Help with public school providing sexual content to students

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I would certainly vet any future books for the duration. If your daughter enjoys reading, find some good recommendations on Catholic books.

This situation would be worse if your daughter did not feel as impacted by the trash she had to read. That speaks of a higher level of holiness about her, and that is a good thing. It also suggests she might be open to the idea of doing an Novena to purge her mind and heart of these new influences. I would give that some thought and suggest that to her.
 
ChunkMonk said:
When were we commanded to be “of this world?"
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That’s not what Little Flower said. There is difference between living in this world, which we most certainly do, and being “of this world” which means being “worldly”, materialistic.
 
Thank you, and you are right. I was trying to express that if people are not free to reject what they find to be disgusting or what they don’t want to be exposed to, and they are forced to read or watch it, it is a violation of the purity of their minds. We should be free to defend our physical purity, but also defend our minds from attack or temptation or corruption or whatever term best describes the instance that comes to mind.

I am sorry that the term I used was offensive. I did not intend to equate that sort of violation with physical rape in order to minimize the impact of physical rape, although in the way I communicated it that was a reasonable reaction. I am sorry. Thank you for saying so.

I do not mean that they shouldn’t read about diverse experiences. Sexually explicit material causes a physiological reaction that is particularly strong in adolescents. At the risk of drastically oversimplifying a complex issue: if it is before they have reached sexual maturity, their bodies and minds process sexual experiences differently. When they are sexually mature, their physiology, including their neurobiology, can handle sexual encounters in a balanced way. Those effects cannot be modified by conversation. They are immediate and physical.

I want my daughter to have a healthy sexuality. I want her to see sexuality as a beautiful participation in God’s plan for procreation and unity and family. I did not want her first sexually arousing experience to be a description of a person having sex with a prostitute after shooting four innocent people in the face.

It isn’t dealing with the issue of prostitution that I object to. It is the sexually explicit presentation of the acts that are offensive to me.
 
I don’t get your objection. If your daughter is to fragile to read In Cold Blood, how in the world can she even be able to attend school? I understand your wanting to opt out of a book you find offensive, but there seems to be something else going on here.

I read In Cold Blood as a freshman at a Catholic High School twenty five years ago. The book is an American masterpiece of the 20th century. It’s not nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be. The description of the murders were the most intense part of the book anyway, not the escapades of Perry’s mother.
 
Thank you so much! I am very grateful that it stood out to her, and that she came to me about it. God is merciful—how bad could it have gotten for her if she had not found the courage to tell me now!

A novena would be perfect. She has been listening to praise and worship music when she can’t get it out of her head, and praying the St. Michael prayer. She prays a rosary to fall asleep already. She says it shields her from the world and let’s her have peace.

I’ll have her pick a Saint and find a good novena. Thank you!
 
1Lord1Faith said:
I don’t get your objection. If your daughter is to fragile to read In Cold Blood, how in the world can she even be able to attend school? I understand your wanting to opt out of a book you find offensive, but there seems to be something else going on here.

I read In Cold Blood as a freshman at a Catholic High School twenty five years ago. The book is an American masterpiece of the 20th century. It’s not nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be. The description of the murders were the most intense part of the book anyway, not the escapades of Perry’s mother.
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There IS something else going on here. The world offers us these themes of creation being misused to demean mankind, rather than of creation being used to bring mankind closer to our Father in Heaven. My daughter was not made for this world. She was made for more. So were you!

Unwanted exposure to sexually explicit material at this age is a threat because it predisposes children to sexual sin and sexual addiction.

Avoid the near occasion of sin. I am trying to! And I am being undermined.

I’m not afraid of sexuality. It is a beautiful part of God’s plan and a wonderful gift. It is precisely because it is something sacred that it is so reprehensible when it is profaned.

She is not too fragile for In Cold Blood. She is too young.

And yes, In Cold Blood profanes sexuality. Not just when they watch their mother having intercourse with multiple strange men, and not just when it describes the scene with the prostitute, but also when it depicts the multiple rape experiences one of the murderers had with the “queens” in the merchant marines, and when it describes the other murderer’s attraction to pre-adolescent girls and indicates the number of victims he has left in his wake. And when he approaches one and holds her hand and she squirms to get away. And when one is considering raping one of the four murder victims because she is a teen.

The description of the murders was bloody and graphic, as you said. Murder is that way. That is an honest depiction of murder.

The depictions of sexuality were violent, ugly instances of degradation. That is a dishonest representation of what sexuality is meant to be.
 
If she doesn’t want her daughter exposed to these things then that is that. She already made that clear. She is the mother of that child and has to be held accountable to God for how she raises her, not you, so the way I see it, you don’t have much business telling her she needs to do things YOUR way since your way is the total opposite of what she wants. Did you not read where she said her daughter has been having problems because of being exposed to that material, or does imposing your own ever-so-enlightened view matter to you more than the welfare of the child? The answer’s pretty clear to me…not to mention that your opinion in just nonsense. Her daughter didn’t “demonize” anything, she was traumatized after being exposed to something that her mother would never have wanted her to be reading to begin with. According to your rationale, she should “help her understand” things even more wicked and obscene because that would somehow “help” her to grow intellectually. So she could be intellectually superior like you, right? Should she take her to a live sex show or an execution so she can “learn to deal with it”?

I am a tad curious to know if you have a “comfortable life”, or if you only read about “discomfort” in books? Maybe you wouldn’t have time to read bad books if you moved to a developing country and spent your money and time helping people who live “uncomfortable” lives. Perhaps you could break out of your own comfortable lifestyle (or better yet, mindstyle) by experiencing cultures that don’t permit corruption of their youth in the name of intellectual superiority. Most humans on this planet don’t have either the luxury or desire to be cynical armchair intellectuals. They’re too busy trying to make the best lives they can for their families.

The world we live in is wicked. It doesn’t need to be “demonized”. Satan is the god of this world. Christians are supposed to be in the world, not of it.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
You are grossly misrepresenting this book.
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When did you last read it? I feel like maybe we aren’t talking about the same book?

I read it three nights ago. I typed up the objectionable parts for my meeting. It is eight pages long.
 
Sounds like the book is the average public high school cafeteria conversation.

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, here, honestly.

If you hate “dishonest representations of sexuality”, perhaps you would do well to pull her out of school.

Yes, the teacher is set on an agenda. Yes, the teacher is wrong. But you need to stop speaking for everyone’s child and just focus on your own. Your child is not in an emotional place to handle the book–or anyone that the teacher has suggested.

That is your issue. This is your child.

You only get to decide what is inappropriate for her, not for her classmates, not for her friends, not for the school. Not for other posters on CAF who have BTDT. I read many books in high school with different levels of disturbing. Oh, and my 9th grade curriculum? Top Catholic Home Study School And guess what? Books I read on my own that were what my public school peers were reading (books like the ones you describe) were far less disturbing to me than that disaster of a novel “Bridge of San Luis Rey” The whole “God wanted it” nonsense and the strangers connected by tragedy? It was just twisted. Yet this book is considered an unequivocal and inspiring classic. I still think about that blasted garbage novel every time I’m on a bridge, or in an airplane or whatever. There’s some messed up stuff out there…and it affects everyone differently.

The only person you have a say about is your kid. Don’t want your kid reading something? Great. But don’t turn it into a crusade of righousness on everyone elses’ kid.
 
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Teek said:
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1Lord1Faith:
You are grossly misrepresenting this book.
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When did you last read it? I feel like maybe we aren’t talking about the same book?

I read it three nights ago. I typed up the objectionable parts for my meeting. It is eight pages long.
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It seems that the shock you experience from some of the book’s content has kept you from seeing exactly why a Catholic school might have their students read this book. Not only is it masterfully written, it’s descriptions of immorality are not glorifying such behavior, nor are the descriptions gratuitous. In fact they are the opposite. They serve a purpose in the plot, development of characters, and an integral part of the climax - the murders themselves.

A good teacher would teach this book, not just simply read it. It is a deep book and a youngster probably would not grasp its depth without proper guidance, so I may have reservations about the quality of your daughter’s teacher. But the book in and of itself, is a lesson in the perils of immorality, intense as it may be.
 
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I would speak 1-1 with a couple other parents before sending a mass email. Get some additional support.
 
Teek said:
Strange that the criticism to my point of view seems to be that I should expose her to everything out there and make her who the world would have her be, or keep her home and shelter her and pretend her purity is dainty and delicate and breakable.

I choose the other option. The one where she is protected from the snares this world lays for youth while also living her life.

I want her to live in the world and be free to pursue what is good, and true, and pure, and beautiful, and just, and noble.

Why does that upset people?
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Because you are the one fronting that opinion. She is NOT protected from the “snares of this world” in public school, quite frankly. She is in a setting where her peers are 50% sexually active and depending on your state 10-60% actively trying drugs and alcohol. She is exposed to nearly all the nasty things that you are now saying you want to protect her from in a book EVERY DAY.

Sure, she’s living her life, but she’s facing at least half the stuff you object to CONSTANTLY. That’s the issue here. You are at once saying it’s ok for her to encounter depravity in her day to day life, but not in a book–because it’s too upsetting.

You have a right to reject reading material for your child. Her teacher obviously has an agenda. That should be addressed in a competent manner. Your child’s mental illness, PSTD, also has a big role in why reading may be different for her than the cafeteria conversations.

But you’ve spun from “concerned parent” in your opening post to a litany of your standards and what you think is and is not appropriate for your child to encounter. About 50% of it is what she likely does encounter on a daily basis being in—you know–a school with other teenagers.

That’s great. You have a code of ethics. If you really want to protect your daughter from those, you’re going to have to remove her from school. Thats the issue many of us are having.
 
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If what Ms. Teacher is doing is against the rules, speak to her boss or her bosses boss. Tell them what she has done. Perhaps justice can be served.
 
Which is more important - that children be ignorant of what goes on in the world, or that they are informed and have a right mind and conscience about the matters they encounter?

I don’t think sheltering a teenager from things is the right way to go about it. They should be taught how to think about such things, when it is appropriate and when it’s not. These books are supposed to make readers feel uncomfortable. They deal with heavy subjects. They are meant to take the rose colored glasses off people’s faces and make them confront very real issues.

I always think of it this way, if I can use profanity as an analogy. I don’t want children to be ignorant of foul language. I want children to be able to identify what language is foul, and that it’s not appropriate to use it in front of Grandma.
 
If she’s 15 next year she’ll be able to drive - mess that up and you can kill a bunch of people. How is this then not an appropriate time to start facing big issues? I’m not insinuating that she needs to be prepared for driving a car by confronting death, but I am saying if she’s going to be getting grown-up responsibilities, she needs to start facing grown up issues as well.

She’ll be a legal adult two years after this, and you don’t just become a fully formed adult the day you turn 18 - it needs to be built on a foundation of thought that comes from exposure to different perspectives, which seems to be the goal of this English class.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
if they are not comfortable with some assigned book, realizing of course that if they go to college they will likely be expected to read a lot of material outside their comfort zone.
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For now maybe, but the book-burners are ready to storm the castle…
 
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