Holding hands during Pater Noster — Why?

[Feanor2]

Dovekin:

Nothing is said, so all is allowed.

No. That is not how the rubrics for Mass works. As the article posted by this site said, by that logic, there is nothing keeping me from standing on my head then during Mass.

That is exactly how the GIRM is to be read. If no practice is stated than any is allowed.

 

[Fauken]

That is exactly how the GIRM is to be read. If no practice is stated than any is allowed.

I very much doubt that’s correct. That reduces practices to nothing more than an argument from silence. That is extremely problematic.

 

[KyPerson]

I am an introvert and if someone came over and grabbed my hand, I think I would recoil. I don’t like this gesture at all.

 

[CathoRick]

Hand-holding is a practice that’s split about 50/50 among the laity at my parish. It is anything but inclusive; the person with no one near them is left out, the family that joins hands with one another may not pay any mind to the stranger sitting next to them, people may be more or less inclined to hold your hand depending on your appearance, etc… It creates more drama and divisions than anything else at my parish, similar to the sign of peace.

I remember one amusing incident that happened at the front row during Mass, when I was still learning the Mass as a non-Catholic and therefore didn’t know when to bow in prayer. A Millennial couple had their heads bowed in prayer, and about 5 feet to the right of them was a Baby Boomer couple; the husband holding his wife’s hand, head bowed, and the wife trying to reach over and grab the Millennial man’s hand. It got to the point where she was like a cat with her claw stuck in a rug and she started frantically yanking her husband around just to grab that hand. The Boomer man looked up to see what was wrong, scolded his wife, and then the two began to quietly argue, while the Millennial couple was none the wiser. Many people, including the priest, were looking at the older couple as this all unfolded. Hand-holding, in this instance and countless others, served only to distract from the prayer itself.

 

[tafan2]

Same here, if I have to hold hands during the Our Father my palms will start sweating, I become completely pre-occcupoied with it. Cannot stand it. Fortunately, it is very rare these days that anyone expects one to hold hands. I knew a young lady who had a huge problem with sweaty hands during any type of physical contact. She, unfortunately, went to a parish where everyone held hands. She would literally get up and go to the back of Church and stand in the corner every Sunday during the Our Father.

Like I said, it rarely happens anymore, but the idea that one should expect a stranger to hold your hand is way out of bounds. I still find it hard to believe this became the norm in many places for quite a while.

 

[paperwight]

Same here, if I have to hold hands during the Our Father my palms will start sweating, I become completely pre-occcupoied with it. Cannot stand it. Fortunately, it is very rare these days that anyone expects one to hold hands. I knew a young lady who had a huge problem with sweaty hands during any type of physical contact. She, unfortunately, went to a parish where everyone held hands. She would literally get up and go to the back of Church and stand in the corner every Sunday during the Our Father.

Like I said, it rarely happens anymore, but the idea that one should expect a stranger to hold your hand is way out of bounds. I still find it hard to believe this became the norm in many places for quite a while.

Mind you, a solution to the sweaty palms difficulty would be to link little pinkies.

I have to say, I’ve never seen this holding hands thing in the UK in any shape or form.

 

[melonhead]

Or tickle their palm and wink at them. That’s a hand retraction in the making right there!

 

[tafan2]

That would be quite distracting also. Yea, when I used to travel a lot, I came to realize the holding hands thing was a purely American phenomena,

 

[pnewton]

It seems to me that it just kind of developed, perhaps evolving from families that held hands. There are no gestures, folded hands or holding hands proscribed, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. The liturgical police do not really have enough evidence for the liturgical courts to convict someone and send them to liturgy jail. My parish almost all hold hands. Sometimes I do, sometimes not. I have to be up front next to real close to the altar area, so I usually don’t, primarily to give the few that also do not hold hands some peace that it is okay.

 

[Tbrightson]

Reason 1,342.50 why I started going to TLM. Im a bit of a germaphobe anyway.

 

[Bill6]

Catholics are not permitted to hold hands during the Pater Noster. It is my understanding that we aren’t supposed to raise our hands like the priest either.

God love you

 

[SJstl]

I don’t know that this young lady has any more authority than the next person but she is sincere about her beliefs and I like the video

Somewhere around the 16:00 mark she addresses the question and ends up saying we should mirror the Deacon, not the Priest (paraphrased a little)

 

[Cruciferi]

I’m so thankful that this doesn’t happen at my Church

 

[Dewey83]

My experience as a 30-something in Arizona is that I have not been to an ordinary Mass where there has not been at least some degree of holding hands during the Our Father prayer. It is easy enough to avoid contact during the prayer and the sign of peace if one chooses to, unless one’s neighbor cannot pick up on nonverbal cues very well.

Generally, I go with the flow of what most people are doing. The point, as I see it, is to offer up the prayer as a community. I may or may not have the same experience praying it that way as I do in solitude or as part of the Rosary.

 

[maryjk]

Catholics are not permitted to hold hands during the Pater Noster.

And your authority comes from whom?

 

[Evan]

I usually explain that holding hands during the Our Father is probably a gesture of unity some people have brought from protestant churches. We have our unity displayed in our communion from a common bread and cup as our sign of unity.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

Catholics are not permitted to hold hands during the Pater Noster. It is my understanding that we aren’t supposed to raise our hands like the priest either.

maryjk:

And your authority comes from whom?

This priest says it is wrong to hold hands during the Our Father.

Our Father While Holding Hands Father Ricardo

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Holding hands during the Our Father isn’t my cup of tea, and I avoid it wherever possible. I only do it on rare occasions, when I perceive that refusal to do so would come across as snobbish, elitist, or racist (especially the latter). That doesn’t happen often.

 

[Cruc3S1gnatus]

Reason 1,342.50 why I started going to TLM. Im a bit of a germaphobe anyway.

Haha me too!

 

[otjm]

Your pastor was incorrect in that there is nothing in the GIRM as to how people are to hold their hands - with one another, solo, palms together fingers pointing up or out; palms together, fingers interlaces, hands in pockets, hands holding a baby…

There are people who wish to hold hands and are offended when the person next to them does not. They take it as a personal rejection.

There are people who do not want to hold hands and are offended when the person next to them wants to. They take it as an intrusion of their personal space.

It is easy to condemn either of the two people noted above if one is on the “other side” of the issue; both are somewhat natural responses. And while holding hands during the Our Father is not the following, it is well known, at least among sociologists that people of a Northern European heritage tend to be more reserved and less prone to any showing which might be considered “emotionally laden”; and people from Southern Europe tend to be more openly expressive physically.

The source of the holding hands appears to have spread out from the early Charismatic Movement in the mid to late 1960’s. Rome has been aware of it from early on, and has apparently chosen, through several editions/revisions of the GIRM to make no statement whatsoever on the matter. Or as I have said before, the silence has been deafening.

Recently my Archbishop came out about the matter, saying he was not in favor of it. Considering that he has no authority to regulate the matter (as any opportunity to regulate a matter is where there is clear indication of alternatives), it was unfortunate, as some will take that as a command.

Archbishop Chaput, when he was in Colorado finally sent a public letter on the matter and said, in so many words, that charity needed to be the rule; people were neither required nor forbidden to hold hands; but they needed to be charitable to the person sitting next to them in the pew.

And personally, I don’t find Archbishop Chaput to be someone I would ever call a progressive. Wise beyond many, however.