Homeschooling - Am I doing it for the right reasons?

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Okay, I have been considering homeschooling our ten year old daughter for a while and would love some advice. I don’t want to use it as a punishment, but I am just so frustrated with schools today I feel like it might come out in my decision to homeschool her.

Tonight at back to school night, the principal announced they were going to a new “prep school model” where the students would be exposed to devices 80% of the day. What?!

I am open to anyone who wants to try and talk some sense into me. Right now I would like to keep her home and teach her with a mix of traditional and classical curriculum materials. Books, math facts, writing…what happened to teaching these in elementary school?

As I see it right now, these are the pros and cons of homeschooling:

Pros: enriched curriculum
lots of math practice
penmanship and writing skills
time to travel

Cons: lack of social connection with peers

Feel free to add to my pros and cons list or to tell me I am reacting too strongly to the principal’s message. Advice needed. 🙂
 
Well, your cons list has very easy solutions. Most homeschoolers have more social interactions with a much wider variety of people than those in traditional schools. Especially if you plan to travel as you state on your pros list. Traditional school interactions are pretty scripted, restricted, and mostly same age/sex socialization. Homeschooler interactions tend to be much more natural. They are involved with people of various ages and stages in life.

Some of the cons I would add to your list:

Lack of free time for parents, especially the main teacher parent

Choosing to let housework slide on school days

Keeping not only kids but yourself focused and not bored

Change in family/educational dynamic that at times takes 2-3 years to overcome. During the first year or two it is common for things to be stressful, learning to slow down, and fighting to increase. I often think if it as growing pains and usually the families that stick with it are glad they did once they get past those first couple of years. But that time is very hard for many families and a lot choose not to stick with the changes

Finding the right balance of school, work, family time

Accepting that the type of education we desire for our kids might not be the best education for THEM. It’s important to base our teaching on our children’s learning style and not our own belief of what education should be. Each child is unique and doing school at home tends not to work as well as homeschooling does. (I currently have 6 full time homeschoolers and a preschooler at home. The schooldays are different for each of the kids. Some are more “unschooled,” my oldest daughter has a classical curriculum, and some are very structured with curriculum similar to their last regular school. I wanted all to have the same classical education, but this works best in order to make learning happen for each one)

The biggest reason I homeschool and something I would add to your pro list:

I’m spending more time getting my kids into heaven. My focus is on teaching them our faith and helping them learn to live it out.

A few other pros:

Family bonds are cemented

Getting to know one another in very different ways than most “school families” since we are deeper involved with aspects they tend to leave to other people

Not being tied to a certain spot/location/schedule

Freedom to learn in a very hands on way. Most of us tend to learn better through living and doing rather than reading or being told.

Whatever you decide, remember it doesn’t have to be permanent. You can switch back and forth between traditional schools, homes schooling, and even change educational styles and curriculums multiple times. Nothing needs to be a one time decision. All pros have cons, and all cons have solutions. Find what works for your family. Be brave enough to try what you feel is best and wise enough to know your limits. If something isn’t working, find solutions even if those solutions are different than your desires. Have the confidence to know you are capable of making whatever choice work. Your desire to do what is best for your child shows you are a good parent. Continue to pray for guidance even after a decision is made. May God bless you and your family.
 
lax16 said:
Okay, I have been considering homeschooling our ten year old daughter for a while and would love some advice. I don’t want to use it as a punishment, but I am just so frustrated with schools today I feel like it might come out in my decision to homeschool her.

Tonight at back to school night, the principal announced they were going to a new “prep school model” where the students would be exposed to devices 80% of the day. What?!

I am open to anyone who wants to try and talk some sense into me. Right now I would like to keep her home and teach her with a mix of traditional and classical curriculum materials. Books, math facts, writing…what happened to teaching these in elementary school?

As I see it right now, these are the pros and cons of homeschooling:

Pros: enriched curriculum
lots of math practice
penmanship and writing skills
time to travel

Cons: lack of social connection with peers

Feel free to add to my pros and cons list or to tell me I am reacting too strongly to the principal’s message. Advice needed. 🙂
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As a public school teacher, I am right there with you on the frustration! :banghead:

What’s happened to education is that the higher-ups (district administration, and local and state-level politicians) want schools to look good “on paper.” They choose the latest new program – which is usually untested as to validity, reliability, and effectiveness – and then threaten teachers with loss of their jobs if they don’t toe the line.

sigh

So homeschooling is definitely an option for you. Most of my friends homeschool their children and are very successful at it. A couple have gone back and forth with homeschooling and private or charter school.

Depending on where you live and your means, a charter school or a private school may be a better option for your family if you decide not to homeschool. My son attends our parish school, and because it is a low-income area, their technology is way behind. So my son is rarely on devices at school. 👍

Do what you think is best for your daughter. God bless you in your decision!
 
I agree with Monica.

Having worked in a Catholic school for 10 years, I can tell you that many of these “innovations” are put into place and demanded by the parents.
Catholic schools long ago abandoned the faith as their primary concern, in an effort to compete with the Private schools. Why? Because we have no more (essentially) free labor. No nuns. The cost of running a school is astronomical. Catholic parents say "if I’m going to spend THIS much, you’d better offer this this this that this this that, like “INSERT TONEY PREP SCHOOL NAME HERE”.

Do what you think is best, and leave it in God’s hands.
Just make sure you have looked at every other traditional school possibility in your area first. I do think that regular school is better for most kids, but that’s only my opinion.

My opinion may not work for your family.
I’ll pray for your discernment.
 
lax16 said:
Okay, I have been considering homeschooling our ten year old daughter for a while and would love some advice. I don’t want to use it as a punishment, but I am just so frustrated with schools today I feel like it might come out in my decision to homeschool her.

Tonight at back to school night, the principal announced they were going to a new “prep school model” where the students would be exposed to devices 80% of the day. What?!

I am open to anyone who wants to try and talk some sense into me. Right now I would like to keep her home and teach her with a mix of traditional and classical curriculum materials. Books, math facts, writing…what happened to teaching these in elementary school?

As I see it right now, these are the pros and cons of homeschooling:

Pros: enriched curriculum
lots of math practice
penmanship and writing skills
time to travel

Cons: lack of social connection with peers

Feel free to add to my pros and cons list or to tell me I am reacting too strongly to the principal’s message. Advice needed. 🙂
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Can you clarify what you mean by exposed to devices 80% of the day?
 
I’ve experienced your frustration! It’s maddening!

That said, I have a mix going on in my house; homeschool, private (non-religious) and public. The Catholic schools in the area copy the public schools in curriculum, and unfortunately, after decades of bad catechesis, our archdiocese is still short in teachers that are solidly founded in their faith. It’s getting better, but the religion classes still lack considerably, so I prefer to handle religion at home.

As far as homeschooling, I found my kids to be much better socialized! The kids who only went to schools and never homeschooled are much more stunted in their social skills. They are used to only communicating with their circle of friends. My homeschoolers, on the other hand, are very adept at navigating a room of strangers and making friends quickly. I saw the quick turn around in their behavior as soon as I began homeschooling (with in 4 months) and I never recognized the problem before. It was only after homeschooling that I realized the negative impact the classroom had on socialization. I would never have guessed this would be the case.

Just because you choose to homeschool this year, does not mean it has to be forever. If it doesn’t suit your family, you can always change your mind. Just be sure to not burn any bridges if you leave your school so you can return if you need to. Look towards the skills your child will need for middle school or high school to determine what you need to focus on. In fifth grade, there should be a lot of reading, some increase in the level of writing ability along with researching a simple subject, math facts should be solid in their minds to prepare for the algebra that they are being introduced to, and a love for the science and arts fostered (i.e.: make that enjoyable, it’s the critical thinking and math skills that will benefit them the most in the upper grades of science.). Vocabulary is also critical to reading skills, but can be done through your choice of classic books and/or vocabulary books. I like Wordly Wise for vocabulary.

Good luck to you in your decision. Do it with a calm head, and prayer will give you the peace you need for your decision.
 
Additional:

Pro: keep kid from getting corrupted by the current sexual fanaticism in the young generation. Improves their chance of holiness and also getting the **parents **out of Purgatory!

Con: Will be physically exhausting to the parents. Forces them to push the limits of their own learning.

I’d still do it if I had children. Count the cost and go for it.

ICXC NIKA
 
Have you looked into classical schools? I teach at an wonderful little one in the Boston area 🙂
 
Pros:
  • Can tailor learning to the child
  • Lots of one on one time!
  • Can ensure the child is learning good values
  • Breaks can be taken when needed, instead of only getting 20 minutes of recess like at schools in my area
  • You can finish up in a few hours (so I’m told) and then spend the rest of the day how you like (sports, exploring the outdoors, visiting museums, etc)
  • Low cost
Cons:
  • It’s a lot of work for the parent
  • You need a lot of patience and discipline
  • Dealing with judgment of others for choosing to homeschool
 
Leaving religion aside, studies have shown that homeschooled children score as well or better than children in regular schools. However…obviously homeschooled children are a self-selected, elite group. As all sorts of studies have shown, academic success correlates best with family income, no matter where the students go to school. I suspect that most parents who homeschool are above average in income–if not, the mother would be working!!! So the real question should be: would homeschooled children do better academically if they were in regular schools? No way to test that. Do they do as well in isolation as they might if they were competing with others? I personally am very, very skeptical of the studies that suggest homeschooled children do as well or better–not because they don’t have high scores, but because they should have high scores. The real question is would they have higher scores if they were in regular schools?

I’ve always marvelled at homeschool parents who do the teaching! How on earth did they get so smart??? Maybe we could all teach grades 1 and 2, but 9-12? Really?
And without any teacher training whatsoever (unless you happened to be a teacher)?

As for socialization, some of the studies are based on questionnaires filled out by parents. If would be the rare parent who would rate his/her children as deficient in socialization skills. None of us would admit to that! Other questionnaires given to children may or may not reflect the actual situation. Virtually no studies have been done on actual behavior: for example, does the child have friends from the immediate neighborhood, or from a wider area? Does the child have friends of different racial, economic, or social backgrounds? Compare homeschooled to regular schooled children on that one.

And, unless mommy or daddy owns a business, your child will have to go out into the bad, bad world and compete and interact with a vast range of people. How’s that going to work out?

If someone can point to good studies that answer my arguments, please share them. But please don’t simply write back that Susie or Johnny is this or that–they are self-selected, and of course they are superior…that’s my point.
 
Homeschooling done properly is the best system by far. Most public schooling is still conducted on an industrial basis from back when most students would become industrial workers. When you view an old factory photo you see rows of work stations, not too far different from rows of school desks. This is great if all you want is obedient little sheep.
 
I think that when people discuss homeschooling, we have to keep in mind that people homeschool for many different reasons and in many different ways.

Some homeschool mostly because the local traditional schools are academically subpar. Some homeschool as part of an overall strategy to keep their children isolated from the “big bad world”. Some families homeschool some of their children but not all.

Also, some homeschool models are really not that different from “traditional school” such as the co-op model, where a group of parents pool their time to teach children, some co-ops even rent out classroom space. Some parents will also homeschool their kids on basic topics but enroll them in traditional school for subjects such as science, since most of the lab work required for HS level courses aren’t possible to conduct at home without spending a lot of money on equipment.

The curriculum used also plays a big role. Seton and other widely used curricula seem to provide a good foundational education. The ATI curriculum (the one used by the Bates and Duggars), not so much.

ETA: And note, even Michelle Duggar gets help from at least one paid “tutor” and certainly her older kids help homeschool the younger kids. Homeschooling that involves one super-parent teaching a large number of children, and doing all of the other household work, with no help from anyone, I suspect is not as widespread as many think.
 
lax16 said:
Tonight at back to school night, the principal announced they were going to a new “prep school model” where the students would be exposed to devices 80% of the day. What?!
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I’m not sure if the above is your main issue with your school, or sort of the straw that broke the camel’s back. But if it’s a main concern, I would ask the principal what exactly is going on during the “device exposure” time. I know that some of my teaching colleagues have the text online instead of in books. Same books/stories being read, just off a screen instead of on paper 🤷 I don’t know if it’s cheaper or just looks futuristic or what. But it could be that the same material would be covered even though a device is used.

Ask for more information. Maybe if enough parents question it, they’ll reverse the decision.
 
If your main beef is the use of devices, maybe you need to relax and breathe.

Here in TX due to the mountainous cost of textbooks, they are being gradually replaced by tablets.

ICXC NIKA
 
If you have to homeschool to avoid high levels of device use/dependence, by all means do so. That’s one of the biggest experiments being run right now on kids and the results are pretty terrible already.
 
lax16 said:
Tonight at back to school night, the principal announced they were going to a new “prep school model” where the students would be exposed to devices 80% of the day. What?!
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Can you elaborate on why this is awful?
 
ThePCWife said:
If you have to homeschool to avoid high levels of device use/dependence, by all means do so. That’s one of the biggest experiments being run right now on kids and the results are pretty terrible already.
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Okay, I always find it ironic when people post on an Internet site to lament “high levels of device use”.

As GEddie noted, e-books are much cheaper than paper books even on a retail level, and I’m sure that is the case on an institutional level.

And while I realize there is a point at which “device use” goes too far, it is also true that essentially all professional journals have websites now, and some smaller ones have ceased their print editions altogether.

Many people, especially working people, attend college electronically, that would not be able to attend a traditional college. I know of at least one CAF members who had a child attend “Internet school”.

Even the Bates and Duggars depend on computers and cell phones to some extent to maintain ties in their community, as ATI followers are widespread but a small enough group that they have to venture many miles beyond the local area to find people who share their beliefs.

On the other hand, if the school is not going to adequately supervise this exposure to devices, then certainly I can see why the OP would be concerned.
 
ToeInTheWater said:
Okay, I always find it ironic when people post on an Internet site to lament “high levels of device use”.

As GEddie noted, e-books are much cheaper than paper books even on a retail level, and I’m sure that is the case on an institutional level.

And while I realize there is a point at which “device use” goes too far, it is also true that essentially all professional journals have websites now, and some smaller ones have ceased their print editions altogether.

Many people, especially working people, attend college electronically, that would not be able to attend a traditional college. I know of at least one CAF members who had a child attend “Internet school”.

Even the Bates and Duggars depend on computers and cell phones to some extent to maintain ties in their community, as ATI followers are widespread but a small enough group that they have to venture many miles beyond the local area to find people who share their beliefs.

On the other hand, if the school is not going to adequately supervise this exposure to devices, then certainly I can see why the OP would be concerned.
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I didn’t use the internet until adulthood. Children as young as 12 months old having tablets pushed on them is new, it’s pretty terrible when you see them years later unable to interact with other people at all. And the push to have e-everything in schools is mysteriously not happening where rich or powerful people educate their kids. Those schools are device-free more and more.

It’s really bad with a lot of kids aged 4-10 around us. It’s qualitatively different than even plunking kids in front of six hours of barney cartoons, and not for the better.
 
I think I know what you mean by “gadgets.” All the fancy technology stuff with no pens, paper, books or notebooks…everything is online. Yuck. It also helps the school save money because supplies are cheaper.

I cyber school, and my son gets religious Ed through youth group and course materials we buy. However, because we see the cyber school eliminating textbooks, we buy those so he can mark them up, take notes, etc.

The newest Catholic high school to open was designed to provide a classical education. There is an additional one in the City. These two schools have priests teach theology. He will attend one of these two schools. However, pianistclare is correct. We lost a lot of free teachers with good catechism, and parents will be quick to pull their kids from grammar school if the school doesn’t have the latest and greatest.

We will bring your intentions to Adoration. Christ always provides us an answer.
 
Thanks for all of the answers, suggestions and advice.

I love my CAF friends!! 🙂
 
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