+JMJ+
Despite the constant cancer of the soul and mind this sin has become, i still have hope. Its just as someone said, Anything is possible through God and i feel like im finally starting to get an understanding of things that will allow me to make real progress for the first time EVER!
There was a family of immigrants on a ship from Europe to America. They were so poor that they had to spend almost all their money on the ticket, and what they had left over for food was only enough to buy bread and cheese. So for the first couple of days all they ate was cheese sandwiches. Then the little boy said to his father, “Daddy, please, can I have money for an ice cream cone, just this once? I hate cheese sandwiches!” His father said, “We have almost no money left. And cheese sandwiches will keep you alive till we get to New York. Once we’re there, there are golden streets and everybody’s rich.” The boy wouldn’t stop asking, so his father finally gave him some change for an ice cream cone and waited. The boy didn’t come back for two hours. His father was getting worried when the boy finally came back with a fat tummy and a smile on his face. “Did you get your ice cream cone?” “Oh, sure, Dad. And then another one, and then a steak, and then apple pie.” “What? You bought all that with the money I gave you?” “Oh, no, Dad. It’s free. It comes with the ticket!”
What is the point of this story? You act and talk as if the power of God to give you joy and power is still beyond your grasp, as if either you have to strive for it or wait for it from God. Well, no: you really have it already, you just not know it yet.
Do you know that the Holy Spirit is the Gift of God given to us during Baptism? This is of course one fact that is very obvious. But do you know what that entails? Consider St Thomas Aquinas’ words: “Gift, taken personally in God, is the proper name of the Holy Ghost. In proof of this we must know that a gift is properly an unreturnable giving, as Aristotle says (Topic. iv, 4)–i.e. a thing which is not given with the intention of a return–and it thus contains the idea of a gratuitous donation.” (
ST, I, Q38, A2). The Holy Spirit is, like all gifts, the Gift of God that that is not meant to be returned, He is something that we have to use and enjoy or be thrown away. To not use Him is to throw Him away, like the ticket after the European family’s cruise upon reaching the Americas if they had not known the free meal.
Use God? In the same article, St. Thomas says: “the Holy Ghost can be called the spirit of a man.” Now this was from an objection, but in the reply, St. Thomas did not dispute the assertion, but just qualifies it as a gift of God. The Holy Spirit is meant to be OUR Spirit, the “Soul of my soul.” He is meant to be the Source of all of our spiritual strength. Now do you understand why St. Paul said: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Tim 1:7)?
Use and enjoy God? Again, from St. Thomas, with my emphases:
Again, we are said to possess only what we can freely use or enjoy: and to have the power of enjoying the divine person can only be according to sanctifying grace.
And yet the Holy Ghost is possessed by man, and dwells within him, in the very gift itself of sanctifying grace. Hence the Holy Ghost Himself is given and sent.
Reply to Objection 1. By the gift of sanctifying grace the rational creature is perfected so that
it can freely use not only the created gift itself, but enjoy also the divine person Himself; and so the invisible mission takes place according to the gift of sanctifying grace; and yet the divine person Himself is given. (
ST I, Q43, A3)
God
wants to be used by us. Oh how much so! Don’t you see, THIS is the Joy of God, that He be used by us for His glory! Oh ineffable humility of God!
Now do you see why trials come when we ask strength from God? In absolute confidence, I can now see that what Fr. Corapi said, that in asking God for virtue, He will give us trials to develop it, is ABSOLUTELY WRONG. On the contrary, I can now see, in theory AND in my life, that God gives us trials when we ask for virtues like chastity, patience, and the like because He already answered our prayers: in asking for virtue, He already gave us virtue
by giving Himself to us. He wants to be used, He wants His Power to be used, wielded, enjoyed by us, and thus He gives us opportunities to use Him: trials and temptations. That is why the Bible said: “The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name” (Acts 5:41). The apostles were rejoicing because they found they were made worthy of using the Holy Spirit Himself to handle the persecution given to them.
Therefore, from your own temptations and trials in life comes the
joy of using and enjoying God, and experiencing God’s Joy of being used.
Yes, the very addiction you are asking to have God help you get out of should be your source of joy!
Jesus said to them in reply, “Amen, I say to you, if you have faith and do not waver, not only will you do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ it will be done. Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive.” Matthew 21:21-22
