Help!...surrounded by fornicating, cohabitating neighbors

[pittsburghjeff]

felra:

I fail to see how I am being judgmental or nosey. It’s called in your face when I can practically touch my neighbor’s home from our abutting driveway. No way to not notice some of your neighbors’ activities. (Example: Having a cup of coffee while helping my son water our perennial plants the other morning before I go to work, and out walks a female and scoots into the car parked over night 20 feet away in the driveway of our new neighbor). Who is intruding upon whom?

In your face? How do you know what happened in that house? For all you know the girl could be his sister. Or it could be someone whose house caught on fire the night before and she slept on his couch. You don’t know for certain that any sin went on in there. Give him the benefit of the doubt before you accuse him of corrupting the morals of your children.

If you want real neighbor problems, move next door to a drug dealer or a registered sex offender. Then you’ll have legitimate neighborhood concerns.

 

[pittsburghjeff]

One more suggestion: try loving him.

We as Christians are called to evangelize.

If we lived in neighborhoods where everyone is a perfect Catholic (good luck finding one) and perfect Catholics are all we are exposed to, then we’d be denying ourselves any real opportunities for evangelization.

If you see someone publicly and blatantly sinning in front of your children, use it as a teaching tool for them. “See son, what so and so is doing, that is wrong and this is why…this is how so and so will suffer the consequences of his sin in this life…we need to pray for him and love him so Jesus can change his heart so he can see perfect happiness in Christ and join us in heaven one day.”

 

[felra]

pittsburghjeff:

I
If you want real neighbor problems, move next door to a drug dealer or a registered sex offender. Then you’ll have legitimate neighborhood concerns.

You don’t consider evident immoral behavior and lifestyles as legitimate neighborhood concerns for a Christian family? I haven’t put my head in the sand that far yet.

But, yes, I see your point, I could have had a serial killer move in next door to us.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

felra:

I will consider a bit more across the fence socializing, and maybe facing our stature of the blessed Mary toward our newest neighbor.

That is so cool.

What better gift could you give your neighbors?

Alan

 

[misericordie]

space ghost:

…close your curtains and quit being so nosey…

…you won’t have to look far to find sin all around you…anywhere!!

…yep, go to daily mass and pray to be more concerned with your timbers rather than someone elses splinters…

…continue to be a shinning christian example…

I agree.

 

[Frankie]

I sympathise… having had a gay neighbour who lived upstairs. I feltlike telling him to go away, but instead I prayed for him and after 7 months he moved out. Just before this, we were chatting and then started to really talk. He told me how the gay community is really devious and untrustworthy. I listened a lot and then shared with him a theory about homosexuals’ need for a father that drives their sexual promiscuity; but that just leads to more frustration and misery. He was really interested and wanted to talk more… I just hoped by showing him love but also that homosexual activity is wrong and futile, it may have some effect. Also, today I told a desperate young man that looking for another girlfriend would do nothing for him; that he is in a crisis where he can turn himself and his life over to God … only God can satisfy the hunger in his soul… I am repulsed by the lifestyle of some people I meet, but oh, how I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was in my miserable sinful life!

 

[Katie1723]

WhatMeWorry:

Actually, Mrs. Kravitz was on “Bewitched.”
But I understand your point.

I had to laugh reading this…AND I agree…Don’t be a Mrs Kravitz. It is a shame that things like this happen, really.
Teach your children as best as you can. Instill in them the values you have and want them to have.Give them a good foundation and what they encounter in the world beyond their livingroom will be able to be dealt with.
~ Kathy ~

 

[Fergal]

I am suprised by your appeal for help. You are not the one in need of help. You are bearing witness to the truth by living a humble life in line with the truth. This is what we are called to do.

Did you ever stop to think why the Lord decided to plant you in their midst??

I would ask you please to spend a little time contemplating this reading from Holy Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:8-14
You were darkness once, but now you are light in the Lord; be like children of light, for the effects of the light are seen in complete goodness and right living and truth. Try to discover what the Lord wants of you, having nothing to do with the futile works of darkness but exposing them by contrast. The things which are done in secret are things that people are ashamed even to speak of; but anything exposed by the light will be illuminated and anything illuminated turns into light. That is why it is said:
Wake up from your sleep, rise from the dead, Christ will shine on you.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

StratusRose:

I agree with TarAshly and Space Ghost. You sound like Mrs. Kravitz on “I Dream of Genie.”

Your attitude is unbecoming. This trashy behavior is in your face and sadly it is all over the place.

My advice is kindness and when oppotunity arises invite and witness. You aren’t being nosey at all. It’s impossible not to see.

Dan L

 

[Giannawannabe]

felra,

I guess I’m in the minority supporting your concerns. I think you’re justified to be upset with the apparent fornicating, cohabitating neighbors when you have children.

With that being said, some of the advice given is very sound. Be kind and charitable toward your neighbors. If an opportunity arises, share your faith. Perhaps if your neighbors see that your a faithful person, they may not be so “in your face” with their indiscretions.

One of our neighbors just moved (happy dance!!!). It was difficult as they had a daughter who wanted to play at our house all of the time. For a long time we let her. Until she started bringing up sexual stories and inviting our daughter to “R” rated films (the neighbor girl was only 7 or 8 years old when this happened). This was a situation where her mom and her now husband cohabitated for a couple of years before they married. I did not allow our kids over there until they married. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Kids are inundated enough via TV, radio, and elsewhere with immoral lifestyles. We don’t need to be “accepting” of these lifestyles from our neighbors. Charitable, yes. Accepting, no.

 

[StratusRose]

GregoryPalamas:

Your attitude is unbecoming. This trashy behavior is in your face and sadly it is all over the place.

My advice is kindness and when oppotunity arises invite and witness. You aren’t being nosey at all. It’s impossible not to see.

Dan L

Wait just a minute here. Felra asked our opinion and we gave it to him. To be honest, I was trying to be lighthearted and funny. What can I say I like to make people laugh. If he didn’t want my (name removed by moderator)ut then his post should have said, “If you don’t agree with me, don’t bother replying.” Felra and I are on good terms, he and I are regulars around here, he probably did not take offense to what I said so neither should you. (if Felra did take offense, sorry Felra.)

 

[GregoryPalamas]

StratusRose:

Wait just a minute here. Felra asked our opinion and we gave it to him. To be honest, I was trying to be lighthearted and funny. What can I say I like to make people laugh. If he didn’t want my (name removed by moderator)ut then his post should have said, “If you don’t agree with me, don’t bother replying.” Felra and I are on good terms, he and I are regulars around here, he probably did not take offense to what I said so neither should you. (if Felra did take offense, sorry Felra.)

StratusRose,

I hear this **** all of the time. If I overreacted, I’m sorry. But I find it unhelpful to criticize people for trying to protect their children. We bought a few houses last year and rent them out. Most of the renters are cohabitors. Since I was a UM pastor for several years I have the authority to perform marriages. Actually, anyone can perform a civil marriage in most states, but most people don’t know that. I often offer to perform such a marriage. Sadly, no one has taken me up on my offer.

I do find that kindness works. I don’t harp on the subject but it does bother me and it is a bad example for young people. I’m just glad I went to a college that did not allow cohabitation and they strictly enforced it. The feminist movement and the sexual enslavement movement (disguised as sexual freedom) has changed this culture since the 1960’s. Thankfully, our sons remained aloof from it but were constantly surrounded by it.:crying:

It is possible to lead a holy life in a world filled with unholiness. “Life is difficult”. Let’s encourage one another to godliness.

Dan L

 

[felra]

Giannawannabe:

felra,

I guess I’m in the minority supporting your concerns. I think you’re justified to be upset with the apparent fornicating, cohabitating neighbors when you have children.

With that being said, some of the advice given is very sound. Be kind and charitable toward your neighbors. If an opportunity arises, share your faith. Perhaps if your neighbors see that your a faithful person, they may not be so “in your face” with their indiscretions.

We don’t need to be “accepting” of these lifestyles from our neighbors. Charitable, yes. Accepting, no.

Thanks. I am a bit surprised by the condescending attitude of some of the reply posters on this thread. Most have been charitable. I believe that too many Christians have been culturally conditioned to confuse having critical/discerning thoughts with being judgmental. I consider this as part of the discernment process on how best to 1) protect the boundaries of my family against the negative influences of the “world” and the devil, then 2) how best to be a witness to the Gospel for those in my sphere of my influence. I wonder how many of those most critical of my ponderings are not currently responsible for the formation of impressionable children.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

felra:

Thanks. I am a bit surprised by the condescending attitude of some of the reply posters on this thread. Most have been charitable. I believe that too many Christians have been culturally conditioned to confuse having critical/discerning thoughts with being judgmental. I consider this as part of the discernment process on how best to 1) protect the boundaries of my family against the negative influences of the “world” and the devil, then 2) how best to be a witness to the Gospel for those in my sphere of my influence. I wonder how many of those most critical of my ponderings are not currently responsible for the formation of impressionable children.

Felra,

I pray for all young parents who are trying to rear their children in a Godly atmosphere. Keep up the good work. We are in the minority in this purient anti-culture in which we live, but then, so was St. Monica.

Dan L

 

[felra]

GregoryPalamas:

Felra,

I pray for all young parents who are trying to rear their children in a Godly atmosphere. Keep up the good work. We are in the minority in this purient anti-culture in which we live, but then, so was St. Monica.

Dan L

From one parent to another fighting the battle for the minds and souls of children, thanks!

 

[PiusXIII]

The_Angelus:

I think your best option may be to ignore.

Ignoring a problem like this doesn’t make it go away. That’s no answer.

I take a cue from a great Christian and a great American—Ronald Reagan. The Berlin wall would have never fallen if he wouldn’t have looked the Soviet people in the eye and called them the evil empire. If he would have put his head in the sand and said, “Oh, maybe if I’m nice to them things will get better” nothing would have happened.

You’ve got to handle the situation head-on. If you’ve got a neighbor living in sin, you’ve got to confront your neighbor and say in no uncertain terms that the behavior is unacceptable. Call the sin by its name. Call him a fornicator loud enough so that he can hear it. He will have to examine his conscience and hopefully will mend his ways.

Also—pray for this neighbor.

 

[Bobby_Jim]

I’m just curious if you are sure that the woman you saw leaving in the morning wasn’t the man’s sister, or cousin, or something like that?

I just had the experience of traveling to a family wedding with my sister - neither of our spouses could attend. But people would see us each wearing wedding rings, and assume we were married to each other. If they saw we had different last names, they might assume something much worse. But unless they looked closely to see the resemblance, they would have been totally wrong in their assumptions.

 

[misericordie]

Bobby Jim:

I’m just curious if you are sure that the woman you saw leaving in the morning wasn’t the man’s sister, or cousin, or something like that?

I just had the experience of traveling to a family wedding with my sister - neither of our spouses could attend. But people would see us each wearing wedding rings, and assume we were married to each other. If they saw we had different last names, they might assume something much worse. But unless they looked closely to see the resemblance, they would have been totally wrong in their assumptions.

These questions sound like some people here in my building who when they are outside, and see another neighboor ask: “where are you going”? Where have you come from? Or so, what are you going to do now? I just say: “WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW”? I cannot stand busy bodies.

 

[Lillith]

Help!..surrounded by fornicating, cohabitating FAMILY…

Yup…my three siblings have all cohabitated…very difficult situation, explaining to my three girls, but I found in the end that I didn’t have to explain anything to them, the lifestyle will teach it’s own lessons. It is a miserable and sinful existance, without God, and not so coincidentally, my three siblings have been miserable and wrought with troubles. None of the relationships typically, statistically, work well. There have been multiple “live-in” relationships for all three, Two of my three siblings are sisters and report feeling used, and one of those two sisters just lost everything that she and her live-in had worked for because of a break up, and the fact that she has no legal right to anything unless she sues. The other sister has three different children by three different dads…and my brother…never married four different live ins and he is the butt of all family jokes…

Yup…the lifestyle teaches itself, all I have to do, and can do, is point this stuff out (which I do)

Good Luck…and God Bless
Lillith

 

[snoopy]

Bobby Jim:

I’m just curious if you are sure that the woman you saw leaving in the morning wasn’t the man’s sister, or cousin, or something like that?

I just had the experience of traveling to a family wedding with my sister - neither of our spouses could attend. But people would see us each wearing wedding rings, and assume we were married to each other. If they saw we had different last names, they might assume something much worse. But unless they looked closely to see the resemblance, they would have been totally wrong in their assumptions.

I don’t understand why you are worried about a situation you don’t know anything about. So I agree with Bobby Jim. Maybe the women were sisters, or cousins or friends. There is nothing wrong with staying over at a relative or friend’s house overnight. It’s called being hospitable. I offer my home to people all the time. As my dear mother in law who loved to fish used to say: Mind your own bobber!!!