MichaelLewis:
… Or I might just sit on the fence for the rest of my life. I just need to do my best to put all desires aside when I make judgments about reality.
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*, *Well, when I believed there was a God who loved me, I had a good deal more joy in my life then I do now. I…when I thought we were all going to live forever, and there was really something to hope for in the long run. My life is barely worth living now, frankly. …)
cont…
I didn’t have a near death experience, but I could have very easily been dead as that was my original intent. I can’t even tell you how I failed, as it is still a mystery to me how I survived. MAYBE this is a whole new reality created just for me ?
I needed to prove to myself, that God really does exists and there really is something after this life. It sort of became an obsession, the not knowing was very bothersome. The idea of nothingness can be very disturbing, as you and many others may be experiencing now.
Maybe I was searching for an NDE, or miracle revelation, or some sign that the stuff I had read about was not just a bunch of peoples delusions as some doctors and ministers would have us believe.
What I discovered was that even the thought that one had died and gone to hell was an even more disturbing thought. An eternity of isolation from God, even if not in eternal torment was extremely unsettling. What I got from my experience was the fierce determination that IF there is a God and IF there is an eternity after life, I want to be damn sure I’m on the right side of it.
BUT what was more amazing was that after I returned to my faith, I saw even more evidence of God’s existence is the everyday aspects of my life. They were very subtle, but it just seemed that God was trying to show me, I did not need miraculous things to happen to prove that He was around.
Most were on a very personal level, accomplishements that would mean nothing to anyone else, were fantastic for me. All could be explained away as entirely possible, maybe coinidental, maybe inevitable, and not much out of the ordinary. Maybe I was just looking at things from a different perspective or maybe I was just more relaxed and more confident.
I would love to be 100% sure that everything I believed in was as I think it is. Now, I think I can live with the uncertainty. Before I couldn’t, I’m not sure what made the difference.
All doubt will be removed when I really do cross that threshold to whatever follows, before I was scared to death that maybe nothing was left, and I was scared to death that if there was something I would not be on the right side to enjoy it. Now I know IF there really is anything afterwards, I have no fear of what it may be.
A lot of born-agains claim this certainty, but unless they have died and come back, even they are as much in doubt as the rest of us. They can claim they know it all but I ain’t buying it. ONLY one has died and come back (yes I know there are thousands of NDEs), but one ONE knows all the secrets of the universe.
Everyone is searching for the Truth, and only you can decide for yourself what that Truth is for you. IF life is better for you as a believer, certainly it is far better to live not being depressed. BTW serious depression needs to be professionaly treated, I know, been there - done that.
Unfortunately there are no mathematical formulas or scientific method to prove that God exists. The greatest minds have not even come close to solving that problem and my guess is that they never will.
The one idea that brought my daughter back to believing that there at least must be a God, is the notion that "are we not being a bit too naive and too arrogant in thinking that in this whole huge universe, that we humans, are the highest life form and top level of existence. IF we are the height of creation, creation is in pretty sad shape
(This may be a good argument for extra-terrestials, which I have had real life evidence of - just seen something unexplainable -not been abducted …yet
I like to think of God as being tremendously amused by us all saying that He doesn’t exists. It must be like our little kids when they hide in the open and cover their eyes and say “your don’t see me”. It’s terribly cute, and maybe we just need to look at things a different way.
regards Wes
“Blessed are those who not seen, and yet believe”
I just kind of wish I had been one of those who HAD seen ! It must have been glorious !