Household Management - thoughts please?

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AnneTeresa said:
Deal with paper every single day. It either goes e s directly in the trash or recycle box, in the Bills tray (to be paid once a month), or in a basket on the counter for things I need to save, like statements. I go through the basket every few weeks and file things appropriately. Much of it is financial, and I three hole punch these and put them in a binder, throwing out and shredding the old statements. For my husbands mail, I put baskets in the kitchen and ask him through them when they get full. Sometimes I have to "help"him do this. Coupons and tickets go on a bulletin board near the kitchen so they dont get lost.
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Sounds like you have a good handle on dealing with paper. I’m curious…what would you do if you suddenly discovered a huge backlog of paper? What would be your method for handling it? Keep up with the new and add in some old every day till caught up? Have two sessions - one for new, one for old each day? Alternate days - do one day all old, one day all new (2 days worth)? Just trying to get ideas. It’s so frustrating because once upon a time I had a great system (somewhat different from yours but not much) but then I got behind and am now literally piles and piles behind, and it’s hard for me to even deal with the new because so often I need info that’s buried to deal with it properly. (Maybe I should redefine proper?)
 
mandajane said:
store.nike.com/us/en_us/?l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-653065/pgid-653067

Those are the shoes I got. Even the same color. If you look at the pics, you’ll see the grooves on the sole are super deep. On mine, at it’s thickest point (The heel) the sole is about 3/4" thick, at the toe it’s about 5 or 6 mm. I also like the fact that it’s more of a suede sock than a shoe, I can lace it super tight and it is very flexible. It did take a little getting used to, because they have more weight than my old dance shoes, but more flexibility than my regular tennis shoes.
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Thank you! 🙂 I’m going to look into these.
 
I understand the backlog problem. I seem to have two speeds, full throttle and broke down. Nothing in between. Contemplating possibility of being bi-polar. I LOVE the me at full throttle. I get it all done. I purge. I deep clean. I craft. i have wonderful projects with the kids. But alas, it never lasts as long as the opposite. So over the past few years, I have developed a few habits that are followed more often than not. Flylady has been part of the inspiration. I also don’t do the shoes thing. i keep sandals by the door to easily slip on to take the trash out or check the mail. In 15 minutes in the morning, it uninterrupted, I can get out of bed, make the bed, get dressed, start a load of clothes and unload the dishwasher. Routines are the best thing because the more you do it, the more efficient you become and the less chance of getting back logged. I am coming off of a low cycle and have decided to start walking for thirty minutes five days a week as a non-medication means of keeping me more even-keeled. And more motivated to remain consistent. I am expecting my fifth child so I know consistency will give them a better example.
 
Allegra said:
Shoes do not seem to effect my ability to clean my home in any way. I keep my home quite organized and reasonably clean and spend a minimal amount of time on it as I work full-time and would prefer to spend the rest of the day and weekends with my husband and family.

Here’s my house keeping philosophy. Life is too short to spend all day on this. Just get er done. Get a mental map and plan going so you don’t waste time getting things out and putting them away again.

Often my husband can’t even finish one task in the time it takes me to do several and it’s because he wastes so much time… “Just clean the floor!”
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Allegra, your husband falls under what Fly Lady calls a SHE… Sidetracked Home Executives.

Allegra, you are what Fly Lady calls a Born Organized.

Cradle Journey, you too might be like Allegra’s husband and a lot of us. Fly Lady writes us words of encouragement as do other Fly Babies. Fly Babies are those who are trying to turn their homes and lives from CHAOS to FLYING.

Try joining Fly Lady’s e-mail group where you will have a friend in Fly Lady and all the Fly Babies in getting started. She says you are not behind, just jump in where you are. Even at first if all you do is read her words and do only 15 minutes of what Fly Lady teaches, you will see an improvement. Fly Lady began by using the program you use from Pam and Peggy - Sidetracked Home Executives. Fly Lady has taken this a step further, to give us a way to “work together”.

flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/joining-flylady/

From Fly Lady:

Most of our lives we have run around putting out fires just to stay on top of housework, bills, jobs and the responsibilities of parenting. If you are a born organized person these things do not take a toll on you, but if you tend to get sidetracked then you know about putting out fires. A born organized person just gets things done and the people around them do not even know that it has been done.

For the other 80% of us that are not born organized there is hope! We can learn to be organized. Imagine that! Taking the methods that a born organized person does naturally and using them to help us gain control over our homes and lives and in the end give our children the tools to go out into the world on their own. Born organized people can’t even teach us sidetracked people what they do, because they have never had to figure it out; they just do it.

I have watched the people in my life that are born organized and what I have noticed is they tend to do the same thing in the same order every single morning. At first I thought that must be so boring and then I realized that it was brilliant. The brilliance comes from having the mundane things in life taken care of so you can have fun. Isn’t that what all of us really want; to have little fun. We love fun and most of the time we are having fun; except when we are beating ourselves up because the kids are late to school again because you over-slept.
 
CradleJourney said:
Sounds like you have a good handle on dealing with paper. I’m curious…what would you do if you suddenly discovered a huge backlog of paper? …It’s so frustrating ,but then I got behind and am now literally piles and piles behind, and it’s hard for me to even deal with the new because so often I need info that’s buried to deal with it properly.
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Baby Steps to Cage the Paper Clutter Monster by Fly Lady flylady.net/d/br/2012/10/11/babysteps-to-cage-the-paper-clutter-monster/

Two letters for help on Paper Clutter from Fly Babies and the replies from Fly Lady flylady.net/d/br/2012/10/01/i-have-paper-clutter-everywhere-2/

flylady.net/d/br/2013/02/09/paper-clutter-dissected/
 
Thanks everyone for the replies so far - keep the info and ideas coming. Even if they don’t work for me, they may be perfect for someone else reading this. 🙂

I’m currently checking out the various links some of you have kindly posted.

The problem is figuring out how to build time and routines into a life that has gone completely off the rails :confused:

I think that being a creative, flexible, and resourceful person is part of where I got in trouble. I’ve been working around various emergencies and the needs of everyone for so long, that I’ve lost that discipline of making rules and sticking to them (not leaving the bedroom till the bed is made, washing the dishes as I do the cooking, etc.). I’ve also gotten into the habit of immediately dropping everything anytime someone interrupts me with a question or request. (I think I have environmentally created ADD).

Also, I probably need to accept that with a large family, everything IS going to take more time than average - so I need to stop comparing. Example - we don’t have a dishwasher, so it’s going to take a bit longer to wash the dinner dishes for 7 by hand (whether it’s me or the kids doing them) compared to what it would take a family of 4 using a machine.

Again - seriously - thank you to everyone who has and does post. “Talking out loud” about this is really, really helpful to me. I’m not a “just do it” person 🙂 I have to mentally and emotionally get myself to fully grasp something before I can implement it. Your posts get me thinking, gives me different perspectives and keeps me motivated. 👍
 
CradleJourney said:
Thanks everyone for the replies so far - keep the info and ideas coming. Even if they don’t work for me, they may be perfect for someone else reading this. 🙂

I’m currently checking out the various links some of you have kindly posted.

The problem is figuring out how to build time and routines into a life that has gone completely off the rails :confused:

I think that being a creative, flexible, and resourceful person is part of where I got in trouble. I’ve been working around various emergencies and the needs of everyone for so long, that I’ve lost that discipline of making rules and sticking to them (not leaving the bedroom till the bed is made, washing the dishes as I do the cooking, etc.). I’ve also gotten into the habit of immediately dropping everything anytime someone interrupts me with a question or request. (I think I have environmentally created ADD).

Also, I probably need to accept that with a large family, everything IS going to take more time than average - so I need to stop comparing. Example - we don’t have a dishwasher, so it’s going to take a bit longer to wash the dinner dishes for 7 by hand (whether it’s me or the kids doing them) compared to what it would take a family of 4 using a machine.

Again - seriously - thank you to everyone who has and does post. “Talking out loud” about this is really, really helpful to me. I’m not a “just do it” person 🙂 I have to mentally and emotionally get myself to fully grasp something before I can implement it. Your posts get me thinking, gives me different perspectives and keeps me motivated. 👍
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I could have written your post!!! I used to be VERY organized, before I had children!! I used to be able to start a task and work it to completion. Once the kids came along, like you, I got interrupted so often that even when the kids DIDN’T interrupt, or weren’t there, I would interrupt myself and never finish anything!! I’m just a completely different person now than I used to be, and I beat myself up about it a lot! “What is so hard about sorting papers? Why can’t you just FINISH something???”

Add to that fact that I really don’t like to do housework (although I like the result!) and that it is a totally thankless job that the whole family takes for granted, and it’s a recipe for disaster. I don’t even have the excuse of having kids around any more, and still…I do a lot less than I should.

Well, must get off the computer and get busy. I have a goal of at least sticking a bunch of little stacks of papers (not newspapers, but stuff I thought I needed to keep) into a large box and getting it out of the way so I can take one thing at a time out and deal with it. That’s another aspect - that each and every THING in the house entails a DECISION - Keep or discard? If keep, where to PUT IT? How to file it? Who needs it? When do they need it? etc. etc. etc. The decisions are my hang-up.
 
CradleJourney said:
Sounds like you have a good handle on dealing with paper. I’m curious…what would you do if you suddenly discovered a huge backlog of paper? What would be your method for handling it? Keep up with the new and add in some old every day till caught up? Have two sessions - one for new, one for old each day? Alternate days - do one day all old, one day all new (2 days worth)? Just trying to get ideas. It’s so frustrating because once upon a time I had a great system (somewhat different from yours but not much) but then I got behind and am now literally piles and piles behind, and it’s hard for me to even deal with the new because so often I need info that’s buried to deal with it properly. (Maybe I should redefine proper?)
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My suggestion is start doing the above for all new paperwork now. For the backlog, here is what I would do… take thirty minutes and go through the piles. Sort them into… catalogs and junk mail to toss or recycle immediately. That will give you a sense of satisfaction because the piles will shrink. Then other piles for: bills to be paid… personal correspondence… policies and similar to be kept… school papers… financial statements… insurance papers. Etcetera. Label each pile with. a sticky note. Add new items to the right pile as they come in. Later you can properly label a fie folder for each. I put these in a basket and use it like a file cabinet. If you can’t do this in thirty minutes then start with just clearing out junk mail and do another thirty minutes each day till you are done. But don’t keep adding the new stuff. Take care of it everyday.
 
Allegra said:
Often my husband can’t even finish one task in the time it takes me to do several and it’s because he wastes so much time. He takes breaks and gets distracted by something else. He spends forever “preparing” to do the task. (ie. finding the appropriate floor cleaning CD, adjusting the lighting, choosing the ideal tools, etc.) I’m always telling him, “Just clean the flippin floor already! You don’t need music. You don’t need a snack and a beverage on hand. You don’t need to go to Lowes to get a better bucket! That bucket is fine! I promise, if someone texts you, it can wait until you’re done. Why are you alphabatizing the bookshelf? Why are you cleaning the ceiling fan? What does that have to do with the floor? Just clean the floor!”
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😃

Obviously cleaning bores him and he thinks he does need all of that extra stuff like music just to stay interested in it! LOL
 
TheRealJuliane said:
😃

Obviously cleaning bores him and he thinks he does need all of that extra stuff like music just to stay interested in it! LOL
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Well you’d think it was the thrill of his life the way he spreads it out through the day!
 
CradleJourney said:
Also, I probably need to accept that with a large family, everything IS going to take more time than average - so I need to stop comparing. Example - we don’t have a dishwasher, so it’s going to take a bit longer to wash the dinner dishes for 7 by hand (whether it’s me or the kids doing them) compared to what it would take a family of 4 using a machine.

QUOTE]

In my opinion, when you have dishes for seven and no dishwasher, you have a fundamental RIGHT to use paper plates every now and again. I know the shoe brigade is going to call me a heretic for saying so but I say so anyway.
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In my opinion, when you have dishes for seven and no dishwasher, you have a fundamental RIGHT to use paper plates every now and again. I know the shoe brigade is going to call me a heretic for saying so but I say so anyway.
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THIS. Just get those little wicker or plastic paper plate holders, to fancy it up a bit, and accept that life isn’t perfect.

These are what I’m talking about: amazon.com/Farberware-BBQ-Bamboo-Plate-Holders/dp/B005D6G7TO/

We lived off those when I was a kid, my mom worked a full time job and did a lot of volunteer work, so dishes were definitely low on her priority scale. She grabbed paper plate holders and paper plates, snapped them together and served up food. Then she would recycle all those plates and napkins. We did use real silverware, mostly because it was quick and easy to clean. And real cups, though we were ordered to reuse our glasses under pain of death.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I could have written your post!!! I used to be VERY organized, before I had children!! I used to be able to start a task and work it to completion. Once the kids came along, like you, I got interrupted so often that even when the kids DIDN’T interrupt, or weren’t there, I would interrupt myself and never finish anything!! I’m just a completely different person now than I used to be, and I beat myself up about it a lot! “What is so hard about sorting papers? Why can’t you just FINISH something???”

Add to that fact that I really don’t like to do housework (although I like the result!) and that it is a totally thankless job that the whole family takes for granted, and it’s a recipe for disaster. I don’t even have the excuse of having kids around any more, and still…I do a lot less than I should.

Well, must get off the computer and get busy. I have a goal of at least sticking a bunch of little stacks of papers (not newspapers, but stuff I thought I needed to keep) into a large box and getting it out of the way so I can take one thing at a time out and deal with it. That’s another aspect - that each and every THING in the house entails a DECISION - Keep or discard? If keep, where to PUT IT? How to file it? Who needs it? When do they need it? etc. etc. etc. The decisions are my hang-up.
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((Hugs)) to my Sister in Christ, in Parenting, and in the Struggle of Home Management 🙂

I really think very few of us like to do housework because it is never-ending. That’s why I do find my card file to be helpful. Each cleaning task is on a card and the satisfaction I get when I finish it and can move that card back a few days or a week or a month is much more tangible then looking at the the cleaned item which will probably have a backpack tossed on it minutes after I finished.

My personal suggestion on decisions (which I agree can be over-whelming) is to keep a “decision notebook”. Each time you make a decision (aka guideline/rule), list it there. For example.

I made the decision not to keep any coupons until I get caught up on my paper. Therefore, now I don’t have to decide anymore on coupons - they all go straight to recycle without worrying about what they are for, when they expire, guilt that I didn’t use one, or deciding on a good place to keep it where I will remember it. (I figure any money I’d save on the coupons I actually managed to use was made up for by all the time I gain not having to try to deal with them for now.)

With my kids toys, writing it down comes in handy when dealing with random game/puzzle pieces - either I decided it was worth keeping the item (thus the piece goes into a ziploc in the game cabinet to eventually be returned to it’s source) or they never really liked it anyway, then I can toss it with impunity. Then I don’t have to keep deciding everytime I find a marble, domino, playing card, etc. if they are “keep” or “pitch”.

On school papers, I’ve decided not to decide - except they are all going in one file box to be dealt with over the summer - or not at all, or something inbetween. Before I was trying to figure out what I needed to hold onto for memory purposes, what needed going over for learning reinforcement, and what could simple be recycled. Hey, it works for me 🙂
(When I actually sit and sort, of course!)

May God bless us both as we work on this craziness!
 
Since I can’t sleep tonight for fretting, I decided to unclutter my email lists - I just unsubscribed to about 20 email lists I was on! More to go, but it’s a start. I made a list of things I absolutely must do today, and things I need to do tomorrow. I really think my main problems are procrastination, sloth, and trouble making decisions. Oh, and I really like some of the stuff I have and can’t imagine getting rid of it! But I’m going to try and at least get the papers piled into a large box for sorting this summer. Staying off of CAF until at least some of my chores are done will be a big help too.
 
I have been reading this thread with interest. This post is for all the sentimental collectors.

First, I am a very sentimental person. It does make getting rid of some things difficult. On a tv show called Clean Sweep, Peter Walsh (get his books) would counsel people that the thing is not the person. Grandma’s chair is not grandma. You can get rid of Grandma’s chair without getting rid of Grandma. If you are going to keep her chair, then you must honor it. That means reupholstering it to use it, if necessary!

Wow. If I am going to keep my sentimental things, I must give them a place of honor. That means, the kids drawings need to be sorted out and punched for holes and put in binders which can go on a shelf until they are handed off to the respective “child” someday. They are free to do what they want with it.

Shadowboxes are great places for me to display all of my little pieces of memorabilia I have collected over the years. I can theme them for what I have and add other creative touches. Rather than keep my father’s change maker from the 40’s in a drawer somewhere, I can put it in a shadowbox with his photo of him in front of his cab, along with his streetmap book of Brooklyn, his collection of photoed licenses, and his cab medallion. If I do that for all my “things saved,” that will take care of all the odds and ends junking up the drawers and boxes. My daughter is loving this idea, and I know she will be the caretaker of them someday as she loves family history.

Second, for all of you “collectors.” Something to think about. If you were to die tomorrow, what would your family do with all your “stuff?” Would it be a chore or a lovely experience for them to see what you have saved. I for one don’t want to burden my family with having to clean up my things. My mother, God rest her soul, left us an attic of stuff to purge and sort out. She actually said to my sister once when suggested she clean the attic “what do I care, I won’t be the one doing it?”

I don’t want to do that to my family. It is a hard thing to do. I want to save them from having to go through that.

So I try to clean, sometimes in spurts of energy and genius like others have mentioned. But now, with a purpose and intention. 😉
 
The shadowboxes are a GREAT idea!!! I have some bits and pieces from my family, too and that would be a really great way to make some visual reminders of them. Hubby would love this too. We could maybe do a wall or a couple of walls of these.

👍

Decluttering is BRUTAL for me. When life was just ME, it wasn’t so hard. But with 4 people’s lives to take care of and maintain, and being sentimental and associating memories with things (both hubby and I do this) it can be very hard for us to let go. Neither of his parents are sentimental, to the point where his mum purged all the 35 mm slides from his childhood. He still mourns for those. 😦
 
Oh yes to shadow boxes for all those ‘little things’ we keep that remind us of others. I did one after my husband’s death with the badges of the various groups he had belonged to, some were honorary badges given to him in thanks; along with photos of him it is a lovely ‘summary’ of a part of his life.

Another tip as you are tidying - when you take something to a different room (like dishes to the kitchen, for example) on your way back to where you are working, glance around and if there is anything that you can take to the room where you are currently working, take it.

Also, once you have ‘tamed the space’ (which I’m currently busy doing) make it a rule to handle things as little as possible - works well for the dreaded papers as well as other ‘things’.
 
Some great ideas here!

Love FlyLady! I just don’t wear my shoes, no muss no fuss
and I still use her system with great success.

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps!
15 min timer jobs. I am starting my paper sorting that way today.

Some additional lists:
getorganizednow.com/organizing-challenge.html?hm Get organized now

imperfecthomemaking.com/p/thorough-spring-cleaning-checklist.html Spring Cleaning

justmommies.com/ Just Mommies

mysimplerlife.com/blog/ My simpler life

Thanks for this topic!! Great responses!
 
You certainly have a lot on your plate!
First, make sure you have an orderly household routine. Get up at the same time everyday if possible before the children. Have your routine of ordinary everyday chores laid out as easily as possible. Follow this pattern and you will be happier. Make sure the children go to bed at a decent hour.
Finally, get some household help. A teen from church is fine. Have her come once a week and you can do extra chores with her help.
I am married to a military man, now retired, who wanted cleanliness and order. It takes resolve but it is so worth it for everything to run smoothly.
Worked for me!😃
 
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