HELP!! - Wife converting to Mormonism

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Something just isn’t right about this. You need to get control of your wife. Forbid her from interacting with the LDS.

Mormons have, traditionally, held in high regard the family unit. Their custom is to put the man at the head of the family unit (as the Bible states).

“a woman cannot share the blessings of this priesthood without a husband, sealed in the temple."

Mckinlay, Lynn A. “Patriarchal Order of the Priesthood.” Encyclopedia of Mormonism. By Daniel H. Ludlow. New York: Macmillan, 1992. 1067.
 
Marie5890 said:
Zammos I see you have recently signed on a read the thread. Has any of this feedback been helpful to the dilemma you now face with your wife and children?
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Mr. Zammos has signed in quite a lot since you posted this, I too wonder if anything posted here has been helpful, and in what way.
 
The_Sojourner said:
Something just isn’t right about this. You need to get control of your wife. Forbid her from interacting with the LDS.

Mormons have, traditionally, held in high regard the family unit. Their custom is to put the man at the head of the family unit (as the Bible states).

“a woman cannot share the blessings of this priesthood without a husband, sealed in the temple."
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I’m not so sure forbidding her will do anything but make her resent her husband and aggravate the issues they’re already having. If he just outright forbids it, she’ll probably just open herself up more to Mormonism. Additionally, it’s not right. We want to have our free right to practice our faith, we can’t expect to prohibit another person of doing the same.

The OP must express all his apprehensions to his wife in a loving manner, and try to patiently show her the truth of real Christianity in order to convince her to return.
 
Thanks everyone for your replies. I have read them all and it’s been very helpful, some more than others. We are continuing to talk through this and I’m trying to keep an open mind and approach it with love and kindness. In the spirit of trying to keep this brief, my biggest concern is the children and she’s in agreement that they continue to be raised Catholic. Please continue to pray for me and my family, I can feel its power coming over me already.
 
zammos1 said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. I have read them all and it’s been very helpful, some more than others. We are continuing to talk through this and I’m trying to keep an open mind and approach it with love and kindness. In the spirit of trying to keep this brief, my biggest concern is the children and she’s in agreement that they continue to be raised Catholic. Please continue to pray for me and my family, I can feel its power coming over me already.
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I know you are trying to understand her, but keeping an open mind in this case could mean that your wife actually becomes a Mormon. I think you should ask her seriously not to do this at least for a time. The longer the time frame you have, the more you can insert reason into this process. She is being recruited by a false religion that is akin to a cult. Please do not allow this to happen to her.
 
zammos1 said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. I have read them all and it’s been very helpful, some more than others. We are continuing to talk through this and I’m trying to keep an open mind and approach it with love and kindness. In the spirit of trying to keep this brief, my biggest concern is the children and she’s in agreement that they continue to be raised Catholic. Please continue to pray for me and my family, I can feel its power coming over me already.
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Well, I feel like we’re butting into your personal affairs, so I’ll only say. If she’s been sneaky about her own Mormon activities, what makes you think she won’t continue to do the same? Trust in a relationship is vital, and it requires open communications from both people.
 
These kinds of decisions can put an incredible strain on a marriage and a family. On more than one occasion, I’ve given this advice to people in your wife’s situation:

My church really isn’t in the business of driving wedges between family members. I can’t tell you what to do, but I would suggest that the feelings of your spouse should weigh very heavily as you approach serious choices like this.

(This seems to be good advice to me, that applies in any similar situation, not just LDS related.)
 
You are in my prayers. I believe that any church which denies the eternity of God and the Trinity. That denies the historic understanding of the Deity and Humanity of Jesus. That denies the basics of the faith is to be avoided. I know there is a lot of people going from Protestant to Catholic and vice versa, but at least we agree on many doctrines and share much in common. But the Mormon church is outside of historic Christianity all together. I would indeed ask your wife to wait and then together as a couple explore the Catholic faith. As an Anglican, I share much with the faith of the One Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.
 
I’m pretty sure I’ve read by ex-mormons on this site that they believe Adam is God and that Jesus was a polygamist. Did you know that? It is very scary. Not to mention, the Book of Mormon is not a biblical book. It was written in the 19th century by ONE individual. The whole back story of Mormons is creepy. I would not be okay with this if I were you. I would stomp my foot down. In my experience, I had a best friend who was mormon. We never discussed religion while we were friends (for 5 years.) So, I had nothing against mormons until I started talking with the missionaries whom I welcomed with open arms, but when it came down to it, every time I tried to read the Book of Mormon, my body ached. Like there was something holding me back from reading it. After the third attempt of reading it, I thought, okay, instead of learning about another religion, which I instinctively felt was evil due to my physical reaction to trying to read their book, why don’t I learn about catholicism and what it teaches since I am baptized. And that’s how I came back to catholicism. There is so much to learn and read on catholicism. At my church our pastor has a library where we can check out books all about our faith, maybe your parish office might have the same? Right now I’m reading Rome Sweet Home: Our Journey to Catholicism by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They were both protestants. In fact, Scott was a Presbyterian minister who found his way into catholicism and his wife gradually warmed up to our faith and followed. They were both heavily educated in protestantism, but for Kimberly, she didn’t want to study what Scott was studying when he felt called to catholicism, it took her a while to be open to hearing and reading about it. It is a good read. I’m also reading The Mass of the Early Christians by Mike Aquilina because I wanted to learn more about how the Mass came to be what it is today. Our faith is stooped in 2000 years of history. If you wife has an open-mind to studying catholicism, she will sure be kept busy with all the books there are out there. If you don’t know where to start or what you would like to read, I’m sure you priest can be of assistance to you or you can search this website or ask us for books we’d recommend.
I hope I helped!
Good luck and God bless. :signofcross:
 
Janderich said:
Just a couple of points of clarification…

Mormons do not have a high rate of divorce nor do we encourage divorce even between spouses of different faiths. In fact those married in the Temple have a very low rate of divorce.
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Janderich, it’s good to see you posting again. I’ll just take issue with one aspect of this. There is one way LDS encourage divorce, particularly related to a interfaith marriage. The LDS spouse will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lose the longing for a Mormon mate who is “temple worthy”. The LDS spouse will forever expect that some day, the non-LDS spouse will cave into Mormonism. Some are more patient than others. I’ve talked to people whose marriage has ended in divorce in less than a few months, because one spouse converted to Mormonism, or one spouse left Mormonism. I’ve talked to people who tried to make it work for years and years. In the end, the Mormon spouse left because they believed getting to the highest level of the highest heaven was more important than their marriage. Once the LDS spouse is convinced the other will not convert, the marriage will end. I don’t know of one LDS interfaith marriage I can point to where this isn’t the case.

Anecdotally, to my own experience with my own family members, I’ve heard more than once where a divorcee of an interfaith marriage was consoled by LDS family members that “it was the right thing to do”. LDS support those who leave their interfaith marriages. They view those who do so as making a difficult, but “righteous” decision. I see it as only a matter of time, the non-LDS spouse who stays true to their own faith, will see eventually that the LDS spouse leaves. The OP has very good reason to fear for his marriage and be very concerned.

It is one of the main reasons that Mormons who no longer believe, pretend they do. They don’t want to lose their marriages and so will do what it takes so that doesn’t happen. Showing up for church once a week is seen as a small price to pay for keeping the family together, but they no longer hold any belief in Mormonism. Some are even atheists or agnostics. But to “the ward” they are a believing Mormon.
 
RebeccaJ said:
The LDS spouse will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lose the longing for a Mormon mate who is “temple worthy”.
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Just out of curiosity, should the OP’s wife get baptized, do you think that he should not long for her to become a believing Catholic?
Once the LDS spouse is convinced the other will not convert, the marriage will end. I don’t know of one LDS interfaith marriage I can point to where this isn’t the case.
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I personally know of three, and I’ve encountered stories from at least a dozen more. The three I know personally:
  • A guy I used to work with in Utah. His wife was LDS, he was not. He once told me “You mormons are ok, now that you’ve finally accepted me and my strange ways.”
  • An LDS coworker, after his LDS wife died, married a nonmormon. They have the specific understanding and agreement that “time only” is just fine with both of them.
  • A lady in my congregation is married to a nonmember. He’s apparently an alcoholic, and has possibly been physically abusive in the past. I’m not privy to everything every mormon has ever said to her on the subject, but I’ve gone over to his house to do a service project, and my wife has talked with her about alanon and dealing with a husband with problems like his. We’re happy to see her when she’s at church, and whenever she has a story about how he’s doing better, we celebrate with her.
So no, Rebecca, you cannot truthfully say that an interfaith marriage will end once the mormon loses hope the other will convert.

Does it happen? Absolutely. Is it an LDS-only phenomenon? Hardly. For example, I don’t know anyone personally whose spouse divorced them because they become mormon, but I do know several who were kicked out of their homes and disowned by their Catholic parents.
It is one of the main reasons that Mormons who no longer believe, pretend they do. They don’t want to lose their marriages and so will do what it takes so that doesn’t happen. Showing up for church once a week is seen as a small price to pay for keeping the family together, but they no longer hold any belief in Mormonism. Some are even atheists or agnostics. But to “the ward” they are a believing Mormon.
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Yes, I’ve heard several stories like this too. I’ve also heard more from nonbelieving mormons who like the culture and don’t want to lose it. Preserving and strengthening a marriage is on a lot of people’s minds. And I restate my earlier opinion, that it should be on the OP’s spouses mind too.
 
NeuroTypical said:
I do know several who were kicked out of their homes and disowned by their Catholic parents.

Yes, I’ve heard several stories like this too. I’ve also heard more from nonbelieving mormons who like the culture and don’t want to lose it. Preserving and strengthening a marriage is on a lot of people’s minds. And I restate my earlier opinion, that it should be on the OP’s spouses mind too.
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What a parent does does not reflect on the Church in its entirety. The Church would never encourage a person to kick them out, as far as I’m concerned. We are encouraged to be loving, always. What comes to my mind is the prodigal son. We want to always be available to them for their return.

What is more important, culture or the teachings of Jesus? The Catholic Church has the fullness of Christ in it. From what I’ve learned, LDS, don’t have a proper understanding of who Jesus is or was. Learning false teaching is not going to bring this woman closer to God. All I see is that it is going to divide this family. I don’t think she has a proper understanding of the repercussions of her actions. It’s too bad she doesn’t get involved in her Catholic parish. There are many good catholic families out there who can provide support and friendship. The more I get involved in my church, the more friends and acquaintances I meet. It’s wonderful to know that not everyone is a cafeteria catholic. I think she is looking in the wrong places for guidance.
 
NeuroTypical said:
Just out of curiosity, should the OP’s wife get baptized, do you think that he should not long for her to become a believing Catholic?
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Just out of curiosity, do you think Catholics believe they needs a spouse to have the full and non-abridged experience of heaven?

If not, the answer is ‘no’, and so your point is moot. Of course we hope that others are baptized, we don’t however, believe that our own eternal place in heaven is in jeopardy if they do not. But nice attempt at dodging what the real issue is.
I personally know of three, and I’ve encountered stories from at least a dozen more. The three I know personally:
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  • A guy I used to work with in Utah. His wife was LDS, he was not. He once told me “You mormons are ok, now that you’ve finally accepted me and my strange ways.”
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We’ll see, won’t we. As I said, some have more patience than others.
  • An LDS coworker, after his LDS wife died, married a nonmormon. They have the specific understanding and agreement that “time only” is just fine with both of them.
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Well this one doesn’t count and you know it. The LDS spouse already has her eternal mate lined up and waiting, so the current one is just a temporary fill-in. The OP’s spouse doesn’t have an eternal mate lined up, and so he isn’t what she needs for exaltation and neither is he is a temporary fill-in for a previous spouse that has died.
  • A lady in my congregation is married to a nonmember. He’s apparently an alcoholic, and has possibly been physically abusive in the past. I’m not privy to everything every mormon has ever said to her on the subject, but I’ve gone over to his house to do a service project, and my wife has talked with her about alanon and dealing with a husband with problems like his. We’re happy to see her when she’s at church, and whenever she has a story about how he’s doing better, we celebrate with her.
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An abusive relationship is NOT a good example. People living in fear don’t always make the decision that they would like to make.
So no, Rebecca, you cannot truthfully say that an interfaith marriage will end once the mormon loses hope the other will convert.
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You gave an example of one normal LDS interfaith marriage, with the guy saying how nice it is that Mormons will accept him. I hope you can see it isn’t a stellar example, that is based “feeling the love”. Rather, one of just being glad that Mormons will “put up with him”. Great.
Does it happen? Absolutely. Is it an LDS-only phenomenon? Hardly. For example, I don’t know anyone personally whose spouse divorced them because they become mormon, but I do know several who were kicked out of their homes and disowned by their Catholic parents.
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Not the same really, as living with a SPOUSE who believes their eternal reward is based on YOUR ACTIONS AND BELIEFS. I don’t know why you’re trying to play this down when temple marriage is the very central belief and practice of Mormons.
Yes, I’ve heard several stories like this too. I’ve also heard more from nonbelieving mormons who like the culture and don’t want to lose it. Preserving a marriage is on a lot of people’s minds. And I restate my earlier opinion, that it should be on the OP’s spouses mind too.
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Yes, it should. He should help his wife understand that her actions are going to change her view of marriage, her expectations of it and her views of him. She should decide if if her actions are worth her marriage.
 
NeuroTypical said:
Just out of curiosity, should the OP’s wife get baptized, do you think that he should not long for her to become a believing Catholic?
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Just to clarify, she is and will remain a Catholic. Her Catholic baptism is not canceled out by her possible LDS “baptism,” nor will she be a Mormon. She will be a Catholic who is not following the church, but she cannot simply walk away from her original baptism.
 
one question you could ask the mormons who are after her is how do they know moroni was not a devil sent by lucifer to damage the true Church?

typically, the mormon answers that question by telling the doubter to read the book of mormon and to ponder it in their heart and eventually their god will let you know it is true by your experiencing a warm feeling. of course, many sinful things will produce a warm feeling upon a person’s yielding to temptation.

a direct question for her might be why she would believe that Jesus would start a church He knew would fail and leave His followers without the truth for over 15 centuries?

the mormons deliberately divided my family also although a young and attractive woman was at the bottom of my nephew joining them. still, it did not happen until he has spent many late night hours with an adult mormon who worked on him to the point of exhaustion. of course, when he surrendered to the brainwashing a warm feeling resulted.

but, ultimately, moroni really was a devil, if moroni existed at all.
 
RebeccaJ said:
But nice attempt at dodging what the real issue is.
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Ouch Rebecca. It seems that every time I post here, I get accused of wilful deceit or dirty rhetorical tricks. And you don’t even know me.

But if it will help you think better of me:

Hey world and everyone in it - Mormons believe that marriage relationships are of great eternal significance. Mormons are taught (and often believe) that being sealed in the temple is of critical importance to acheiving the highest level of blessings God offers us.

I didn’t think we really kept it that secret. What with websites like mormontemples.org and ldschurchtemples.com, and the stuff you can find on sealings at lds.org, or mormons.org, the videos, the articles, the pamphlets, I don’t really think I deserve to be accused of dodging or downplaying it just because I didn’t talk about it in one post.
 
NeuroTypical said:
Ouch Rebecca. It seems that every time I post here, I get accused of wilful deceit or dirty rhetorical tricks. And you don’t even know me.

But if it will help you think better of me:

Hey world and everyone in it - Mormons believe that marriage relationships are of great eternal significance. Mormons are taught (and often believe) that being sealed in the temple is of critical importance to acheiving the highest level of blessings God offers us.

I didn’t think we really kept it that secret. What with websites like mormontemples.org and ldschurchtemples.com, and the stuff you can find on sealings at lds.org, or mormons.org, the videos, the articles, the pamphlets, I don’t really think I deserve to be accused of dodging or downplaying it just because I didn’t talk about it in one post.
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Proselytizing doesn’t help with your image!
 
Occasionally it works the other way.

One of my customers brought his wife into the store to buy her a Catholic Bible. She was LDS and was received into the Catholic Church last year. 👍

They’ve been married for more than 30 years. He’s a cradle Catholic.
 
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