help :(

[milletsmo]

I have no idea what to do

The more I pray the worse things get.

I want to die. I feel like I am dying I don’t know how to cope anymore.

Help!

 

[whatevergirl]

*Oh, milletsmo…are you speaking about the situation with your ex? I remember your posts about that-- I’m sorry you are struggling. Take each day at a time. Don’t worry about tomorrow, or what ‘‘might’’ happen next week. (I say that with all things) I am sometimes a worrier…I have to pray A LOT to fight the urge to indulge my worrisome side. I will hold you in my prayers, ok? I am praying the Rosary shortly, and will lift you up tonight. Hang in there, God wants the best for you, trust in HIS plan. God bless. :console: *

 

[milletsmo]

It was my birthday a few days ago but I was away from home because of uni (which I hate btw) and had a **** time.
My Nana died around this time last year so I feel rubbish about that.

Tonight I went out at home with friends to celebrate my birthday. My ex came, I tried to talk to him, we spoke a little, I asked what he was up to this week, he mentioned things on weds and thurs and I said “ok well maybe we could meet up sometime?” and he said “im really busy” and walked away.
later on i told everyone (he obviously heard me) to drink up because we were moving on.
all night him and my friend (female) were constantly talking - instead of drinking up they took 20 minutes to come outside so i was left outside in the rain annoyed. he came outside and said he was drunk. we said some things and ended up having an argument on the street. he said he was sober and i said “dont lie, you said 2 seconds ago youre drunk” and he said “well im sober enought to talk to you” and i said “WHY CAN WE NEVER MEET UP SOBER? YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO STILL BE FRIENDS WHEN WE BROKE UP BUT WHENEVER I TRY TO ARRANGE SOMETHING YOU EITHER TELL ME YOURE BUSY OR YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING WEIRD” and then he went on about how he doesnt want to be friends like me when im acting like this…and then I said “**** Off” and he told me to then he went home.

I have no idea what to do now, hes so different to how he was, I don’t understand. He kept asking me why is he out and sent me a birthday card if he doesnt want to be friends. and i’m scared cos we’re going to a festival together in dec (ive gave him the money now) and im scared incase he sells my ticket or tries to.

what should i do. i pray almost every second of the day. I asked God for a sign that we’d either get back together or I’d move on and I believe He gave me a sign that we’d get back but I just don’t understand this.

thanks for the prayers

 

[whatevergirl]

*milletsmo…I truly TRULY don’t think this is a healthy situation for you to be in. I think that for whatever the reasons, maybe depression, maybe he’s moved on, etc…he doesn’t respond the way you’d like him to. He doesn’t seem to have feelings for you ‘‘like that.’’ I would say that dating someone, falling in love, etc…shouldn’t cause this much pain. I would probably just be cordial, and offer MINIMAL conversation the next time you have to see him. I would be kind…but, I would stay away from conversations that tend to get a little heated. Keep praying for strength and courage. Life is filled with so much beauty…so much happiness. Please don’t let him or a relationship that ended, keep you from really noticing all that is around you. God has big plans for you–but as long as you stay focused on this man, you might miss them. I care about you, please know, I am praying for you.

Heartbreak is tough. It is! I have been through a few in my lifetime. But, don’t let this heartbreak cloud the good things in your life. Prayers going out for you. :hug1:*

 

[milletsmo]

I don’t just feel heartbroken, I feel destroyed. I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with this man, he loved me so much and changed his mind so quickly it doesn’t make sense.

I prayed 2 weeks ago for a sign, I prayed so hard and later that day I had the sudden urge to talk to somone online who I’ve not spoke to for nearly 2 year (I can’t even remember the last time I saw her online if I’m honest!) but for some reason I had the urge that she’d deffo be able to help and know what to say. Anyways I told her what had happend with us and she told me about how she was so in love with her partner but work and other problems were all getting too much and one day she snapped and said she wasnt in love anymore and ended it and she said what i had said about my ex sounded so so similar to how she used to feel etc and that it took five months to sort herself out and get back with her partner but now they’re in engaged. and she said she believes that we spoke for a reason and believes in signs.
shes the 2nd person i randomly spoke to who went through something so similar and now they’re engaged.

i just don;t understand I know God loves me but I do not understand. The more I pray and the more faith I put in Him the more heartbroken I feel.

:S

 

[Tosk]

I think if you look at everything in context you will see that romance and boyfriends make up such a small, insignificant part of your life. The kind of pain you’re in now is over quickly. Just try to focus on everything you have to be thankful for. Maybe make a list of everything.

Doesn’t sound you were in a good relationship. Why not try to stay away from your ex for a while? Don’t answer his calls or acknowledge his presence, treat him as if he died and really try to move on and form healthy relationships.

 

[kristanl]

I’m pretty sure I am sort of around your age. I’m in college as well- sometimes things are difficult. Remember, we suffer some, but think of all the suffering Jesus did for us.
I as well throughout high school and the most part of college never heard that much luck with boyfriends. God has someone out there for you. I really dont think this guy is for you. Your soulmate will be someone who LISTENS to you, spends time with you, LOVES you… He will be everything you have ever dreamed of. And while this guy may seem like he is, he is not. He doesnt seem to be a nice guy at all. I also suggest on trying not to hang out with people who drink a lot either, that caused me problems in College as well. I’m not sure if you are the same girl as the post I was reading earlier, but if you go to a Catholic College you are. I ALWAYS wanted to go to Catholic high school, Catholic College- but my parents thought it was too expensive. You need to study, you put your focus on schooling, because that comes first. You are still young, it is important that you get a degree and start your career first, as it is a lot harder to finish school if you get married before that happens! I am in my last year of school right now, and am 22- I probably wont be dating anyone too serious for awhile. I think it is important that you do what is right for YOU, become happy with yourself,… .and then you will be able to open up to more of what God has to offer you. Continue to pray, read your bible, and go to adoration. These things really open my eyes to what is really going around me in the world, and how my suffering is nothing compared to others or what Jesus did for us

God bless girl!

 

[kristanl]

I don’t just feel heartbroken, I feel destroyed. I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with this man, he loved me so much and changed his mind so quickly it doesn’t make sense.

I prayed 2 weeks ago for a sign, I prayed so hard and later that day I had the sudden urge to talk to somone online who I’ve not spoke to for nearly 2 year (I can’t even remember the last time I saw her online if I’m honest!) but for some reason I had the urge that she’d deffo be able to help and know what to say. Anyways I told her what had happend with us and she told me about how she was so in love with her partner but work and other problems were all getting too much and one day she snapped and said she wasnt in love anymore and ended it and she said what i had said about my ex sounded so so similar to how she used to feel etc and that it took five months to sort herself out and get back with her partner but now they’re in engaged. and she said she believes that we spoke for a reason and believes in signs.
shes the 2nd person i randomly spoke to who went through something so similar and now they’re engaged.

i just don;t understand I know God loves me but I do not understand. The more I pray and the more faith I put in Him the more heartbroken I feel.

:S

Also, maybe that is your sign… If you feel heartbroken the more you pray- the sign could be tell the guy to HIT THE ROAD!!! God has a plan for you- and while you might not see it right now… God wants you to learn from your mistakes, and learn from every relationship. If you didnt have relationships to build on you wouldnt be as strong and confident in the next relationships you had. I advise not speaking to this guy for awhile, and maybe pray to God to give you the strength to move on instead.

 

[Hiskid1973]

Your getting some good advice…I just was in another thread with a young lady asking about signs…Signs are a funny thing, then can be legit and come from the Lord and others can be conceived by overactive desires in our own mind…Seems to me you need to draw back and draw close to Jesus and let Him direct your path…We need to daily live our lives following His will for us…Drunkenness is a scary state to be in…We need to daily walk with a pure life before the Lord in these days…We never know when His return is or when out time is up…He knows your desire for a mate and will direct your path right to him in His timing…Make your priority in falling in love with Jesus and let Him direct your path…Prov.3:5-6…Blessings in Christ…Kim

 

[the_phoenix]

Praying from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Short Responsory

I have cried out to you, Lord, for you are my refuge.
– I have cried out to you, Lord, for you are my refuge.
You are my allotted share in the land of the living.
– I have cried out to you, Lord, for you are my refuge.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
– I have cried out to you, Lord, for you are my refuge.

 

[Catholic1954]

I agree. You are wasting too much of your valuable time on this guy, and the fastest way to get over him is to stop all contact. Return the birthday cards to sender, don’t take his calls or return email, and skip the festival. Go to the movies that night, get a headache, just don’t go. You can’t get on with your life, if you are still stuck in the old one. Don’t worry, God is watching out for you and he will send a really great guy along, sooner or later; you just have to be patient and work on His time.

 

[WarriorofJesus]

I agree. You are wasting too much of your valuable time on this guy, and the fastest way to get over him is to stop all contact. Return the birthday cards to sender, don’t take his calls or return email, and skip the festival. Go to the movies that night, get a headache, just don’t go. You can’t get on with your life, if you are still stuck in the old one. Don’t worry, God is watching out for you and he will send a really great guy along, sooner or later; you just have to be patient and work on His time.

The best advice I can give you is to pray for him so he can stop drinking. Pray a Rosary for him and tell Jesus to soften and touch his heart.

 

[flyingfish]

I think this is your sign that you have to move on. It’s obvious you still care about him, but the only way to get over that is to cut him out of your life. Don’t interact with him anymore. Don’t call him, don’t talk to him. Hang out with other people, do other things. Move on. Only time and lack of contact will heal your wounds. And believe you’ll get over him, many of us have gone through this, it seems like it will hurt forever at first but give it time and all your feelings for him will disappear and you’ll wonder wth you were thinking.

 

[Trishie]

Wishing you a happy birthday in retrospect. And a hug.
You are naturally more vulnerable than usual on your birthday. Most of us are.

From what you relate, though, it’s not a good dynamic between you two.
If you were to get married it wouldn’t get better, only worse.
There’s evidently emotional damage between you two, which has created a pattern that wouldn’t go away after marriage unless both of you obtained a lot of maturity and of wisdom about each other, and certainly, a deep genuine mutually unselfish love beyond attracton, love in all weathers.

It’s awfully painful, I know.
And I have a gentle, adorable son who has had to face that the woman he loves is never going to give him the kind of time and affection that he gives her.
He’s broken it off, but says, “I feel shattered, Mum.”
He’s keeping as busy as he can, which doesn’t stop the waves of pain that come.
It wasn’t going to work,
and it’s painful to face that. But he did face it. He knew just ‘settling’ wasn’t going to a life he can’t live, of emotional starvation.

Doing the stuff, going out, getting the card, that’s big stuff for some men.
You might perhaps find some enlightenment in “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” *well not always!] *by John Gray.
Being needy, being clingy, (which is a trifle hinted in your dialogue) can cause all kinds of relationship problems, and with many practical men is a real turnoff.
Sometimes you find men like my son who loves holding hands and sharing things, but not all men are like that.

Take good care of yourself, and God grant you wisdom and peace.
Desperate praying, by the way, isn’t helpful to peace, and it sometimes involves desperate bargaining. I ask God to help you pray for His will, for your best interests according to His will, and for growth in handling relationships, yours with yourself, and yours with others

I do feel for you. Love, Trishie

 

[royal_archer]

I don’t just feel heartbroken, I feel destroyed. I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with this man, he loved me so much and changed his mind so quickly it doesn’t make sense.

I prayed 2 weeks ago for a sign, I prayed so hard and later that day I had the sudden urge to talk to somone online who I’ve not spoke to for nearly 2 year (I can’t even remember the last time I saw her online if I’m honest!) but for some reason I had the urge that she’d deffo be able to help and know what to say. Anyways I told her what had happend with us and she told me about how she was so in love with her partner but work and other problems were all getting too much and one day she snapped and said she wasnt in love anymore and ended it and she said what i had said about my ex sounded so so similar to how she used to feel etc and that it took five months to sort herself out and get back with her partner but now they’re in engaged. and she said she believes that we spoke for a reason and believes in signs.
shes the 2nd person i randomly spoke to who went through something so similar and now they’re engaged.

i just don;t understand I know God loves me but I do not understand. The more I pray and the more faith I put in Him the more heartbroken I feel.

:S

sounds like you are listening to the tiny signs and ignoring the big flashing one. This guy is not right for you. Have you ever considered that this is God’s sigh to you to move on and find someone new?

 

[PAboy57]

Dear Milletsmo,

I’m sorry you are having such a rough time. You sound like a wonderful, caring person. Please don’t allow yourself to suffer over someone not worthy of you. Pick yourself up and find a real man that will love you. Keep praying because our Lord will never give us something we can’t handle – that’s a promise. You will make it and be fine. My prayers for you. God Bless You!!!

Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to Thy protection,
implored Thy help or sought Thy intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother;
to Thee do I come, before thee I kneel, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in Thy clemency, hear and answer me.
Amen.

 

[whatevergirl]

sounds like you are listening to the tiny signs and ignoring the big flashing one. This guy is not right for you. Have you ever considered that this is God’s sigh to you to move on and find someone new?

As hard as it might be milletsmo…sometimes God’s signs mean for us to turn away from a situation. Praying that you will get a sense of peace and enlightenment about this. Please keep trusting in Jesus, stay close to Him, and He will give you rest. :hug1:

 

[milletsmo]

I don’t understand why everyone is being so negative. You don’t know him, we were together for nearly 3 years, we were best friends and everyone including us thought we were perfect for each other. He loved holding hands, he loved seeing me as often as possible (hard due to distance) and speaking to me every day.
One minute I was the best thing in his life and made him so happy, he got very very depressed and the next minute he said he didn’t love me anymore. we never ever argued, there was no one else therefore it has to be his depression because he couldn’t hasve changed his mind that quickly with no reasoning behind it and he is no the kind of person who would lie - if he didnt mean the things he said then he wouldnt had said them.

i am not missing out on the festival, first of all i have spent a lot of money on it and been looking forward to it for nearly a year. why should i suffer even more by missing out it isnt fair.

because of the distance i have only seen him 4 times since our 3 month break up. all 4 times have been in drunken situations where either friends or stranges have kept butting into the conversation - the only sober conversations we’ve had hgave been on the internet. every single time i’ve tried to suggest meeting up sometime he’s said it’d be a good idea, then when i actually suggest a day or whatever he tells me hes too busy. if he was genuinly over me and fine with just being friends an thats all he wants like he keeps saying over and over he’d be able to find at least one hour to spare to see me.
if i had been at home this whole time then i’m sure in these 3 months we’d have met up at least once sober and on our own. therefore the distance is dragging it out and making it worse.

 

[whatevergirl]

*I think what we’re trying to say, is that you shouldn’t base your happiness in life, or your value or self worth, on if this guy likes you or not anymore. That is the thing. Regardless of the reasons you both broke up, regardless of whether or not he is depressed, etc…it’s best to not hinge your happiness on what happens with him. If he comes back into your life as a boyfriend, then you’ll be happy? If he doesn’t, you are sad and depressed? Don’t give ANYONE or any situation that much power over yourself. That’s really more of what we’re trying to say. If you are meant to get back with him, great. It will work itself out. But, all I suggest is, don’t allow your happiness to hinge on what this man does or doesn’t do. It’s not healthy, milletsmo. You are a loved child of God. Pray for this man, if it is meant to happen, then God will bring you back together. We’re not trying to be negative, we’re trying to show you that your life is not the sum total of what happens with this man. He has his own issues to work out, and if he doesn’t want to include you in those, the only thing left for you to do, is let him go now, and pray for him. Don’t lose heart. :console: *

 

[flyingfish]

I don’t understand why everyone is being so negative. You don’t know him, we were together for nearly 3 years, we were best friends and everyone including us thought we were perfect for each other. He loved holding hands, he loved seeing me as often as possible (hard due to distance) and speaking to me every day.
One minute I was the best thing in his life and made him so happy, he got very very depressed and the next minute he said he didn’t love me anymore. we never ever argued, there was no one else therefore it has to be his depression because he couldn’t hasve changed his mind that quickly with no reasoning behind it and he is no the kind of person who would lie - if he didnt mean the things he said then he wouldnt had said them.

That’s how break ups are. I’ve had break ups like this, I would imagine most posters here have as well.

He loved you in the past, and now he doesn’t since if he did he wouldn’t act the way he is acting. He meant the things he said when he said them, but his feelings have changed since then. It might be hard to hear, but it happens all the time. We’re not trying to be negative so as to hurt you, we’re trying to tell you that it is in your best interest to move on and get over him. And it is possible. You are heartbroken now, and seeing how you were together for so long you might be heartbroken for many more months. But eventually it will pass. I’ve had break ups when I was in so much pain I thought it would never end and I wanted to die to make it stop, and guess what, now I think back on those times and I can’t believe I felt that way. I feel nothing for those men now, and I don’t care one bit that we aren’t together anymore.

every single time i’ve tried to suggest meeting up sometime he’s said it’d be a good idea, then when i actually suggest a day or whatever he tells me hes too busy. if he was genuinly over me and fine with just being friends an thats all he wants like he keeps saying over and over he’d be able to find at least one hour to spare to see me.
if i had been at home this whole time then i’m sure in these 3 months we’d have met up at least once sober and on our own. therefore the distance is dragging it out and making it worse.

If he wasn’t over you he wouldn’t be telling you he’s too busy to meet. You’d be his priority. You need to realize that he lost feelings for you, and the sooner you do the sooner you’ll heal, feel good about life again, and fall in love with other men.