Help! My wife is Furious at me!

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uofl19

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I think I did something wrong. I was caught by my wife watching Desperate Housewives!! She thinks I was watching it because of the women. I told her I was flipping through when I stopped on a very corny scene. She doesn’t buy it. She said why would a guy watch desperate housewives?? She is Furious!! I feel like she is going overboard. She is VERY INSECURE about her appearance and I can understand that aspect of it. However, she compares it to watching porn. Lusting over women and watching something as immoral as that. I will say my 73 yr old mother loves the show!!

I’m ready to take a beating on this!!!
 
Don’t know what to tell you. I’ve already watched a few movies on the lifetime network (for women) and I haven’t heard a peep from my wife. Most of their stuff is anti-male, so I don’t watch it much. I have never watched desparate housewives, but then I don’t watch hardly any prime time tv. Just stick to EWTN and RFD tv and you can’t go wrong.
 
Oh man…I think your wife due to her own insecurities over her apperance (as you stated) has MAJORLY OVER-REACTED!
 
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uofl19:
I think I did something wrong. I was caught by my wife watching Desperate Housewives!! She thinks I was watching it because of the women. I told her I was flipping through when I stopped on a very corny scene. She doesn’t buy it. She said why would a guy watch desperate housewives?? She is Furious!! I feel like she is going overboard. She is VERY INSECURE about her appearance and I can understand that aspect of it. However, she compares it to watching porn. Lusting over women and watching something as immoral as that. I will say my 73 yr old mother loves the show!!

I’m ready to take a beating on this!!!
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Oh I think Karin is correct on this one.

I don’t know what you can do when someone is ruled by their own insecurities, causing them to become angry with you. I know that when I have been confronted by such things in the past I have had to learn to apologize for upsetting the person and then move on. I cannot make them feel better.

You might, just for curiousity sake, ask your wife (gently, and with sincerity - not with sarcasm) what she would like you to do to ‘make things right’ between you. Unless she says something really silly, like “jump off the roof during a snow storm in your underwear” I would listen and try to do what she asks. If it is something like, “Just admit you were watching those women” you might say, “If my telling you that I was watching the show because I think the women are beautiful will make you feel better, and allow us to move past this bump in the road, then I am willing to do so.”

Then I would ask her if she would be willing to pray the Rosary with you …
 
I don’t have any advice, but I can relate to your predicament. My wife gets very upset at me for watching “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.

Women - You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them!
 
Or, in the words of the Forrester Sister’s

“men, you can’t live with 'em and you just cain’t shoot 'em…”😉
 
Why don’t you ask your wife to pick out a show that you could both watch together? I agree that praying a Rosary together would be a great idea! Also, try going to Daily Mass together at least once a week, if not more frequently.
 
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uofl19:
I think I did something wrong. I was caught by my wife watching Desperate Housewives!! She thinks I was watching it because of the women. I told her I was flipping through when I stopped on a very corny scene. She doesn’t buy it. She said why would a guy watch desperate housewives?? She is Furious!! I feel like she is going overboard. She is VERY INSECURE about her appearance and I can understand that aspect of it. However, she compares it to watching porn. Lusting over women and watching something as immoral as that. I will say my 73 yr old mother loves the show!!

I’m ready to take a beating on this!!!
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Desperate Housewives is trash anyways, deal with whatever comes (be honest, loving, and patient with her) and skip it next time. She may have reacted in a way you find too strong, and maybe for the wrong reasons, but maybe she is trying to guide you away from watching junk like that. Remember, curiosity killed the cat (and he was lucky to have a few extra lives left, but us humans only have one).
 
I’ve only seen one episode of Desperate Housewives and I really think the show is more hype than anything else. Last season I think it was supposedly considered fairly racy but the episode I saw (this season) was borderline BORING. There wasn’t any modesty issues in the one I happened to see, and really most of the characters are almost painful to watch because they’re either stupid or they interact/react with such a lack of credibility that it’s not engaging or believable.

Has your wife seen the show? I avoided it like the plague but a friend told me just to watch one episode and see what I thought. Maybe I happened to catch a very rare but tame one, but I was bored senseless and didn’t enjoy it nor feel scandalized. I don’t care to watch it now because I wasn’t interested, not because I was horribly revolted by it.

My husband chose not to watch it with me, though.
 
Just wait until she watches something on TV and then react similarly. 😉
“What are you watching? America’s Funnist Videos!? You actually enjoy watching others get hurt? Or is it because you think other families are funnier than ours? I am offended, appalled! Humph!” Then stomp away…😉
 
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LSK:
Oh I think Karin is correct on this one.

I don’t know what you can do when someone is ruled by their own insecurities, causing them to become angry with you. I know that when I have been confronted by such things in the past I have had to learn to apologize for upsetting the person and then move on. I cannot make them feel better.

You might, just for curiousity sake, ask your wife (gently, and with sincerity - not with sarcasm) what she would like you to do to ‘make things right’ between you. Unless she says something really silly, like “jump off the roof during a snow storm in your underwear” I would listen and try to do what she asks. If it is something like, “Just admit you were watching those women” you might say, “If my telling you that I was watching the show because I think the women are beautiful will make you feel better, and allow us to move past this bump in the road, then I am willing to do so.”

Then I would ask her if she would be willing to pray the Rosary with you …
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I hate to disagree but under no circumstances, if it is untrue, say that you were watching the show because the women are beautiful. It will not help you in the long run. If she is really as insecure as you believe then this comment will only simmer in her conscious and will end up coming up again and again. Besides, why lie to her just to make peace?
 
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deb1:
I hate to disagree but under no circumstances, if it is untrue, say that you were watching the show because the women are beautiful. It will not help you in the long run. If she is really as insecure as you believe then this comment will only simmer in her conscious and will end up coming up again and again. Besides, why lie to her just to make peace?
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I agree, rather than lying to her to “make peace” (which won’t happen if you do it that way), tell her that you did not mean to offend her and that now that you’ve seen an episode, she’s right, it IS trashy and you would rather spend time with her next time. Have you seen the thread that’s going on right now about “underwear”? Buy her some and see what she says 🙂 She might get the idea that you are only interested in seeing HER in underwear.
 
You probably realize this but I would say that if your wife is insecure about her appearance then it is really your job to build her confidence. You may be trying to do this already but it seems that, reasonably or not, this little “episode” (pun intended) has shaken her confidence and now your major concern should be to build her back up.
I have struggled with confidence in my attractiveness but since getting married I am completely changed. My husband is so clear about how attractive he finds me, and says so much, so often that I have begun to think that maybe I am actually an attractive woman.
Maybe your wife is reacting strongly to this but that isn’t the important thing, her reaction is just a symptom that she isn’t confident in your exclusive attraction to her. Whether or not that is her “problem” or your “problem” (i.e. you do watch other women because they are, admittedly, gorgeous) is of minor importance when you look at the result: her lack of confidence in your attraction to her.
So, if you have to jump off a bridge to show her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you - then get your swimtrunks on and jump.
 
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uofl19:
I think I did something wrong. I was caught by my wife watching Desperate Housewives!! She thinks I was watching it because of the women. I told her I was flipping through when I stopped on a very corny scene. She doesn’t buy it. She said why would a guy watch desperate housewives?? She is Furious!! I feel like she is going overboard. She is VERY INSECURE about her appearance and I can understand that aspect of it. However, she compares it to watching porn. Lusting over women and watching something as immoral as that. I will say my 73 yr old mother loves the show!!

I’m ready to take a beating on this!!!
Click to expand...
WOW! My wife watches desprate houswives every week and has been bugging me to watch it with her. if i had known it was this “hot” i would have joined her.

Seriously there has to be something else going on here. Is your wife a jealous type? Has she caught you viewing pornography? Does she have any reason not to trust you? is this behavior on her part unusual?
 
You are all absolutely correct about not lying just to make peace. I was wrong.

Mea Culpa
 
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deb1:
I hate to disagree but under no circumstances, if it is untrue, say that you were watching the show because the women are beautiful. It will not help you in the long run. If she is really as insecure as you believe then this comment will only simmer in her conscious and will end up coming up again and again. Besides, why lie to her just to make peace?
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I agree, and I’d add that you should tell her that the so-called “beauty” of the women on such shows is a lie and a fantasy. Real women don’t have to have special lighting and gobs of make up to make them beautiful. Tell your wife you married her for the beauty you see in her, that is unlike anyone else’s in the world, and that you wouldn’t trade her for all the artificial “beauties” on the planet. See if that truth doesn’t put you back in her good graces. 😉
 
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Della:
I agree, and I’d add that you should tell her that the so-called “beauty” of the women on such shows is a lie and a fantasy. Real women don’t have to have special lighting and gobs of make up to make them beautiful. Tell your wife you married her for the beauty you see in her, that is unlike anyone else’s in the world, and that you wouldn’t trade her for all the artificial “beauties” on the planet. See if that truth doesn’t put you back in her good graces. 😉
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I agree!! And… it might (probably will) take days, months, years of telling her things like this to help with her insecurity. But keep at it and make her feel loved. And just don’t watch the show again. 🙂

My husband and I watch it together though.
 
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