Help! My husband wants a divorce

[twoangels]

Pray. Treat him with kindness. Love him though he doesn’t love you. Cling to Christ. Offer your suffering up. All you can do is stay faithful to your vows and pray for him. If he leaves you, find support. If he divorces you, I would look into inquiring whether the marriage was valid. The fact that he doesn’t seem to take marriage seriously would seem to put it into question. That would be how I’d feel. I’d want to know so that I would know whether to love him day by day while divorced from a distance or whether I could seek to meet other people and eventually marry. But until you’re divorced (if it does happen), don’t entertain that path. Love him and pray for him. You want to make this love you’re giving him be about your valuing of him. He feels loved. As opposed to him feeling you are desperate to have his love. You may be desperate but instead of loving him you try to coerce love out of him, he will distance himself from you. If you love him sincerely and purely…well he’d be a fool to leave you. He may still be a fool, but you’d be on the higher ground.

 

[Cashew]

If I could offer two book suggestions, I know they’ve really had an impact on how my wife and I view our marriage:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a very quick read, but basically it says that every person experiences love through some combination of acts of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. And to make people feel loved, you have to learn their language (even if its different from yours). It’s been very powerful in rethinking my own approach to my marriage.

amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331654350&sr=8-1

For Better Forever: A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage by Greg Popcak has been a big eye opener as well. It’s much more broad than the Chapman book, but really lets you look at your marriage from a Christian perspective and from a psychological perspective of how exceptional marriages work. He also has a radio show on Ave Marie Radio called More2Life, which you can listen in on at 12 pm eastern at avemariaradio.net.

amazon.com/For-Better-Forever-Catholic-Lifelong/dp/0879736887/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331654489&sr=1-1

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Have you tried the EWTN call-in show “The Doctor Is In?” They have a lot of helpful information for situations such as yours.

Placing you in the enclosed garden of the most Sacred Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

 

[whm]

Of course this breaks my heart. I reminded him of our wedding vows, and I told him we could work through it, but he refuses. He won’t get therapy. He won’t try anything.
For the past few months he has been pushing me away. He refuses to spend time with me or sleep in the same bed. He won’t have sex with me, and **chooses to look at porn instead of being with me. ** He is rude and treats me like he hates me. It’s like he is trying so hard to treat me badly so that I will agree to this divorce.

A porn addiction could potentially be a big part of the problem. It is intertwined with depression. It can in some cases lead to sexual dysfunction or a lack of interest in real people. Has he been using porn for very long? Was he religious when you got married?

I will say a prayer for you and your husband.

 

[Brightest_Star]

I can only think of two things.

One, he is with another woman and hopes to free himself from you so he can go and be with her. This is usually the reason for a ‘sudden’ declaration of unsatisfaction. Probably he’s been cheating for 6 months or longer and the more he enjoys that other life the less satisfied he becomes with the first one.

Two, he is just bored and numb from routine and sameness, and maybe panicking a bit over time going by and his dreams not being realized. This is another really common reason for wanting to break from a marriage.

In the first case, if you keep your kindness but make the process he desires take a loooong time the passion for this woman could die out before he is able to go through with the divorce. Your strategy here is to delay delay but not let him make you into a shrew. If he hates you he won’t come back to you even if the other woman and him fizzle out.

In the second case, finding out what those dreams are that he used to have, and encouraging him to ‘go for it’, might work. It may mean anything though, so be prepared. For example; maybe he wanted to backpack Europe or go mineral excavating in Peru. Be willing to pack a bag and sell your assets to make this happen, because if this* is* the case then he is most likely thinking that it would be kinder to divorce you and leave you with the house and your family than to drag you all around on some adventure he may not even have properly planned out.

These are just possibilities I’m throwing out there because I’ve seen them in my life, but of course I don’t know him, or you, so I could be very wrong.
It’s really sad that you have to going through this, I hope you and him are able to work it out and repair your marriage. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless.

 

[jenniferpretty1]

I woke up this morning with joy and smile seeing my lover who asked for divorce sleeping on the same bed with me,True the help of this great man called Dr sanjay i am jennifer from the united state am here to testify in the good name of this God-sent called Dr sanjay for the great thing he has done after i have been in a relationship and we later got married after 6 years of marriage my lover kelvin just woke up one morning and told me that he needs a divorce and he needs the divorce very urgently that he his tired of me and he wants to get a new lover he said mean words to me that made me cry and believe maybe some spirit entered into him,The next day was a letter from the lawyer that my lover needed a divorce when the lawyer came home tears dropped out of my eyes then i packed my things and decided to leave the house for him which then he brought the lady he said he wants to get married to so we were suppose to be in court this wednesday 4th of this month,But i got to know about Dr sanjay when i was reading a magazine how he has cancelled lots of divorce and restored many marriages and bring back Ex… so then i went to the internet read lots of Reviews about Dr sanjay on the internet how he has helped lots of people in getting back there lover so i could not waste much time i contacted him and told him what my problem was then he told me that my lover would be back to my arms within 24 hours Lo and behold my lover kelvin came back to my arm drove away the lady he brought home and he called me and asked where i was he came over and apologies to me in tears that he does not need the divorce anymore all he wants is me and he made me had access to his account SSN ATM pin and beneficiary to all his account am so happy today divorce cancelled within 24 hours i believe Dr sanjay is a man to trust and believe on. You don’t need to cry anymore Dr sanjay has been sent to clean our tears you can contact him on sanjaylandofsolution60@gmail. com or cell phone +2348176363653