuliane said:
He has locked you out of the finances?

:eek:
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Yeah, if there are not joint bank accounts than I would have some kind of court ordered alimony/child support. You must ensure that you and the kids are protected. Please see a lawyer. Spiritual support is important but you also need legal as well.
 
I have contacted my lawyer about this. He said he wants to work things out but he is not willing to re-instate me back into our joint accounts. I’m not sure where to go from here.
 
Yesterday’s discussion went south. Today we are going to attempt to have another discussion however when I called him and asked him how long it will take him to get here his response was “I already told you.” The tone he used was rude. We had initially talked about talking to each other in a respectful manner and expressed the tones we would like for each of us to use on one another. I think I’m getting close to reaching my final straw. I will not tolerate him mistreating me. I’m so sick and tired of being nice and respecting his wishes. He tells me he wants to be talked to in a nice manner yet he continues to talk to me in a disrespectful way.
 
Praying for your situation!

You really need to be seeing a counselor. Just alone at first. I can’t say for sure, but most I’ve heard of will recommend full legal separation first as clearly, you are in a precarious financial situation and that’s not fair to the children or you. Then counseling together will be a must - all serious conversations to take place with the counselor as mediator. Only after some progress is made, and with both parties agreeing, would periodic dating take place. Counselors usually require taking things all the way back to the beginning. Not half days or full days or any overnights.

All this: financial agreements, mandatory counseling, visitation with children is set in the Separation agreement. That is its purpose - to protect all parties and allow for time to attempt conciliation.

It sounds like your husband is going back to his old, controlling and verbally abusive ways and your conversations are not making any progress. You need more help than advice on an internet board can give you.
 
I am currently going through counseling. When we talk later this morning and I am going to tell him that going to counseling together is a MUST.
 
I think that getting it in a legal agreement would be a good idea. You must protect your children from financial ruin. Also most agencies will not allow you to apply for help such as food stamps, MediCaid, etc. without some support agreement, etc. without a support agreement in place.
 
My lawyer is filing my paper work for legal separation as we speak.
 
yjenkins said:
My lawyer is filing my paper work for legal separation as we speak.
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St Rita of Cascia please pray for this woman. If it be God’s will that this man be converted through God’s grace than please show this woman, this child of God strength, to endure his behavior through this tenuous time. If this man will not be pulled back to this marriage, then please give this woman the strength and comfort from the mantle of the Blessed Virgin that she may know the peace that you came to in your trials. May your prayers be heard by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
 
Thank you Joan. I really needed this prayer. I have been asking GOD to give me some sort of sign, whether to stay in this marriage or not. I can honestly say I am doing my part in this marriage. I’m not sure how much longer I can. I told him if he continues to disrespect me and treat me in a degrading manner I am done trying.
 
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