Hot Mess of a Wedding

[Usige]

In this case it’s not “what”, it’s “who”. The officiating Lutheran pastor.

No, it is God that defines marriage. Just because many are willing to simulate marriage does not make it so. The bride and groom also have no understanding of marriage if they simply shopped around until they found someone to perform the farce ceremony. They obviously know that the Church would not witness it and why, but still put their will above that of God. Seems like that whole hardness of heart thing Christ talked about. Just sad to be honest.

 

[BartholomewB]

No, it is God that defines marriage. Just because many are willing to simulate marriage does not make it so. The bride and groom also have no understanding of marriage if they simply shopped around until they found someone to perform the farce ceremony. They obviously know that the Church would not witness it and why, but still put their will above that of God. Seems like that whole hardness of heart thing Christ talked about. Just sad to be honest.

The OP has to make up her mind whether or not to go to her friends’ wedding. “Hardness of heart” would advise her not to, I think.

 

[1990Domer]

I was under the impression that we as Catholics weren’t permitted to attend as it would give the impression that by our attendance, we approved of the illicit union. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

You are describing scandal, and you are correct.

 

[1990Domer]

I would urge you not to do this.

If you are feeling the inclination to make negative comments, give religious instruction, point out errors and give corrections then I would abstain from attending the ceremony altogether. I believe it is in poor taste to attend a wedding ceremony and then to critique it to others, even if you are in the right. If you are surprised by events that is one thing, however you know well in advance what is going to happen and you are PLANNING on “setting the record strait” at someone else’s wedding. Either attend and say nothing or stay home, just my two cents.

So sorry for this couple, prayers for them. Prayers for you too, I know it is your love for Jesus in the Eucharist that is your motivator however someone’s wedding day is not the appropriate time for this just my opinion. God bless.

Monicad is spot on as usual. And in her gentle, loving tone.

 

[GomezU]

Thanks Monicad. You make good sense.

 

[Allegra]

I would urge you not to do this.

If you are feeling the inclination to make negative comments, give religious instruction, point out errors and give corrections then I would abstain from attending the ceremony altogether. I believe it is in poor taste to attend a wedding ceremony and then to critique it to others, even if you are in the right. If you are surprised by events that is one thing, however you know well in advance what is going to happen and you are PLANNING on “setting the record strait” at someone else’s wedding. Either attend and say nothing or stay home, just my two cents.

So sorry for this couple, prayers for them. Prayers for you too, I know it is your love for Jesus in the Eucharist that is your motivator however someone’s wedding day is not the appropriate time for this just my opinion. God bless.

I agree. Regardless of religion, it is indecent to accepts someone’s hospitality and then criticize it. I would simply decline the invitation politely.

 

[Anglewannabe]

As for saying anything, why do you have to say anything to any of the family?

If the OP chooses to not go, she will have to tell them and they may ask why. Also, we have a moral responsibility to bring help our brothers and sisters in Christ get to Heaven. This is definitely a time where the OP needs to discern if she should politely correct some people

Honestly, this is the same situation my husband and I had, only though I’m the Protestant and he is RC. He is divorced (no annulment). My We got married in my church. His ex-wife died several years ago (after they were divorced). Now we are looking to get married in the CC.

Regardless of what you and your husband did, the situation the OP describes is sinful and she should not participate in sin.

Honestly, as long as the family and the bride and groom are happy, I would MYOB.

As much as I agree with minding one’s own business, the OP was invited to the wedding which puts her in a position where it is no longer so simple as to MYOB. Also happiness is a feeling dependent on outside circumstances, one of Satan’s biggest tricks to deceive people. Happiness is not the same as everlasting joy that comes from God.

I think that one can be supportive of someone without condoning/agreeing with what they are doing, especially when two people are getting married.

WRONG ! supporting someone to sin is NEVER OK. And especially when 2 people are getting ‘married’. It is of grave matter to commit adultery and one should try to steer them clear of that

 

[DeniseNY]

I would urge you not to do this.

If you are feeling the inclination to make negative comments, give religious instruction, point out errors and give corrections then I would abstain from attending the ceremony altogether. I believe it is in poor taste to attend a wedding ceremony and then to critique it to others, even if you are in the right. If you are surprised by events that is one thing, however you know well in advance what is going to happen and you are PLANNING on “setting the record strait” at someone else’s wedding. Either attend and say nothing or stay home, just my two cents.

So sorry for this couple, prayers for them. Prayers for you too, I know it is your love for Jesus in the Eucharist that is your motivator however someone’s wedding day is not the appropriate time for this just my opinion. God bless.

I agree

 

[EasterJoy]

My view exactly. It’s a wedding. If the couple were both Lutherans, would you refuse their invitation? Would you refuse to attend a wedding in a synagogue? Or a civil marriage officiated by a judge or a county clerk?

Will the couple be offended if you opt out of Holy Communion, quietly and without making a fuss about it? I don’t think so.

This is a bit different. The Catholic party approached a priest and knows quite well why the marriage will be invalid.

Having said that, if the Catholic is determined to go through with this there is a “don’t toss your pearls before swine” aspect to this. As disappointing as it is that a Lutheran pastor is encouraging Holy Communion at an interfaith wedding ceremony that includes so many Catholics, there is zero chance that the ceremony is going to be called off because some relative or friend gives a correction on this situation. The couple has had the situation explained to them by someone with the authority to do it. Therefore, I’d refrain from giving any unsolicited opinions.

A typical wedding has about 20-30% of the guests offering regrets to the invitation. Since an admonishment is not likely to have any effect except to stir up strife, I’d just RSVP with regrets without comment concerning my reasons.

 

[EasterJoy]

I would say go and not receive Communion. As for saying anything, why do you have to say anything to any of the family? This is obviously a happy time for them. They can’t get married in the CC.

Honestly, this is the same situation my husband and I had, only though I’m the Protestant and he is RC. He is divorced (no annulment). My We got married in my church. His ex-wife died several years ago (after they were divorced). Now we are looking to get married in the CC.

Honestly, as long as the family and the bride and groom are happy, I would MYOB. I remember my MIL asking when we were engaqed if we were getting married in the CC. I told her “No, because he is divorced.”

I think that one can be supportive of someone without condoning/agreeing with what they are doing, especially when two people are getting married.

I would say that as long as the family and the couple are unlikely to change their minds, I would MYOB. If they were happy as pigs in slop but likely to repent if their error were pointed out, it would be a duty and a mercy to point out the error rather than leave them in it.