He's leaving us

[Jengl]

These last few posts definitely gave me something to think about. Yes, to my husband the NFP was a complete 180. I thought what we were normally doing was okay untill I dug deeper in my faith. I already knew about birth control and he was fine with me not taking it. But “spilling the seed” so to speak is just as bad, I felt like I was not a good Catholic for interfering with life so much. And honestly when all is said and done and we’re standing before God I’d feel better knowing I made the harder choice in order to spend eternity with God. People may come and go - or stay, but if we live for God He will not abandon us. That means following His commandments and doing what is right. Once you know what is right or wrong, you must live by it or risk the consequences. As Father Corapi has said, “I ain’t going to He** for anyone.” lol. I’ll do anything I can to help my husband and I’d never leave him. I’ll work tirelessly to save our marriage. I’ll try and explain my reasonings. But the honest truth is if I must pick between God and anybody else, I’d like to have the strength to choose God. We owe everything we have and who we are to God.

God Bless

 

[whatevergirl]

Just be careful Jengl, that you don’t allow your husband to convince you that NFP, and following Church teachings, are the reason he ‘‘fell/falls.’’ Sin always has an excuse…and we are all sinners, indeed. But, we have to take ownership of our sins, otherwise, we will never rid ourselves of them…and my prayer for your situation is specifically that your husband WILL take ownership, no matter what the underlying mitigating factors were…and CHOOSES to commit himself to you, and the marriage. Praying!

 

[Jengl]

Just be careful Jengl, that you don’t allow your husband to convince you that NFP, and following Church teachings, are the reason he ‘‘fell/falls.’’ Sin always has an excuse…and we are all sinners, indeed. But, we have to take ownership of our sins, otherwise, we will never rid ourselves of them…and my prayer for your situation is specifically that your husband WILL take ownership, no matter what the underlying mitigating factors were…and CHOOSES to commit himself to you, and the marriage. Praying!

Thank you so much for the prayers

 

[jwashu]

Just be careful Jengl, that you don’t allow your husband to convince you that NFP, and following Church teachings, are the reason he ‘‘fell/falls.’’ Sin always has an excuse…and we are all sinners, indeed. But, we have to take ownership of our sins, otherwise, we will never rid ourselves of them…and my prayer for your situation is specifically that your husband WILL take ownership, no matter what the underlying mitigating factors were…and CHOOSES to commit himself to you, and the marriage. Praying!

WG is correct! But study the definition of what a mortal sin is and search the ask and apologist section and this one as there have been similar stories. The point being that if he won’t follow the teachings of the Church that isn’t your sin. I agree, we shouldn’t go to hell for anyone but that isn’t the case here. Just something to think about…

Joe

 

[whatevergirl]

WG is correct! But study the definition of what a mortal sin is and search the ask and apologist section and this one as there have been similar stories. The point being that if he won’t follow the teachings of the Church that isn’t your sin. I agree, we shouldn’t go to hell for anyone but that isn’t the case here. Just something to think about…

Joe

None of what he is doing, she is responsible for…she can support him and help him with his issues, but to take blame for his porn viewing, and threats to leave? No, she is not responsible for that whatsoever.

 

[Sierrah]

Well I’m not married but honestly if he’s willing to leave that easily or at all I’d rather have him go then stick around to make me and himself miserable. I’d rather have someone who was with me because he wanted to be then just sticking around for the kids…that’s no life no matter what the church says. A friend of mine recently shared her husband of many years left her on Christmas eve. Now a few years latter she said she realized she was much better off without someone who could do that.

 

[StRoch]

hi Jengl, I’m really sorry about your situation. I don’t really have any advice but I will say a prayer for you and really hope everything works out.

 

[jwashu]

None of what he is doing, she is responsible for…she can support him and help him with his issues, but to take blame for his porn viewing, and threats to leave? No, she is not responsible for that whatsoever.

What I’m trying to say is she isn’t responsible for his sin, everyone’s sins are by their own choice (or sometimes lack of choice).

However what I’m suggesting, not in the above note though, was that the sudden shift to NFP could cause him to view it that way and be partially responsible for the anger, resentment etc… It would be his perception which for him may be reality.

Is Jen actually responsible? No, not at all, we are in 100% agreement on that. Jen I hope it didn’t come across that way. I believe he may “think” you are responsible and may want to blame you and the Church, especially how our society always wants to blame everyone else rather than taking responsibility for their own actions. However everyone is responsible for their own choices and how we react to changes in others. I in know way mean to suggest you are actually responsible, rather that my guess would be that he may want to say you are. That is why I suggested a secular counselor outside or along with a Priest / Religious counselor because they might get more at these issues… however the Priest may as well, just not sure how well all Priest are trained in this.

Still praying as well!

Joe