help please

[bibleguy180]

I need some advice on telling my parents something that I know they won’t take very well. Any ideas?

 

[_L]

I need some advice on telling my parents something that I know they won’t take very well. Any ideas?

It would depend on what it is you are planning to tell them. Advice will vary depending on what it is you want to reveal to them.

 

[bibleguy180]

It would depend on what it is you are planning to tell them. Advice will vary depending on what it is you want to reveal to them.

Well I’m uhh… probably leaving Catholicism… now please everyone I don’t want to talk about that is not what this thread is about I just need to know how to tell them.

 

[AnneElliot]

How old are you?

 

[bibleguy180]

How old are you?

16

 

[snowbee]

You can’t leave Catholicism that easy.
Can’t scrub away that invisible mark on your head from baptism.
You can of course choose to stop ‘practicing’ Catholicism, but I think you have a bigger issue than simply telling your parents.
Have you thought that perhaps you don’t understand the Truths in Catholicism, which could be why you are feeling this way?
Do you have the core down that you believe that Jesus was the Christ and He is present in the Eucharist? (because if you are leaving the Church, you are leaving Christ in the Eucharist, which you need more than food or water)

 

[bibleguy180]

You can’t leave Catholicism that easy.
Can’t scrub away that invisible mark on your head from baptism.
You can of course choose to stop ‘practicing’ Catholicism, but I think you have a bigger issue than simply telling your parents.
Have you thought that perhaps you don’t understand the Truths in Catholicism, which could be why you are feeling this way?
Do you have the core down that you believe that Jesus was the Christ and He is present in the Eucharist? (because if you are leaving the Church, you are leaving Christ in the Eucharist, which you need more than food or water)

Yes I believe in real presence, but I get yelled at by my relatives and teachers for being a “bad Catholic” because I hardly believe in anything else. Maybe 33% if we’re generous

 

[AnneElliot]

16

In a certain sense, you have a duty/obligation to obey your parents, so if they ask you to still go to Mass with them as a family on Sundays, you should do it (though refrain from receiving the Eucharist if you are not in a state of grace).

You are still young, and have lots to learn. Don’t brush off Catholicism so easily. If you still believe in the Real Presence, why would you leave it? You put your salvation at risk by leaving Jesus’ Church. You put your soul at risk by not feeding it the living Bread of Life it craves.

Leaving because you “get yelled at” is a dumb reason to give up. Shape up. Listen to relatives and teachers… maybe you’ll learn something.

 

[AnneElliot]

A week ago you were convinced that you should stay Catholic… what’s changed between then and now?

 

[bibleguy180]

A week ago you were convinced that you should stay Catholic… what’s changed between then and now?

I came to my senses and realized some miracle shouldn’t be my reason for staying if I don’t believe in most of the stuff the church teaches

 

[snowbee]

You may not believe so, but you are very young. I stopped going to mass and practicing Catholic as soon as I turned 18. I was involved in horrible things disgraceful to God and myself.
I always felt drawn to the Eucharist though because I knew the Truth that He was in the Eucharist.
After about 5 years I knew I needed to come back; Even though I didn’t agree with everything. I accepted that the Church had the right answer and that I simply did not understand it, but as time and studying went by I would, and I am. I’m in a constant state of learning, that’s why I put that as my religion.
I accept that I don’t understand everything, and my disagreement on certain issues is because I do not understand the fullness of the Truth yet.
I can’t tell you how much I regret having left when I did, for as long as I did.
My whole life I have been seeking God, that is the only thing that brought me back. I searched in all the wrong places, because I wasn’t properly catechized and made poor choices as a result.
Don’t give up. Accept that ** YOU that needs to be changed by God, and it may not happen altogether too soon, but be patient, and don’t put your soul at risk by leaving.**

 

[bibleguy180]

You put your salvation at risk by leaving Jesus’ Church. You put your soul at risk by not feeding it the living Bread of Life it craves.

And this is typical one true church arrogance I absolutely DESPISE

 

[bibleguy180]

And I’m gonna leave… seeing as no one has helped with my problem… which I probably should have expected on a Catholic forum see ya

 

[AnneElliot]

And this is typical one true church arrogance I absolutely DESPISE

The Truth doesn’t change just because you don’t like it.

 

[snowbee]

And this is typical one true church arrogance I absolutely DESPISE

From the creed: I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
Jesus said that He would never leave us, that He would send the Advocate to continue to guide us. He breathed onto the 12 original apostles and made them priests, with Peter as his chosen, rock and leader.

To acknowledge other churches as being equal and valid you would be making the statement that contradicts what Christ said.
Do you not see the error in that?
Look at the 1000s of Christian denominations today, how all of them differ from Catholicism in some way or another, on moral and theological issues. There is Right and Wrong, Good and Evil; and if a church is similar but differs on a moral issue, surely God has revealed to us the Truth in some way, that would mean that one is a false Church.
Trust that God has kept his promise and continues to guide His Church, the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.

 

[Alexander_Smith]

And this is typical one true church arrogance I absolutely DESPISE

Do you despise it because it might be true? Or because you have good reason to believe it is false? Nobody said the truth was easy to take. If you can’t accept the truth, ignoring it won’t make it go away.

And don’t act all hurt that Catholics aren’t gonna give you tips on how to tell your parents you are leaving Catholicism. Think a bit about how much it will hurt your parents, and carefully consider your true motivations for not practicing your faith.

 

[silentstar]

I need some advice on telling my parents something that I know they won’t take very well. Any ideas?

As far as the original question, you are a minor so I think your parents might be pretty upset. Even more so than if you were of age.

Here is a suggestion. Instead of presenting it as black-and-white, “I’m leaving the faith,” tell them that you are having a hard time with some of the Church’s beliefs and the way you are being treated in school. Maybe changing schools is a better idea than leaving the Church. I don’t know but I thought I’d throw that out there.

If you are in Catholic school but leave the faith, that might put you in an uncomfortable situation. Instead, you might want to present it as you are having some serious doubts right now. Some people are the type to believe strongly all their lives, from birth or from whenever they convert or learn about the faith. Other people at some point go through a spiritual crisis in which they need to decide what and why they believe. You are at an age when that happens for a lot of people.

One suggestion that almost any parent will accept is that you are interested in reading “Dark night of the soul” by St. John of the Cross, if you have not done so already. I don’t know the motives behind your questioning, whether they are intellectual, emotional, or a combination, in addition to spiritual. But that writing describes a spiritual crisis as recorded by a Catholic mystic who was imprisoned and tortured for his beliefs. He also had to reconcile the idea of being "different’ with his Catholic spirituality and theology.

Another suggestion is to read “The journey of the mind to God” by St. Bonaventure. A priest recommended I read that at one point.

Before you leave the Church I would make certain that you know a lot about the faith you are rejecting, and that includes reading theological writings like these that have stood the test of time. There is a lot of controversy about what constitutes good modern theology, but these works are centuries old and if anyone does not approve of either one of them, I haven’t heard about it.

So you could present it that you are uncomfortable and on a journey of exploration, which would be the truth if you decide to do it this way. Getting a spiritual director who can talk to you about theology may also help.

Best of luck to you.

 

[snowbee]

Say a couple prayers for him people…
It’s sad to see another lost, he won’t find what his heart truly desires elsewhere.
We see how the devil turns his heart and mind away from a conversion that could save his soul, curse you Satan!
May god bless his son bibleguy180 and may the saints and angels fight for his soul.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

 

[Trishie]

There’s no way you can tell your parents that you are leaving the Church that will make things easier. The reality is the same however you say it, and the fact of your leaving will profoundly disappoint and distress them. They shouldn’t yell at you, that’s not the way to help anyone preserve or develop their faith, but you can’t make it easier for them, and by the sound of their responses to you, you can’t make it easier on yourself.

The most you can do is to say someday you might come back, but that won’t reflect what you feel right now, and it also won’t give your parents any real consolation…

I’m unhappy about the pressure placed on you and no doubt that’s part of your rebellion.
Your belief in the Real Presence is a treasure and for your own sake I wish you could hang on to that and quietly resolve things without doing anything drastic…but I understand that having others pressuring you doesn’t help.

 

[ZDHayden]

At 16, you are hitting your rebellious years. This is nothing more than a tantrum thrown at authority. I know, I’ve been there. Youth is vanity. Pride is vanity. Hopefully the maturity of years will bring you wisdom to see the error of your vanity.

Domine Iesu, dimitte nobis debita nostra, salva nos ab igne inferiori, perduc in cælum omnes animas, præsertim eas, quæ misericordiæ tuæ maxime indigent. Amen.