Help! My wife is Furious at me!

[Mom_of_5]

pira114:

That’s insane! You’re not being fair to him or yourself. Just because a man thinks a woman is pretty, does not mean he thinks she is prettier than you. You are his wife and the mother of 5. That makes you the most beautiful creature in his life. Period. When you realize that, you won’t need to ask which one is prettiest, it won’t matter.

Take it from a Man who’s been there. Don’t ask questions with hidden meanings. If you think you are not pretty enough for him and you HAVE to find out, ask him in plain english. But only ask if you want to hear the answer for your own sake. You’d only be setting the both of you up for heartache otherwise.

I think I need to explain: Too many of us women tend to let ourselves go as time goes by. Our husbands deserve the best of us, and we deserve the best of our husbands. I recently met a young women (early 30’s). She admited that she and her husband were not getting along. She said he was upset at her unkempt appearance. She thought he should just accept her as she was and not expect her to put in extra effort. I think we all need to try to be attractive to our spouses. We should remember how we looked when we fell in love and even in old age, keep that beautiful smile he or she fell in love with.

Love and peace

 

[mommyaprilj]

My husband would tell me to get a grip or sleep on the couch.

And I would deserve it.

 

[otm]

SemperJase:

Wow, that’s kind of harsh. It sounds like you’re saying this is all his fault because he had the TV on.

Or maybe she is overly sensitive and they both need to respect each other. His “getting a life” won’t address her false accusations.

Again, his fault for wanting to be treated with respect? Post partuem depression or even PMS does not excuse bad behavior. Telling him he should get over bad treatment is telling him he doesn’t deserve to be treated respectfully and he is wrong for having that expectation. He is not to blame for her poor behavior.

Counseling is a good suggestion.

Obviously I have my opinions about TV; I turned mine off almost 18 years ago, and I can count on one hand the number of times it comes on in a month. Sitting in front of the boob tube staring is not conducive to conversations, and part of the bedrock of a marriage in communication: hard to do if you are not conversing.

I would agree that depression and PMS are not excuses for bad behavior. However, in any marriage there are times where one party has to extend themself, be more solicitous, caring, loving (fill in the blank) than normal times. Life is tough; sometimnes your life-partner, your spouse, requires more patience, maintenance, or call it what you want; you just have to suck it up and give. Sometimes, even if it is not an excuse, you are going to be treated to bad behavior. It ain’t the movies, no one is writing your script; if someone told you this wouldn’t happen, they lied to you.