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spacecadet
Guest
find ways to encourage her self-esteem to grow…don’t watch trash on TV
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1ke
Guest
I think your wife has some MAJOR issues. **It’s not you. ** Does she go to counseling for her insecurity issues?
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Wondering_Waif
Guest
That’s a great idea! I don’t know what kind of guys his wife is thinking of but I know that a lot of guys enjoy that show-I don’t see what the big deal is.Just wait until she watches something on TV and then react similarly.
“What are you watching? America’s Funnist Videos!? You actually enjoy watching others get hurt? Or is it because you think other families are funnier than ours? I am offended, appalled! Humph!” Then stomp away…
After all, Eva Longoria is beautiful, it’s normal to watch pretty people, that doesn’t mean he loves his wife less, I’m just guessing that he’s no David Duchovny either, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love him.
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Wondering_Waif
Guest
That would be very nice but it wouldn’t help. His wife has problems and she needs counseling, catering to her worst self makes him hen-pecked in my opinion.I agree, and I’d add that you should tell her that the so-called “beauty” of the women on such shows is a lie and a fantasy. Real women don’t have to have special lighting and gobs of make up to make them beautiful. Tell your wife you married her for the beauty you see in her, that is unlike anyone else’s in the world, and that you wouldn’t trade her for all the artificial “beauties” on the planet. See if that truth doesn’t put you back in her good graces.
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LSK
Guest
Wondering Waif:
Telling someone that you think they are beautiful when you do is hardly catering to her worst self - but I agree that she needs both counselling and prayers. Perhaps you could both start praying together?
What does barn yard animals have to do with any of this?
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CatholicSam
Guest
Wondering Waif:
OP, did you try any of our advice? Is your wife still furious, or have you made your way back into her good books? I have another idea–go to monthly (if not more frequently) confession together.
A husband’s job is to lift up his wife, and a wife’s job is to lift up her husband. He can offer up the hen-peckedness for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, or even for the bettering of his own marriage. His wife’s “problem” is just as much his, since they are both now One in the eyes of God.
OP, did you try any of our advice? Is your wife still furious, or have you made your way back into her good books? I have another idea–go to monthly (if not more frequently) confession together.
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Wondering_Waif
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==
LOL, nothing, it’s a colloquial expression meaning that his wife is dominating him.
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jess7396
Guest
I used to be horrible jealous like that, before getting married. I suggest your wife ask for healing from the Holy Spirit of her insecurities.
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StephanieC
Guest
Dude, is this the same woman who just carried your child in her body for 9 months and then gave birth to him about 2 months ago?
Give her a break! Even if she is going overboard, and even if her reaction is based entirely on her own insecurities, can’t you let her win this battle, just this once?
When I was 2 months post-partum, I remember finally taking a good look in the bathroom mirror & then throwing myself an itty-bitty-pity party, wondering where my old body went to. And I am a pretty matter-of-fact, secure-about-my-looks kinda gal.
Now’s your big chance to really step up big time & make sure she knows how beautiful, sexy and desirable you think she is. My hunch is that THAT is what this whole episode is really all about.
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DJgang
Guest
Yep, and just maybe there is the hormones that need to be factored in! Post Partum Depression possibly…
Just take her out this weekend for a nice quiet dinner and let her know just how beautiful she really is…but make sure there’s something in her closet that she can wear, otherwise, scratch that idea and make dinner at home…make it romantic…
Good luck!
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otm
Guest
Turn off the TV, unplug it from the wall, get a wire cutter and cut the plug off and get a life.
and don’t tell me how you need to relax. Find a way to relax that doesn’t resort to programs directed to the lowest common denominator.
You are wasting untold hours each week sitting infront of the boob tube.
Where do you think that name came from? From the boobs sitting in front of it.
who cares what your fellow workers discuss the next day? If that is the level of conversation, find someone who still has a brain and discuss something better. Or better yet, get busy at work ad do what you were hired to do.
with the TV off, turn on some music and pitch in getting the housework done during the weekday evenings so you can both have the weekend off.
Get a life!
And if she is in post partum hormonal emotional reactions, shut up, put up and get over it. If she has a history of emotional insecurity that seems overwhelming, get her to counseling; if necessary, go with her; or go first and then get the counselor to ask her to join in.
Remember, a good definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
and don’t tell me how you need to relax. Find a way to relax that doesn’t resort to programs directed to the lowest common denominator.
You are wasting untold hours each week sitting infront of the boob tube.
Where do you think that name came from? From the boobs sitting in front of it.
who cares what your fellow workers discuss the next day? If that is the level of conversation, find someone who still has a brain and discuss something better. Or better yet, get busy at work ad do what you were hired to do.
with the TV off, turn on some music and pitch in getting the housework done during the weekday evenings so you can both have the weekend off.
Get a life!
And if she is in post partum hormonal emotional reactions, shut up, put up and get over it. If she has a history of emotional insecurity that seems overwhelming, get her to counseling; if necessary, go with her; or go first and then get the counselor to ask her to join in.
Remember, a good definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
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Mom_of_5
Guest
I’ve never watched the show…I have heard that it is ridiculous at best. If I “caught” my hubby watching the show, I would ask him which of the “wives” was prettiest, then look in the mirror. Maybe he does deserve something a little better to look at. Maybe a “makeover” is in order.
Love and peace,
Mom of 5
Love and peace,
Mom of 5
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pira114
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Ignore her rants. Don’t even react to them. When she asks you why you’re not saying anything (and she will) just tell her calmly that she is incorrect and that you WILL NOT argue over it. Leave it at that. She is looking for attention. Give it to her. But not when she’s over reacting to something. Give her more attention when she’s not asking for it. The most important thing is to not show any emotion if she wants to argue over it.
Your wife deserves all the loving attention you can give, especially if she just gave birth to a child, but you need to give it at the right times. Most guys think that means when the woman demands it, not true, it’s most needed when they least expect it.
As for argueing, I’ve heard people say that it’s healthy. A discussion is healthy, an arguement is futile. I refuse to argue, therefore we have no arguements. We have plenty of civilized discussions.
I believe in treating women like queens. I treat my wife like a queen. In turn she asks for nothing. No, she doesn’t get everything she wants, and no, I’m not “whipped.” She treats me like a king. It always goes both ways. Has to.
On the other hand, if there is ANY truth to what she is upset about, you must admit it right away and apologize. She’s only over reacting if there’s no truth to it. You must be honest with yourself.
Your wife deserves all the loving attention you can give, especially if she just gave birth to a child, but you need to give it at the right times. Most guys think that means when the woman demands it, not true, it’s most needed when they least expect it.
As for argueing, I’ve heard people say that it’s healthy. A discussion is healthy, an arguement is futile. I refuse to argue, therefore we have no arguements. We have plenty of civilized discussions.
I believe in treating women like queens. I treat my wife like a queen. In turn she asks for nothing. No, she doesn’t get everything she wants, and no, I’m not “whipped.” She treats me like a king. It always goes both ways. Has to.
On the other hand, if there is ANY truth to what she is upset about, you must admit it right away and apologize. She’s only over reacting if there’s no truth to it. You must be honest with yourself.
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pira114
Guest
Mom of 5:
Take it from a Man who’s been there. Don’t ask questions with hidden meanings. If you think you are not pretty enough for him and you HAVE to find out, ask him in plain english. But only ask if you want to hear the answer for your own sake. You’d only be setting the both of you up for heartache otherwise.
That’s insane! You’re not being fair to him or yourself. Just because a man thinks a woman is pretty, does not mean he thinks she is prettier than you. You are his wife and the mother of 5. That makes you the most beautiful creature in his life. Period. When you realize that, you won’t need to ask which one is prettiest, it won’t matter.
Take it from a Man who’s been there. Don’t ask questions with hidden meanings. If you think you are not pretty enough for him and you HAVE to find out, ask him in plain english. But only ask if you want to hear the answer for your own sake. You’d only be setting the both of you up for heartache otherwise.
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Wondering_Waif
Guest
Hey, wait a minute, I didn’t see the part about her just giving birth two months ago! I went back and re-read the post and missed it again! If that is the case, I agree with you, she’s just done something really magnificent for him, not watching a television show to keep her happy is a VERY small concession to make.
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StephanieC
Guest
Wondering Waif:
No, there’s no mention of the OP’s new baby in this thread; I just happened to remember this detail from a previous post of his & when I double-checked by viewing his old posts, I was right!
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Wondering_Waif
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AHA!!!No, there’s no mention of the OP’s new baby in this thread; I just happened to remember this detail from a previous post of his & when I double-checked by viewing his old posts, I was right!
Well, if she’s just two months from giving birth this lady is probably sensitive from lack of sleep! I’m on her side all the way.
I watched the first season of DH and I liked it, but this season I find that I fall asleep while watching and then I miss Grey’s Anatomy, a show that I really like, except for the gross parts. This guy really won’t be missing much if he makes the sacrifice.
Eva Longoria hasn’t done a thing for him, his wife gave up a year of her life to provide him with an heir, that makes a big difference in my opinion.
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Shoshana
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No, there’s no mention of the OP’s new baby in this thread; I just happened to remember this detail from a previous post of his & when I double-checked by viewing his old posts, I was right!
Code:
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SemperJase
Guest
Wow, that’s kind of harsh. It sounds like you’re saying this is all his fault because he had the TV on.
Or maybe she is overly sensitive and they both need to respect each other. His “getting a life” won’t address her false accusations.
Again, his fault for wanting to be treated with respect? Post partuem depression or even PMS does not excuse bad behavior. Telling him he should get over bad treatment is telling him he doesn’t deserve to be treated respectfully and he is wrong for having that expectation. He is not to blame for her poor behavior.
Counseling is a good suggestion.
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AnnBeth
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It is easy for any woman to be insecure about her appearance. It used to be that you got to be 30 or 40 and people would understand that you looked 30 or 40. Now we feel bad if we don’t diet into the body of a 16 year old girl even though statitstically most Americans are overweight or even obese. You feel like she is over-reacting and maybe she is but she is doing this because she feels bad. Tell her she is beautiful (often) and that you love her.
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