Holy Images and Prayers To Mary And The Saints Freak Me Out

[yahwehsdaughter]

Basically what the title says :/.

As a Protestant I was taught that everyone dies and goes into soul sleep when they die. I was also taught not to trust that visions about heaven or hell, or apparitions, or anything like that because they are caused by demons or are just false imaginations of one’s own mind.

Regarding statues and holy icons, I feel anxiety about most of them, and just don’t like looking at them because they give me uncomfortable vibes similar to how I feel around images and statues of Buddha, Shiva, and other Hindu false gods.

I also feel really creeped out about some of the visions of Mary, most specifically the vision at Lourdes. I was attacked by a ghost in the bathroom when I was 8 and the story of the vision of Mary triggered that for me. At our school around fall, people would usually hear a sound like a cat in the bathroom, then notice the trash can had moved, there would be some other sound, the lights would turn off, and then the door would be locked and the trash can would be in a different place. I wasn’t the only one who experienced this, my teachers did also, and there were lots of complaints of the girl’s bathroom being haunted. I saw a see through blue figure standing in front of me in the darkness and it was blocking me from getting out of the bathroom. Hearing the story about Mary where there was the sound of a wind and a rose appeared before she showed up just triggers memories of me seeing the ghost in my elementary school bathroom. I didn’t feel much comfort knowing the girl who saw Mary was afraid and spraying holy water in her direction. It makes me think the vision wasn’t actually Mary, but a demon, and that causes me to not trust praying the Rosary even though it is said to have so many benefits to it. I worry that if I’m praying it, I’m invoking a demon, but if I don’t pray it, it’s a sign that I’m not predestined.

I want to be saved, but I feel like all my worries and discomfort will keep me from salvation. I just want someone to help me with my doubts or at the very least, pray for me.

 

[SPBlitz]

I was also taught not to trust that visions about heaven or hell, or apparitions, or anything like that because they are caused by demons or are just false imaginations of one’s own mind.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Even as Catholics we are not required to believe any reported vision of Heaven or Hell. We are even free to believe in (or not believe in) reported apparitions of Mary, like at Lourdes.

I know that many Catholics will encourage the goodness and use of statues and icons and such. But my opinion is, if they are helpful to you, then that’s great, and if they aren’t, then don’t give them another thought. You can be a perfectly good Catholic without liking holy pictures or depictions, or without believing in any private revelation or apparitions or the like.

it’s a sign that I’m not predestined.

As Catholics we don’t believe in predestination, so I’d encourage you to not worry too much about that. As to praying the rosary, while it is a beautiful prayer with many great benefits, it is not necessary for salvation. You can go through your entire life without ever saying the rosary and still make it to Heaven. So if it genuinely makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There are other wonderful prayers you can say

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

You can be a perfectly good Catholic without liking holy pictures or depictions, or without believing in any private revelation or apparitions or the like

:sob:Thank you so much for answering! This was weighing heavily on me!

In the list of promises for praying the rosary, the last promise is that praying it daily is a great sign of predestination.

 

[po18guy]

It is written that perfect faith drives out fear. It seems that you may have some unreasonable, intrusive or recurrent thoughts that disturb you. I would speak with a good and holy priest, and most likely your personal physician.

Fears, panic, anxiety are all related. We hear all day about Corona virus, but anxiety is epidemic in our culture. 1 in 5 (64 million Americans) suffer from some form of anxiety.

But, there is hope! With God, there is always hope. Treatment is available if you have some form of anxiety. It usually does not involve drugs.

Ask. Be at peace.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

I know I should get help . My health insurance is garbage and doesn’t do anything for where I’m at. I also don’t have money to just see someone about my anxiety or any problems I have. I’m just living on prayers .

How do I know a priest is “good and holy”? I feel bad for saying this, but I’ve had thoughts since deciding to convert that I shouldn’t because I will be sexually abused by a priest. I know these are thoughts that the Enemy is using against me. I’m worried about a lot of things, tbh, and some of those fears make me afraid to get help. Thank you for writing everything you did though. I know you’re right and I appreciate your concern.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

Are you sure? I used to believe that, but I’m not baptized, I haven’t taken communion, my sins haven’t been confessed, etc. I also don’t know if I will end my life in a state where I’m free from mortal sin and forgiven. I fail so much due to my fears and weaknesses. I just don’t have that kind of confidence that I will be saved.

 

[po18guy]

A good and holy priest will exhibit his holiness - it will be apparent to you in his love of God and his devotion to his flock; in the awe and reverence with which he celebrates the Mass; it will be shown by his mercy and gentleness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He will be patient and kind with you, engaging you, but always maintaining your comfort zone.

As to anxiety, check with municipal, county, state and even federal agencies for help with anxiety. I guarantee you that at least one of them has an outreach program for anxiety sufferers.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

A good and holy priest will exhibit his holiness - it will be apparent to you in his love of God and his devotion to his flock; in the awe and reverence with which he celebrates the Mass; it will be shown by his mercy and gentleness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He will be patient and kind with you, engaging you, but always maintaining your comfort zone.

He sounds like an angel . I hope I find someone so amazing. May God be willing .

Thanks so so so much for your advice about everything. I will check and see if there are outreach programs that can help me. Thank you again, and God bless you so very much!

 

[po18guy]

They are out there! 402,000 of them on any given day. But, they are human and have bad days. Do you? Do I? Lately it seems like most of my days are bad days. Yup. Back in the confessional. Have mercy on Father, as he is certainly overburdened with people who only come to hims when the dam breaks.

There is an old truism:

“I went looking for a friend and found none. I became a friend and found many.”

With patience, it works every time.

One clue is an excellent confessor. The more they reflect Christ in the confessional, the more likely they are to be a great spiritual director and minister.

 

[Viki63]

I used to believe that, but I’m not baptized,

Were you not baptized as a protestant? Most protestant baptisms are valid for Catholics. Do you want to become a Catholic? I would encourage you to talk to a priest; if you are nervous about it, take a friend with you.
It is paranoia to think a priest might abuse you. Most of that all happened years ago, and those priests are mostly deceased. It happened to teen boys who were too intimidated to report it or didn’t realize what was going on. It would not happen to you, and nearly all priests are good and holy people.
God bless.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

No, I was never baptized as a Protestant. I wanted to be, but it just never happened, and I never really found a good church anyway. I always felt out of place due to social anxiety, looking different, and not really knowing all the things I’m supposed to be doing/saying/singing during service. I don’t imagine figuring out how to conduct myself at a mass will be any different, but I’m making myself comfortable with the idea of it. Thank you for your advice and God bless you too.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

Thank you so much for all of your advice! It’s been very helpful. I will try to keep all your words in my heart while looking for a good spiritual father.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Even as Catholics we are not required to believe any reported vision of Heaven or Hell. We are even free to believe in (or not believe in) reported apparitions of Mary, like at Lourdes.

It’s fine to not believe in such things, but when the bishop or Vatican has approved an apparition, it’s wrong to think the apparition was actually demonic. That’s basically saying the bishop or Vatican approved evil. Also, those who choose to not believe in private revelation need to be respectful of those Catholics who do, and need to be able to handle situations such as a priest mentioning Fatima in a homily, or a parish having a huge celebration for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, without freaking out about it.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It is paranoia to think a priest might abuse you.

Yes, this is like being afraid of all teachers, coaches, doctors, or police officers because a percentage of each group committed abuse. The reality is that in every profession there are abusers and priests have the same or less percentage than other professions. Other faiths also have a small percentage of abusive ministers so if one fears priests then one should also fear ministers as priests are not uniquely abusive, they just get a lot more newspaper headlines than Pastor so-and-so who runs a little Protestant church.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

Holy images are art, and not all art is created equal. I considered posting examples of holy images that give me the creeps versus some that give me peace, but I didn’t want to cause you any undue anxiety.

 

[Viki63]

Praying for you that you will find a good church home, and for an increase of Christ’s peace.

 

[Jimbo]

Are you working to become Catholic? If so, are you in an RCIA class?

You don’t have to pray to the saints and Mary. It’s encouraged; but it isn’t required. But you’ll have a hard time finding a Catholic church without any statues.

 

[porthos11]

yahwehsdaughter:

it’s a sign that I’m not predestined.

As Catholics we don’t believe in predestination,

This is not true. We do believe in predestination. What we reject is double predestination.

so I’d encourage you to not worry too much about that. As to praying the rosary, while it is a beautiful prayer with many great benefits, it is not necessary for salvation. You can go through your entire life without ever saying the rosary and still make it to Heaven. So if it genuinely makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There are other wonderful prayers you can say

This is most likely a reference to the so-called promise of the Rosary where it is said that “Devotion to the Rosary is a great sign of predestination” (#15).

However, the OP is engaging a logical fallacy wherein she takes this promise and concludes that since she isn’t currently devoted the Rosary, then that in turn is a sign that she is not predestined. But that is a non-sequitur; not every premise automatically implies a polar opposite. One may not have a devotion to the Rosary, but may still have other great signs of predestination, including a devotion to the Holy Eucharist, lifetime service of the poor out of love for God, love for the Church, devotion to the liturgy and sacraments.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

I’m not in RCIA classes right now. The church I want to join doesn’t start them until the end of September.

I’ll try to get over my irrational fears about the statues.

 

[yahwehsdaughter]

Also, those who choose to not believe in private revelation need to be respectful of those Catholics who do, and need to be able to handle situations such as a priest mentioning Fatima in a homily, or a parish having a huge celebration for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, without freaking out about it.

I feel that I caused a lot of offense by my post . I don’t want to be disrespectful. I want to get over my fears, so I can be a good Catholic. I was just hoping that if I talked about it someone could help me not be afraid anymore. I will try not to freak out about anything and be respectful of the approved apparitions and mentions of them. Maybe God will help me.