hot temper

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water

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I have to admit that I have had very hot temper since I was kid. The only thing I know I am getting better is that I am quickly to admit my wrong actions and trying not to let it happen – but fail many times.

From what I understand, this hot temper comes from my impatience, pride, and lack of listening/understanding and I am trying to work on this.

If you have/had this problem and don’t mind to share with me on how you get helped, please share. I really need it.

Thanks and God bless.
 
If I may ask, is the problem more with being too quick to argue, or does it have a physical aspect? (too quick to fight)

Peace
James
 
Dear water,

Impatience used to be my battle during the past.
Praise the Lord, by God’s grace, it has been overcome.

I remember years ago there was one time I was standing in the confession line, waiting. I made a comment, “I wish the line could move faster.”
The lady behind me said, “Why do I get a feeling that’s something to do with what you have to confess?”
Bang, I have never forgotten that.

The way of overcoming this is first to realize impatience is to do with self-centeredness.
If I feel impatient, the underlined message is
“My need and my desire have to be fulfilled right away.”
So impatience also shows lack of humility.

Once I had this realization, I was determined to work on it. This determination came along with my sincere desire of working toward holiness. And the desire of being holy comes from deep prayer life and a true desire of pleasing the Lord.

I find what helps the most is my daily holy hour in front of the tabernacle.
The power of the real presence is undeniable.
I was transformed by the real presence of our Lord.
I believe if anyone who does the Eucharist Adoration one hour each day, seven days a week, one can run fast on the road toward holiness.
St. John of the Cross said if one is determined to become holy, one can certainly make speedy progress. He is right.

I will say the combination of the following will help battle any shortcoming we try to combat:
  • Daily Eucharist Adoration
  • Daily Mass whenever possible
  • Frequent confession
  • Spiritual direction
  • Practice the presence of the God
God bless! With God’s help, you can do it.
 
JRKH, I am too quick to argue/correct others.
InLight247, your advices are very great. I am determined to change because I have just realized how bad I could get. I will try all the advices that you have given me because I believe it works. Going to daily mass and confession has helped me on other areas greatly. I will also seek counseling as well. I’ll ask if my church offer any counseling for my problem.

Thanks and God bless.
 
water said:
I’ll ask if my church offer any counseling for my problem.
Click to expand...
Spiritual direction and counseling are different.

I’ll recommand spiritual direction instead of counseling.
Personally, I think it works more effectively to have the same person as spiritual director and confessor. I am very blessed to have a holy priest as my spiritual director and confessor. I give my confession at the end of our session each time. It always brings abundant grace to my life.
 
water said:
JRKH, I am too quick to argue/correct others.
InLight247, your advices are very great. I am determined to change because I have just realized how bad I could get. I will try all the advices that you have given me because I believe it works. Going to daily mass and confession has helped me on other areas greatly. I will also seek counseling as well. I’ll ask if my church offer any counseling for my problem.

Thanks and God bless.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I’m glad it isn’t a physical issue.

I agree with what InLight247 had to say as well.

Something else that can help is cultivating the ability to recognize your emotions.
As some examples:
Sit apart in the cafeteria during lunch and just listen to other people talking. (you can take a book and pretend to read.) It’s amazing how rediculous some people sound - then suddenly we realize that is how we must sound to others when we over-react.

Read the newspaper and note how you feel about what you read. Do you become angry? Do you actually talk back to the paper?
You can do the same thing with television. Note how you act in this situation.

How about driving? How do you respond to other drivers?
Listening to the Radio? Do you argue with the hosts?

These are all areas (plus many more) where you can work on sensing your emotional state and work on controlling your reaction. Do these things prayerfully and you will gain wonderful insights into, not only yourself, but others.

I have used these things myself to great advantage. I have far less problem with becoming “all tied up” with things I can do nothing about. It also has helped me keep from judging people to quickly or harshly. (It definately reduces the need to apolgize.:rolleyes: )

Ask God to give you His eyes during these “exercises” so that you may see yourself truthfully and understand why you tend to “fly off the handle.”

One more bit of advise is to practice silence. Not simply “not talking” but trying to speak “economically”. Make your point with as few words as possible. This action forces you to think a bit before speaking and that split second can make a huge difference.

Peace
James
 
Thank you, James. I practice to stop talking when I am upset. It just helped me awhile ago and I thank God for that.
 
Hi Water,

I struggle with this at times as well. What works for me (sometimes) is if I take a deep breath and count to 10 (in my mind) before I react. If I make it to 10, I have usually calmed down.

On a spiritual note: Prayer, Confession & Eucharistic Adoration is the best defense against these attacks.
 
I find what helps the most is my daily holy hour in front of the tabernacle.
The power of the real presence is undeniable.
I was transformed by the real presence of our Lord.
I believe if anyone who does the Eucharist Adoration one hour each day, seven days a week, one can run fast on the road toward holiness.
St. John of the Cross said if one is determined to become holy, one can certainly make speedy progress. He is right.*

What do you “do” in front of the tabernacle for an hour? My wind would wander greatly!!
 
Centering Prayer,(please no debate) helped me out of this.

Let me know if you need more info.

God Bless
Jim
 
HeWillProvide said:
I find what helps the most is my daily holy hour in front of the tabernacle.
The power of the real presence is undeniable.
I was transformed by the real presence of our Lord.
I believe if anyone who does the Eucharist Adoration one hour each day, seven days a week, one can run fast on the road toward holiness.
St. John of the Cross said if one is determined to become holy, one can certainly make speedy progress. He is right.
Click to expand...
I pray during the adoration, pouring out my heart and listen.
Sometimes I just fix my gaze on the crucifix or the tabernacle.
You don’t have to “do” anything, you can just “be” with the Lord.
Click to expand...
 
InLight247 said:
Spiritual direction and counseling are different. I’ll recommand spiritual direction instead of counseling.
Personally, I think it works more effectively to have the same person as spiritual director and confessor. I am very blessed to have a holy priest as my spiritual director and confessor. I give my confession at the end of our session each time. It always brings abundant grace to my life.
Click to expand...
Amen! This is a spiritual problem which requires direction. Counseling tends to address psychological issues to the exclusion of the spiritual. Sin is a matter of the spirit. Address the spiritual warfare that is occurring and you address the sin. The evil one knows water’s button - that which will set the anger off. So the evil one, abounding in energy to lead the faithful astray, sends temptation after temptation to anger. If you battle him spiritually and remain calm, you cheat the evil one of his satisfaction, and his goal.

Christ’s peace.
 
I struggle with this too.

Francis de Sales suggests to pray “Have mercy on me, O Lord” when I feel a rage welling up in me…he says lots of other things too! I liked what he said about looking for a way to live without any anger at all.

Keep up the good fight.
 
Thank you so much to all of you who gave me great advices and praying. Last weekend, I went on the CRHP treat for today and it helps me so much.

I’ve realized that once I admit my problem and seek for help, God brings all sort of amazing help to me. With God’s help, I determine to change.

Thank you so much again. Every single word of your replies means so much to me.

God bless!
 
I would simply pray for the fruits of the Spirit (CCC #1832). 🙂

Couple that with:
**Luke 11:13 **If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"😃
 
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