Help me understand this

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Ford Dad,

I don’t believe anything has been said about her education, and why you think a master’s degree will help her situation.

You did say she has a bachelor’s in education, correct? And that she is non credentialed, correct? Does that mean she went to college to become a teacher? She can’t get a job because she does not have a teaching license? A master’s degree won’t help her with that. She would need to complete the required testing.

Even if the situation is not as I described above, it seems like she really hasn’t finished her bachelor’s degree in some way. If she has, then why couldn’t she get a job with her bachelor’s degree? Many people are employed without a masters.
 
HouseArrest said:
Ford Dad,

I don’t believe anything has been said about her education, and why you think a master’s degree will help her situation.

You did say she has a bachelor’s in education, correct? And that she is non credentialed, correct? Does that mean she went to college to become a teacher? She can’t get a job because she does not have a teaching license? A master’s degree won’t help her with that. She would need to complete the required testing.

Even if the situation is not as I described above, it seems like she really hasn’t finished her bachelor’s degree in some way. If she has, then why couldn’t she get a job with her bachelor’s degree? Many people are employed without a masters.
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It is very possible that she may not want to work and prefers being home with her children instead. I have a degree, my husband does not. I do not work even though I would make more money than my husband does simply because I have always wanted to be a housewife. I never wanted to work like my mom did. Being home with my kids means so much more than any job ever would. It isn’t wasting our potential or wasting our degree as posters here and people all over the real world have said. It is living our vocation despite what other people believe to be better for us and our families.

No, I do not think working moms are not good moms. Many moms work and are terrific mothers. But staying home is a legitimate choice and it is never wrong for a mom to love being with her children despite financial hardship.
 
holyrood said:
Intentionally??? You do not know that.
It has been said repeatedly and you have not addressed:

I’ll say it again: I know people who have become pregnant three or four times on artificial birth control and NFP both. I have become pregnant using NFP when it should have been physically impossible. Twins, no less.

Please tell us your suggestion. *Maybe *this woman *is *already using NFP and cutting it down to relations once per month in what should have been the impossible time to get pregnant, and has anyway.

Do you want her to:

A. Abort.
B. Stop having any sex at all with her husband.

I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s immoral at all. A childless person has much more time and ability to go to school and get a job, or improve their job condition.

As Catholic Raven wisely pointed out, whether a woman has one child or four, being a mother takes a great deal of time and energy. Doing a good job raising a healthy and moral next generation IS a job. It should be the most important job there is.

And once again: I think this couple would have had financial problems with zero children.

Funny story–My (now ex) husband and I were raising 9 children on 1-1/2 incomes. My sister and her husband had two full time incomes (hers quite good, as she was in a profession) plus his income from a side job. They had one baby on the way. ONE. Not even there yet. My mother was forever sighing about how hard life is for young couples, and how financially difficult it was for them. How she had to give free day care when the baby came because they just ‘couldn’t afford it.’

Just making the point, financial problems and other people’s perceptions of financial problems are very often not based on number of children at all, even though that’s often blamed.
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It is VERY anti Catholic to not see a problem with childless people not being eligible to receive assistance while a non working parent does. Anyone can improve their position in life, including parents. This woman could get a job and work while her husband watches the kids. Most women work, and many work weekend/evening jobs. She could be attending school. Sorry but having kids doesn’t make someone better. In fact a childless person is better than someone using assistance because they are using less services while paying more in taxes. Meanwhile I know many childless people who struggle and try to better themselves but for many reasons struggle. I’d rather support a childless person who works and is bettering themselves than someone who doesn’t. My aunt should have been able to get assistance over some welfare moocher. My aunt did try to better herself and she worked but she got sick.

Yes all mothers work hard, that’s why so many spend hours online complaining about their “hard job”. Please. Babies are hard work, sure but I know plenty of couples were both work and they are raising kids, babies even and they manage to do so. Most of the stay at home moms I know are lazy and just don’t want to work but going by this bizarre logic, they work harder than me, even though I cook and clean for myself and they don’t. In fact most of the sahm I know don’t cook that much or even clean (and have sloppy houses). Their kids are in school so there is no excuse for them to take an hour out of each day to cook a meal and clean their messes.
 
TeachCatechism said:
It is VERY anti Catholic to not see a problem with childless people not being eligible to receive assistance while a non working parent does. Anyone can improve their position in life, including parents. This woman could get a job and work while her husband watches the kids. Most women work, and many work weekend/evening jobs. She could be attending school. Sorry but having kids doesn’t make someone better. In fact a childless person is better than someone using assistance because they are using less services while paying more in taxes. Meanwhile I know many childless people who struggle and try to better themselves but for many reasons struggle. I’d rather support a childless person who works and is bettering themselves than someone who doesn’t. My aunt should have been able to get assistance over some welfare moocher. My aunt did try to better herself and she worked but she got sick.

Yes all mothers work hard, that’s why so many spend hours online complaining about their “hard job”. Please. Babies are hard work, sure but I know plenty of couples were both work and they are raising kids, babies even and they manage to do so. Most of the stay at home moms I know are lazy and just don’t want to work but going by this bizarre logic, they work harder than me, even though I cook and clean for myself and they don’t. In fact most of the sahm I know don’t cook that much or even clean (and have sloppy houses). Their kids are in school so there is no excuse for them to take an hour out of each day to cook a meal and clean their messes.
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I cannot even address this post as in depth as it needs to be. I will leave that for others that will do a much better job than I can.

All of the things you are accusing people with children of being “guilty” of is all in your own warped way of thinking. Say whatever you like to make yourself feel better. It doesn’t make what you are saying true, moral or Catholic.

You do not really answer anything posed to you, you merely repeat your warped and selfish, envious emotions.
 
TeachCatechism said:
It is VERY anti Catholic to not see a problem with childless people not being eligible to receive assistance while a non working parent does. Anyone can improve their position in life, including parents. This woman could get a job and work while her husband watches the kids. Most women work, and many work weekend/evening jobs. She could be attending school. Sorry but having kids doesn’t make someone better. In fact a childless person is better than someone using assistance because they are using less services while paying more in taxes. Meanwhile I know many childless people who struggle and try to better themselves but for many reasons struggle. I’d rather support a childless person who works and is bettering themselves than someone who doesn’t. My aunt should have been able to get assistance over some welfare moocher. My aunt did try to better herself and she worked but she got sick.

Yes all mothers work hard, that’s why so many spend hours online complaining about their “hard job”. Please. Babies are hard work, sure but I know plenty of couples were both work and they are raising kids, babies even and they manage to do so. Most of the stay at home moms I know are lazy and just don’t want to work but going by this bizarre logic, they work harder than me, even though I cook and clean for myself and they don’t. In fact most of the sahm I know don’t cook that much or even clean (and have sloppy houses). Their kids are in school so there is no excuse for them to take an hour out of each day to cook a meal and clean their messes.
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Ma’am, I invite you to spend a week in the life of any stay at home mom, whether she has babies, school age, homeschools, or a mixture of all and then repeat this same statement. Honestly I don’t know any mom of more than two kids that does not cook at least two meals a day, who doesn’t spend way more than one hour cleaning, and still has to do all the errands, pay all the bills, do yard work, carpool, and everything else. I am busier as a stay at home mom than I ever was as a working mom, mainly because people think, “Oh, she’s home all day. She can help with this!” Yes our houses tend to be messier than other homes. You know why? They are actually lived in and not treated as a museum or a show piece. And yes, I was a working mom until #4 was born. I soon realized having it all is a fantasy that was not for me. I could truly have it all by living with less but surrounded by love.

I’m sorry you are so miserable in life but that does not give you the right to spit hateful comments at people that have done you no harm. Oh yeah, I remember! We are all responsible for stealing your tax money and so we have hurt you. We are responsible for every unfair occur acne in your life, even when we have suffered the same unfair things or at least very similar things in ours as well.

By the way, I pay taxes too. And those taxes go to pay for schools here in my area that my kids will never attend. I’m paying for all those people to send their kids to school tax free, and I do not mind one bit.
 
7armyrugrats said:
It is very possible that she may not want to work and prefers being home with her children instead. I have a degree, my husband does not. I do not work even though I would make more money than my husband does simply because I have always wanted to be a housewife. I never wanted to work like my mom did. Being home with my kids means so much more than any job ever would. It isn’t wasting our potential or wasting our degree as posters here and people all over the real world have said. It is living our vocation despite what other people believe to be better for us and our families.

No, I do not think working moms are not good moms. Many moms work and are terrific mothers. But staying home is a legitimate choice and it is never wrong for a mom to love being with her children despite financial hardship.
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Right - I agree with that - but in the initial post, the Dad suggested he put his daughter through a masters degree to solve her financial problems by eventually going to work. I am wondering why he thinks this is a good idea, and why if the answer to their problems is for her to go to work, why she can’t do that now.
 
7armyrugrats said:
Ma’am, I invite you to spend a week in the life of any stay at home mom, whether she has babies, school age, homeschools, or a mixture of all and then repeat this same statement. Honestly I don’t know any mom of more than two kids that does not cook at least two meals a day, who doesn’t spend way more than one hour cleaning, and still has to do all the errands, pay all the bills, do yard work, carpool, and everything else. I am busier as a stay at home mom than I ever was as a working mom, mainly because people think, “Oh, she’s home all day. She can help with this!” Yes our houses tend to be messier than other homes. You know why? They are actually lived in and not treated as a museum or a show piece. And yes, I was a working mom until #4 was born. I soon realized having it all is a fantasy that was not for me. I could truly have it all by living with less but surrounded by love.

I’m sorry you are so miserable in life but that does not give you the right to spit hateful comments at people that have done you no harm. Oh yeah, I remember! We are all responsible for stealing your tax money and so we have hurt you. We are responsible for every unfair occur acne in your life, even when we have suffered the same unfair things or at least very similar things in ours as well.

By the way, I pay taxes too. And those taxes go to pay for schools here in my area that my kids will never attend. I’m paying for all those people to send their kids to school tax free, and I do not mind one bit.
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Yep I have been around sahm and most did not work hard. Having babies is something even animals do so nope moms aren’t any more special than anyone else. I actually think working moms work the hardest because many work a full time job then come home. Oh and I’m far from jealous of stay at home moms. In fact I feel sorry for them because so many never aspired to more. Unlike them I got an education and a degree and a professional job so if I was to get married and my husband left me I would support myself. Most of the sahm I know are trapped in miserable situations, including one who has a cheating husband. If one is a sahm there is no excuse to have a sloppy home or cook. After all, I work full time yet manage to keep my house clean and cook as do most working people I know.
 
TeachCatechism said:
Yep I have been around sahm and most did not work hard. Having babies is something even animals do so nope moms aren’t any more special than anyone else. I actually think working moms work the hardest because many work a full time job then come home. Oh and I’m far from jealous of stay at home moms. In fact I feel sorry for them because so many never aspired to more. Unlike them I got an education and a degree and a professional job so if I was to get married and my husband left me I would support myself. Most of the sahm I know are trapped in miserable situations, including one who has a cheating husband. If one is a sahm there is no excuse to have a sloppy home or cook. After all, I work full time yet manage to keep my house clean and cook as do most working people I know.
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You really need to run in better circles. My goodness how depressing.
 
TeachCatechism said:
Yep I have been around sahm and most did not work hard. Having babies is something even animals do so nope moms aren’t any more special than anyone else. I actually think working moms work the hardest because many work a full time job then come home. Oh and I’m far from jealous of stay at home moms. In fact I feel sorry for them because so many never aspired to more. Unlike them I got an education and a degree and a professional job so if I was to get married and my husband left me I would support myself. Most of the sahm I know are trapped in miserable situations, including one who has a cheating husband. If one is a sahm there is no excuse to have a sloppy home or cook. After all, I work full time yet manage to keep my house clean and cook as do most working people I know.
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I assure you we DO cook. No one, even the upper middle class, can afford to NOT cook. Especially with a family to support. And of course you can keep a spotless house, it is only you in it, and you are gone all day to work. How is your house going to get messy or dirty? I notice the difference at my home. When I was working and kids were at daycare all day, the housework was almost nonexistent compared to now. No one was there to make the house a disaster area. And why, if you have a degree and profession, would you have had to apply for government insurance as you stated earlier? Nothing you are saying is making sense.

I DO have a degree. I have worked in my field, and no, it’s not something that is worth being away from my kids for. My kids are only little once and I don’t intend to miss it. No amount of money in the world is worth that. If I had no option I would work. But I do have the option and this is what I choose. No need to feel sorry for any mom I know. The majority of us choose exactly what we want and are far from trapped into a life we despise.

Nothing at all wrong with being a working mom. Nothing at all wrong with remaining single. Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. And there is nothing wrong with being a house wife either. There is joy to be found in all these lives. It’s so unfortunate that you are determined to stay miserable instead. Please talk to your priest or a counselor. This resentment and anger is not good for you.
 
TeachCatechism said:
Yep I have been around sahm and most did not work hard. Having babies is something even animals do so nope moms aren’t any more special than anyone else. I actually think working moms work the hardest because many work a full time job then come home. Oh and I’m far from jealous of stay at home moms. In fact I feel sorry for them because so many never aspired to more. Unlike them I got an education and a degree and a professional job so if I was to get married and my husband left me I would support myself. Most of the sahm I know are trapped in miserable situations, including one who has a cheating husband. If one is a sahm there is no excuse to have a sloppy home or cook. After all, I work full time yet manage to keep my house clean and cook as do most working people I know.
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And yet, you are still pining about finding “the one.”:rolleyes:
 
TeachCatechism said:
Yep I have been around sahm and most did not work hard. Having babies is something even animals do so nope moms aren’t any more special than anyone else. I actually think working moms work the hardest because many work a full time job then come home. Oh and I’m far from jealous of stay at home moms. In fact I feel sorry for them because so many never aspired to more. Unlike them I got an education and a degree and a professional job so if I was to get married and my husband left me I would support myself. Most of the sahm I know are trapped in miserable situations, including one who has a cheating husband. If one is a sahm there is no excuse to have a sloppy home or cook. After all, I work full time yet manage to keep my house clean and cook as do most working people I know.
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Nope women having babies is not the same as animals having babies. Yep stay at home moms are deserving of respect for their vocation.

Something to consider, The Blessed Virgin Mary (unless the Bible says otherwise) was a stay at home mom.
 
Irishmom2 said:
And yet, you are still pining about finding “the one.”:rolleyes:
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What does that have to do with anything? No, I don’t expect a man to support me I support myself. I expect both of to work and cook and clean.
 
7armyrugrats said:
I assure you we DO cook. No one, even the upper middle class, can afford to NOT cook. Especially with a family to support. And of course you can keep a spotless house, it is only you in it, and you are gone all day to work. How is your house going to get messy or dirty? I notice the difference at my home. When I was working and kids were at daycare all day, the housework was almost nonexistent compared to now. No one was there to make the house a disaster area. And why, if you have a degree and profession, would you have had to apply for government insurance as you stated earlier? Nothing you are saying is making sense.

I DO have a degree. I have worked in my field, and no, it’s not something that is worth being away from my kids for. My kids are only little once and I don’t intend to miss it. No amount of money in the world is worth that. If I had no option I would work. But I do have the option and this is what I choose. No need to feel sorry for any mom I know. The majority of us choose exactly what we want and are far from trapped into a life we despise.

Nothing at all wrong with being a working mom. Nothing at all wrong with remaining single. Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. And there is nothing wrong with being a house wife either. There is joy to be found in all these lives. It’s so unfortunate that you are determined to stay miserable instead. Please talk to your priest or a counselor. This resentment and anger is not good for you.
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I applied for assistance years ago when I lost my job and was sick. There is nothing wrong with being a mom or not, but if someone is home all day there is no excuse to have a sloppy home. Instead of being on the internet for hours as many sahm are, they could be spending that time cleaning. I know that’s what I would do as a messy house is disgusting. I’m not miserable, I just refuse to put sahm on a higher pedestal and think they all work hard when so many don’t.
 
If moms spend more time cleaning and cooking and all the things they supposedly never do, or at least don’t do often enough, when are they supposed to RAISE THEIR CHILDREN???

You can say they spend all their time on the internet, but do you honestly believe that they are on the internet during a time that their kids need attention? I’m sure some do, but not the majority as you state. You say they are upper middle class women. If that is true than why don’t they pay for help? Why would they be trapped in a bad marriage? Most upper class women I have met do have degrees because the met their husband in college. Most men with degrees and professions don’t marry women without education.

This is going no where. I’m done. Heading to Adoration for an hour and giving all this to Jesus.

And just to be clear–my older kids are with big brother this weekend visiting him. All will be home tomorrow for Palm Sunday. I’m so excited my big boy will be home until after Easter! It will be so nice having all the kids together again. My husband is away at training so it is just me and the baby at home until tomorrow. My house is clean, no dishes to wash, no laundry to put away, and for once I get to spend a day relaxing. No, I usually don’t get to be on the internet, sometimes for weeks at a time. Sometimes for a few minutes here or there. Just letting everyone know I haven’t been neglecting my litter of puppies all day in my messy disgusting house. Some of us lazy stay at home moms actually do think raising good citizens is important.
 
TeachCatechism said:
I applied for assistance years ago when I lost my job and was sick. There is nothing wrong with being a mom or not, but if someone is home all day there is no excuse to have a sloppy home. Instead of being on the internet for hours as many sahm are, they could be spending that time cleaning. I know that’s what I would do as a messy house is disgusting. I’m not miserable, I just refuse to put sahm on a higher pedestal and think they all work hard when so many don’t.
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TeachCatechism, I’m giving you a big hug right now. And if we were neighbors or went to the same parish, I’d love to stop for a minute and chat. Or have a cup of coffee with you. These threads can be so sticky, and sometimes it’s easy to get lost in them. That’s the bad thing about the internet. :hug3:
 
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