You’re right…it’s not a pretty picture.
That’s why I’ve actually chosen the path of healing. I’ve done a lot of work on the father issues, the mother issues, am working on the peer issues, but I’m kinda stuck on God. That being the philosophical question: how can one trust someone who would sit by and watch while others harmed you and, having the power to send encouragement or some means of help, do nothing? That’s the problem I have with regard to God right now. I accept that it’s happened (I can do no other, after all, I can’t travel back in time without messing up the space-time continuum…unless the multiverse theory is true, but I’m from this universe…anyway, I digress), but I wish I knew I was subjected tot his.
I’ve lost most sexual interest in men and have found my eye is drawn to legs, faces and hair on women. I still have a lot of issues to overcome when it comes to women, i.e., trust as well as my own body shame issues (I’m also obese.

) as well as the notion that sex is dirty and demeaning to women (yes, that’s the message I got when I was a young Christian).