M
montanaman
Guest
First of all, I want to say that I am so glad Catholic Answers got this Forum online. Even though it’s a disgusting orange color, I’ve been coming here several times throughout the day. It’s SO good to have a place full of people of a like mind who are, at the same time, human. (I used to go to another Catholic Forum, and you’d get banned for asking tough questions). As far as I can tell, everyone is incredibly knowledgable and compassionate. Before, I’d met one Catholic who was both intelligent, thoughtful, orthodox and yet completely, well, “human.” Now here’s a forum full of people like that.
I don’t know how to phrase my question quite right, and I struggled with the title because it seemed so trite. Also, I’m slipping into a cynical despair where I can see no solution to the problem. So, I guess I’ll just lay out the situation and any help will be greatly appreciated.
It seems ridiculous to write about a girlfriend, but I love her very much and we are talking seriously about marriage. She’s 31, I’m 30. I’m a cradle Catholic, she’s “nothing.” I was a hard-core apologist back in the early 90’s (I started my own Apologetics Club on campus), but after a year at Franciscan U., I sort of overloaded and wandered for a while. I was still a Catholic snob–I couldn’t imagine being any other religion–but I had no faith and I, um, well, didn’t exactly live up to Church teachings.
Now, with a little age and a trifle more maturity, I’m trying to come back. Generally speaking, I know what needs to be done, but that’s where the trouble is. My girlfriend is “basically good” as the modern conventional wisdom goes, but she’s almost hostile toward Catholicism. She knows I’d raise the kids Catholic, but she says she’d want them to go to Protestant churches for balance. (I know–it’s odd, considering she has no real “belief system.” In fact, she’s not even sure the Church has a compelling refutation of polytheism–it’s part of the collage of fashionable things she’s “believed in” through her college years).
The basic problem: I love her. We had some rocky times in the beginning, but nowadays we’re sickeningly cute and cuddly. We even use the “L” word with reckless abandon. But as I was driving to her place yesterday the contradictions and hypocrisies of my behavior hit me all at once. I realized that going into a marriage without a strong partner would just be utterly impossible. “I” don’t want to “convert” her, but I do want her to see what I do in the Church, and God, etc. So, how DOES one present things to a somewhat hostile unbeliever with all the fashionable pretensions about other-worldly questions in a compelling way?
Anyone? Anyone? Is there a book I can get for her? Has anyone had similar experiences? I’ve been a poor example of a good Christian, mainly because of what she sees as “arrogance.” She’s absolutely right–I HAVE been arrogant, but I’ve mellowed and I’m always willing to discuss.
I know that when it comes down to it, no one, not even someone I love as much as her, can stand between me and God. I just don’t want it to come to that choice, and I’m willing to break my back to avoid it.
Thanks all,
MM
I don’t know how to phrase my question quite right, and I struggled with the title because it seemed so trite. Also, I’m slipping into a cynical despair where I can see no solution to the problem. So, I guess I’ll just lay out the situation and any help will be greatly appreciated.
It seems ridiculous to write about a girlfriend, but I love her very much and we are talking seriously about marriage. She’s 31, I’m 30. I’m a cradle Catholic, she’s “nothing.” I was a hard-core apologist back in the early 90’s (I started my own Apologetics Club on campus), but after a year at Franciscan U., I sort of overloaded and wandered for a while. I was still a Catholic snob–I couldn’t imagine being any other religion–but I had no faith and I, um, well, didn’t exactly live up to Church teachings.
Now, with a little age and a trifle more maturity, I’m trying to come back. Generally speaking, I know what needs to be done, but that’s where the trouble is. My girlfriend is “basically good” as the modern conventional wisdom goes, but she’s almost hostile toward Catholicism. She knows I’d raise the kids Catholic, but she says she’d want them to go to Protestant churches for balance. (I know–it’s odd, considering she has no real “belief system.” In fact, she’s not even sure the Church has a compelling refutation of polytheism–it’s part of the collage of fashionable things she’s “believed in” through her college years).
The basic problem: I love her. We had some rocky times in the beginning, but nowadays we’re sickeningly cute and cuddly. We even use the “L” word with reckless abandon. But as I was driving to her place yesterday the contradictions and hypocrisies of my behavior hit me all at once. I realized that going into a marriage without a strong partner would just be utterly impossible. “I” don’t want to “convert” her, but I do want her to see what I do in the Church, and God, etc. So, how DOES one present things to a somewhat hostile unbeliever with all the fashionable pretensions about other-worldly questions in a compelling way?
Anyone? Anyone? Is there a book I can get for her? Has anyone had similar experiences? I’ve been a poor example of a good Christian, mainly because of what she sees as “arrogance.” She’s absolutely right–I HAVE been arrogant, but I’ve mellowed and I’m always willing to discuss.
I know that when it comes down to it, no one, not even someone I love as much as her, can stand between me and God. I just don’t want it to come to that choice, and I’m willing to break my back to avoid it.
Thanks all,
MM
)
