So, you left Islam, you found a single man (who is a jobless, drug user - makes one wonder how he pays for drugs with no job) and you feel he is the ONLY chance you have for marriage.not looking for a job, consuming dangerous substances etc. people are what they DO, not what they SAY. You know who a person is by their actions.
Lots of times we give God credit/blame for simply natural things. We date someone, we commit sexual sins with them, we develop natural chemical bonds (another thing that tells us why sexual acts are reserved for marriage, we get bonded to people in the wrong way. Oxytocin: The Love and Trust Hormone Can Be Deceptive | Psychology Today)One question though. If he wasn’t the one, why on earth did God intertwine us so badly we only have one another and have gone through all these journeys together?
Once in Scripture did God call someone to do “missionary dating”. The prophet Hosea was commanded to marry a prostitute to demonstrate God’s love.Was i supposed to “use” him to be lead to christ, and then kick him to the curb?
It is the Holy Spirit, not people, who lead us to God. We people are told to do good works to show people how good our Heavenly Father is.he was the one who lead me out of every heresy.
We cannot see the future this way. The Holy Spirit can work through people, heck once God spoke through the voice of a donkey!it’s a fact that had i left him, i would not have been catholic today.
Mortifications are something we only take on with the guidance of a solid spiritual director (aside from small mortification, like eating cold bread for breakfast when we want it hot and buttery or giving up chocolates for Lent).i’ve already commented about therapists here, perhaps you havent got to that post yet, thats fine. but i have a problem with therapists. one of the problems being that they immediately suggest getting rid of the guy, everything is toxic for them, mortification is toxic for them, charity also. Anything founded in christ’s truth that involves giving up of yourself, suffering for god or another person, they will consider problematic
he is not a drug user! Stop guys with this misconstruing of what i said, i said he has some issues with his health, eats unhealthy, smokes alot of tobacco etc, and is currently unemployed, i’m not saying he is a bum nor addicted to any drugs! Don’t take it to the extreme here.drug user
i never said he is. i just dont want anyone else, we fit together like a glove, and have been through hell together, and survived it, he has done plenty for me, don’t misunderstand, please. That he is unemployed doesn’t mean automatically he is not fit to be a father or a husband. There are many factors involved as to why that happened. He has had jobs before, and has good merits. Please read carefully the previous posts before you spew out such severe judgements on us both.he is the ONLY chance you have for marriage
we didn’t bond merely on sex. Sex was one factor, now that we are not having sex, for God’s will, we are still bonding. I’m not gonna continue reading your post, you clearly have got it all wrong about us.we get bonded to people in the wrong way
i had prayed for a husband and 3 months later god gave me one, who also converted me into christianity, so don’t say we weren’t on the same page.seems you & God aren’t on the same page as to which man is to be your husband.
There are first of all no other men i’ve met, because i’ve had to live in isolation due to apostasy violence. Second, having experience in dating is not wasting time, it’s learning how to choose the right partner, and if it takes a couple of failures, then so be it. Not all people are naturally prudent, or have natural knowledge of the self. Some of us were extremely sheltered and lived under severe perfectionist parents who controlled our every move. That’s not a way to mature, even women have to learn to think for themselves/make a good judgement for the better of their souls. As a muslim, I did not know the will of the Lord, it’s only natural I made wrong decisions, so it’s only now recently that I’ve learnt what God’s will is. So cut me some slack, you and some of the others who have commented here now. I haven’t wasted time that was spent on my salvation, which this man lead me to, actively, for 3 years. Don’t twist things. I have experience with men prior to him, i had 2 bfs before him, as a moderate muslim, and i knew then they were wrong, from the start, and also ended it when i saw no way out. With this guy, miraculous and wonderful things have happened for my soul, constantly, so it’s pretty logical to be certain in your heart that he is the one, especially when i have prayed for years on if he is the one, and God keeps doing something that brings us closer, through affection, communication, understanding or the faith.every moment spent with, and even just thinking about, this wrong guy.
Because our circumstances involved that my life was in danger, i had to make huge changes to everything that was my life, abandon my own family and other traumatic things that require big rearrangements. Move cities, abandon belongings, poverty, homelessness. It was rough, whilst converting and then converting again, it wasn’t exactly a circumstance ripe for a wedding to take place, and not only that, we hadn’t yet recieved the insight from the catholic faith that marriage was necessary. Prior to that, we went along with the protestant faulty belief that marriage was not necessary for two people to be considered married, but rather sex united two people into one flesh and they would automatically be considered married. There was also another faulty belief, that we didn’t need to marry, nor soon. Many wrong ideas, we also didn’t believe at the time, again due to faulty beliefs, that sex before marriage/childbearing before marriage was even wrong. Many things were out of place, God had not yet brought us to the full truth. It took a couple of years for me to even get on my feet, and he was at the time in bad mental health, and obviously due to my crisises, so was I. There was focus on survival and recovery. We knew and were determined from the start that we wanted to spend the rest of our life together. Now recently, we have entered our catechumens. I’ve already mentioned some of this in previous posts, that’s why it’s important you read the whole post if you’re gonna comment.f God gave you a husband 3 months after you began praying for one, then how is it you’re not married and posting here that the man you’re with isn’t ready for marriage?
When we met, we were both in the bottom of the barrel, I had many issues, so did he. We didn’t see it as a reason to break up. We thought we’d grow together, alongside eachother. He has changed in many many ways, internally, his character, on this journey. He is lacking the courage to take the responsibilities of fatherhood and marriage for his own personal issues from his past–childhood trauma and other things that causes that fear and a complete misunderstanding of who he considers himself to be and what he considers himself capable of doing. So he’s been struggling with taking some steps, however he has reached out to professionals. Lately we realized medical help might not be his way to go, but rather his spiritual growth/relationship with God who can heal and repair all things. He has therefore begun his catechumens. He is still enrolled, he still attends his lectures, but he is, as said, struggling, and I had an issue (the point of this post) with my aging and fertility, and whether i should wait or not. Clearly, many questions need to be asked, which I have already recieved by other commenters, to make a sound judgement.the man you’re with isn’t ready for marriage?
I’ve been convinced up to this point of this because the things God wants in a man, he does fullfill many of the criterias, except that he does not yet have a job. That doesn’t mean he will never get a job, that’s the thing, considering he’s had one before. It means he has struggles, and I and the parishioners have thought that perhaps if he keeps going with his catechumens and opens up to the priest when he’s ready, he might recieve some clear guidance towards the fullfillment of his marriage vocation, how to gain the courage to get and keep a job, and not live in this constant fear that he perhaps will not be enough for me/a family.How can you know 100% if this man you want to marry really is God’s Will for you vs just your will?