Homeschoolers forced into CCD for First Holy Eucharist

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Okay, after much thought, I have to say the following. I am a public school parent - I don’t mean to offend anyone
  1. Homeschool parents are earnest and sincere and successful teaching most of their children most of the faith. (There are always some rebellious kids who don’t want to learn.) I’m sure what they learn is reinforced at home.
  2. Catholic Schools are successful in teaching most kids the most of the faith. Some parents are backing up what the kids learn, some aren’t. Some parents think writing the tuition check teaches their kids the faith by magic.
  3. Religious Ed programs vary in their effectiveness. Some kids learn, some don’t. Some parents back up and reinforce the teachings, some don’t, and some actually undermine the teaching.
So, making sure that the next generation is properly catechized means that we need to include everyone - parents and children, because the polls show that a lot of parents not only don’t know, but they don’t care, and they believe what they want.

In that context, the plight of the DRE and parish priests is truly daunting. I am glad I am not responsible for the souls in a parish!

So, in that environment, what do the parents who are truly active in teaching their children the faith do, whether they be homeschoolers or not? Well, it certainly seems like they have an obligation to their parish, because they are probably the “best” catechized adults the parish has. Shouldn’t the people who know the faith the best be the ones passing it on to the children? Urge the priests and the DREs to develop a program for adult catechesis as well - that is also extremely important.

As to sacraments - yes, canon law allows/requires for parents to teach their children, and it supports asking for sacramental reception when the child is ready. However, I would ask that solutions encompass the entire issue, not just that one small part of it.
Out of 24 pages this is the most OT and thoughtful post yet. Thank you.

I really do stand by the Family Formation found here. I use to be dead set against Family Formation as a CCD teacher but when it is done right like this group does it really is perfect. I was lucky enough to do this program at the church and with the people who created it so I may be bias.
 
Um, the CCD teachers, that also do sacramental prep, are not professionals. 🤷 They are parents. Like me. A home schooling mama, who knows her faith:thumbsup:. Now, the DRE at my parish recently told the parents that children can’t really mortally sin. Yep, I sure am glad that she isn’t teaching my kids… even if she would be considered a “professional”.
Also, I do not believe that there is a world of difference between sacramental prep and faith formation. Proper faith formation leads to sacramental prep. I have the books from my parish for sacramental prep (that is home taught), and there is nothing in the entire book for reconciliation or first Holy Communion, that my children have not already been taught because we live our faith and I am properly teaching faith formation. 🙂
This is partially correct and you know it 👍, if I were a parent in that meeting I would surely have to ask, “You mean before the age of reason, right?” Because once the child reaches the age of reason, 7-8 according to the Church, they can indeed commit a mortal sin. Now, the question arises if they commit as many as someone who is older, probably no because they are still learning so the “full knowledge” aspect of mortal sin is missing.

Now as far as professionals teaching CCD, not likely, most are volunteers, most don’t even continue learning. Parents can indeed teach their children the Faith much better at home but, sometimes it is the obedience that needs to be taught so that is why sometimes a HSed child should attend the Sacramental Prep. classes. In the meantime the parents should be working within the system to get that changed for their Diocese - it happened in mine, when my girls were young enough for Sacramental Prep. home schooling was virtually unheard of and if you think you all are looked at as weird and not to be trusted, think 20+ years ago! Some of you have been HSing this long so you know what I am talking about.

Brenda V.
 
Just catching up with this thread. My hat’s off the New England Priest. Judging from the discourse on this thread, being a parish priest is definitely a thankless job. I honestly don’t know how you guys do it.
I agree. And I am a fan of homeschooling. We have several wonderful homeschooling parents in our parish , including my daughter.
 
Keep in mind that the pastor is ultimately responsible for making sure that the child is properly prepared.** He knows that if the child goes through the parish program, the child will be prepared.** With homeschooling, he can not know that, and if he makes an exception for you, then what about everyone else who wants to follow in your footsteps.

For example, we had a family whose son was in football and CCD class conflicted with practice. Of course, football was the priority and the mother requested to homeschool. The DRE permitted it, and boy was she sorry later. The mother started out making a half-hearted attempt to homeschool and that quickly faded to no attempt at all.

The pastor is not requesting that you stop homeschooling. I think it would be quite nice for your child to receive both parish and home instruction for this important year of sacramental preparation, not to mention the peer interaction she will experience.
This happens to us with each of our 4 kids. Unfortunately CATECHISM (faith formation is a weak term) at our parish is HORRIBLE. My children know more about the faith than the director of the program. What we do is attend as a parent to the class. Then when we get home we undo all of the garbage they were fed at class. In this process all of our kids are full aware of dissent in our parish and by the grace of God been instructed properly all the while learning why the CCD program cannot be trusted.
 
…what do the parents who are truly active in teaching their children the faith do, whether they be homeschoolers or not? Well, it certainly seems like they have an obligation to their parish, because they are probably the “best” catechized adults the parish has. Shouldn’t the people who know the faith the best be the ones passing it on to the children?
I agree!

I worked as an REC for a small military parish in Germany as a pregnant/new mom. I had parents come to me with complaints about the sacramental curriculum. There was no mention of “sin!” The preparation for First Eucharist was lacking! So together, we dug in and made changes.

When I came back to the US and had my oldest in First Communion, wouldn’t you know they handed me the same curriculum! So AS A GROUP and in friendship, the teachers of the First Eucharist class got together and “rewrote” the curriculum - using the Baltimore Catechism and other resources. We started with writing our goals: what do we as parents think our children MUST know to prepare for Penance and Eucharist? We made sure we were all teaching the same thing, and that the priest approved everything we did. It was a bonding and wonderful experience - parents working together with the DRE, everybody with a similar and holy goal. For five years, I worked with parents to develop a strong program at that parish. (It was very similar to what Faith & Life ended up publishing.)

So I have EXPERIENCED that in a spirit of community, we can work together - parents as primary educators, the better catechized parents leading other parents desiring catechesis, priest respected and involved, DRE making sure it all runs smoothly.

Now, I can also tell you that in the sixth year, a new DRE came in and said what we were doing was not “by the book,” and dismantled the program … with blessing of new priest. Yep, that’s how my heart was broken.

So what’s a good Catholic to do? Pick up, brush off, and go out to continue doing God’s work - bringing Christ to the children. So I found another parish, another priest, another DRE.

I think our obligation to share the Good News is extends far beyond our own children. There IS a danger when we homeschool of isolating ourselves. There are so many needy souls in our parishes… when you volunteer to teach CCD, sometimes I think it is like missionary service! Again, what better example to set to your homeschooled children than to begin charity “at home” in your own parish?
 
Post 358:

My answer is No, (to your question). 🙂

I’m “close-enough,” too, but function is a big factor. N.E.Priest was trying to show a certain level of responsibility for compliance. We’re not all just ad-hoc authorities, and I respectfully submit that some parents are taking the “teach your children” clause farther than it was intended for the communal (One Body) good.

That does not mean that I think the blame for poor catechesis lies at the feet of, let alone originates from, parents. Clearly the h-schooling parents here are trying be to part of the solution, and are reacting (partly) to a vacuum, as opposed to haivng (in general) any motivation to subvert.

This thread has not resulted in agreement, for sure, but one thing is clear, and I’m therefore glad it was opened: Hierarchy, do you hear how low the catechesis in the church is? We need a well-trained veritable army of catechists, vetted by faithful clergy, to comply with standards set by Rome. If parents want to "do it in the home,’ they still, i.m.o., need to have the fruit of that teaching verified by clergy (local administering pastor), as opposed to merely requiring him to take the word of parents. Maybe 90%, maybe 100% of educating parents are doing it correctly, accurately, but it’s still the pastor’s responsibility to ensure that, as opposed to merely trusting.

God bless,
E.
 
Post 358:

My answer is No, (to your question). 🙂

I’m “close-enough,” too, but function is a big factor. N.E.Priest was trying to show a certain level of responsibility for compliance. We’re not all just ad-hoc authorities, and I respectfully submit that some parents are taking the “teach your children” clause farther than it was intended for the communal (One Body) good.

That does not mean that I think the blame for poor catechesis lies at the feet of, let alone originates from, parents. Clearly the h-schooling parents here are trying be to part of the solution, and are reacting (partly) to a vacuum, as opposed to haivng (in general) any motivation to subvert.

This thread has not resulted in agreement, for sure, but one thing is clear, and I’m therefore glad it was opened: Hierarchy, do you hear how low the catechesis in the church is? We need a well-trained veritable army of catechists, vetted by faithful clergy, to comply with standards set by Rome. If parents want to "do it in the home,’ they still, i.m.o., need to have the fruit of that teaching verified by clergy (local administering pastor), as opposed to merely requiring him to take the word of parents. Maybe 90%, maybe 100% of educating parents are doing it correctly, accurately, but it’s still the pastor’s responsibility to ensure that, as opposed to merely trusting.

God bless,
E.
There is a slight problem with this “veritable army”. The education of the children lies in two spheres, the parental and the pastoral. The catechists, I suppose, are cooperation in the ministry of the priest in this regard, but an “army” would seem to violate the boundaries of prudence. Would it not be better to build a system to support parents in their role, shifting the activity into that of the lay apostolate? A few catechists can easily assist the priest in verifying the results of parental teaching (something which no one objects to) without running headlong into the complex issues of the boundary between the role of the laity and the role of the clergy.
 
There is a slight problem with this “veritable army”. The education of the children lies in two spheres, the parental and the pastoral. The catechists, I suppose, are cooperation in the ministry of the priest in this regard, but an “army” would seem to violate the boundaries of prudence. Would it not be better to build a system to support parents in their role, shifting the activity into that of the lay apostolate? A few catechists can easily assist the priest in verifying the results of parental teaching (something which no one objects to) without running headlong into the complex issues of the boundary between the role of the laity and the role of the clergy.
Some people need support from the Church in educating their children in the faith. I certainly needed that support years ago when we were struggling to pay to tuition to send our children to Catholic School and we were being drilled that the primary duty of teaching the faith to the children was the duty of the parents (not the school). I understood that but I needed support from the school and at that time I was not getting it. I see nothing wrong with having a “veritable army” of catechists working for the common purpose of educating our children in the faith.
 
This is partially correct and you know it 👍, if I were a parent in that meeting I would surely have to ask, “You mean before the age of reason, right?” Because once the child reaches the age of reason, 7-8 according to the Church, they can indeed commit a mortal sin. Now, the question arises if they commit as many as someone who is older, probably no because they are still learning so the “full knowledge” aspect of mortal sin is missing.

You are absolutely correct. I should have specified, she was talking to the parents that were there for their children’s first reconciliation retreat. She DID mean children that were at least at the age of reason. She was referring to the children sitting there, preparing for their first confession. Telling those parent that those children can’t really mortally sin.
 
Okay, after much thought, I have to say the following. I am a public school parent - I don’t mean to offend anyone
  1. Homeschool parents are earnest and sincere and successful teaching most of their children most of the faith. (There are always some rebellious kids who don’t want to learn.) I’m sure what they learn is reinforced at home.
  2. Catholic Schools are successful in teaching most kids the most of the faith. Some parents are backing up what the kids learn, some aren’t. Some parents think writing the tuition check teaches their kids the faith by magic.
  3. Religious Ed programs vary in their effectiveness. Some kids learn, some don’t. Some parents back up and reinforce the teachings, some don’t, and some actually undermine the teaching.
So, making sure that the next generation is properly catechized means that we need to include everyone - parents and children, because the polls show that a lot of parents not only don’t know, but they don’t care, and they believe what they want.

In that context, the plight of the DRE and parish priests is truly daunting. I am glad I am not responsible for the souls in a parish!

So, in that environment, what do the parents who are truly active in teaching their children the faith do, whether they be homeschoolers or not? Well, it certainly seems like they have an obligation to their parish, because they are probably the “best” catechized adults the parish has. Shouldn’t the people who know the faith the best be the ones passing it on to the children? Urge the priests and the DREs to develop a program for adult catechesis as well - that is also extremely important.

As to sacraments - yes, canon law allows/requires for parents to teach their children, and it supports asking for sacramental reception when the child is ready. However, I would ask that solutions encompass the entire issue, not just that one small part of it.
I want to agree with St. Lucy that this is a very well thought out post. Thank you.
I agree that if a home schooler can they should teach CCD. I agree they may be some of the best catechized adults (though surely there are plenty of very well catechized non home schooling adults, as I mentioned before, I believe the vast majority of posters here fall into that category). But, we need to be realistic, not all home schooling parents are great at group setting teaching, as has been mentioned. Also, like I mentioned before, work schedules do not always lend themselves to this. I agree with you for the most part. I just don’t want to suggest that all home schoolers should be required to teach CCD, because it simply isn’t practical in all cases. I really would teach (again my parish does it home based) if it was needed, and my husband was home. 👍

I do very much agree that home schoolers could be trying to help the DRE and parish priest to come up with a better CCD plan that will help all of the children.
 
You are absolutely correct. I should have specified, she was talking to the parents that were there for their children’s first reconciliation retreat. She DID mean children that were at least at the age of reason. She was referring to the children sitting there, preparing for their first confession. Telling those parent that those children can’t really mortally sin.
Oh, I figured that was the case and that is why my big mouth would have said something ;). At the very least she would have to make it clear what her stance is and I would have something to bring to Fr. about what she said, at my Parish this would not have been accepted by any of the Priests we have had and we have had a variety of them from very meek and quiet to ones who are not afraid to say it like it is! I know this is not true everywhere because in my parish in Phoenix the children made their First Communions a year before they made their first Confession! I questioned it in private with the DRE and was told that the children could not understand what sin was until they were roughly in the fourth grade (say what? I did both in Second grade and you better believe I knew what a sin was, unfortunately at the time I was a new mommy and hadn’t gotten my voice yet.)

Truly, I know there are horrible CCD programs out there, I taught some of them because of the books we were using (trust me, I did my best to fill in where I could) and the parents loved me, one year they wanted me to follow their children up to the next grade level!

At my parish the FHC and Confession teachers got together with the DRE and our Pastor and improved the program, they made it a two year process, Grade 2 is First Confession where they have certain parts of the Baltimore Catechism they have to memorize and they learn more thoroughly about the Ten Commandments and how to apply them to their lives. Third grade is First Communion, more Baltimore Catechsim and more knowledge about Jesus in the Eucharist! Confirmation is a two year process for Public School/Private School students and a one year process for Catholic High School and Home Schooled students. We are a tithing Parish so the only thing the parents pay for is the retreat for Confirmation (and if they can not afford it they can get a reduced cost/free depending on what they need).

Some of what is going on at my Parish is supposed to be going on Diocese wide - I do believe that home schooled students don’t have to attend CCD but they do have to present themselves for testing on the specific questions that must be memorized for Confession and First Holy Communion. I don’t know how well this is being implemented.

I do know that there were those like me who did what Fr. expected of us as far as making sure our students went to CCD and there were other home schooling parents who fought tooth and nail using the codes cited here and only made things worse. In the end those like me got things changed because we were able to show the authorities that homeschoolers are not anti-authority and have a point :D.

Keep up the good work and work within the system to get the Diocesan policy changed, then you will have a leg to stand on (actually two;)) when it comes to approaching your Pastor with your reasonable request.

Brenda V.
 
Oh, I figured that was the case and that is why my big mouth would have said something ;). At the very least she would have to make it clear what her stance is and I would have something to bring to Fr. about what she said, at my Parish this would not have been accepted by any of the Priests we have had and we have had a variety of them from very meek and quiet to ones who are not afraid to say it like it is! I know this is not true everywhere because in my parish in Phoenix the children made their First Communions a year before they made their first Confession! I questioned it in private with the DRE and was told that the children could not understand what sin was until they were roughly in the fourth grade (say what? I did both in Second grade and you better believe I knew what a sin was, unfortunately at the time I was a new mommy and hadn’t gotten my voice yet.)

Truly, I know there are horrible CCD programs out there, I taught some of them because of the books we were using (trust me, I did my best to fill in where I could) and the parents loved me, one year they wanted me to follow their children up to the next grade level!

At my parish the FHC and Confession teachers got together with the DRE and our Pastor and improved the program, they made it a two year process, Grade 2 is First Confession where they have certain parts of the Baltimore Catechism they have to memorize and they learn more thoroughly about the Ten Commandments and how to apply them to their lives. Third grade is First Communion, more Baltimore Catechsim and more knowledge about Jesus in the Eucharist! Confirmation is a two year process for Public School/Private School students and a one year process for Catholic High School and Home Schooled students. We are a tithing Parish so the only thing the parents pay for is the retreat for Confirmation (and if they can not afford it they can get a reduced cost/free depending on what they need).

Some of what is going on at my Parish is supposed to be going on Diocese wide - I do believe that home schooled students don’t have to attend CCD but they do have to present themselves for testing on the specific questions that must be memorized for Confession and First Holy Communion. I don’t know how well this is being implemented.

I do know that there were those like me who did what Fr. expected of us as far as making sure our students went to CCD and there were other home schooling parents who fought tooth and nail using the codes cited here and only made things worse. In the end those like me got things changed because we were able to show the authorities that homeschoolers are not anti-authority and have a point :D.

Keep up the good work and work within the system to get the Diocesan policy changed, then you will have a leg to stand on (actually two;)) when it comes to approaching your Pastor with your reasonable request.

Brenda V.
Actually the parish priest has said something similar about children not needing confession much. Last year as children were preparing for their first communion I asked if confession would be available before hand he looked at me like I had two heads. 🤷 So I wouldn’t have gotten support from him on the issue, unfortunately.
Also, despite my hard core support of home schoolers here who do not want to participate in CCD/sacrament prep, I am turning in homework (even though I think it is silly) on what we’re doing at home with our home based CCD. Though other home schoolers are not. I am not demonstrating any anti-authority behavior. I do not understand why stating that the Church asks this of us would make things worse though. I mean that is an issue with the DRE or parish priest if they want to ignore what the Church asks of us. KWIM? Also, I am not in a parish long enough to see solid changes in how things are done, nor are the parish priests. In fact, in general the DREs are not there long enough to make real changes. So for me and my situation, it only makes sense to serve my family to the best of my ability. Anything I do or say to try to improve the program may not change before I leave, or the parish priest leaves, or the DRE leaves; and once the ones beginning the change move on, then progress grinds to a halt.
On a side note, I’m originally from Phoenix. My family lives there. 👍
 
Actually the parish priest has said something similar about children not needing confession much. Last year as children were preparing for their first communion I asked if confession would be available before hand he looked at me like I had two heads. 🤷 So I wouldn’t have gotten support from him on the issue, unfortunately.
Also, despite my hard core support of home schoolers here who do not want to participate in CCD/sacrament prep, I am turning in homework (even though I think it is silly) on what we’re doing at home with our home based CCD. Though other home schoolers are not. I am not demonstrating any anti-authority behavior. I do not understand why stating that the Church asks this of us would make things worse though. I mean that is an issue with the DRE or parish priest if they want to ignore what the Church asks of us. KWIM? Also, I am not in a parish long enough to see solid changes in how things are done, nor are the parish priests. In fact, in general the DREs are not there long enough to make real changes. So for me and my situation, it only makes sense to serve my family to the best of my ability. Anything I do or say to try to improve the program may not change before I leave, or the parish priest leaves, or the DRE leaves; and once the ones beginning the change move on, then progress grinds to a halt.
On a side note, I’m originally from Phoenix. My family lives there. 👍
See you are one trying your best given the situation which is awful! I know it is not great everywhere but I do know it got better here, where I have been for 28 years! Phoenix may have changed since I was there (29 years ago) and at the time I don’t recall anyone talking about home schooling etc.

RE: the Priest not making Confession available before First Communion? That is awful, I am sure you will make sure your child gets to one of the regular Saturday sessions.

Brenda V.
 
Enrollment in a parish education program is not necessary for a pastor to make that determination.

– Mark L. Chance.
Mark,
I never said it was necessary. However, I know of at least two pastors who require the parish RE so that they can ensure a certain “level” of preparedness for First Reconciliation and First Communion.
 
So, in that environment, what do the parents who are truly active in teaching their children the faith do, whether they be homeschoolers or not? Well, it certainly seems like they have an obligation to their parish, because they are probably the “best” catechized adults the parish has. Shouldn’t the people who know the faith the best be the ones passing it on to the children? Urge the priests and the DREs to develop a program for adult catechesis as well - that is also extremely important…
The presumption there is that such a person is called to classroom style instruction. That cannot be presumed when we are talking about homeschoolers. My wife, for example, is a physicist. She worked well with T.A.’s and one on one’s during office hours. She did not do well with the classroom instruction.

She attended most of the same classes I did for the Diaconate program, so she really knows her stuff theologically.

She teaches our kids, but that works well with her, as 1-1 or 1-few fits in with her gifts. Classrooms do not.

I, on the other hand, regularly present as part of my work, but I work a lot of evenings, so that limits my potential as an instructor.

So just because a person has the necessary knowledge, does not mean that they can effectively pass it on in a classroom format.

That is why I suggested that a pastor simply leverage homeschool parents to conduct the interviews. Homeschooling, by it’s nature, lends itself well for 1-1 interactive testing.

I would, for example, be glad to help on on a Saturday or two under normal circumstances, but that’s not when our parish does CCD.

And our Deacon, of course, is the one who conducts all the interviews ( wiether CCD or homeschooled).
 
Mark,
I never said it was necessary. However, I know of at least two pastors who require the parish RE so that they can ensure a certain “level” of preparedness for First Reconciliation and First Communion.
That is what the interviews are for. The pastor, or their delegate, is supposed to interview each child to assess their preparedness.
 
N.E.Priest was trying to show a certain level of responsibility for compliance. We’re not all just ad-hoc authorities, and I respectfully submit that some parents are taking the “teach your children” clause farther than it was intended for the communal (One Body) good…
The various documents and legal rulings from Rome would contradict you. Father noted that we should disregard what Rome has to say in this regard because he feels that it is not reflective of the ‘real world’.

I think that is too extreme of a position for a Catholic to take.
 
^ I think we will also not reach agreement on this point, either, as I understand what his position is/was about “the real world,” especially since I have also worked in a parish. There are apparently quite a number of points of disagreement on this thread, regarding responsibility levels, authority levels, discretion and decision-making. I had tried to end my contributions earlier by stating that I believe this thread (and its internal disagreements) show in no uncertain terms how much religious education leadership, coordination, and guidance is needed in the church. I do not think that the spirit of Vatican documents is that parents are the sole faith-educators of their children, but that they are the primary ones. I still say, that when it comes to the experience of the sacraments, an additional level of review is proper, and that review, given the flock the pastor must tend to, must be in the form and time of his ‘convenience’ (i.e., realistic possibility).

We will not agree on this, so I will bow out now. 🙂
 
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