Help!...surrounded by fornicating, cohabitating neighbors

[felra]

JKirkLVNV:

Which is an excellent example of what I’m talking about. You know no more about me than I have just shared and it isn’t your business to know.

You obviously missed my attempt at humor to lighten up the exchange (i.e., see smilie face).

At the risk of getting suspended for engaging in tit for tat, I am able to access ancillary information about you on this forum (from User Profile, previous posts). Does this mean that I presume to know your fast held values and beliefs? No. Does it give an indication about your values and beliefs as a basis for forming an impression of you? Yes. In all honesty, are you going to contend that you do not similarly engage in forming impressions of others (while not going to forlorn conclusions)? Let’s see: I say, “O course I am reserving my judgment” and you retort “wow, it certainly doesn’t sound like it”. Let’s not be calling the kettle black here. With that, I will bow out of further exchanges with you on this thread.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

felra:

With that, I will bow out of further exchanges with you on this thread.

And, by way of explication, I will say that the only reason I responded to your thread at all is because I had a concern about the impression one might get regarding Catholicism from your posts.

 

[TarAshly]

JKirkLVNV:

And, by way of explication, I will say that the only reason I responded to your thread at all is because I had a concern about the impression one might get regarding Catholicism from your posts.

Ok OK boys lets be nice. all though i agree, the reason i popped into this post it was the same reason as Kirk had, and i agree you can get an impression about people from their profiles and posts (thats the point isnt it?) but no need to bicker with each other. "Can’t we all just get along! "

 

[Aesq]

felra:

Who is assuming the worse? I am simply hoping that this young man is not short changing himself, though the statistics are strongly against him.* I* *am *getting to know this young man as opportunity allows. I am being prudent in wanting to know the value base of my next door neighbor(s) who will inadvertantly have contact/interactions with my family. What is wrong with this? Are not you the one guilty of making assumptions about another?

I am still gathering the facts, hoping for the best, but, so far the information I have has not ruled out that I have another statistic, that has been ballooned by this recent generation, living next door to me. Why should this not give me cause for concern regarding how to filter, manage the interactions that I will have with this next neighbor of mine, so as not to contaminate the Chrisitian value base of my family; if it turns out that he is living an arrrangement that directly contradicts my values? O course I am reserving my judgment, but being prudent in hoping for the best, preparing for (not assuming) the worst.

I am not assuming anything. Read the title of your thread.

 

[Aesq]

felra:

Now, a young adult gentleman has moved into the house next door. Two nights, two different females spent the night. I find myself wincing, preparing for the worst, and forming an impression and disgustful attitude toward this person already. The houses are in close proximity.

Again I am not assuming these are your words not mine.

 

[felra]

Aesq:

I am not assuming anything. Read the title of your thread.

Yes, let’s point the finger outward when confronted with your own behavior. I will spare myself the futility of quoting your words back at you.

 

[felra]

Aesq:

Again I am not assuming these are your words not mine.

Again, this is beginning to take on the tone of a child pointing the finger at someone else to cover up their own misbehavior.

 

[Aesq]

Quote my words back to me all day long. I have nothing to hide from. The title of your post and the words you used in your first post are by the words themselves assuming sin in others. I merely pointed out that assuming sinful conduct in others is a little concerning for me. Please quote my words. I am not finger pointing. I am sorry if you took it that way. I was simply expressing my concern. If you do not expect the others to comment then don’t ask for comments.

 

[Aesq]

felra:

Again, this is beginning to take on the tone of a child pointing the finger at someone else to cover up their own misbehavior.

What are you talking about?

 

[mickey_doolan]

Felra , I respect your stand on the issue but I am concerned that your neigbor is going to pick up bad vibes from you and he will probably never know why. He may see you as a difficult one to get along with and quite frankly he may be disappointed in having a neighbor like that.
I don’t think your children are going to be that affected as they know right from wrong. I assume your children go to school and they will encounter freinds whose parents live different standards and lifestyles.
Believe me from experience , that whats goes on in other peoples houses is not what you always expect and the reality is it is their house/home ,they pay rent,mortgages , pay power ,telephone etc just like the rest of us .
Do make him welcomed in your neighborhood .Like I said in my previous thread he could be a reliable neighbor when you need him. You will have to make the move since he is new.

 

[mickey_doolan]

Felra , do you think God wants you to harbor bitterness towards your neighbor . What would Jesus do ?.
He will say make peace within yourself and to your neighbor.
God has given you a challenge.

 

[Peace-bwu]

I truly understand your neighborhood woes. I have three young children and live in base housing. (My husband is in the Air Force. We have seen everything in the book. “Parents” who spend every night drinking and raising heck in their front yard who say the worst four letter words, actually screaming them across the yard. They would talk about sex and every other thing. Young teenage (18 &19 year old newlyweds who were divorced within a year, and we shared walls with them so were forced to be a part of far too many gorey details. The also had three dogs that were uncared for living in the backyard, sharing a chainlink fence. By the end, base housing forced them to get rid of their pets but they still never cleaned up after them. My husband finally cleaned their backyard and filled 2 kitchen size trashbags full of dog poop. Three months after they got rid of the dogs, members of base housing maintenance came running out of their house, literally throwing up in the yard because the basement was piled high with feces. They had a guinea pig living wild in the bathroom doing his business wherever, a cat living in a spare bedroom and a rabbit living in the other. There was animal feces all over the walls, trash all over the house and we had to share a wall with them. The area we live in has an extremely high cost real estate market, and my husband’s pay has not allowed us to move off base. As soon as he made rank we moved to senior NCO housing and have alot more space and the ppl around us care about their careers so they keep up with regulations.

Directly across the street, our neighbors have a young gay couple living with them who moved cross country to have a fresh start in our more “gay friendly” community.

After over 5 years of these bad living conditions, we have maintained our home as an island of refuge in a world of immorality. We didn’t have the choice to move, or we would have sooner. We homeschool and treat our home as a literal refuge, a place where the Holy Spirit is welcome to dwell in our lives. If you have the option to move, consider that and pray about it. Consider this: You will have the evils of the world all around you, and no matter what you must keep your home a refuge from the evils of the outside world. This gives you plenty of opportunity to discuss issues with your children, to teach them how important it is to persevere in riteousness, even when surrounded by the evils of the world. We are called to be a shining beacon in a world of lost souls. Be kind to your neighbors, treat them with Christian love. You have an opportunity to be a witness of genuine Christianity. Be strong yet kind. That doesnt’ mean that you allow the neighbors to walk all over you, expect respect, yet seek ways to be kind. If it comes up in conversation let them know what your family is all about. I know this is easier said than done, I have been through it, but we came through with flying colors because God was our refuge in the storm.

 

[Celeste88]

Try to ignore these neighbors as best as you can. You are going to have some kind of problem where ever you go with neighbors . As long as they are not breaking the law there is little you can do. My Protestant friends would probably stick Bible tracts in their mailbox but I think that would just annoy them and might make the neighbors angry.

Right now I am being annoyed by my neighbor living right above me who’s been rehabbing his condo since July 2004!. Almost every day I hear sawing, hammering, banging, etc. I am trying to have patience knowing some day this will all stop. :crying:

And some day your neighbors will pack up and leave or maybe this guy with the two girlfriends will settle down and marry one, or maybe you can stick it out till you move out. I keep telling myself that all things change…only God is changeless. :bible1:

 

[Peace-bwu]

I forgot to mention that, although I protected my children, I treated my neighbors with love and compassion. Later, after getting to know them, I learned that most of them were non-practicing Catholics. I was able to answer alot of questions they had, There were times I made them dinner when they were sick. See, we lived in a small townhouse in a unit of five houses in one building and directly in front of us was a small yard that separated us from the same kind of 5 unit building and directly behind us were two more 5 unit buildings. Our backyard was about 10’X 20 ft. with a small patio. When my children went outside to playi in their backyard they were under thread of attack from the snarling, barking dogs who would snap at them thorugh the fence and try to bite me when I took the trash out. The smell was nauseating. It was a health hazzard. We couldnt let our children play outside, and in the front yard they were often exposed to the F word and details about sex. We could smell the animal feces through the walls, we couldn’t open our windows because of cigarette smoke and dog poo. There was no garage. We couldnt’ go out of our house without being in constant contact with our neighbors, there was no other option.

I believe everything happens for a reason, so we just tried to keep praying and be patient. We had a couple of good neighbors. In the time we lived there our two yr old daughter was bit by a dog and I was attacked by a dog which ran out of it’s owners house. I was pregnant and carryign my two yr old son. I was not happy that day.

You can get through this, it could not possibly be as bad as my family had it for five years, and we were able to treat our neighbors with kindness and patience and even help them at times. The worst neighbor was a lady whose husband was a military police officer. She was extrememly nosey and knew everything that was going on with everyone, she was always causing loads of trouble

 

[RC_Traditional]

Just look at Lot and so its better to stick with #3 pray/fast, be patient, bide time for example/words to witness to the truth of the Gospel (with the sinful lifestyle as a symptom of need for conversion). Maybe thats his relatives who are visiting? Dont judge anyhow just do your duty. RC

 

[felra]

mickey doolan:

Felra , do you think God wants you to harbor bitterness towards your neighbor . What would Jesus do ?.
He will say make peace within yourself and to your neighbor.
God has given you a challenge.

Thanks. Beyond my initial disappointment, I have been exercising my options #3 and biding my time for a positive witness.

 

[felra]

Peace-bwu:

I truly understand your neighborhood woes.

After over 5 years of these bad living conditions, we have maintained our home as an island of refuge in a world of immorality. We didn’t have the choice to move, or we would have sooner. We homeschool and treat our home as a literal refuge, a place where the Holy Spirit is welcome to dwell in our lives. If you have the option to move, consider that and pray about it. Consider this: You will have the evils of the world all around you, and no matter what you must keep your home a refuge from the evils of the outside world. This gives you plenty of opportunity to discuss issues with your children, to teach them how important it is to persevere in riteousness, even when surrounded by the evils of the world. We are called to be a shining beacon in a world of lost souls. Be kind to your neighbors, treat them with Christian love. You have an opportunity to be a witness of genuine Christianity. Be strong yet kind. That doesnt’ mean that you allow the neighbors to walk all over you, expect respect, yet seek ways to be kind. If it comes up in conversation let them know what your family is all about. I know this is easier said than done, I have been through it, but we came through with flying colors because God was our refuge in the storm.

This is mature and great advice. Thank you!

 

[felra]

Peace-bwu:

I forgot to mention that, although I protected my children, I treated my neighbors with love and compassion. Later, after getting to know them, I learned that most of them were non-practicing Catholics.

This is my impression of this new (now a few months old neighbor) neighbor and his cohabitating female friend that they are but a statistic of this generation in need of hearing (through gestures, actions and hopefully to the point of ears if I gain a hearing) the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am taking the lead of Jesus when He stated, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” in short changing themselves. I realize that i am not the one to judge, only to live and shine the light. Yes, things happen for a reason.

 

[felra]

RC Traditional:

Just look at Lot and so its better to stick with #3 pray/fast, be patient, bide time for example/words to witness to the truth of the Gospel (with the sinful lifestyle as a symptom of need for conversion). Maybe thats his relatives who are visiting? Dont judge anyhow just do your duty. RC

My DW and I are exercising options #3. Even this past weekend, I was running into my garage to hand this new neighbor a spray can of wasp killer after we discovered a hornets nest in his yard that was pestering my kids.

Bye the way: This is not a visiting female relative, nor a platonic roommate arrangement. My DW and her girlfriend inadvertedly witnessed enough on open display through unobstructed living room window while parked in the driveway chatting after a girl’s night out. (they had themselves a good chuckle).

 

[beckyann2597]

StratusRose:

I agree with TarAshly and Space Ghost. You sound like Mrs. Kravitz on “I Dream of Genie.”

Mrs. Kravitz was on “Bewitched”