M
Michael_Neal
Guest
don’t quit, he needs friends like you, stick up for him help him.
- Status
G
grubbles
Guest
Hi
This sounds like a problem i had with the Deacon who runs our RCIA.
Basically he was booted out of the church council in our parish because he tried to overtake everything - and was quite frankly bullying his way round the priest - until that preist was replaced and we welcomed the new one.
After that he left for the chapel down the road from us and started spreading lies etc about our chapel and basically drove my parish to near closure - until we figured out how to run it ourselves.
The deacon basically claims to be a master of ceremony (which i thought was the preist himself?) and a host of other things - doesnt help he slagged off the KOC which my husband is a member of the council.
He got a fright when i brought my family down with me one night so they could show some support for what i was doing in the RCIA - poor blokes voice broke again!
All i can say - stand up for what you believe - dont let people drive you from your place of worship - and who has the right to bully a man of god - especially a nun!!
This sounds like a problem i had with the Deacon who runs our RCIA.
Basically he was booted out of the church council in our parish because he tried to overtake everything - and was quite frankly bullying his way round the priest - until that preist was replaced and we welcomed the new one.
After that he left for the chapel down the road from us and started spreading lies etc about our chapel and basically drove my parish to near closure - until we figured out how to run it ourselves.
The deacon basically claims to be a master of ceremony (which i thought was the preist himself?) and a host of other things - doesnt help he slagged off the KOC which my husband is a member of the council.
He got a fright when i brought my family down with me one night so they could show some support for what i was doing in the RCIA - poor blokes voice broke again!
All i can say - stand up for what you believe - dont let people drive you from your place of worship - and who has the right to bully a man of god - especially a nun!!
P
puzzleannie
Guest
I sympathize entirely with OP in her dilemma, and understand her decision and the agony behind it, having been through this in 2 parishes.
Yes you are right to leave the ministry, but you owe the pastor a brief, non-accusatory letter explaining your reasons, simply state the bald facts
“Sister Mary Militant has informed me that my services are no longer needed because in her exact words . . . We want you to know how happy we are that you have been assigned to this parish and that we support you and pray for you in all you do for us.”
My only thought, as the RCIA lady in my parish, is that now there is one less reliable person for new inquirers and candidates to work with, and that makes me very sad.
Yes you are right to leave the ministry, but you owe the pastor a brief, non-accusatory letter explaining your reasons, simply state the bald facts
“Sister Mary Militant has informed me that my services are no longer needed because in her exact words . . . We want you to know how happy we are that you have been assigned to this parish and that we support you and pray for you in all you do for us.”
My only thought, as the RCIA lady in my parish, is that now there is one less reliable person for new inquirers and candidates to work with, and that makes me very sad.
T
thomasf
Guest
When we got a new priest last year, he was a bit different from the last priest we had. Of course some people didn’t like him because of this. But from the start, any time I was in the presence of someone who ran him down or complained, I stood up for him and defended him, in a strong manner, as a good priest. I even went so far as to point out that we should be praying for him and supporting him as the leader of our parish, and definitely not running him down. That inevitably shut the other people up. You must lead and be the example to show people that not everyone believes this. Some people just go along with what they’ve heard, not knowing if the guy is a good or bad priest. There has to be voices of support if there are voices of dissent. That’s where you come in and you shouldn’t run from this.
B
BlestOne
Guest
I so totally wish we went to the same parish… I always look forward to your advice. Thank you!
BTW… I spit out my soda when I read “Sister Mary Militant”… that was hilarious! In my case it would be Sister Sara, queen of misinterpreting Vatican II… she actually taught my dd that there was a female pope once! And to think… I was the assistant DRE when she was DRE… scary! I think that may have been why I was replaced with no notification… ya think?
A
A_Sinner_1
Guest
I agree with the advice about hanging in and playing dumb. However, if that’s not possible, can you to find a nearby good, orthodox parish with an orthodox pastor and RCIA director? If so, explain the situation both to your pastor and the pastor of the other parish, go through RCIA in that parish, then, having received the sacraments, return to your home parish.
Wherever you complete RCIA, I suggest that afterward you find every like-minded, orthodox parishioner, organize a group in support of your pastor, and raise a little “heaven” with the RCIA director and other cafeteria Catholics.
Wherever you complete RCIA, I suggest that afterward you find every like-minded, orthodox parishioner, organize a group in support of your pastor, and raise a little “heaven” with the RCIA director and other cafeteria Catholics.
F
FCEGM
Guest
Blest, just how entrenched is the good sister? Is there any reason to hope that Father will remove her and replace her with Sr. Sanity or Mrs. Faithful?
B
BSHoop96
Guest
I agree. Also if your priest is in the “right” think about sticking it out in RCIA. Sounds like he might need some help bringing things around.
I
Iowa_Mike
Guest
I admit I have not read all of the posts in this thread. However I am presently preparing to engage our RCIA director using Matthew 18:15-17 as the process.
I believe that our RCIA director is a heretic. I’m not sure he realizes that he is a heretic but he is. I don’t expect to get much support from our parish priest if it comes to that but…I expect I’ll find out soon enough.
The point is that if I don’t raise these issues for resolution who will? Pray to the Holy Spirit for the gift of fortitude. As one of my spiritual advisors recently told me, “Your troubled feelings arise from your love for the Kingdom of God and your desire to not see the kingdom corrupted by false teachers”. If you have a faithful priest at your parish he will need all the support he can get…make sure he knows your struggles and your mind. Whatever you do…don’t give in or give up.
Serviam,
Iowa Mike
I believe that our RCIA director is a heretic. I’m not sure he realizes that he is a heretic but he is. I don’t expect to get much support from our parish priest if it comes to that but…I expect I’ll find out soon enough.
The point is that if I don’t raise these issues for resolution who will? Pray to the Holy Spirit for the gift of fortitude. As one of my spiritual advisors recently told me, “Your troubled feelings arise from your love for the Kingdom of God and your desire to not see the kingdom corrupted by false teachers”. If you have a faithful priest at your parish he will need all the support he can get…make sure he knows your struggles and your mind. Whatever you do…don’t give in or give up.
Serviam,
Iowa Mike
J
JPUSC
Guest
Wow, what a bunch of hypocrites. I’ve encountered similar situations myself several times. Imagine…nuns and so-called Catholics gossiping about a faithful priest. I may not know the particulars of your situation, but I’ve seen exactly what you’re describing in many parishes. It’s hypocrisy like this that leads people away from the Church into atheism or other religions.
Let’s continue to ask St. Joseph to guide the Church and take care of those from within trying to destroy it.
B
BSHoop96
Guest
If she really taught that about a female pope and there are witnesses I think it’s time to “move up the chain of command” so to speak. She has no business teaching.
B
BlestOne
Guest
Now that is a happy thought… Sister was just asked to do it this year because an older couple used to do it but they are having health issues and decided not to this year.Blest, just how entrenched is the good sister? Is there any reason to hope that Father will remove her and replace her with Sr. Sanity or Mrs. Faithful?
Yeah… I prefer to think they are just ignorant not heretical, but you have a good point… thanks
Thanks… St Joseph might just be a good choice for prayers…
I didn’t get to talk to the pastor before Christmas because I got really really sick and ended up not even going to Christmas mass… I will however get a hold of him and speak to him.
I
Iowa_Mike
Guest
While you may think they are just ignorant, they really arn’t. The Church teaches that, “Faced with a moral choice, conscience can make either a right judgment in accordance with reason and divine law or, on the contrary, an erroneous judgment that departs from them (CCC1799)”. Further clarification can be found in CCC1791, 1792 and 1793 that explain when ignorance is a personal responsibility and when it is not. Only ‘invincible ignorance’ can truly mitigate personal responsibility. In short, a well-formed and informed Catholic cannot dissent from divine law and the Catholic faith.
People who have been schooled in the Catholic faith and divine law and choose to discard or distort it cannot claim 'invincible igonorance and so are ‘heretics’.
Iowa Mike
K
KingAlfred
Guest
What you’ve experienced is exactly why I don’t get involved in church activities. The few times I did so, weird politics and other kinds of dynamics immediately took over and demotivated me. For example, decades ago, when I taught CCD to 8th graders, the single worst kid I had was protected by her mother, who was highly placed in parish administration. The only way I could get the little monster under control was to directly quote her vile speech before the pastor-priest, in the company of her mother, who was shamed into disciplining her child. It was a* very ugly *experience, which I’ve never repeated. No way.
J
JPUSC
Guest
Glad I’m not the only one who has experienced this. There’s ugly politics everywhere, especially in parishes and church communities. It really does make you feel demotivated. Often, the truly devout people are the ones not involved at all. Honestly, some of the most sincere people I’ve encountered in my life aren’t even religious or Catholic for that matter, but I suppose that’s why the Church exists: to be a light and refuge for sinners.
They should put back the emphasis of the Church solely towards God and not so much on the parish community as what happened post-Vatican II. I go to church only for Mass, nothing more. If I want Catholic fellowship, I have my family.
J
jlhargus
Guest
Blest: it just is so sad to both of us. Even DH said last night that he goes nuts when the deacon and the nuns give misinformation…
JL: I suggest you take the Adult Catechism to RCIA. When misinformation is given, just say I was taught it was this way, or I think you are mistaken. Then say let’s look it up. If it is something like the lady pope, ask for her source and say I will check that out and let everyone know next week. I think the pastor should be informed, it is the absolute right of converts to be correctly informed
JL: I suggest you take the Adult Catechism to RCIA. When misinformation is given, just say I was taught it was this way, or I think you are mistaken. Then say let’s look it up. If it is something like the lady pope, ask for her source and say I will check that out and let everyone know next week. I think the pastor should be informed, it is the absolute right of converts to be correctly informed
N
NonCatholic
Guest
If you support the Pastor, then he needs to know, but do not bring the “other peoples” issue to him. He needs to know that you are for him, not for him and upset with the other…know what I mean?
As for the others, I personally, would remind them, that they are to show respect, in a respectful way, and that they are either going to be part of a problem or part of the solution. Or if you don’t have something good to say about someone, keep it to yourself as not to disturb others, like yourself…you can compassionately explain your position and how their comments affect you and possibly others, which they themselves probably don’t have that intention.
Either way, good luck and hang tough.
As for the others, I personally, would remind them, that they are to show respect, in a respectful way, and that they are either going to be part of a problem or part of the solution. Or if you don’t have something good to say about someone, keep it to yourself as not to disturb others, like yourself…you can compassionately explain your position and how their comments affect you and possibly others, which they themselves probably don’t have that intention.
Either way, good luck and hang tough.
G
grannymh
Guest
I feel for both of you…
This is a suggestion with no strings attached.
Find a church or a chapel that has Eucharistic Adoration. Simply sit quietly before Our Lord, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament before you. He loves you both.
Blessings,
grannymh
This is a suggestion with no strings attached.
Find a church or a chapel that has Eucharistic Adoration. Simply sit quietly before Our Lord, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament before you. He loves you both.
Blessings,
grannymh
I
IrishAm
Guest
I would propose that when this happens (and it does, a lot) it is not really because one group is “more liberal” or “more conservative” – it is all about POWER. I’ve seen it occur in parishes, in schools, in businesses, in neighborhoods and it ultimately comes down to people wanting to be in charge and control others and not yield “their turf” even to just and proper authority.
I often wonder if the word OBEDIENCE is even in the dictionary any longer . . .
R
RubyT
Guest
Your church needs you. Don’t give up. People are people, egos and all. Spiritual warfare is not just behind the scenes. Fight the good fight. Change is difficult for many people especially to those who are the opposite of meek. Go in there and be meek(controlled Power). Don’t let frustration cloud your judgment.
1 Tim “fight the good fight”.
Read 1st Timothy chapter one it should help you.
Prayer for you.
1 Tim “fight the good fight”.
Read 1st Timothy chapter one it should help you.
Prayer for you.
- Status