Honouring my husband AND my faith

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sixofseven

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Hi,
I have been married almost 11 years to my non-denominational Christian husband and we have four children.
So far so good, children are being raised Catholic and go to the Catholic school.
Lately he has been getting more involved in our local Baptist Church and has been asked and interviewed to become a member, which he has agreed to do.
I’m feeling a crisis of how I honour him AND continue my task of raising our children Catholic? DH has already been told by one of the elders that as he his the head of the family, we should all be attending church with him, and DH said he does not expect me to go, but will now expect our children to.
I have prayed for his conversion since we were dating…this wasn’t quite what I was expecting!
Is anyone in a similar situation and how have you managed it?
 
I assume that when you got married, you and your husband agreed that the children would be raised Catholic, since he’s apparently been allowing that for years without complaint. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with pointedly reminding him of that agreement.

“Sweetheart, I’m glad you found a place that you feel at home, but we agreed that the kids would be raised Catholic. Going back on that agreement now would just confuse them and it’s unfair to me. They’re Catholic.”
 
Thank you. He has no problem them continuing to be Catholic And receive the Sacraments as they grow older but he does want them at church with him. I think it’s partially an “image” thing for him but I don’t think that’s fair on the kids.
 
Can you explain what your concern is? If you’ve only been married for 11 years, I’m guessing your kids are still young. They’re still learning the faith and suddenly attending two churches is going to be confusing for them.
 
Will your husband promise not to let the Baptists proselytize the children?
Could you attend with them to guard against that possibility?

If this ideas don’t help then I think you need to insist that he keep his wedding promise. May God protect you and them, and may God guide your husband.
 
Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to explain (peacefully) that the Baptist church is less than 500 years old, was not founded by Christ, and does not do everything the Bible says to do (James 5:16: “Confess your sins to one another” - the word for “sins” here is “hamartias”, the standard Greek word for “sin.”) Not sure if this will be helpful, but just an idea.
 
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I could attend, I was hoping to avoid sending everyone to Mass and another service every weekend - what I’ve read is that it’s just exhausting and confusing. It was ok when it was just us and no kids, but different now.
I think we need to have some more dialogue on it, thank you for your suggestions and prayers are very welcome!
 
Thank you. We are in a small town and there is no other option for him, he wants to belong somewhere and contribute which I can empathise with. I have suggested that he makes sure he knows what the Baptist church teaches and whether it holds to his understanding and belief. I know that he does not agree with their teaching on baptism of immersion only, and he does not believe in OSAS.
 
sixofseven said:
but will now expect our children to
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They are Catholics and this will confuse them. You need to get into counseling with your pastor. He made a promise at their baptism. He must honor it.

The answer has to be “no”.
 
I am sorry you have to go through this.

IMO I don’t think you should attend the church at all. How can you explain to the kids you disbelive in the Baptist teachings if they see you attending their church??? Just will add to the confusion.

But my REAL concern is hubby wants the kids there as an ‘image’ thing. Sounds like he is alreay open to their influence. I would remind him gently that the pharasies were all about image
 
Well… there is the option of going to the Catholic church with his family
 
I agree, but I’m conflicted with my role as wife (submitting) and mother (teaching), and him being the head of the family.
 
We go to Mass with my family, but I am often on my own or with only one or two of the kids. DH will only come if it’s an important occasion, he readily will go to baptisms, weddings, the children’s school Masses etc but will not come just regularly as a family.

We have discussed that we each have not been doing the right thing by our kids by not insisting that we all worship together. It has been convenient to leave the little ones at home with Dad, and vice versa for him.
 
sixofseven said:
I agree, but I’m conflicted with my role as wife (submitting) and mother (teaching), and him being the head of the family.
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You’ve got the wrong idea about the head of the household, particularly a non Catholic head of household.

Never has there been a more misunderstood verse than that one. The submission is reciprocal and mutual not subordination. The husband loves the wife as Christ loveS the Church.

You cannot agree to allow your children to be endangered in their faith. If you are not familiar with Baptists, do not fool yourself. They are VERY aggressive in proselytizing, and AWANAS is anti-Catholic.

You husband needs to tell them no. This can’t be about image. Or him taking orders from the Baptist preacher. The fact that they even told him this tells me this is a particularly fundamentalist group and you seriously do NOT want your kids mixed up with them, or your husband either actually.

You need to gird your loins, because the trouble has just begun. I’m afraid you are in for a really rough ride. I’m not saying this to scare you, but I think you are underestimating this situation, and I have to stress that this is very serious.
 
Thank you, I do see the seriousness which is why I am reaching out here for some guidance and encouragement.
I understand the roles are reciprocal, and I don’t see myself as subordinate but Rather I want to continue to honour my husband and not abandon him spiritually.
 
If you don’t want to abondon him spiritually, there is only 1 course of action. Pray for him
 
sixofseven said:
I could attend,
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You could attend but it would be bad for the children. At best they’ll be confused. At worst they’ll be subjected to aggressive attempts to wean them away from the True Church. Please stand your ground. Do not lose patience with your husband but do not surrender to the demands of the Baptists.
 
sixofseven said:
Thank you. We are in a small town and there is no other option for him, he wants to belong somewhere and contribute which I can empathise with. I have suggested that he makes sure he knows what the Baptist church teaches and whether it holds to his understanding and belief. I know that he does not agree with their teaching on baptism of immersion only, and he does not believe in OSAS.
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If you were hoping to avoid a full discussion on the beliefs of the Baptist Church, you are out of luck. You need to know exactly what they teach, and need to study apologetics so that you can defend the Church. The head of the household needs more knowledge. I would set up an appointment with the priest, possibly asking him to come to your house for dinner. Ask a young person to help take care of the kids that day so after dinner there is time to talk.
 
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