Holding hands during Pater Noster — Why?

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My parish did this as well. It was a great deal of movement and shuffling as people even went out into the aisles so the chain would be unbroken. Then we had a horrific flu outbreak and that ended that. Now we are encouraged to shake hands at the sign of peace, but no more hand-holding or kissing. I am a very shy person, so was I relieved! I’m just sorry about all the people who had to come down with the flu before this went into action.

In my parish this started with the charismatic movement. I wonder if anyone knows just where it did begin as a custom?
 
Effeminate? Really?
I have heard a lot of reasons for not liking hand-holding, but never this one.
How, exactly, is holding someone’s hand during a communal prayer, effeminate?
 
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Thank goodness it was nipped for you before it got out of hand. I’m not sure if it started with the charismatics? I suspect some parishes saw a few folks doing it and wrongly believed it was “supposed” to be done. I never cared for it, either. Welcome to CAF. May you have many enjoyable hours chatting with one another.
 
Thank you so much for the kind welcome! I have no Catholic friends still living, so this is a real treat for me.
 
MaryFrances said:
It was a great deal of movement and shuffling as people even went out into the aisles so the chain would be unbroken.
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I was at a daily Mass once when a group of about 6 women all turned to each other and formed a circle of handholding. I did not join them but it was quite odd to see.

Welcome also. 🙂
 
Thank you! That would have been a sight… Must have looked like the bridge club dropped in. 😆
 
Lol

Sniff loudly and often ! Always works :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
 
My family holds hands, but not with others. I am a baby catholic, so I do not know any different.
 
I thought that was pretty funny myself. We actually have women in Mass, you know.
 
I’m with you. I’m seventy and didn’t experience this most of my early church-going life. I don’t like the sign of peace thing or the hand-holding at the Our Father. Especially in flu season. I can avoid the Our Father one but ignoring people at the sign of peace is harder.
 
CilladeRoma said:
Effeminate? Really?
I have heard a lot of reasons for not liking hand-holding, but never this one.
How, exactly, is holding someone’s hand during a communal prayer, effeminate?
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Just a little too “touchy feely.” I don’t think any grown men are inclined to hold the hands of the person next to them - especially another man’s. And then, the “piece de resistance,” if you will, is the elevation of the joined hands at the recitation of “the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory are Yours now and forever.” At which point an unspoken competition takes place - who can raise their hands the highest? Who dares to touch God in the heavens? I have seen children literally lifted off the ground as their parents reach to the ceiling, arms stretched, shirts coming untucked. Or the controlled anguish on a wife’s countenance as her husband squeezes her hand and stretches her arm to the stars. It becomes a “cult of the hands,” in a way.
 
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Tolle_Lege said:
At which point an unspoken competition takes place - who can raise their hands the highest?
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Lol. Yes, there is an elderly couple at my parish, who will occasionally at daily Mass arm wrestle during the Our Father.
 
I notice yyou make a quote from 2011 of what one bishop did. As there is no directions as to what one is to do with one’s hands, and he makes a reule concerning hand holding, he is making liturgical law where there is no exception. It would be interesting to see if, 8 and a half years later, that still is the liturgical law in the diocese.
 
MagdalenaRita said:
Does he come right out and use the word “wrong”. No, but he is pretty clear it is not a posture we are to have and says rather we are to be following the posture of the deacon.
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I think it is rather that Archbishop Sample, being one of the brighter bishops we have, knows a) he doesn’t like it and b) he cannot make law where Rome has clearly chosen to not make law. as to your “individual expression,” he acknowledges families holding hands during the Our Father. He does not explain how blood relations differ from parishioner relations; his comment about not liking it should suffice. In essence, it is okay for some but not all… okay…

As to anyone saying that “until Rome puts its foot down”, that is an interesting comment; Rome has known about it for decades and obviously has no problem with it, as Rome has seen fit not only in the GIRM but also in other documents to state what they want and don’t want. And the silence is deafening.

If you don’t want to hold hands, then don’t. If it offends you, then offer it up for the poor souls in purgatory. Over the years this has been a complaint on the forums; it may be one of the top items repeated ad nauseum. In essence it is innocuous - it is “Our Father”, not “My Father” so there is at least a minimum connection to the prayer and the action. it is far, far less disruptive than people want to make it out to be.

When we have about 75% of Catholics not attending Mass regularly - or at all - I think we could find something worthwhile to be upset about (hint: catechesis they never got, or it never took).
 
Thank you for this thread. I am new to Catholicism (currently in RCIA) and I thought maybe I was the only one out there that is very uncomfortable with the hand-holding. Also, the equally awkward “Greet Your Neighbor” (handshakes expected). It is comforting to know that at least the hand-holding may not exist in other parishes.

I am an introvert, although not extremely so, and I must say, these two things gave me much pause after going to my first mass. Frankly, I thought seriously about not going back at all: “Do I really want this discomfort every week for the rest of my life?” It can be quite a mental roadblock. And if it is unpleasant for me, how much more so for those with social anxiety, OCD, etc? These are things that are not uncommon with people anymore. I also think it would be quite off-putting to the younger generation.

I really like my parish otherwise, and I will continue attending and learning. But I hope that someday these two traditions will die off. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 🙂
 
otjm said:
think it is rather that Archbishop Sample, being one of the brighter bishops we have, knows a) he doesn’t like it and b) he cannot make law where Rome has clearly chosen to not make law
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I was referring to the video of Father Ricardo.
otjm said:
notice yyou make a quote from 2011 of what one bishop did.
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Yes, the same as your statement regarding Archbishop Chaput. I just wanted to point out that different bishops had different thoughts on the subject and that bishops can even change their opinions with time.
Katerina said:
also think it would be quite off-putting to the younger generation.

… I hope that someday these two traditions will die off.
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I do believe the handholding is dying off, slowly.
 
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Katerina said:
Thank you for this thread. I am new to Catholicism (currently in RCIA) and I thought maybe I was the only one out there that is very uncomfortable with the hand-holding. Also, the equally awkward “Greet Your Neighbor” (handshakes expected). It is comforting to know that at least the hand-holding may not exist in other parishes.

I am an introvert, although not extremely so, and I must say, these two things gave me much pause after going to my first mass. Frankly, I thought seriously about not going back at all: “Do I really want this discomfort every week for the rest of my life?” It can be quite a mental roadblock. And if it is unpleasant for me, how much more so for those with social anxiety, OCD, etc? These are things that are not uncommon with people anymore. I also think it would be quite off-putting to the younger generation.

I really like my parish otherwise, and I will continue attending and learning. But I hope that someday these two traditions will die off. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 🙂
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I’m an introvert too. That said, we introverts need to remind ourselves that the Mass isn’t about us worshiping God INDIVIDUALLY but coming together to worship God as a united community: the mystical body of Christ. And this is a requirement of the Catholic church: that each Sunday (or at a vigil Mass on Saturday) we come together as the mystical body of Christ to worship God as a united community.

The good news for introverts like me and you is that the hand-holding during the “Our Father” is NOT required. It’s purely optional. Also during the “Sign of Peace”, one is one expected to give a sign peace ONLY to their immediate neighbors. The sign of peace is a bit overdone is some parishes. And the sign of peace isn’t about “greeting” one’s neighbors but acknowledging (symbolically) that we harbor no ill will towards our neighbors assembled together at the Mass.

And despite being introverts, we shouldn’t be recluses at a Mass and we need to overcome any anxiety we might have about interacting with other parishioners at the Mass, be it at the “Our Father”, the sign of peace or any other part of the Mass. From my experience, prayer helps a lot in overcoming this anxiety that us introverts might have.
 
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The sign of peace has to be one of the most blatant examples of Human social awkwardness at it’s fullest, most of the time.

The next is when everyone from the back of the church rushes forward to be first for communion without any comprehension of " taking turns and forming a que line" 😆
 
That is a problem for me. I’m short, and I have to try to to find a seat near other smaller people. I was nearly lifted off my feet several times.
My biggest problem is that I am trying to prepare to receive Our Lord, and suddenly here comes this communal uproar to deep-six my concentration. I really would prefer they stop the hand-holding and move the Sign of Peace to the beginning of the Mass. And if the Pope calls to get my opinion, I intend to tell him so.
 
Quick question. I admittedly have not read this whole thread, but has anyone taken the time to answer the question in the thread title: why hold hands? I got to thinking that through the years, with all the threads on this topic, I do not recall one person who argued for why we should hold hands during the Our Father? A lot of people point out that it is allowed/not prohibited, others point out why we should not. But is there an argument as to why we should?
 
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