Help! I am desperate!

  • Thread starter Thread starter rpp
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I apologize, folks. I didn’t mean anything by it.

I’m truly very sorry.

Please forgive me. 😦
 
rpp said:
Oh well, so much for humor. 😦
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OK, rpp, I’m game. 🙂 But, what kind of humor do you like best? Literary, slapstick, parody, ________ (something else: fill in the blank).

At least give me a hint so that I can know which direction to start walking. 😃
 
What do you need to inspire your humor for? I think your pretty quick with a comeback.;)😊
 
At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with, “In accordance with the prophecy.”

Don’t use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
**
Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.**

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!!!”

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they’re loose!"

Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

Okay, I really want to do the whole net and jungle theme right now because I am a sixth grade teacher, 7 weeks until school ends and they move onto Jr. High. They are “animals!” Problem is that I would probably look out from the net and start laughing uncontrollably because I would get it and they wouldn’t. 33 more days to go and save me from “spring fever.”

Of course, every day I could run from my room yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!” and I’ve got the “well-behaved” class. 😃

Thanks for the laughs.
 
Morwenna said:
OK, rpp, I’m game. 🙂 But, what kind of humor do you like best? Literary, slapstick, parody, ________ (something else: fill in the blank).

At least give me a hint so that I can know which direction to start walking. 😃
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Ask for some advice. 😉
 
Morwenna said:
OK, rpp, I’m game. 🙂 But, what kind of humor do you like best? Literary, slapstick, parody, ________ (something else: fill in the blank).

At least give me a hint so that I can know which direction to start walking. 😃
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rpp said:
Ask for some advice. 😉
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:hmmm:

OK, it’s been a long day, so go easy on me. 😉 Does “ask for some advice” refer to:
  • A silly thread asking for advice that I posted earlier tonight?
  • Some reference to post #29 (a reference that goes completely over my head)?
  • You setting me up as the straight (wo)man for a punchline?
Or what? 😛
 
allhers said:
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with, “In accordance with the prophecy.”

Don’t use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!!!”

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”

Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
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Ok, I don’t know about rpp, but you had me laughing out loud.

Rpp thanks for starting this thread. I didn’t know I needed it!
 
When I was in college, I adopted a stray cat with some unique personality characteristics. She liked to carry things in her mouth.

One night, after along day of attending classes and working, I did my laundry at the laundromat. It was after eleven when I got home and I was exhausted, so I just left the laundry in the car with the windows rolled down.

The next morning I looked out the kitchen window and saw a pair of panties laying in the neighbors yard. 😊 I thought… well all sorts of weird things ran through my mind until it registered in my mind that I had a pair of panties just like those. :eek:

I started out the front door to my car where I had left my laundry the night before. I turned around real quick and ran back inside.😊 My socks and panties were strewn in the neighbors yards up and down my street. 😊 My cat was traipsing down the middle of the street with one of my socks in her mouth.:bigyikes:

I peeked out the window to make sure that no one was out side, then dashed around the neighborhood as fast as I could, picking up my undergarments as I went.😊

None of my neighbors said anything, so I guess no one saw me.👍

I learned a very important lesson that night.😃 No matter how tired you are, don’t leave your laundry in the car.
 
Morwenna said:
:hmmm:

OK, it’s been a long day, so go easy on me. 😉 Does “ask for some advice” refer to:
  • A silly thread asking for advice that I posted earlier tonight?
  • Some reference to post #29 (a reference that goes completely over my head)?
  • You setting me up as the straight (wo)man for a punchline?
Or what? 😛
Click to expand...
You cut me to the quick! How could you think I could set you up? I could never set you up. (Sometimes I wish someone would set me up :cool: , but that is a different topic entirely.)

As for post #29, I had nothing at all to do with that and you cannot prove I did! 😛 I will add, being a cat lover, I think what was done to that dog was done by a cat. It is nothing more than simple justice for cats! That or the poor fellow has a real identity crisis. I just hope for the doggie’s sake that he is a male dog or (s)he has some real problems!!
 
Galnextdoor said:
When I was in college, I adopted a stray cat with some unique personality characteristics. She liked to carry things in her mouth.

One night, after along day of attending classes and working, I did my laundry at the laundromat. It was after eleven when I got home and I was exhausted, so I just left the laundry in the car with the windows rolled down.

The next morning I looked out the kitchen window and saw a pair of panties laying in the neighbors yard. I thought… well all sorts of weird things ran through my mind until it registered in my mind that I had a pair of panties just like those. :eek:

I started out the front door to my car where I had left my laundry the night before. I turned around real quick and ran back inside.😊 My socks and panties were strewn in the neighbors yards up and down my street. 😊 My cat was traipsing down the middle of the street with one of my socks in her mouth.:bigyikes:

I peeked out the window to make sure that no one was out side, then dashed around the neighborhood as fast as I could, picking up my undergarments as I went.😊

None of my neighbors said anything, so I guess no one saw me.

I learned a very important lesson that night. No matter how tired you are, don’t leave your laundry in the car.
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
I am laughing so hard I can hardly breathe.
 
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