Help Finding Modest Clothes

[Walking_Home]

Hello, I am the “poor young boy” who wrote the above paragraph. For your information I am sixteen and consider myself to be a young man, not a boy.

But when does it go beyond physical attraction and become lust?

Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ~Mt 5:28

I know I can appreciate a woman’s figure. But when a young lady is flaunting her body, it is SOOOOOO hard for a young man not to stare.

How can a young man avoid the near occasion of sin (lust!) if the girls he is around are always wearing short-shorts of bikinis?!

Thank you.

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What–you can’t turn your head and look at something else. Can you not turn your thoughts to something other. When you are confronted with a “near occasion of sin”–you do have a God given ability – to not carry through with lustful thoughts. This is your
responsibility.

 

[Walking_Home]

Nonsense. In fact, by wearing less clothing in such conditions you’re putting yourself at an even greater risk of skin cancer by exposing your skin to UV rays. In such conditions it’s best to wear long sleeves, and clothing that covers the legs in lightweight breathable fabric in light colors that’s loose and promotes airflow.

You know, I’m sure the FSSP priests in Florida aren’t out in skimpy clothing because it’s too hot. They still sport their black cassocks, with long sleeve shirts and pants underneath. I haven’t heard of any of them dying because they keep themselves more covered than what we’re asked to do.

Furthermore, if you think where you’re living now is too hot to wear non-skimpy clothes, what do you think Hell is going to be like? I’m just saying…

Careful there—the scantily clad women may make it out of purgatory faster than you or I.

 

[Love_Divine]

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What–you can’t turn your head and look at something else. Can you not turn your thoughts to something other. When you are confronted with a “near occasion of sin”–you do have a God given ability – to not carry through with lustful thoughts. This is your
responsibility.

And it is OUR responsibility not to put temptation in front of those who are weak. I can’t believe how selfish some of the women in this thread are being.

 

[Walking_Home]

And it is OUR responsibility not to put temptation in front of those who are weak. I can’t believe how selfish some of the women in this thread are being.

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If men are banking on this so called “weakness”— they have learned nothing from 2000 years with Christ. They have not raised themselves out of the muck. We do men a disservice by keeping their “weakness” enabled.

 

[Monica4316]

I have the same dilemma as the OP…

I’m in my 20s and it’s honestly SO hard to find modest clothing in stores for people my age. I am on a very tight budget as well so I can’t afford expensive clothing (which is often more modest but - very pricey!). I am actually planning on making my own clothes soon… there are lots of good patterns out there, all you need is some practice, and fabric

meanwhile, - before I’ve started sewing, - I layer my clothing. So if I’m wearing a tanktop or a sleeveless dress, I wear something overtop. My skirts are all longer than the knee, and still cover my knees when I’m sitting down. There are a couple exceptions but I wear them with leggings. If a top is too low cut, I wear a tank top underneath. If I wear jeans, I wear a longer top or a tunic. Sometimes I wear a sleeveless dress (‘spaghetti strap’) over top a t-shirt. Sure sometimes it’s hot in the summer but I’d rather it be hot than wear mini shorts and a tiny tank top.

I’m looking forward to making my own clothes because then I have total control over what I want and I can make something elegant, modest, and feminine all at once. I also like my clothing to be more simple, I like details but not too much… I like more elegant designs.

 

[Chen_Zhen]

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The reality is–no one leads another to sin. Everyone has a choice. If a man is sees a scantily clad girl/women—he has the choice as to whether he lets his thoughts go where they should not be. This is a choice we all make.

This is a confused understanding.
One person can not make another sin. The will is free.
However, one can scandalize another. This is in scripture where Our Lord points out those who cause the “little ones” to sin. The little ones are children in this context, but it is not only children that need protection from scandal.
You and I and every other Christian (anyone according to the natural law) have a responsibility to avoid scandalizing another. The call girl who dresses in an overtly raunchy manner and leads another person to sin is guilty of scandal.
That is reality. Women cannot have complete control over this, but they should be aware and take responsibility.

 

[Chen_Zhen]

I have the same dilemma as the OP…

I’m in my 20s and it’s honestly SO hard to find modest clothing in stores for people my age. I am on a very tight budget as well so I can’t afford expensive clothing (which is often more modest but - very pricey!). I am actually planning on making my own clothes soon… there are lots of good patterns out there, all you need is some practice, and fabric

meanwhile, - before I’ve started sewing, - I layer my clothing. So if I’m wearing a tanktop or a sleeveless dress, I wear something overtop. My skirts are all longer than the knee, and still cover my knees when I’m sitting down. There are a couple exceptions but I wear them with leggings. If a top is too low cut, I wear a tank top underneath. If I wear jeans, I wear a longer top or a tunic. Sometimes I wear a sleeveless dress (‘spaghetti strap’) over top a t-shirt. Sure sometimes it’s hot in the summer but I’d rather it be hot than wear mini shorts and a tiny tank top.

I’m looking forward to making my own clothes because then I have total control over what I want and I can make something elegant, modest, and feminine all at once. I also like my clothing to be more simple, I like details but not too much… I like more elegant designs.

Good on you!
And I wish more people knew how to sew…myself included. It is a good skill.
Many women I am friends with feel like they don’t have many choices when it comes to good clothing. Apart from the issue of modesty, most clothes today is absolute junk. Why do so many of the jeans look like they have been used!? What a stupid trend! If I wanted used clothes I’d go to Goodwill or wear them out myself. I"m spending my money because I want something that I can use and will last.
Anyway, learning to make one’s own clothes is a good way to break free of the dependency of the “pop culture” industry when we don’t all have the money to shop for better clothes.

 

[Chen_Zhen]

Would it be so terrible for us to help our brothers carry that cross? And what of our dignity and beauty- true and inner beauty? I can see that we strongly disagree on this point but I believe clothing such as short shorts and tight low cut tank tops degrade a woman’s/girl’s beauty, femininity, and dignity. We are daughters of the King and should dress as such.
Does not every woman want the men in her life to act like knights in shining armor? How can they be expected to if we in turn do not act/ dress like ladies? I know we do not expect them to actually walk around in armor, but as Nibenon said they are much more visual than us. That doesn’t mean we have to wear out of style gowns, but can you really picture the heroine of any fairy tale wearing most of what we see in stores these days?

“Women will complain about the lack of knights in shining armor, but it hasn’t occurred to many of them that they are scarcely dressing like the chaste ladies of the days of chivalry.” Regina Doman

Whoever you are, thank God for you!
Thank you for placing God and reality before your opinion and feelings. It is a blessing to have women that are willing to see the example of Our Lord and help carry the Cross by keeping them from scandal.
I pray these other women in the world will, as Simon Cyrene help carry the cross at first. Though reluctant in the beginning, may they see the truth and assist in this labor of love.
May God love and bless you!

 

[Chen_Zhen]

You know, I’m sure the FSSP priests in Florida aren’t out in skimpy clothing because it’s too hot. They still sport their black cassocks, with long sleeve shirts and pants underneath. I haven’t heard of any of them dying because they keep themselves more covered than what we’re asked to do.

Right on! You have an excellent point. God love our priests!

 

[Nibenon]

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What–you can’t turn your head and look at something else. Can you not turn your thoughts to something other. When you are confronted with a “near occasion of sin”–you do have a God given ability – to not carry through with lustful thoughts. This is your
responsibility.

Would it be smart if an alcoholic’s wife brought home bottles of whisky? Everyone involved needs to help.

Are you a hormonally charged male? If not, you can’t tell me to just look away. Easier said than done.

 

[Walking_Home]

Would it be smart if an alcoholic’s wife brought home bottles of whisky? Everyone involved needs to help.

Are you a hormonally charged male? If not, you can’t tell me to just look away. Easier said than done.

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Because there are alcoholics — should we shut down all liquor stores. I did not say it was going to be easy–God did not promise us “easy”. You have to work at it—and this God did make you capable of doing.

 

[Walking_Home]

This is a confused understanding.
One person can not make another sin. The will is free.
However, one can scandalize another. This is in scripture where Our Lord points out those who cause the “little ones” to sin. The little ones are children in this context, but it is not only children that need protection from scandal.
You and I and every other Christian (anyone according to the natural law) have a responsibility to avoid scandalizing another. The call girl who dresses in an overtly raunchy manner and leads another person to sin is guilty of scandal.
That is reality. Women cannot have complete control over this, but they should be aware and take responsibility.

---

I leave it up to God to decide how guilty the call girl is. Many of these women come from abusive backgrounds–that has damaged them. They then are further abused by “pimps”.

 

[Debora123]

Nonsense. In fact, by wearing less clothing in such conditions you’re putting yourself at an even greater risk of skin cancer by exposing your skin to UV rays. In such conditions it’s best to wear long sleeves, and clothing that covers the legs in lightweight breathable fabric in light colors that’s loose and promotes airflow.

You know, I’m sure the FSSP priests in Florida aren’t out in skimpy clothing because it’s too hot. They still sport their black cassocks, with long sleeve shirts and pants underneath. I haven’t heard of any of them dying because they keep themselves more covered than what we’re asked to do.

**Furthermore, if you think where you’re living now is too hot to wear non-skimpy clothes, what do you think Hell is going to be like? I’m just saying…:shrug **

Wow really??

As I started reading this, I was planning to respond and give you my points of view as someone who lives down here, but when I got to the end and saw that last part, I decided I wasn’t going to bother. That was WAY out of line.

 

[Elven_Maid]

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Because there are alcoholics — should we shut down all liquor stores. I did not say it was going to be easy–God did not promise us “easy”. You have to work at it—and this God did make you capable of doing.

So what you are saying then is that we should leave them to fight this battle alone? Turn tail, let them drown?! Are comfort, convenience, and “fashion” more important than their souls?! Numbers do not win a battle, but they help! I will fight any evil alongside every soul on this earth until we are all home, if that means veiling my body so be it! I will not abandon them to fight temptation and lust alone, and neither should any woman or girl who cares for her brothers in Christ at all!

 

[Walking_Home]

So what you are saying then is that we should leave them to fight this battle alone? Turn tail, let them drown?! Are comfort, convenience, and “fashion” more important than their souls?! Numbers do not win a battle, but they help! I will fight any evil alongside every soul on this earth until we are all home, if that means veiling my body so be it! I will not abandon them to fight temptation and lust alone, and neither should any woman or girl who cares for her brothers in Christ at all!

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What I am seeing is that men are leaving it to women to carry the burden–without the boys/young men/men taking responsibility for their own lecherous eyes. Women who don’t hold the men accountable for their lechery — serve to further enable men to sink further into the muck.

 

[Chen_Zhen]

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I leave it up to God to decide how guilty the call girl is. Many of these women come from abusive backgrounds–that has damaged them. They then are further abused by “pimps”.

Your speaking of culpability.
The woman is still guilty of scandal in this instance, but her culpability is up to God. God knows the woman’s background, motives etc. But the woman is still committing a material sin and whether or not she is culpable depends on if she has committed formal sin and to what degree is her guilt is known by God.

The argument brought up is emotional and needs to be objective.
Women need to understand that they do have a responsibility to dress in a manner which will not cause a man to lust after her.
Men need to do what they can to overcome concupiscence of the eyes. Custody of the eyes is important, so is penance and prayer.

Men and women are at fault.

 

[Walking_Home]

Your speaking of culpability.
The woman is still guilty of scandal in this instance, but her culpability is up to God. God knows the woman’s background, motives etc. But the woman is still committing a material sin and whether or not she is culpable depends on if she has committed formal sin and to what degree is her guilt is known by God.

The argument brought up is emotional and needs to be objective.
Women need to understand that they do have a responsibility to dress in a manner which will not cause a man to lust after her.
Men need to do what they can to overcome concupiscence of the eyes. Custody of the eyes is important, so is penance and prayer.

Men and women are at fault.

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There are icons of our Blessed Mother with Her breast exposed. Would you say this representation of our Lady falls into material sin.

And yes both men and women are at fault–so if men start working harder at keeping modesty/custody of the eyes–women would then not be pushed into the unhealthy extreme view that unless they are covered up from neck to foot–they are leading men to sin.

 

[Irish_Kathleen]

I think you are all being so rude and mean to Debora123. She does not want people to dress immorally, she is just in 2011. She is a married woman,deeply in love with her husband and yet you all have the nerve to criticize her. You all should look as good as she does.

 

[Irish_Kathleen]

:harp:

Love divine, I think you should be a bit more cautious about those who you think are going to Hell, maybe you are a little worried about your own soul, just thinking!

 

[Love_Divine]

:harp:

Love divine, I think you should be a bit more cautious about those who you think are going to Hell, maybe you are a little worried about your own soul, just thinking!

I never said she was going to Hell, but it is a possibility if we willfully neglect our responsibilities to dress modestly, not to put temptation in front of the weak, etc. If she’s complaining she must wear less clothing because it’s hot, and she thinks she will “die” if she doesn’t, it is wise to remember that Hell will be much hotter and that we should be willing to suffer in this life to be virtuous, rather than resort to lowering ourselves to sins of the flesh in this life for our mere comfort.

I said nothing that wasn’t preached from the pulpit by the FSSP priest at the parish I attended throughout Lent.

Of course I’m concerned about my soul, as should everyone else be. We live in a world that doesn’t even recognize sin anymore. I make frequent use of devotional confession as to continue to receive the sacramental graces in order to advance in holiness. If you’re not concerned about your soul, then I worry for you.

I think you are all being so rude and mean to Debora123. She does not want people to dress immorally, she is just in 2011. She is a married woman,deeply in love with her husband and yet you all have the nerve to criticize her. You all should look as good as she does.

This coming from the person who insisted I had “issues” and “hang ups” . I live in 2011 too, and you know what? I shop at the same stores that other women my age shop at. The difference is I make a conscience effort to keep myself covered. I’m not overly attached to fashion trends and making sure I’m dressed to the 9’s. I dress to suit my figure, and modestly attractive. By modestly attractive, I mean not only that I’m properly covered, but also that I do not draw attention to myself or overly ornate. I keep my fashion simple and pleasant-looking. I don’t need to try hard, or go out of my way to look beautiful, because I am naturally beautiful, and I put more focus on being virtuous.