Help! My Boyfriend Doubts His Faith

[Sara_Balzano]

Okay, here’s an update.

I decided to pray the Rosary with him. Generally, I pray it in Latin, but with I did it in our native tongue, Maltese. Sure enough, he was completely lost. He also had no ideal what to recite when we reached the first decade. I’m so dissapointed in the fact that he lied to me that I’ considering dumping him.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Okay, here’s an update.

I decided to pray the Rosary with him. Generally, I pray it in Latin, but with I did it in our native tongue, Maltese. Sure enough, he was completely lost. He also had no ideal what to recite when we reached the first decade. I’m so dissapointed in the fact that he lied to me that I’ considering dumping him.

yes, break up with him. Why would you continue?

 

[Joshua_Shorter]

Okay, here’s an update.

I decided to pray the Rosary with him. Generally, I pray it in Latin, but with I did it in our native tongue, Maltese. Sure enough, he was completely lost. He also had no ideal what to recite when we reached the first decade. I’m so dissapointed in the fact that he lied to me that I’ considering dumping him.

I’m so sorry for your struggles. I will pray for you as you make this decision.

 

[He_Man]

my mom is roman catholic my dad is presbiterian and I was raised on good values.

Anecdotal, and never ideal. Even the Church will tell you this. Can it work? Sure. Anything is possible. I can drink gasoline and not die, but my chances are always higher if I don’t suck on the pump. at Shell.

The bible talks about the problems with not being equally yoked.
*
2 Cr 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?*

This applies to marriage, friendships, and business. Ideally, we surround ourselves with people who build us up.

Think of it this way - if I am an A in terms of my Catholic faith, and my spouse is a C, we average out at the end of the day to a solid B. Which means my spouse got lifted up, and I was brought down.

Reading her latest post, it appears he is somewhat lax in his faith, and also deceitful with the woman he purports to care about.

 

[Sara_Balzano]

I’m torn right now. A voice in the back of my head is telling me to dump him, but I really like him. However, I feel he has betrayed me with his lying. What should I do?

And how should I counter his argument of Catholicism being nothing more than a part of his “Maltese identity”? I hate to admit it, but I actually agree with him there, since I believe Malta and her unique identity would cease to exist without the Catholic Church.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

So, you like him. He lied to you about being a practicing Catholic. That’s a pretty important thing to lie to someone about. He’s “culturally Catholic.” That means his faith isn’t a part of his individual life. Do you want your faith to be a big part of your life, and the life of your family? Then don’t look to a person like this man.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I’m torn right now. A voice in the back of my head is telling me to dump him, but I really like him. However, I feel he has betrayed me with his lying. What should I do?

And how should I counter his argument of Catholicism being nothing more than a part of his “Maltese identity”? I hate to admit it, but I actually agree with him there, since I believe Malta and her unique identity would cease to exist without the Catholic Church.

He lied to stay out of an argument. It would have been best if he was totally honest, and not about just that, about everything. You are old enough to be discerning marriage and having a partner not willing to share what’s going on with him is very concerning.

And how should I counter his argument of Catholicism being nothing more than a part of his “Maltese identity”? There’s no counter argument. We all are free to choose if we want to be Catholic or not. It’s up to you what you want to do with the information.

I grew up in a non-believing household. God wasn’t in the equation and one parent was alcoholic. God in his mercy (and the prayers of Catholics asking for the conversion of sinners) plugged me into the power of God. I came into the Church and the sacraments. I married a practicing Catholic man, my St. Joseph. I wish I could tell everyone that the 2 households are polar opposites. One was darkness and hopelessness, the other full of light and God’s presence. A Catholic man will honor his marriage, his commitments, his wife and family. When hard times come, he’ll be on his knees before the throne of God. He’ll bring blessing into his marriage, his family, his neighborhood and workplace. He’ll honor and cherish you all the days of his life, because he’s plugged into the power of God. Difficult situations can turn around because he’s a man of God.

Don’t settle for less than that. Together with a believing Catholic man, you can have a wonderful life together and *come together *holding hands when you come before God to give an account for your life. Strive to come into what God has prepared for you and trust in His love and goodness. Time to leave behind what you knew when you were 10, time to come into His fullness as an adult daughter of God. Come into His blessing!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

He lied to stay out of an argument. It would have been best if he was totally honest, and not about just that, about everything. You are old enough to be discerning marriage and having a partner not willing to share what’s going on with him is very concerning.

And how should I counter his argument of Catholicism being nothing more than a part of his “Maltese identity”? There’s no counter argument. We all are free to choose if we want to be Catholic or not. It’s up to you what you want to do with the information.

I grew up in a non-believing household. God wasn’t in the equation and one parent was alcoholic. God in his mercy (and the prayers of Catholics asking for the conversion of sinners) plugged me into the power of God. I came into the Church and the sacraments. I married a practicing Catholic man, my St. Joseph.** I wish I could tell everyone that the 2 households are polar opposites. One was darkness and hopelessness, the other full of light and God’s presence. A Catholic man will honor his marriage, his commitments, his wife and family. When hard times come, he’ll be on his knees before the throne of God. He’ll bring blessing into his marriage, his family, his neighborhood and workplace. He’ll honor and cherish you all the days of his life, because he’s plugged into the power of God. Difficult situations can turn around because he’s a man of God.
**
Don’t settle for less than that. Together with a believing Catholic man, you can have a wonderful life together and *come together *holding hands when you come before God to give an account for your life. Strive to come into what God has prepared for you and trust in His love and goodness. Time to leave behind what you knew when you were 10, time to come into His fullness as an adult daughter of God. Come into His blessing!

You just did. Wonderful testimony! God bless your Godly husband, your St. Joseph!

 

[Sara_Balzano]

Ugh! The news gets even worse.

I decided to take my boyfriend to Mosta to celebrate Good Friday. On the way, we got into a theological discussion of the Passion of the Lord. As pretty as the Good Friday procession is, there is a much deeper and beautiful meanin behind it, and I wanted him to realise that.

He unfortunately seemed lost during the discussion. I was concerned, knowing that he had told that he had read the Gospels. However, he eventually confessed and admitted to lying to me about this. I was so upset that I seperated from him throughout the day. He drove home alone, while I took the bus.

As of now, we have not spoken. I’m too upset to even look at him.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Ugh! The news gets even worse.

I decided to take my boyfriend to Mosta to celebrate Good Friday. On the way, we got into a theological discussion of the Passion of the Lord. As pretty as the Good Friday procession is, there is a much deeper and beautiful meanin behind it, and I wanted him to realise that.

He unfortunately seemed lost during the discussion. I was concerned, knowing that he had told that he had read the Gospels. However, he eventually confessed and admitted to lying to me about this. I was so upset that I seperated from him throughout the day. He drove home alone, while I took the bus.

As of now, we have not spoken. I’m too upset to even look at him.

OK, NOW do you have enough information to dump him??? Or are you going to keep trying to catch him in lies, to trap him in his dishonesty? Just let him go.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Well my dear, as painful and upsetting this is, it is important information that needed to come to light. Information you need as you discern which direction your own life is to go.

In this painful day, you are sharing in the suffering that Christ felt, watching Judas dip his bread in the bowl with Him, and knowing he was later to go out to the Pharisees to hand Jesus over.

 

[Sara_Balzano]

OK, NOW do you have enough information to dump him??? Or are you going to keep trying to catch him in lies, to trap him in his dishonesty? Just let him go.

I have, as of now, sent him an email that told him our relationship is over. Its saddening, but I feel it is the right thing to do.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I have, as of now, sent him an email that told him our relationship is over. Its saddening, but I feel it is the right thing to do.

May God strengthen you in your resolve and quicken a hope in your heart for amazing things to come in the future.

On that Good Friday long ago, the crowd shouted, “We want Barabus!!” You were in that crowd today, and it was your turn. You picked Jesus. God will bless you, have hope in His goodness.

 

[Sara_Balzano]

Thanks for the replies.

My boyfriend replied to my email. I will not reveal the entire message, but he basically told me that he was sorry for lying and he wishes to see me again.

I think I should tell him the truth, which is that I am not interested in an unbeliever, epsecially one who lies.

 

[Bklynguy]

Thanks for the replies.

My boyfriend replied to my email. I will not reveal the entire message, but he basically told me that he was sorry for lying and he wishes to see me again.

I think I should tell him the truth, which is that I am not interested in an unbeliever, epsecially one who lies.

You ultimately need to make this choice yourself. However, it already sounds like you know the direction that you want and need to go. I’m praying that God grants you the discernment to make the right decision.

Peace.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks for the replies.

My boyfriend replied to my email. I will not reveal the entire message, but he basically told me that he was sorry for lying and he wishes to see me again.

I think I should tell him the truth, which is that I am not interested in an unbeliever, epsecially one who lies.

He will likely try to convince you that you are making a mistake, that he is still a great guy, etc. etc. You can tell him, but then be ready to cut it off and block his emails.

I wouldn’t call him an unbeliever, though. In any case, if he’s a baptized Catholic, then, technically, he is a Catholic even if he has no current belief. Just tell him that as a faithful Catholic you can’t see yourself with someone who doesn’t practice the faith. Period.

 

[Trebor135]

Thanks for the replies.

My boyfriend replied to my email. I will not reveal the entire message, but he basically told me that he was sorry for lying and he wishes to see me again.

I think I should tell him the truth, which is that I am not interested in an unbeliever, epsecially one who lies.

I doubt that this relationship would have worked out, given how different the two of you appear to be. In any case, keep praying for the guy–St. Monica did so for St. Augustine and it took a decade or three to take effect.

I’m not condoning how he repeatedly failed to tell you the truth in any way. But it seems to me that he may have felt pressured to give you the answers you wished to receive on spiritual matters. I have no idea how the interactions went between the two of you, so there’s no justification for me to accuse you of overbearing conduct. It was just something that seemed ought be noted.

L-Ghid it-Tajjeb! (No Maltese ancestry in my blood–just a love of languages.)

 

[SilverLight]

Thanks for the replies.

My boyfriend replied to my email. I will not reveal the entire message, but he basically told me that he was sorry for lying and he wishes to see me again.

I think I should tell him the truth, which is that I am not interested in an unbeliever, epsecially one who lies.

That’s your choice personally I do not care what the persons religion is just as long as they treat me right and with love.

 

[Sara_Balzano]

Sigh . . . I have had it up to here with him!

Yesterday, he wanted to meet me and I agreed, thinking he was going to make amends for lying to me. He does so. However, while he was talking to me about his beliefs, he made this statement. I cannot quote him word for word, but he pretty much stated that the Roman Catholic Church is proof that the Roman Empire still occupies Malta and he said that he refuses to follow a foreign government. He then refered to the pope as a modern day Caesar.

I was about to tell that this was nonsense, but then I remembered how he told me that he viewed Roman Catholicism as part of his culture. When I stated this fact, he stumbled and after a ten second pause, he finally admitted to lying to me. He had believed I would reject him if he had told me the truth. I told him that he made a big mistake in lying to me. If he had told me the truth, we could have worked something out.

By then, I was so furious that I stormed out of his apartment and never looked back.

Now I can safely say that we are finished! May the Lord have mercy on his soul!

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

Indeed. But if the OP can exercise some positive influence on her boyfriend by, for example, answering some of his questions, we should be all in favour of the OP taking action to make this possible.

I agree, but question the ability of anyone to answer questions about the trinity.