He thought he married a Catholic girl

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Pcan

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My husband I have been married for 18 years, he went to Catholic school for 12 years, I went for 8. I want to go to an Evangelical church now,he gets very upset,even though I will still go to mass with him? I have had a problem with alcohol in the past and he didn’t want me to go to AA. He says I don’t need it. I went to “Celebrate Recovery” at this church and I love it! I go to help with a Christian group that feeds the poor, he doesn’t like that because its not Catholic! I don’t really feel spiritually fulfilled at the Catholic Church we go to. He feels very strongly about being a “Catholic” and sees being a Catholic as his way to heaven. He thinks this is the worst thing I could do and it may be deal breaker. This is second marriage for both of us and all of our children are grown, and we’re when we married. I would love some advice! 🙏
 
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Pcan said:
I want to go to an Evangelical church now,he gets very upset,even though I will still go to mass with him?
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Did you receive all the Sacraments?
Pcan said:
I don’t really feel spiritually fulfilled at the Catholic Church we go to.
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Feelings come and go. Have you looked into attending a different Catholic Church or even changing Rites?
Pcan said:
This is second marriage for both of us
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Were you married in the Church? Were your previous marriages annulled?
 
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Join St. Vincent dePaul at the parish. They do excellent work. Very fulfilling. And Catholic. They help people of all faiths, not just Catholics.
 
Have you reassured him that you will still be attending mass and prioritizing the sacraments? If so then I don’t think it’s his place to tell you not to do worthwhile volunteering elsewhere.
 
Find and pray for ‘community’ at the Catholic Church. It seems you are looking for community versus spiritual fulfillment. The Eucharist can fulfil you spiritually if you are going to confession and praying. Remember when you seek your community you always remember the Church is the Arc and Jesus started the Church. Other churches don’t have the Eucharist. :pray:t2:
 
I’m Catholic, but I go to an evangelical/Christian reformed school. I see how many Evangelicals do spiritually fulfilling things like helping the poor. However, like berniemcken said the Catholic church is the only one which offers Eucharist (Jesus Himself). Receiving Jesus, in my opinion, is the most fulfilling.
 
Many good Catholics prefer to marry another Catholic and would get very upset if their spouse suddenly went off and joined some other church.

Can’t you find a Catholic charity group to help with feeding the poor and/or “celebrating recovery”?
Around here, there are a number of Catholic groups (such as St. Vincent de Paul), Catholic parishes, and even non-denominational charity groups that do activities to help the poor. The evangelicals don’t have a monopoly on this activity.
There are also plenty of AA groups and healing/ recovery Masses held in Catholic churches.
 
Yes. The Catholic Church as a whole give more $$$ to the needy that any other organization.
One isn’t looking hard enough to not find a group to work with within the church.

What Tis has suggested to you is simply the tip of the iceberg!
 
I think a lot of times evangelical churches lean heavily on “feelings”. They make everything extremely flashy and try to whip people into an emotional high.

I’m not trying to denigrate evangelicals, but remember feelings come and go. It’s just a show. There’s no substance behind it. The sacraments might be much quieter, but they beat the hell out of a laser light show and a praise band.
 
I’m really confused why your husband thinks feeding the poor isn’t catholic? Being Catholic is not just a Sunday activity for a hour it’s a way of living. I"m sorry that you too are going through this. I’ll say a prayer for you today. God Bless.
 
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There are Catholic alternatives to everything you mentioned. You may have to volunteer through another parish, but they are there. St. Vincent de Paul was the first thing to come to mind.

I think it is reasonable for your husband to be upset about you potentially changing religions.
 
There aren’t necessarily Catholic alternatives available everywhere. Some places have active and dynamic parishes others have smaller ones where maybe a handful of retired people meet during day day a few times a year.

I think it best to serve where you can and where you are useful.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
I think a lot of times evangelical churches lean heavily on “feelings”. They make everything extremely flashy and try to whip people into an emotional high.
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Definitely. That’s how they keep people coming back. That’s actually good if the person was previously seeking their “emotional high” by getting wasted on drugs or alcohol every weekend. But bad if the person was previously connected with the Eucharist through the Catholic Church.

If what you’re looking for is an emotional experience of the Mass, I’d recommend healing and recovery Masses, in other words, charismatic movement. That way, you get to experience the more emotional Mass, while at the same time remaining part of the Catholic Church.
 
First of all, congratulations on your sobriety! That is no small accomplishment 🙂

Are you looking for people on a Catholic forum to advise you or help you leave the Catholic Church (maybe I’m just misreading your post?)

I can tell you, from a theological basis that the Catholic Church is the oldest church, the one that has the fullness of faith along with the sacraments, which you would no longer have in the Evangelical church.

You seem to be longing for joy and connection? Also for an opportunity for faith-in-action with feeding the poor. The Catholic Church also has charity opportunities.
I would caution about chasing after a particular feeling, however. Feelings are not faith, or even truth.

I’ll remember you and hubby in my prayers.
 
I know our diocese has frequent praise and worship services with some really great preaching. P&W isn’t really my thing, but some people love it. It’s not a substitute for Mass, but an add-on.
 
To add on to this post, the Catholic Church does more for the poor, suffering and sick in this world than any other organization.
 
I think you need to talk to your husband, and maybe to your pastor about how you are feeling, especially with respect to the lack of fulfillment in your church and the lack of support you are receiving in your path to sobriety (and well done to you for taking the steps you need to take).

Strangers on the internet can offer all the advice in the world, but ultimately, your husband needs to know how you are feeling in your marriage, and your pastor is probably best placed to help you if you are struggling to connect within the Church.
 
pianistclare said:
Yes. The Catholic Church as a whole give more $$$ to the needy that any other organization.

One isn’t looking hard enough to not find a group to work with within the church.

What Tis has suggested to you is simply the tip of the iceberg!
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Emphasizing this because it’s so true. Look at your parish’s website to find out about the groups they have. If not your own parish then one nearby will have a St. Vincent DePaul group that works to feed the poor, etc. You could contact your local Catholic Charities office to volunteer with them as well.

I would listen to your husband and see if there isn’t something you can find within the catholic church to fulfill your outreach needs. This should be a partnership between the two of you!
 
JanetF said:
Look at your parish’s website to find out about the groups they have
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Just a comment, parishes are notorious for having bad, outdated, non updated websites. If your parish has a good one, you are blessed (and be sure to tell the Pastor how much you appreciate the work done to provide it!)

Sometimes a simple call to the parish secretary or the Parish Council members, or picking up the Sunday bulletin!
 
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