Head of the household?

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hopefulldad said:
Yeah, I guess I should change the name. How bout, finallyacceptedthefactsoflifeafterpowerlesslywatchingmywifesendourchildrentohellwithherunderminingways? Kinda long though!
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ok, hopefulldad will do. LOL:p
aw, i’m sorry you have been through a bad time. really. but God is always there…and He will see you through. There are good women out there…and if you keep praying and seeking the Holy Spirit, you will find her.🙂
 
Proeliator said:
Yes, this can be used as an argument against mixed-religion marriages. I am sure there are good ones out there but the bottom line is that it is tuff as nails. Support is what is needed, not criticism. Its done and over with. If anyone in the future wants to know about mixed religion marriage I will tell them and it won’t be sugar-coated. (there is some good-believe it or not, but there is also a lot of bad).
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yeah, i mean…there are good and bad…even with two Catholics marrying. Marriage is a give and take, but your situation…what is tough about it is that she has her way of thinking (about God) and so do you. I asked this earlier…not sure if it was answered somewhere else in this thread…what is her faith?
 
Proeliator said:
She is a Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran.
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There’s hope…if you both love one another, there is hope. I pray that things work out. Is she dead against Catholicism, as the chosen faith for your kids?
 
Proeliator said:
I don’t have the exact quote but would like to know what is meant by The Man/Husband being head of the household? Scripture alludes to this. I am not trying to say that I want to rule my house with an iron fist. I just want to know if for the sake of my children’s upbringing in the Catholic faith I can use this scripture quote to my wife who happens not to be Catholic? Yes yes yes…there was an understanding that the children would be Catholic prior to marriage. Now she is wavering. Along with continued reminders of our “agreement”, would it be a good idea to blast that particular scripture at her?
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hmm… I don’t think blasting Scripture will do any good but if she made an agreement …
 
She is not DEAD SET against Catholicism. I believe when push comes to shove (not literally for you vocab freaks) she will bend. Thats just my hunch. I could be very wrong.
The kids are 6,4 1/2, 2, and about 5 months. 3 girls-1boy and in that order. All baptized Catholic.
 
Proeliator said:
She is not DEAD SET against Catholicism. I believe when push comes to shove (not literally for you vocab freaks) she will bend. Thats just my hunch. I could be very wrong.
The kids are 6,4 1/2, 2, and about 5 months. 3 girls-1boy and in that order. All baptized Catholic.
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Her conversion will make it easier, and with God, all things are possible. Don’t discount that she may convert…but in the interim…they were baptized Catholic? that’s a great start…what exactly is she having some issues with?
 
Purgatory,Mary, and the Pope. Recently, i asked about the Immaculate Conception here on CA. I received some awesome replies as expected. I asked my wife to read them and to my surprise she did. I thought we were making some headway but evidently not. She has gone back to her unbelief in these areas. I am convinced if she is not open to the Holy Spirit its plain out not happening.
 
Proeliator said:
Purgatory,Mary, and the Pope. Recently, i asked about the Immaculate Conception here on CA. I received some awesome replies as expected. I asked my wife to read them and to my surprise she did. I thought we were making some headway but evidently not. She has gone back to her unbelief in these areas. I am convinced if she is not open to the Holy Spirit its plain out not happening.
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I’m sorry proeliator, but your kids are still small so maybe she will change her mind. As I said in a previous post, I think you really need to tell her how much this is weighing on you…approach it with " we have a problem and need to work this out"

Would she be opposed to you taking the kids to Church without her if she didn’t want to go?
 
To Mariam1976 , you say

" I remember many on this forum saying that it is the husband’s part to show the love first and the submission follows automatically… "

Careful there. Submission does not by any means “follow automatically”. Not only does that deny the free will of the woman, but it is an all too convenient out, for if the submission isnt flowing, by that reasoning it is BECAUSE the man isn’t loving properly. (And of course who judges that but the wife???) Way too convenient.

Loving the wife as Christ loved the church isn’t always easy. In fact it can be an incredibly difficult act of the will. It does not follow automatically when the wife is doing her part. Being submissive, I would say , would also not just happen automatically. Both roles are each spouses path to heaven, and no path to heaven is automatic or easy.
 
To OP,
I agree with the response that you should continue with your own work towards raising your children Catholic. Unless your wife is dead set against you doing that, then you had better do a major amount of praying. I will try to remember you in my prayers - you are in a difficult situation. My dh is not RC but his lack of church going of any type made him an easy sell as long as I am responsible. I realize now that it would never have worked out if he had strong religious convictions of his own. I see it all the time how people mess their kids up in this matter. I have half the children in my CCD class only able to come to CCD and church every other weekend. Moms and Dads who agreed to have children baptised RC didn’t think they were responsible for that commitment once divorce finalized. It makes me so mad I want to call those parents up and ask them how what was important to them once no longer holds importance.
Hang in there and pray! I keep a Scapula under the mattress on dh’s side (a nun told me to try this) in hopes that he will one day convert. After all, it only took my father 25 years and many prayers from my mother before he converted and became Super Catholic.
God Bless!
 
Thanks for the prayers.
What’s your deal hopefulldad? Alot of what you say is true. Its not that easy for either spouse. Doesn’t help when people come in here and start pointing fingers. You know the old adage, three fingers are pointing back at you!
 
Hopefulldad- I’ll say a prayer for you and your relationship today. I’m done with this thread.
 
Didn’t mean to point a finger anywhere but at those who were pointing fingers. But I guess you are right that my pointing a finger at the finger pointers makes me a finger pointer myself.

I guess all I was just reacting to was the comment about how a wife will “automatically” submit when the husband is loving her as Christ loved us. Didn’t happen with Christ, did it?! He loved perfectly and was crucified for it — and very few loved him in return, and those who did were generally persecuted and executed - but went to heaven in the end.

We all just have to strive for our own sanctity, and when crosses come our way, regardless of if we made them ourselves or if they were made by our spouses or anyone else, we have to carry them a lot more gracefully than I am carrying mine.

“freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood”
 
I guess all I was just reacting to was the comment about how a wife will “automatically” submit when the husband is loving her as Christ loved us. Didn’t happen with Christ, did it?! He loved perfectly and was crucified for it — and very few loved him in return, and those who did were generally persecuted and executed - but went to heaven in the end.
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Here-here!

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is nothing more than a female way of laying the blame of her own actions on her husband.

“Well I would have done God’s will, if my husband only…”
 
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