Holding Hands

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Big_Dave

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Hi, I just tried to post in the Apoligist Forum but it would not let me. So, can someone here help me. I am a new catholic. Just started RCIA classes. I notice there are a lot of people concerned about holding hands during the Our Father. Many people do this at the church I go to. After hearing so much debate I don’t know what I should do. If someone extends their hand I hold it but should I reach out to someone to hold their hand?? I don’t want to start off wrong so please help me.??? BTW, I don’t mind the hand holding at all. It seems like a good thing to me.

Thanks, Dave
 
I think the best argument against holding hands is that it injects a “made up” gesture of community into the Mass which tends to overshadow the actual approved gesture of community which follows, the Sign of Peace.

And if people hold hands during the Our Father, why not during the Kyrie, the Gloria, the Sanctus, the Agnus Dei? Those are all communal prayers too. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s just a gimmick that caught on.
 
Be prepared for a lot of responses on this one. I’m someone who isn’t very comfortable with holding hands. I was first introduced to the practice when I was a freshman in college (I’m a junior now), and I have JUST been able to get to the point where I’m able to hold hands with someone who I know a little. I’m still not at the point that I can hold hands with strangers (it’s a sacrifice for me to do it at all, because I don’t like touching people). I comply at school because everyone does it here, and it’s not worth causing problems. If someone were to literally grab my hand (which they would have to do since I always have my hands together during the Lord’s Prayer) I would be very uncomfortable. So if by “reaching out” you mean actually grabbing their hand, I wouldn’t recommend it. But if you mean offering your hand, by all means do. The person can take it if they choose.
 
If you wish to not hold hands, simply fold your hands in a prayer position and bow your head with your eyes closed. Most will not disturb you. If someone should tap on your shoulder in order to hold your hand, you need to decide what action you will take, because it will happen at least once and awhile.

God Bless,
Maria
 
MariaG said:
If you wish to not hold hands, simply fold your hands in a prayer position and bow your head with your eyes closed. Most will not disturb you. If someone should tap on your shoulder in order to hold your hand, you need to decide what action you will take, because it will happen at least once and awhile.

God Bless,
Maria
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Ditto. Since holding hands at Mass is not a requirement, but rather a contrived practice, one is under no obligation to participate. If, like me, you dislike holding hands with strangers or don’t wish to promote contrived gestures, simply follow Maria’s suggestion.

If it’s something you positively like to do, especially with family or close friends, by all means go for it. HOWEVER --and this is MOST IMPORTANT: Do not isn’t on foisting the practice on others or get offended or huffy if your neighbor doesn’t play along. The practice is not required and not everyone likes it.
 
Thank you for this thread. At this time, in our Church, many of us are trying to have a more loving understanding and reverent observance of our liturgy and customs. I pray that we will be Christlike in our acceptance of each other as we grow in this process together.
 
Folks,

Given that the USCCB has said that we should NOT hold hands during the Our Father, I would phrase things a little more strongly. My own practice is to clasp my hands together and close my eyes; if someone taps me on the arm, I smile at him and close my eyes again.
  • Liberian
 
I was never comfortable with the practice. At my previous church, however, everyone serving was required to stand beside the priest behind the altar and all join hands. Lector, Altar Servers, EMHCs…everyone.
 
Nobody should be holding hands during the Our Father or at any other time during the mass since it is not allowed by the GIRM.
 
Sir_Knight said:
Nobody should be holding hands during the Our Father or at any other time during the mass since it is not allowed by the GIRM.
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he Lord’s Prayer
  1. In the Lord’s Prayer a petition is made for daily food, which for Christians means preeminently the eucharistic bread, and also for purification from sin, so that what is holy may, in fact, be given to those who are holy. The priest says the invitation to the prayer, and all the faithful say it with him; the priest alone adds the embolism, which the people conclude with a doxology. The embolism, enlarging upon the last petition of the Lord’s Prayer itself, begs deliverance from the power of evil for the entire community of the faithful.
The invitation, the Prayer itself, the embolism, and the doxology by which the people conclude these things are sung or said aloud.

That’s the GIRM’s passage pertaining to the Lord’s Prayer, show me the prohibition.
 
At a church in my city (I dont attend that church but niece does) she said that two Sundays ago, the deacon announced that he had just gotten back from Rome and that he was told by sombody there (I guess with authority - sorry but my niece didnt have more info) that Rome does not want people holding hands during the Our Father. That holding hands defeats the purpose of the Sign of Peace. It was explained to the congretation and that from now on they were not to hold hands nor stretch out their hands either. That is only to be done by the priest. So at the request of the priest and deacon, nobody is hodling hands any more during the Our Father nor imitating the priestly gestures of the Orans position. It’s about time. BTW in my parish thats one problem we have never had. The priest follows the rubrics exactly. AMAF our priest is so careful regarding the prayers that, even though, he knows the prayers of consecration by memory, he still reads them from the Lectionary. He wants to make sure that he does not forget anything. I have seen some priests that ramble through the prayers and at times forget the words. I saw a priest once almost leave out part of the consecration, but fortunately, the mass was being concelebrated but the second priest said them and that reminded the principal celebrant to say the proper words.
 
…show me the prohibition
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Show me where it says we may hold hands…

Show me the prohibition of shouting “HALLELUJAH” during the consecration.
The GIRM tells what is to be done, not what is prohibited, otherwise the prohibition list would be endless.
 
TobyLue said:
Show me where it says we may hold hands…

Show me the prohibition of shouting “HALLELUJAH” during the consecration.
The GIRM tells what is to be done, not what is prohibited, otherwise the prohibition list would be endless.
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I oppose holding hands, amigo. I challenged our beloved fellow board dweller because he blatantly stated that the GIRM forbids it. The GIRM does not forbid it. Saying so is inaccurate.
 
This is one of the sillier things to get hung up on.

Holding hands is not in the rubrics - this something we can all agree on.

Many things that we do today that are in the rubrics were at one time or another not in the rubrics. Rubrics change. Get used to it.

Nobody is going to hell for holding hands at the Our Father, but it might lead some people closer to Christ because it connects them more closely with the Body on an emotional physical level - maybe.

Holding hands grew out of the charismatic movement and spread from there because people liked it.

I don’t do it - I just fold my hands as though praying, close my eyes and bow my head. Nobody trys to hold my hand except for the occassional little kid - whose hand I immediately take out of charity.

I repeat this is a silly thing to get hung up on and some people really get hung up on it. Don’t be one of them.

(I am so glad I found the bold thingy)
 
Big_Dave said:
Hi, I just tried to post in the Apoligist Forum but it would not let me. So, can someone here help me. I am a new catholic. Just started RCIA classes. I notice there are a lot of people concerned about holding hands during the Our Father. Many people do this at the church I go to. After hearing so much debate I don’t know what I should do. If someone extends their hand I hold it but should I reach out to someone to hold their hand?? I don’t want to start off wrong so please help me.??? BTW, I don’t mind the hand holding at all. It seems like a good thing to me.

Thanks, Dave
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I simply bow my head and close my eyes and either fold my hands in front of myself or just keep them on the pew in front of me. I don’t worry too much about what others around me do or think.

BTW, the GIRM does say that close friends and family may hold hands like that. Truth is…I’m more concerned with what is happening up on that altar…you know…“full, active, conscious, (and joyful), participation.” 😃 That’s what my sig line is all about… in Latin no less. [SIGN]🙂 [/SIGN]
Pax tecum,
 
TimOliv said:
I oppose holding hands, amigo. I challenged our beloved fellow board dweller because he blatantly stated that the GIRM forbids it. The GIRM does not forbid it. Saying so is inaccurate.
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As already answered, the GIRM offers what IS permitted. Anything that ISN’T permitted, IS forbidden.
 
quasimodo said:
Holding hands is not in the rubrics - this something we can all agree on.
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And the GIRM clearly specifies that what is not expressly permitted is prohibited.
but it might lead some people closer to Christ because it connects them more closely with the Body on an emotional physical level - maybe.
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Sin never leads someone closer to God, even if it’s venial.
I repeat this is a silly thing to get hung up on and some people really get hung up on it. Don’t be one of them.
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Given the choice between being hung up on this issue, or being hung on people being hung up on this issue, I’ll choose the former 🙂

And I don’t think answering a person’s question accurately qualifies as being “hung up” on an issue. I don’t support the holding of hands during the Our Father, the raising of the hands in the orans position, or dancing in the aisles. I’m not hung up, just doing the best I can to support the Church’s precepts and teachings.

Jeremy
 
Sir_Knight said:
As already answered, the GIRM offers what IS permitted. Anything that ISN’T permitted, IS forbidden.
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It doesn’t specifically mention breathing is okay. I suppose breathing is not acceptable during mass. Simply because something isn’t in the GIRM does not mean it is prohibited.
 
I always sneeze into my hands just prior to everyone offering their hands, surprisingly enough I never need to hold anothers hand.
 
Tom said:
I always sneeze into my hands just prior to everyone offering their hands, surprisingly enough I never need to hold anothers hand.
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I am intrigued by your methods and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
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