Hi!

[RolandSimms]

How is this not good for your health? You didn’t really believe all of your teenaged friends when they told you that you HAD to have sex, did you? You know there is no such thing as “blue balls,” right? I am not so sure that it isn’t good for your marriage. Until now your married seems to have consisted of you telling your wife what to do and her doing it. Now you have been questioned. I think that is a good thing. No one is always right. So you only respect your wife when she agrees with you? You are acting as though practicing NFP is making a decision over God. The Catholic Church tells couples that they can space children using NFP. She is not in serious error. You are in the wrong here.If you are raising your boys with masculine habits and instincts, why are they not learning from you how to wash the car, mow the lawn? YOU should be doing these chores. If you have not taught them how to help YOU with these chores and you are relying on your wife doing these types of chores, you are not traditional. You across as simply selfish. You are treating their mother with disrespect and rudeness. You are treating her like a baby making machine. Trust me when I say that they will learn more from your actions than from what you tell them.
It seems that you only love your wife is she is willing to have sexual relations with you whenever YOU want. Guess what, if she has a good reason, she is allowed to say no. And the total disrespect you have for her is a very good reason. There are no such thing as “male needs.” What would you do if she was injured in such a way that she could no longer have relations? Would you leave her to find someone who could? What would you do about your so called “male needs?”

Again, I ask you…do you believe that your ticket to heaven is based on how many children you have? Do you believe that couples that have one, two or three children are never making it in?

To answer your questions…

-It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release. I start to have mood changes and I feel a soreness in the area.

-My wife is totally unwilling to use NFP because she has strange cycles and she does not “trust” it to be as effective. On my part, I have a really hard time with up to 20+ “NO INTIMACY” days per month. However, I might be willing to consider temporarily using NFP, but my wife won’t even consider it. It’s artificial birth control, sterilization or abstinence. My preference would be letting God decide our family size.

-I am not sure how a woman could be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service. Honestly? If such a thing did occur, it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I am not sure “what” I would do, as obviously I am committed to Patricia through sickness and health. We would deal with it, I guess, but always work toward a resolution that allowed marital unity.

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

 

[Em_in_FL]

To answer your questions…

-It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release. I start to have mood changes and I feel a soreness in the area.

-My wife is totally unwilling to use NFP because she has strange cycles and she does not “trust” it to be as effective. On my part, I have a really hard time with up to 20+ “NO INTIMACY” days per month. However, I might be willing to consider temporarily using NFP, but my wife won’t even consider it. It’s artificial birth control, sterilization or abstinence. My preference would be letting God decide our family size.

-I am not sure how a woman could be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service. Honestly? If such a thing did occur, it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I am not sure “what” I would do, as obviously I am committed to Patricia through sickness and health. We would deal with it, I guess, but always work toward a resolution that allowed marital unity.

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

You’re right.
NFP will not work if neither one of you are willing to compromise.

:doh2:

 

[maryjk]

To answer your questions…

-It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release. I start to have mood changes and I feel a soreness in the area.

You need to see a doctor.

-My wife is totally unwilling to use NFP because she has strange cycles and she does not “trust” it to be as effective. On my part, I have a really hard time with up to 20+ “NO INTIMACY” days per month. However, I might be willing to consider temporarily using NFP, but my wife won’t even consider it. It’s artificial birth control, sterilization or abstinence. My preference would be letting God decide our family size.

Until you are willing to abstain, she has no reason to trust NFP. It won’t work to avoid pregnancy if you demand relations every 3 days.

-I am not sure how a woman could be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service. Honestly? If such a thing did occur, it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I am not sure “what” I would do, as obviously I am committed to Patricia through sickness and health. We would deal with it, I guess, but always work toward a resolution that allowed marital unity.

Do a little research, it happens. Even if it wasn’t something like an accident, it could be an illness. When I was pregnant with our son, we had to abstain for 18 weeks. Just recently we abstained for two months due to my health.

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

You can believe in anything you want. The problem is that believing it doesn’t make it true. Again, you might want to talk to a doctor about it. And showing her that you love her by meeting YOUR needs??? How about you meet HER needs?

Again I ask…do you believe that your ticket to heaven is based on how many children you have? Do you believe that couples that have one, two or three children are never making it in?

 

[jilly4ski]

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

???
No, she has been showing you love by “meeting your manly needs” as you so crudely put it. But all you have been doing to show her you love her, is giving her a paycheck. You don’t show her love, by getting your needs met, that is the epitome of selfishness. My husband shows me he loves me by putting his needs and urges to the side for my sake, for my health and well being.
If your attitude gets worse because you haven’t had your ‘manly needs’ met, deal with with. Women deal with their changing moods every month. Most of us don’t take it out on our husbands, just because our body/hormones have made us grouchy. You obviously survived you pre-married life without getting your need met (hopefully), you can do it again.

Maybe you and your wife can take this time of abstinence for prayer and fasting. There, think of this time as a fast, mutually agree, to abstain and not make any drastic sterilization procedures, and take this time to pray, discern, and meet with a spiritual director/priest. Then nobody will be sinning and you can ‘save’ your wife’s soul.

 

[cviolette]

I SOMETIMES get the opportunity to iron my husbands shirts… I do so because I love him and thought it would be a nice gesture.
Normally he irons his own shirts.
This is not an issue of masculinity. That’s not raising “manly” boys… that’s raising boys who are not self-sufficient and put expectations on women that are not appropriate.

Definitely not a masculine issue. My husband irons his own shirts. I do hang them right out of the dryer so they do not always need to be ironed or they are easy to quickly iron.

I have three boys and a girl. They can all cook. I make dinner and will pack their lunches when they have school. And pack lunch for work for hubby. But breakfast and lunch at home, you are on your own. I taught them how to cook their favorite foods.

My oldest is in college and will be leaving the dorm and getting an apartment. Knowing how to cook will keep him healthy and save him money. He did call a few times from college with laundry questions

 

[KostyaJMJ]

To answer your questions…

-It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release. I start to have mood changes and I feel a soreness in the area.

-My wife is totally unwilling to use NFP because she has strange cycles and she does not “trust” it to be as effective. On my part, I have a really hard time with up to 20+ “NO INTIMACY” days per month. However, I might be willing to consider temporarily using NFP, but my wife won’t even consider it. It’s artificial birth control, sterilization or abstinence. My preference would be letting God decide our family size.

-I am not sure how a woman could be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service. Honestly? If such a thing did occur, it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I am not sure “what” I would do, as obviously I am committed to Patricia through sickness and health. We would deal with it, I guess, but always work toward a resolution that allowed marital unity.

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

If you aren’t willing to abstain for a large portion of the month NFP will never work for you.

Have you thought about picking up a hobby? Maybe you would enjoy trying to build a ship in a bottle, or maybe crocheting. You might find with no sex you will have time to devote to other things you always wanted to do like learning jazz guitar or studying Portuguese.

 

[Em_in_FL]

If you aren’t willing to abstain for a large portion of the month NFP will never work for you.

Have you thought about picking up a hobby? Maybe you would enjoy trying to build a ship in a bottle, or maybe crocheting. You might find with no sex you will have time to devote to other things you always wanted to do like learning jazz guitar or studying Portuguese.

Scratch the crocheting. Not manly enough.

 

[cviolette]

To answer your questions…

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

Giving birth to and raising 7 kids is not just wanting a paycheck and a Mercedes. Does your wife even have time to shop for herself. To do something special for herself? Take a nap or bubble bath? Something simple that doesn’t cost money but shows your love her.

Showing her that you love her would be giving her a night off to relax. You want her to work day and night and still have time to have sex with you.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Have you thought about picking up a hobby? Maybe you would enjoy trying to build a ship in a bottle, or maybe crocheting. You might find with no sex you will have time to devote to other things you always wanted to do like learning jazz guitar or studying Portuguese.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

Scratch the crocheting. Not manly enough.

oh pooh. Maybe knitting then?

 

[Rence]

To answer your questions…

-It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release. I start to have mood changes and I feel a soreness in the area.

That’s not realistic. You need to find more spiritual ways to cope with your inability to go more than a few days without sex.

-My wife is totally unwilling to use NFP because she has strange cycles and she does not “trust” it to be as effective. On my part, I have a really hard time with up to 20+ “NO INTIMACY” days per month. However, I might be willing to consider temporarily using NFP, but my wife won’t even consider it. It’s artificial birth control, sterilization or abstinence. My preference would be letting God decide our family size.

Maybe God is deciding your family size. Your wife is not required to pop out children every year. She is adamantly against a pregnancy because she can’t cope with another pregnancy. The more you bully her, the longer it will take for her to recover. She may never recover from not being emotionally and spiritually able to have more children. She gave you seven. There is no set number of children that is required. Abstinence to avoid pregnancy is not sinful if there is good reason, and from your own words, she has good reason.

-I am not sure how a woman could be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service. Honestly? If such a thing did occur, it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with. I am not sure “what” I would do, as obviously I am committed to Patricia through sickness and health. We would deal with it, I guess, but always work toward a resolution that allowed marital unity.

She doesn’t have to 'be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service". What if she, Heaven forbid, gets cancer or a back injury, or a neck injury, or a pelvis injury? Will you still insist ‘that area’ is ‘open for business’? A heart attack? A stroke?

-I believe there are such things as male needs. I understand that many women are not interested in the language of love and just want a paycheck and a Mercedes, but the way I show my wife that I love her is through the meeting of my male needs in our marital bed.

With all due respect, and without wanting to insult, I agree with the others that you’re trolling. Sorry

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

With all due respect, and without wanting to insult, I agree with the others that you’re trolling.

[SIGN]+1[/SIGN]

 

[choose_to_love]

@castello, rence, fgh, luna: my thoughts too, this just has to be a troll, but man, what an artfully crafted trollish piece - - the deft turn of phrase, designed to push buttons in an offhand yet elegant way!

@em: I was going to say, “toughen up buttercup”, but I think the “wah” got the point across.

On the other hand, “I start to have mood changes etc.” has to be, if genuine, one of the funniest unintentional lines ever, on the whole internet.

ETA: if, on the other hand, Roland, you are legit, perhaps you ought to consider that if the good members of CAF, notoriously one of the most orthodox sites in the Catholic web world, are having a hard time discerning if you are pulling their collective legs or not, perhaps you are not exactly living the vocation you thought you were, nor, just maybe, loving your bride the way Christ loves the Church.

 

[Em_in_FL]

On the other hand, “I start to have mood changes etc.” has to be, if genuine, one of the funniest unintentional lines ever, on the whole internet.

 

[aloe]

The more I read the responses the more outrageous I find this, this has to be a joke.

She is adamantly against a pregnancy because she can’t cope with another pregnancy. The more you bully her, the longer it will take for her to recover.
She doesn’t have to 'be injured in such a way that the necessary area was no longer available for service". What if she, Heaven forbid, gets cancer or a back injury, or a neck injury, or a pelvis injury? Will you still insist ‘that area’ is ‘open for business’? A heart attack? A stroke?

Because her needs are emotional and not physical they are being disregarded in a cold and judgmental manner. You keep saying she is fine, she is not fine obviously. This has been brought to your attention. Emotions are real, burn out is real, chronic stress is real and can lead to serious health problems such as cancer and heart disease. And what if she did pass away tomorrow in a car accident? What would you regret? What do you wish you would have told her?
Not everyone is blessed with a wife and a family. There are some things that really matter in life and too many people focus on trivial and petty things until it is too late and the reality sinks in that our time on earth is indeed limited. No one is guaranteed tomorrow and treating those who love us the most with respect, dignity, love and kindness each day is important. She shouldn’t have to be injured or terminally ill to get the help she deserves and for you take her seriously.

You keep writing on this forum but if you are really serious what you really need to do is get a maid service to help your wife and seek out professionals who can really help with your serious marriage problems and your views on women. I wonder if you had a daughter would she be made to clean up after all 7 brothers too and her own father? Like a maid in her own household as your wife is?

 

[aloe]

It is not healthy for me to go more than a few days without a release.
I believe there are such things as male needs.

Priests don’t have sex every 3 days and they are men.

 

[RolandSimms]

I am very concerned that you have all misunderstood me. Obviously, as I am being attacked for being concerned about my wife’s salvation, I have not portrayed myself in the best light. In my attempt to be humble, I gave you all the impression that I am disrespectful/rude/a troll. Please accept my apologies for your confusion.

I am calling our parish this afternoon to discuss my wife’s problems with him. Hopefully he will help me figure out a way to REACH HER that does not compromise our marriage, our vows, our worship of The Lord, and our need to allow GOD to decide our family size.

Someone asked earlier if I thought that I would get to Heaven by having a large family. I do not believe this. What I do believe is that those of us who are equipped with the Shield of the Lord are obligated to allow HIM to decide our family size, and not just give up when it gets a little inconvenient or hard. What if #8 is going to be the next Joe Montana or Jonas Salk?

I realize that some of you women deny the existence of male needs. However, I work 70+ hours a week and when I come home, I do need to release and I find that I am in a much better mood when I can achieve a release with my wife. Many of you have suggested that on top of working 70 hours a week, managing a business, and bringing home the bacon, I should also sign up to do my wife’s housekeeping. I assure you that I would be much better equipped to do this if my male needs were met.

 

[maryjk]

I am very concerned that you have all misunderstood me. Obviously, as I am being attacked for being concerned about my wife’s salvation, I have not portrayed myself in the best light. In my attempt to be humble, I gave you all the impression that I am disrespectful/rude/a troll. Please accept my apologies for your confusion.

We don’t misunderstand you. You just thought you would come here and everyone would pile on your wife for not popping out the kiddos.

I am calling our parish this afternoon to discuss my wife’s problems with him. Hopefully he will help me figure out a way to REACH HER that does not compromise our marriage, our vows, our worship of The Lord, and our need to allow GOD to decide our family size.

Don’t be surprised if he tells you that YOU have the problems, not her.

Someone asked earlier if I thought that I would get to Heaven by having a large family. I do not believe this. What I do believe is that those of us who are equipped with the Shield of the Lord are obligated to allow HIM to decide our family size, and not just give up when it gets a little inconvenient or hard. What if #8 is going to be the next Joe Montana or Jonas Salk?

And yet you won’t even listen to your wife about not having another child? This may be how HE is telling you that you are done having children. This may be the way that HE is saying STOP. But see, you won’t listen, because YOU want what YOU want.

I realize that some of you women deny the existence of male needs. However, I work 70+ hours a week and when I come home, I do need to release and I find that I am in a much better mood when I can achieve a release with my wife. Many of you have suggested that on top of working 70 hours a week, managing a business, and bringing home the bacon, I should also sign up to do my wife’s housekeeping. I assure you that I would be much better equipped to do this if my male needs were met.

Before she said no, you were getting both. A ready, willing and able sex partner to meet YOUR needs (not hers) AND someone to do your housekeeping. You are just upset that the gravy train has stopped.

And although you are working 70 hours a week, managing a business and bringing home the bacon, that only counts as one. You work a job, just like most other husbands and fathers. You THINK that entitles you to a willing sex partner and a housekeeper. In reality, it is simply part of being a husband and a father. Suck it up dud, this is real life.

 

[PaulGH]

I realize that some of you women deny the existence of male needs. However, I work 70+ hours a week and when I come home, I do need to release and I find that I am in a much better mood when I can achieve a release with my wife. Many of you have suggested that on top of working 70 hours a week, managing a business, and bringing home the bacon, I should also sign up to do my wife’s housekeeping. I assure you that I would be much better equipped to do this if my male needs were met.

Well, I’m a man, and I think that when you make comments like this, you are making men look very bad.

Look, your wife should not be denying your requests for marital intimacy without a serious reason, and she should not be unilaterally enforcing 100% abstinence in your marriage. I think that most of the men AND women on this forum would agree with that. She also should not be pushing for one or both of you to use contraception or to be sterilized – again I think that most here would strongly agree.

But you have said that you aren’t even willing to do the amount of abstinence required for NFP (even if your wife were willing to practice NFP), even after you and your wife have had seven boys, and even after she has told you that she is not ready for another baby. I think that is where I and others think that you are coming across as unreasonable and selfish.

 

[Rence]

I am calling our parish this afternoon to discuss my wife’s problems with him. Hopefully he will help me figure out a way to REACH HER that does not compromise our marriage, our vows, our worship of The Lord, and our need to allow GOD to decide our family size.

You are calling your parish this afternoon to discuss your wife’s problems with him? Don’t you think you should be discussing your problems? And is your wife going to be present? It’s very important, if you are going to be discussing “her” problems, that she should be present.

Someone asked earlier if I thought that I would get to Heaven by having a large family. I do not believe this. What I do believe is that those of us who are equipped with the Shield of the Lord are obligated to allow HIM to decide our family size, and not just give up when it gets a little inconvenient or hard. What if #8 is going to be the next Joe Montana or Jonas Salk

It takes two to determine when it’s not ‘a little convenient or hard’, not one.

I realize that some of you women deny the existence of male needs. However, I work 70+ hours a week and when I come home, I do need to release and I find that I am in a much better mood when I can achieve a release with my wife. Many of you have suggested that on top of working 70 hours a week, managing a business, and bringing home the bacon, I should also sign up to do my wife’s housekeeping. I assure you that I would be much better equipped to do this if my male needs were met.

These posts of yours reminds me of all those threads started by those who are opposed to using NFP and are justifying using ABCs. Yes, I know you’re opposed to using ABCs. And you are opposed to using NFP as well. You just have ‘male needs’ that need to be met or your life would be over.