Homeschooling - Am I doing it for the right reasons?

[lax16]

Have you looked into classical schools? I teach at an wonderful little one in the Boston area

My three older children attended a classical Catholic school when we lived in California. There aren’t any in Utah but have read about some in Texas and Arizona.

Tell me more about yours!

 

[lax16]

Pros:

• Can tailor learning to the child
• Lots of one on one time!
• Can ensure the child is learning good values
• Breaks can be taken when needed, instead of only getting 20 minutes of recess like at schools in my area
• You can finish up in a few hours (so I’m told) and then spend the rest of the day how you like (sports, exploring the outdoors, visiting museums, etc)
• Low cost

Cons:

• It’s a lot of work for the parent
• You need a lot of patience and discipline
• Dealing with judgment of others for choosing to homeschool

One more con for us: no social interaction except for mom and dad unless we travel to visit relatives

 

[lax16]

Leaving religion aside, studies have shown that homeschooled children score as well or better than children in regular schools. However…obviously homeschooled children are a self-selected, elite group. As all sorts of studies have shown, academic success correlates best with family income, no matter where the students go to school. I suspect that most parents who homeschool are above average in income–if not, the mother would be working!!! So the real question should be: would homeschooled children do better academically if they were in regular schools? No way to test that. Do they do as well in isolation as they might if they were competing with others? I personally am very, very skeptical of the studies that suggest homeschooled children do as well or better–not because they don’t have high scores, but because they should have high scores. The real question is would they have higher scores if they were in regular schools?

I would say that half of the homeschooling families I have known are above average in income levels, but the other half are definitely not. The families are large and the mothers choose to stay home to take care of the needs of the family.

I think the children do better because of the one on one instruction, varied instruction and curriculum tailored to the student’s learning style and lack of social distraction.

I’ve always marvelled at homeschool parents who do the teaching! How on earth did they get so smart??? Maybe we could all teach grades 1 and 2, but 9-12? Really?
And without any teacher training whatsoever (unless you happened to be a teacher)?

Most of the mothers I know that homeschool are college educated. I have a masters degree in special education and know that I am equipped to teach my own children (and others, too).

Homeschool curriculum come with teaching guides that help all parents to lead the instruction.

As for socialization, some of the studies are based on questionnaires filled out by parents. If would be the rare parent who would rate his/her children as deficient in socialization skills. None of us would admit to that! Other questionnaires given to children may or may not reflect the actual situation. Virtually no studies have been done on actual behavior: for example, does the child have friends from the immediate neighborhood, or from a wider area? Does the child have friends of different racial, economic, or social backgrounds? Compare homeschooled to regular schooled children on that one.

The homeschool kids I know have very good manners. Something sorely lacking in the kids I know around here.

And, unless mommy or daddy owns a business, your child will have to go out into the bad, bad world and compete and interact with a vast range of people. How’s that going to work out?

We travel and have lived in different states so our children are not sheltered. We live in the bad, bad world of different people - Utah!

If someone can point to good studies that answer my arguments, please share them. But please don’t simply write back that Susie or Johnny is this or that–they are self-selected, and of course they are superior…that’s my point.

I don’t have any studies on this. My older children went through Catholic/charter/Lutheran schools and were not homeschooled so I am not up on it.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[lax16]

Homeschooling done properly is the best system by far. Most public schooling is still conducted on an industrial basis from back when most students would become industrial workers. When you view an old factory photo you see rows of work stations, not too far different from rows of school desks. This is great if all you want is obedient little sheep.

Right - no I definitely don’t want to raise sheep unless they are being obedient to God.

I definitely prefer a classical education, that’s for sure.

 

[lax16]

I think that when people discuss homeschooling, we have to keep in mind that people homeschool for many different reasons and in many different ways.

Some homeschool mostly because the local traditional schools are academically subpar. Some homeschool as part of an overall strategy to keep their children isolated from the “big bad world”. Some families homeschool some of their children but not all.

Also, some homeschool models are really not that different from “traditional school” such as the co-op model, where a group of parents pool their time to teach children, some co-ops even rent out classroom space. Some parents will also homeschool their kids on basic topics but enroll them in traditional school for subjects such as science, since most of the lab work required for HS level courses aren’t possible to conduct at home without spending a lot of money on equipment.

I definitely won’t have access to this. We would be on our own.

The curriculum used also plays a big role. Seton and other widely used curricula seem to provide a good foundational education. The ATI curriculum (the one used by the Bates and Duggars), not so much.

I have supplemented using Seton, Beautiful Feet and Nancy Larson science materials. I really enjoy using these.

ETA: And note, even Michelle Duggar gets help from at least one paid “tutor” and certainly her older kids help homeschool the younger kids. Homeschooling that involves one super-parent teaching a large number of children, and doing all of the other household work, with no help from anyone, I suspect is not as widespread as many think.

I know of very highly successful families that use tutors as well and their children have been accepted into very prestigious colleges. This was important to these families.

I would probably need a science tutor for the high school level.

 

[pianistclare]

Since you have a Masters in Education…
Go for it.
You’ll be fine. You have way more experience than the average person just starting out. Just make sure your kids are real involved in their Sunday school. Not because you can’t homeschool the faith, but that’s where you will find like-minded families to interact with outside of the Homeschool Network.

 

[lax16]

I’m not sure if the above is your main issue with your school, or sort of the straw that broke the camel’s back. But if it’s a main concern, I would ask the principal what exactly is going on during the “device exposure” time. I know that some of my teaching colleagues have the text online instead of in books. Same books/stories being read, just off a screen instead of on paper I don’t know if it’s cheaper or just looks futuristic or what. But it could be that the same material would be covered even though a device is used.

Ask for more information. Maybe if enough parents question it, they’ll reverse the decision.

Very good observation. Yes, I need to ask myself if this is the straw the broke the camel’s back. Honestly, I was very frustrated when he implemented Common Core a few years ago. My solution: supplemental homeschool materials.

I feel this is another fad and the principal, IMO, is all over the map with his educational philosophy and is a bit of a computer geek.

Another concern I have is our daughter tends to have ADD and gives up on things too easily. I feel that the use of devices will make this worse. She needs to learn to slow down, work on problems until she figures it out and not have a meltdown when she doesn’t have an answer in ten seconds. No exaggeration.

 

[lax16]

If your main beef is the use of devices, maybe you need to relax and breathe.

Here in TX due to the mountainous cost of textbooks, they are being gradually replaced by tablets.

ICXC NIKA

Relax and breathe - yes, thanks for the reminder!

If schools used good literature instead of textbooks to teach their subjects, they wouldn’t have this problem.

 

[lax16]

If you have to homeschool to avoid high levels of device use/dependence, by all means do so. That’s one of the biggest experiments being run right now on kids and the results are pretty terrible already.

Yes and I am tired of my daughter being a guinea pig for all of these new teaching fads!

 

[lax16]

Can you elaborate on why this is awful?

1. I work in a high school that just had to implement a mandatory reading section into the school day to get the students reading** books** and to get them off their devices
2. My daughter is hooked on electronics and fights me to do her schoolwork that requires effort (math, handwriting…)
3. The teacher said at back to school night that they are already having problems with the students being on social media at night and are bringing these problems to school the next day
4. I don’t think any, ANY, student needs more computer time. They have hours of it each day
5. I know for a fact students are not reading as much as they used to and stink at math
6. She is my youngest child and I am very skeptical about anything new when it comes to education
7. Her older siblings are telling me to keep her off devices
8. The school library has been turned in to the Learning Commons
9. Our daughter was three to five grade levels ahead in all subjects and is now at grade level
10. Our daughter gets in the car everyday complaining that she is the only kid without a phone/ipad/device
11. My daughter is beginning to question my authority and thinks her friends know better
12. I don’t trust the educational direction the school is taking. Nothing to back it up.
13. I am old school on all things and it certainly helped with my older kids. I am not going to change things now.

I could go on forever! I truly hate how technology is robbing our children of their problem-solving skills.

 

[lax16]

Okay, I always find it ironic when people post on an Internet site to lament “high levels of device use”.

As GEddie noted, e-books are much cheaper than paper books even on a retail level, and I’m sure that is the case on an institutional level.

And while I realize there is a point at which “device use” goes too far, it is also true that essentially all professional journals have websites now, and some smaller ones have ceased their print editions altogether.

Many people, especially working people, attend college electronically, that would not be able to attend a traditional college. I know of at least one CAF members who had a child attend “Internet school”.

Even the Bates and Duggars depend on computers and cell phones to some extent to maintain ties in their community, as ATI followers are widespread but a small enough group that they have to venture many miles beyond the local area to find people who share their beliefs.

On the other hand, if the school is not going to adequately supervise this exposure to devices, then certainly I can see why the OP would be concerned.

Good points. My answer to that is that it is very different for an adult to turn to the computer as a tool than it is for a child to grow up being dependent on one for everything.

I learned to type on a computer, do long math problems, perfect my handwriting, color for hours, trace pictures on a window…my daughter can’t sit and do this for two minutes.

But she will sit for a device for hours if I let her.

 

[lax16]

I think I know what you mean by “gadgets.” All the fancy technology stuff with no pens, paper, books or notebooks…everything is online. Yuck. It also helps the school save money because supplies are cheaper.

I cyber school, and my son gets religious Ed through youth group and course materials we buy. However, because we see the cyber school eliminating textbooks, we buy those so he can mark them up, take notes, etc.

The newest Catholic high school to open was designed to provide a classical education. There is an additional one in the City. These two schools have priests teach theology. He will attend one of these two schools. However, pianistclare is correct. We lost a lot of free teachers with good catechism, and parents will be quick to pull their kids from grammar school if the school doesn’t have the latest and greatest.

We will bring your intentions to Adoration. Christ always provides us an answer.

I wish we had a classical school in our area.

Thank you for bringing my intentions to Jesus.

 

[lax16]

We’ve got dr appts regularly here too. One thing that helps with us is bringing their favorite class to work on while waiting in the waiting room. They read in the car (the appts tend to be about 80 miles away), we eat a snack, then head up to whichever kid’s appt. It took a while, but they are now in the habit of getting their schoolwork out while we wait. Some of mine can sit out in the waiting room depending on who has an appt (older kids can watch some younger ones, but if it’s their appt we all need to go back). If we all go back, often the kids sit outside the door and continue to work unless we are in a larger exam room that can accommodate us all.

Traveling is a wonderful way for children to learn. It opens their eyes to so many differences and helps them see there are many possibilities in life. Visiting family is a wonderful thing to do. School work is portable and can be tailored to the trip. So many possibilities!

What are your daughter’s thoughts on homeschooling? I feel strongly that it is a parental decision, but at 10 she should be able to make suggestions as well. If she’s on board, the transition will be smoother. It can work regardless of her feelings though.

She has asked to be homeschooled for years, but now she is hesitant because her friends are beginning to mean so much to her. You know, fifth grade stuff.

I have told her I am thinking about it and she begins to cry. She also really misses her three siblings that all just moved out of the house.

 

[lax16]

You can get to know other homeschooling groups to have the social interaction

to be honest, I think being exposed to devices 80% of the day is way too much, I think it’s not healthy for children, physically or mentally. I’d have reservations too. It’s a modern “trend” in education.

There are only a handful of Catholic homeschooling families in our state.

 

[bitterhope]

She has asked to be homeschooled for years, but now she is hesitant because her friends are beginning to mean so much to her. You know, fifth grade stuff.

I have told her I am thinking about it and she begins to cry. She also really misses her three siblings that all just moved out of the house.

Did I read correctly that all three siblings moved out within the last 5 months? That’s a lot of loss for your daughter in less than half a year. I remember my siblings moving out very clearly. It hurt. And they did it one at a time over the span of years. The ones I fought with the most were the ones I missed the most. Actually the oldest two were at college before I was born and it still was hard watching the others leave. I’ll pray for your daughter. I’ll pray for you too. My oldest just left for college this year as well. I’m missing him like crazy although I’m proud of him and so happy for him. He is on his way to living out his dreams and that is exactly where he needs to be. But as a mom it is oh so tough! My kids are doing ok with it so far, but it’s only been a very short time my boy has been gone.

Perhaps playing up the increased travel and new opportunities available for socialization might be the way to go if you do decide to homeschool. Start by working out ways to be sure friends are able to keep in contact. Make plans to get them together, exchange addresses so that while you travel, pictures and letters, perhaps small souvenirs, can be mailed back and forth. Make sure you stay active in your parish so she can socialize there if other opportunities don’t pan out.

 

[lax16]

Since you have a Masters in Education…
Go for it.
You’ll be fine. You have way more experience than the average person just starting out. Just make sure your kids are real involved in their Sunday school. Not because you can’t homeschool the faith, but that’s where you will find like-minded families to interact with outside of the Homeschool Network.

I didn’t think about the religious education part of this - yes I would need to enroll her in religious ed classes at church.

Unfortunately, I’m feeling isolated from other like-minded families.

 

[AClaire11]

Does she not do any extracurricular activities outside of school? Are there any good ones she might be interested in? That way she’ll feel less isolated.

 

[lax16]

Did I read correctly that all three siblings moved out within the last 5 months? That’s a lot of loss for your daughter in less than half a year. I remember my siblings moving out very clearly. It hurt. And they did it one at a time over the span of years. The ones I fought with the most were the ones I missed the most. Actually the oldest two were at college before I was born and it still was hard watching the others leave. I’ll pray for your daughter. I’ll pray for you too. My oldest just left for college this year as well. I’m missing him like crazy although I’m proud of him and so happy for him. He is on his way to living out his dreams and that is exactly where he needs to be. But as a mom it is oh so tough! My kids are doing ok with it so far, but it’s only been a very short time my boy has been gone.

Yes, I’m crying just reading your post. The oldest got married and moved across the country in April. Her brother and sister went away to college just a couple of weeks ago. She was always with them.

I’m sure if she feels just a fraction of how I am feeling she must be sad.

I am so proud of my older kids. They are all trying so hard to do the right thing and make something of themselves. And they are all practicing their faith as well.

Perhaps playing up the increased travel and new opportunities available for socialization might be the way to go if you do decide to homeschool. Start by working out ways to be sure friends are able to keep in contact. Make plans to get them together, exchange addresses so that while you travel, pictures and letters, perhaps small souvenirs, can be mailed back and forth. Make sure you stay active in your parish so she can socialize there if other opportunities don’t pan out.

Wonderful suggestions. Thank you!

 

[lax16]

Does she not do any extracurricular activities outside of school? Are there any good ones she might be interested in? That way she’ll feel less isolated.

Everything is dominated by the dominant culture here so she is becoming less interested in joining things. Her first question when her dad asked if she wanted to join karate was “will there be lots of mormon kids there?” When I asked her why that matters, she said because they always ask her what religion she is and then they hang out with the kids they know, excluding her.

She even stopped going to her favorite farm camp because of it.

I’m so tired of it.

 

[pianistclare]

OK, this is going to sound funny but…
Music lessons.
Ballet lessons.
Ceramic class.
Anything where she meets others, not necessarily a gob of people but she begins to realize that your support system doesn’t always come from school or inside the house.

It could help with her ability to focus and could give her an outlet.
Guitar can be a great instrument to begin with. Noodle around with one in her room, compose a few songs, great ice breaker at parties…

All of which help her in the long run when she has to go before people for :
school related competitions, interviews, and job prospects in the future.

It would nice for her to discover “her” thing.
Something that feeds her, stimulates her brain, and is singularly her own.
Kids love this.
It makes them feel unique. Which goes a long way to replace the 5th grade angst and drama. Once she becomes the cool kid in her circle with an interesting talent, the friends will continue to include her.
God bless you both.