Household Management - thoughts please?

[TheRealJuliane]

My kids are doing their laundry by age 6, and it has to get done on a certain day. If you hve six kids, you probably have several older than 6 years. They can do laundry, keep their bedrooms clean (even my 4 year old can clean his room), put away dishes, vacuum, wipe down the bathrooms, put away groceries, dust, etc.

My house is always clean, because my husband and I are on the “neat freak” end of the spectrum. My number ONE tip for keeping the home in shape is to eliminate superfluous items from the premises. Kids don’t need loads of toys or clothes. You don’t need sheets for ten beds if you only have five. You don’t need towels and dishes for an army if you’ve just got a family. No need for 1/2 used bottles of shampoo and lotion under the sink. No need to save past issues of magazines, or store Christmas or birthday cards. Kitchen items and utensils? If you don’t use something regularly - out it goes. Do not keep an “extra” of anything that is not a life-or-death item. Expired medicine, the old humidifier that only sort of works, the iron your mom sent you to college with that has been replaced, the hot rollers you haven’t used since you cut your hair - out. Discard, discard, discard. By not keeping unnecessary items in the home (even in “strorage”) you will free up space for the things you do need, and they won’t be pushed into inappropriate areas. You will have more peace in your clutter-less life, and the house will be infinitely easier to maintain if you’re not working around too much stuff!

And that is, of course, the challenge for many of us. I will admit to being too sentimental and also to keeping things that I might have a use for (but probably won’t). I know people who are TOTALLY unsentimental and I admire them, at least for the ability to throw things out (but then, they do sometimes throw out things that cannot be replaced, like old family photos and mementos… ).

The urge to purge used to hit me a lot more often than it currently does…I would roll with it when it came…Now it doesn’t seem to come very often, or maybe I don’t notice it when it does…I have 4 people’s worth of stuff to care for/worry about/repair/replace, and it gets complicated…I know we all have too much STUFF!

 

[Allegra]

I’m no expert at keeping up with things with six kids in the house, but I’m pretty sure the first step is to not waste time arguing about whether or not to wear shoes.

Seriously, my ma was the proverbial super mom. She worked full-time, had a reasonably clean house, held tea parties for the lady friends, sent cupcakes to school, make school play costumes, earned extra money selling House of Lloyd and making stepping stones out of mozaic glass…the whole works. She had really high expectations for children’s ability to do their own chores. She challenged all conventional notions regarding the minimal age for using the dish washer, the lawnmower, the washing machine, and dryer. We were expected to do the dishes and keep the living spaces clean every day. Saturday morning we were made to do the dusting, wiping down, and the floors. She was alot more lax in our bedrooms, but she would sometimes demand a complete overhaul of those as well. Even with us all doing the cleaning, she always claimed she could do it much faster herself, but it was her responsibility as a good mother to teach us how to take care of a household so we don’t turn into completely useless goons when we grew up.

 

[MariaG]

I’m no expert at keeping up with things with six kids in the house, but I’m pretty sure the first step is to not waste time arguing about whether or not to wear shoes.

Obviously you have never tried to keep up with things when it just hurts sitting doing nothing.

To wear shoes or not, and what kind effects everything we do including how tired you are and whether or not you can get up and fold the laundry without crying because you are in so much pain.

As well as the attitude some people can feel whether or not they wear shoes. (no shoes, lazy day off feeling is not conductive to time management.)

 

[CradleJourney]

But do you understand her reason for demanding that you put on shoes?

It is not only to protect your feet inside the house. It is to break through the sloppy “I’m at home and it doesn’t matter,” mindset, and give you more purpose and focus. It is also to help keep your feet in good shape - wearing shoes is just better for them!

You just need to get a good pair of really comfy shoes and keep them ONLY for the house.

Getting dressed every day is part of taking care of yourself. It does work, when you take it slowly and trust her system. She’s been through every excuse in the book. She’s been there and done that.

With all respect, I’ll agree to disagree on the shoes. I truly believe barefoot is better based on my experiences and reading. But that’s off topic

And, I do agree with the taking care of myself part. Once the littles were weaned, I started putting a definate emphasis on self care. The basics I have - “official” housework uniform (no stains allowed), etc. I can tell a big difference in how the day goes when I have my official clothes clean and ready to go versus days when I’m borrowing hubby’s shirt and still stuck in pj pants at noon. So I won’t disagree there.

The problem is balancing the time so the laundry gets done in a regular timely manner so that I have those clothes ready to go. (It’s the implementation, not the premise that I have trouble with).

 

[CradleJourney]

It is hard catching up when there is a huge backlog.
When things have gotten on top of my daughter she chooses an amount of time to spend on each of the tasks that are backlogged, sets a timer for each section and moves on when it rings - eventually it does all get done. She uses small chunks of time (10 to 15 minutes) because then she feels that she is getting more done. A bit of a mind game, but it does work.

So place a time boundary for each thing so that everything gets something done, though not completed. Hmmm…will have to see if I can get my brain to co-operate but I could see this as at least keeping me moving. (Oh, and I fully know it’s all mind games If I was an auto-robot, I could just get up, plug through everything, then be done.)

As far as children and chores, when mine were little I had charts with pictures instead of words. Laminate the charts and use erasable markers so that they can mark off the chores they have done and you can use the same chart each day.

Alas, I’m dealing with the effects of kids who’ve had chores all their lives, but for a space of a couple years, they were not consistently enforced, due to life events. (The past year saw my 2nd oldest leave for college, my elderly father being diagnosed with cancer then passing away, and the need for me to spend quite a bit of time helping my mother who’s losing her sight.)

So now I have 8 to 15 year olds who have the chores but need strict supervision (at this point) to get them back in the habit. In a few months, I’m sure it will be easier - assuming I’m able to consistently enforce the responsibilities and consequences. (Yeah, mind games sigh I admit I’m fully susceptible to guilt for “abandoning” them so much for those months.)

I had a small rectangular basket for each person’s clean laundry and would sort straight into those baskets. If there wasn’t time to put it away the baskets still looked neater than a huge pile of washing and you could then just in a few spare minutes put one person’s washing away.

Awesome idea! I do already have separate baskets for everyone - but I always fold everything and sort into their baskets…maybe it’s time to just sort it and let them fold it? After all, as I just pointed out, they aren’t babies anymore. (Yeah, I need to “talk things out loud” sometimes for the obvious to hit me. And I do spend ridiculous amounts of time folding clothes since I’m a bit OCD about the outcome. Giving up this could free up some much needed time. Thanks for the inspiration

 

[CradleJourney]

My kids are doing their laundry by age 6, and it has to get done on a certain day. If you hve six kids, you probably have several older than 6 years. They can do laundry, keep their bedrooms clean (even my 4 year old can clean his room), put away dishes, vacuum, wipe down the bathrooms, put away groceries, dust, etc.

My house is always clean, because my husband and I are on the “neat freak” end of the spectrum. My number ONE tip for keeping the home in shape is to eliminate superfluous items from the premises.

You will have more peace in your clutter-less life, and the house will be infinitely easier to maintain if you’re not working around too much stuff!

Oh I agree! I wouldn’t have agreed 5 years ago, but I’m fully on the bandwagon now. My favorite book is Throw Out 50 Things (available on amazon).

My best estimate is that my home is stuffed with about 2x as many Things as it should hold. (Using Cindy Glovinsky 's One Thing at a Time non-standard capitalization - she’s another favorite of mine).

If you could lock me in a room, seal the door and free me from all commitments and guilt, I could happily toss 40% of it’s contents - up to 60% with some reflection, prayer and guidance. I’ve tried it though I only usually get about 20min on an average day, maybe 1 hour on a good day. Result is that it seems the amount I get rid of barely stays ahead of the amount coming in the door - and it will be at least several years before I get caught up. (Thinking like this is why I struggle to keep fighting rather than give in, grab a DVD, and open a bag of cookies.)

If I do focus solely on clean out, I make some progress, but then after a couple days, I run into the backlog of things that really need to stay current - like laundry, dishes, etc.

At least with good weather arriving, I can toss the kids outside more so they have less time to create more chaos on the inside

As far as their bedrooms go, this falls under what I posted in another reply. Due to life circumstances, while being great kids who do awesome at school, church, and extra-curricular activities, they were allowed to develop many sloppy habits here at home.

One thing we are working on is cleaning out one bedroom (was the college student’s - she moved to a dorm last fall) and switching the kids around so that the teenager and the youngest will have their own rooms - which, once that’s done, they will have sole responsibility for maintaining those rooms. My point is that I cannot require them to clean up their room until I help them go through it and purge it to the point where it can be cleaned up. Just another part of the backlog

 

[ManyBlessings6]

Here is what has helped me:
A timer, music and everyone works in 10-15 minutes spurts of pick-up.

Start a load of laundry before breakfast, change a load just before lunch, another one just
before dinner.

Clean counters, mirrors, sweep while on phone. It is amazing how much I can accomplish
while chatting with friends instead of sitting and talking.

Kids make beds before breakfast. Pick up rooms before bed and then storytime and prayers

Eliminate unnecessary clothes-really kids do not need that many

Kids take turns helping sweep after meals, taking trash out and cleaning their bathroom.

Movie night and matching socks together

Paper plates and cups can be lifesavers

Keep a all purpose cleaner ( I use vinegar and water) in each bathroom saves time

I keep a broom, dustpan and vacuum on each floor this also saves time.

Declutter as you go.

 

[ManyBlessings6]

Also I focus on the main rooms first since these are the areas company sees first, then move on to the others.

During this time of getting things back in order make meal times simple. Use your crockpot and make double batches to save time.

It will get better just takes time.

 

[Kelfa28]

Jackie Mom hit the nail on the head.

You need to start by getting rid of stuff you don’t need. Start using Ebay on a small scale. You’ll have an easier time cleaning and you’ll have some extra pocket cash.

My husband and I have a much less cluttered life because we paired down everything as much as we could.

Then you naturally have less things to deal with.

My house is certainly not perfect. But its not that bad. It’s fairly clean. It’s partly due to less stuff we own but there are small things I always do. I clean up clutter in the living room, wipe down surfaces quickly (I heart clorax wipes), make our bed, and keep up with laundry every other day and do the dishes every other day.

I make it a habit to not let things sit around. If the dishwasher is done…I empty it as quickly as I can. Laundry gets done, folded and put away (my one year old daughter likes to “help” folding her cloth diapers. We turn it into a family activity).

 

[TheRealJuliane]

How do you all keep up with PAPER?? There is so much paper clutter here that it threatens to bury me! I try to sort and file but it’s like a MONSTER that is going to devour me! I’ve thought about getting one of those NeatDesk scanners and putting it on a USB or something…I hate filing! I hate feeling like I have to keep all of this paper! And more comes in the mailbox every darn day!!!



We don’t even take any newspapers or magazines - stopped that long ago.

 

[mommamaree]

Obviously you have never tried to keep up with things when it just hurts sitting doing nothing.

To wear shoes or not, and what kind effects everything we do including how tired you are and whether or not you can get up and fold the laundry without crying because you are in so much pain.

As well as the attitude some people can feel whether or not they wear shoes. (no shoes, lazy day off feeling is not conductive to time management.)

When I am pregnant, I MUST wear supportive athletic shoes at all times, ESPECIALLY around the house. The added body mass is just too much for my poor feet. Plus, wearing good shoes encourages my already very strong nesting instinct, and I get loads of work done.
But, at other times, it is an internal battle to lace up those sneakers. When I can force myself to put on the sneakers, I become more productive.

 

[mommamaree]

CradleJourney,
My oldest kids are 8 and 5, and they are responsible for folding and putting away their laundry. We labeled each drawer and shelf, so they can neatly put everything in its proper place, and find what they need to put outfits together. So I just sort clean clothes into their labeled baskets, and they do the rest. Once in a while, I check their closets and dressers for tidiness. It was such a load off of me when I delegated that job.

 

[AnneTeresa]

Deal with paper every single day. It either goes e s directly in the trash or recycle box, in the Bills tray (to be paid once a month), or in a basket on the counter for things I need to save, like statements. I go through the basket every few weeks and file things appropriately. Much of it is financial, and I three hole punch these and put them in a binder, throwing out and shredding the old statements. For my husbands mail, I put baskets in the kitchen and ask him through them when they get full. Sometimes I have to "help"him do this. Coupons and tickets go on a bulletin board near the kitchen so they dont get lost.

 

[ManyBlessings6]

Paper was a huge battle for me to overcome and it is still a work in progress.
What I have done so far to improve in this area is:

Go through mail each and everyday.  Immediately toss junk mail

I almost always glance through catalogs & then toss immediately, otherwise they take over

I keep all bills, bank statements and such in a big 3 Ring Binder

I put coupons, rebates in another binder.

Children's artwork is displayed for about a week, the best pieces are placed in a binder
the others "disappear" so there is room for another masterpiece.

We clean our desk tops once a week.

Once you get into the habit of tossing non essentials immediately the tasks gets so much easier.

 

[mandajane]

Oh Yes! I’m not the only flybaby here! That was the hardest thing for me when I got out on my own, I was so used to having a mom who cleaned everything for me without a whimper, I had NO IDEA what to do or how to do it! I learned quickly, and flylady helped me keep it all manageable.

As far as shoes, I prefer being barefoot too, and yes, recent studies have shown that it is better to be barefoot. However, I know my feet look and feel so much better when I wear shoes. So I went middle of the road and got myself a nice pair of shoes from Nike, they have this new shoe that’s essentially a split soled dance shoe, and little more than a foot sock. But it laces and still lets me use my toes for traction. You might be interested in that.

 

[Morwenna]

As far as shoes, I prefer being barefoot too, and yes, recent studies have shown that it is better to be barefoot. However, I know my feet look and feel so much better when I wear shoes. So I went middle of the road and got myself a nice pair of shoes from Nike, they have this new shoe that’s essentially a split soled dance shoe, and little more than a foot sock. But it laces and still lets me use my toes for traction. You might be interested in that.

Hi Manda, I didn’t have any luck finding these on the Nike site … would you happen to remember the exact name? Thanks

 

[Allegra]

Obviously you have never tried to keep up with things when it just hurts sitting doing nothing.

To wear shoes or not, and what kind effects everything we do including how tired you are and whether or not you can get up and fold the laundry without crying because you are in so much pain.

As well as the attitude some people can feel whether or not they wear shoes. (no shoes, lazy day off feeling is not conductive to time management.)

Shoes do not seem to effect my ability to clean my home in any way. I keep my home quite organized and reasonably clean and spend a minimal amount of time on it as I work full-time and would prefer to spend the rest of the day and weekends with my husband and family.

I actually get most of my major weekly cleaning tasks done on Saturday morning before I’ve even had my shower. The shower is the last thing, because I clean the stall out as soon as I’m done. So I’m generally still in my pajamas, much less wearing shoes. I can get the kitchen scrubbed down, a few loads of laundery, the dusting, the vacumn, the surfaces in the bedroom and the bed made, the toilet, sink, mirror, and shower all done in time to go for a picnic lunch or whatever other activity we have in mind for the afternoon.

I don’t have any orthopedic situations to consider and I have a house that’s well within my level of managability, so yeah, I think it’s silly to waste time pondering, “to shoe, or not to shoe”.

Here’s my house keeping philosophy. Life is too short to spend all day on this. Just get er done. Get a mental map and plan going so you don’t waste time getting things out and putting them away again. Work smart so you don’t have to do things over. Keep things reasonable throughout the week so it doesn’t get too out of hand. Devote an appropriate amount of time to getting the job done and then do it until it’s done.

Often my husband can’t even finish one task in the time it takes me to do several and it’s because he wastes so much time. He takes breaks and gets distracted by something else. He spends forever “preparing” to do the task. (ie. finding the appropriate floor cleaning CD, adjusting the lighting, choosing the ideal tools, etc.) I’m always telling him, “Just clean the flippin floor already! You don’t need music. You don’t need a snack and a beverage on hand. You don’t need to go to Lowes to get a better bucket! That bucket is fine! I promise, if someone texts you, it can wait until you’re done. Why are you alphabatizing the bookshelf? Why are you cleaning the ceiling fan? What does that have to do with the floor? Just clean the floor!”

 

[mandajane]

Hi Manda, I didn’t have any luck finding these on the Nike site … would you happen to remember the exact name? Thanks

store.nike.com/us/en_us/?l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-653065/pgid-653067

Those are the shoes I got. Even the same color. If you look at the pics, you’ll see the grooves on the sole are super deep. On mine, at it’s thickest point (The heel) the sole is about 3/4" thick, at the toe it’s about 5 or 6 mm. I also like the fact that it’s more of a suede sock than a shoe, I can lace it super tight and it is very flexible. It did take a little getting used to, because they have more weight than my old dance shoes, but more flexibility than my regular tennis shoes.

 

[CradleJourney]

First, pray, and the Lord always helps you when you are most desperate.

Fifth, my pediatrician father-in-law taught me this. Catch them being good, and then praising that is much more successful than punishing for bad. Kids love the praise and will want to be good. It also ties into seeing Jesus in them. He also said that if you do lose your cool every once in a while (for me, that was yelling at the kids----would never, ever strike them—it’s stupid and useless), stop, apologize to the kids and you will see how much they respect you for that. (“Guys, I am sorry I yelled. I go upset and I shouldn’t have done that. It’s better just to talk things out. Do you forgive me?”) And they would----and it opened the door for them to apologize for their behavior too.

Sixth, pray together (we weren’t as regular as I had hoped, but it was still there) and make Sunday Mass a non-negotiable (this is sometimes tough with sport and their friends who do not go). Again, I wasn’t as consistent as I had hoped, but they got the point. Most of all, have them see you (Mom or Dad) praying or talking about prayer life.

Hang in there----Hope this was helpful.

Thank you very much! I definately need that reminder to catch them being good - I do it all the time for school work, and their scout/sport work, but haven’t been doing it at all for housework! How could I forget that? :::shaking my head at myself:::: Going to make myself a note to really work on that. I appreciate the reminder about prayer as well

 

[CradleJourney]

It will get better just takes time.

Thank you. That’s what I was telling myself earlier today…things didn’t get this way in a few weeks and they aren’t going to get fixed in a few weeks either.

But I’m so tired of this mess and I know it causes distress for my family as well so I’d really like a magic wand to just poof it all back to the way it was.

It’s great to be able to be on here though and get some support. I’m feeling much better and have high hopes for tomorrow.