R
Redevoted
Guest
Hi, I have read through much of these threads. I must say I can understand your wife and you. I have been and am there. We have a blended family - yours, mine, and ours. 5 years ago I had an affair, because my husband and I were struggling and I was very hurt and sad. We had many problems with the children from our priors. Our communication skills were/are terrible. After my affair, I promised God I would stay with this marriage. I would uphold my vows no matter what. For 2 and 1/2 years, I was very stable. I went to Mass daily, I read, I listened, I stayed the path and course following the church laws. I even received a Radical Sanation of my marriage. Then when my daughter turned 18 a horrific accusation concerning my husband, her stepfather, came out. Unfortunately, it was not “contained” just within my household. My family, my siblings, and the police became involved. I am now LOST. I am now 2 and 1/2 years into to this horrid struggle and I am forever being torn. My daughter is now 20, she says she forgives my husband, but I don’t think she does, although I have offered to pay for counseling she refuses. My husband and I fight and argue. Though no charges were ever brought against him because my daughter didn’t want to press them. This has DESTROYED my relationship with my extended family. I feel as if I live a lie and fake the happiness even when I’m in agony inside. We have finally reached a breaking point and have discussed separation and divorce (yes I know the rules). We have a six year old together who is very happy and very loved. In our struggle, I have fallen back into sin and I am working to correct MY wrongs.
I know how your wife feels as there is an embarrassment and humiliation. I have thought greatly about the Blessed Mother watching her son die. I have thought of your concepts, and while Blessed Mother did not deserve her pain and suffering she endured, maybe I do because of my past actions. I too am trying to ENDURE, but I am VERY weak. My husband is consistently trying to make up to me for the pain he has and it does continue to cause pain, separation, and anxiety. I try to remind myself GOD FORGIVES, it is we who are human that struggle. I do sincerely believe in he is sorry and regretful (but I forget and become very angry all over again) The wound feels fresh each time. I acknowledge that life is sometimes a domino affect and it can spiral. Our life has spiraled.
Please you all must seek counseling. We finally have because the pain, suffering, emotions, and continuous issues that are stirred up (facts that get changed, other presumptions) etc. by my extended family cause me more grief than I can possibly explain. I ALWAYS feel like the Elephant in the room at a family function should I choose to attend. We are seeking help from professionals.
God be with you and your wife. I feel the pain she has but I have caused my own. Many of these individuals are correct. You need to help and fix yourself first. I was never so happy and felt like I could handle this than when I was closer with Christ. I am trying to take the pathway back.
May God have Mercy on us ALL.
I know how your wife feels as there is an embarrassment and humiliation. I have thought greatly about the Blessed Mother watching her son die. I have thought of your concepts, and while Blessed Mother did not deserve her pain and suffering she endured, maybe I do because of my past actions. I too am trying to ENDURE, but I am VERY weak. My husband is consistently trying to make up to me for the pain he has and it does continue to cause pain, separation, and anxiety. I try to remind myself GOD FORGIVES, it is we who are human that struggle. I do sincerely believe in he is sorry and regretful (but I forget and become very angry all over again) The wound feels fresh each time. I acknowledge that life is sometimes a domino affect and it can spiral. Our life has spiraled.
Please you all must seek counseling. We finally have because the pain, suffering, emotions, and continuous issues that are stirred up (facts that get changed, other presumptions) etc. by my extended family cause me more grief than I can possibly explain. I ALWAYS feel like the Elephant in the room at a family function should I choose to attend. We are seeking help from professionals.
God be with you and your wife. I feel the pain she has but I have caused my own. Many of these individuals are correct. You need to help and fix yourself first. I was never so happy and felt like I could handle this than when I was closer with Christ. I am trying to take the pathway back.
May God have Mercy on us ALL.