How bad of a sin is masturbation?

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That’s what I figured.

Unfortunately it’s not a private conversation though.

I think maybe threads on masturbation should be fast tracked onto a category of their own where all sorts of written resources are at hand or rather available to help with this issue. It’s a difficult one to resolve adequately without also trying to deal with the accompanying pornography issues as well. A very pernicious problem as well.
 
Khanage said:
To be honest, I was kinda scared reading that I was gonna burn in hell. Thanks for the message QwertyGirl!
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Always remember that God, as the Church teaches, is a merciful God. It doesn’t mean we have license to run around doing sinful things to suit ourselves and still expect the benefit of his mercy. But, as a 15 year old if you are concerned about this issue, then that doesn’t describe what you are doing anyway.

Throughout your life, if you hear someone say “you will burn in hell”, know that they are trying to scare you. It isn’t a healthy motivator for developing a strong relationship with God, so you can disregard the advice of someone who says that to you.

Their heart may be in the right place, but it is a misguided attempt because there is no way they know if you wil “burn in hell” for anything.
 
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But in this case I dont think fear helps much with the issue. On this site we see many young people struggling to quite and fear only makes the matter worse because now we throw Hell into it.
 
Khanage said:
To be honest, I was kinda scared reading that I was gonna burn in hell.
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That’s why @Khanage you have brought your problem to the wrong place .

You are young and your situation is not a simple one .

You need to speak with a priest about this rather than ask questions on here . This forum will only make you more confused .

Best wishes as you struggle with a problem loads of boys of your age have .
 
As you are a minor, it is not fitting for adult strangers on the internet to get into details with you.

Okay, ETA. If your parents are not Catholic, can you call your priest on the phone or email him for some direction???

If your family were Catholic I would suggest:

Speak to your Priest, to your Catholic Youth Group Director, your Godparent, your Catholic parent(s).

Your parents will not die if you ask them this, you will not die of embarrassment. They are adults, they understand because they were once 15 years old.

I will pray for you, courage is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit you were given at Baptism and at Confirmation. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you courage to speak to the Catholics in your life who love you.
 
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Khanage said:
How bad of a sin is masturbation?
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This depends to a very great extent on the nature of your fantasies. The more you stray, in your fantasies, from healthy sexual behavior, the worse of a sin it is.
 
Make an act of perfect contrition. Meditate on what yours sins have done to Jesus, how much pain they caused Him on the cross, and resolve never to torture him like that again.
 
(name removed by moderator) said:
I rather scare the poop out of somebody /quote]

This is analogous to the idea that you can “beat the bad” out of a child so that they will not suffer the consequences of their actions as they grow older. In my case and many others, scare tactics and corporal punishment did NOT change the behavior, rather they simply increased my shame, self-loathing and feelings of helplessness and damnation. I do agree that there IS such a thing as Hell and that masturbation IS a grave matter. I do NOT believe that we, or anyone other than (arguably) a priest can say with confidence if someone is going to Hell, this minute or any other. The desire for sexual satisfaction is deeply, deeply entrenched in us not only biologically but also culturally. So much so, in fact, it is commonly considered to be “abnormal” to abstain from sexual pleasure. Sexual images, innuendos and reminders are rampant in our culture…both in obvious ways and in subtle ways. There is simply no way to live in this world without being subjected to them in some form or another.

@Khanage…for what it’s worth, here’s my opinion on this subject:

–it can be very difficult, especially when we are younger, to abstain from masturbation. Despite this, it is exactly what God is asking us to do. Given this, we MUST strive as hard as we can to avoid this sin. Prayers, fasting, receipt of the sacraments as much as possible, maybe watching EWTN if you can, will all help you in this area.
-nonetheless, failure in this area happens for most people from time to time. You will feel bad, you will feel guilty, but do your best to put it into perspective. You have sinned and, while that IS bad, you are eternally loved by the Father. He SEES you, he KNOWS your temptations, habits and influences. He LONGS for you to come to Him in the sacrament of Reconciliation and to have your relationship restored. He knows your father, as well (He created him, after all!) and He knows you are unable to receive the sacraments at this time. This circumstance, I think (you really would have to check with a priest) would mitigate your not receiving absolution. A sincere prayer such as “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner” and a plan for how to avoid the situation in the future may be all you can do at this time. The Lord know this.
-When you are of age/move out of your home, you will be in a position to either go to RICA (the Church’s program for adults who have not been formally catechized), or to begin receiving the sacraments (if you HAVE been catechized). This is when you will need to put your money where your mouth is, so to speak, and begin to attend Mass (at least weekly), follow the teachings of the Church to the best of your ability and to frequent the sacrament of Confession on a regular basis.
-Remember that God is not a bean counter. He is not piling up beans on one side of the scale for all the things you cannot do or access. He will, and does, welcome you with open, loving arms just the way you are whenever you call to Him. So call to Him OFTEN and with CONFIDENCE!!!

Good luck to you!
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Khanage said:
Will I definitely go to Hell if I do it?
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I won’t answer that question, I’ll phrase it differently:

“Will I definitely go to heaven if I masturbate?”

No. Masturbation is a serious sin and anyone who does it has potentially lost his or her salvation. So don’t do it.

Oh if you do do it. Please go to confession. So many Catholics don’t go, but it’s very very important. In fact, it is likely that if you masturbate and then continue to receive communion without confessing first you’re just heaping more and more sin on your plate.

Confession is very important. It can also give you the grace to resist sin. That sounds good, doesn’t it?
 
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So, let me say this first: masturbation is a sin, no question about it. Per the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
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That said, let’s stop making it into the very worst thing imaginable. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t the worst sin once can commit. The Catechism continues:
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
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Furthermore, let’s consider the words of St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae I-II, q 73, aa 5 and 6:
On the contrary, Gregory says (Moral. xxxiii, 11) that carnal sins are of less guilt, but of more shame than spiritual sins.

I answer that, Spiritual sins are of greater guilt than carnal sins: yet this does not mean that each spiritual sin is of greater guilt than each carnal sin; but that, considering the sole difference between spiritual and carnal, spiritual sins are more grievous than carnal sins, other things being equal. Three reasons may be assigned for this. The first is on the part of the subject: because spiritual sins belong to the spirit, to which it is proper to turn to God, and to turn away from Him; whereas carnal sins are consummated in the carnal pleasure of the appetite, to which it chiefly belongs to turn to goods of the body; so that carnal sin, as such, denotes more a “turning to” something, and for that reason, implies a closer cleaving; whereas spiritual sin denotes more a “turning from” something, whence the notion of guilt arises; and for this reason it involves greater guilt. A second reason may be taken on the part of the person against whom sin is committed: because carnal sin, as such, is against the sinner’s own body, which he ought to love less, in the order of charity, than God and his neighbor, against whom he commits spiritual sins, and consequently spiritual sins, as such, are of greater guilt. A third reason may be taken from the motive, since the stronger the impulse to sin, the less grievous the sin, as we shall state further on (Article 6). Now carnal sins have a stronger impulse, viz. our innate concupiscence of the flesh. Therefore spiritual sins, as such, are of greater guilt.
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Continued, from article 6 of the above:
On the contrary , If the cause be increased, the effect is increased. Therefore the greater the cause of sin, the more grievous the sin.

I answer that , In the genus of sin, as in every other genus, two causes may be observed. The first is the direct and proper cause of sin, and is the will to sin: for it is compared to the sinful act, as a tree to its fruit, as a gloss observes on Matthew 7:18, "A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit": and the greater this cause is, the more grievous will the sin be, since the greater the will to sin, the more grievously does man sin.
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The other causes of sin are extrinsic and remote, as it were, being those whereby the will is inclined to sin. Among these causes we must make a distinction; for some of them induce the will to sin in accord with the very nature of the will: such is the end, which is the proper object of the will; and by a such like cause sin is made more grievous, because a man sins more grievously if his will is induced to sin by the intention of a more evil end. Other causes incline the will to sin, against the nature and order of the will, whose natural inclination is to be moved freely of itself in accord with the judgment of reason. Wherefore those causes which weaken the judgment of reason (e.g. ignorance), or which weaken the free movement of the will, (e.g. weakness, violence, fear, or the like), diminish the gravity of sin, even as they diminish its voluntariness; and so much so, that if the act be altogether involuntary, it is no longer sinful.
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In short, sins of the flesh are not as severe in gravity as are sins of a spiritual nature. And sins caused by weakness are not as severe as sins of weakness. If one commits a sin out of malice, this is far worse than one committed out of weakness. If one masturbates out of weakness because he is hormonal and undisciplined, he incurs sin, for sure–but not as much as if he broke a beer bottle over someone’s head out of malice.

-Fr ACEGC
 
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I don’t disagree with you that it’s serious. It can be very serious if it rises to the level of an addiction. But it can also be a nervous habit for a teenager, an anxious release. This isn’t helped by making them more nervous. We have to keep it all in perspective so we don’t make it more than it is, but also don’t let it overtake us. The answer is in the middle. The answer is putting things in the proper perspective.

CS Lewis once said we commit two errors with regard to the devil. One is to give him too much credit. One is to fail to give him his due. The same is true, I think, of sexual sin.

-Fr ACEGC
 
I am not sure it is prudent to always lump pornography in with masturbation. Many people masturbate who never look at pornography. They are two very different things. One can certainly lead to the other (either one couldn be “first”).

Anyhow, just thought I would put that out there. I find it interesting.
 
Understood… As an agnostic, I don’t see a problem with masturbation. I do see a problem with pornography. I guess I am looking at it through that lense, and it allows me to see that they really are two different issues. Here, though, they get clumped together. I think when someone asks a question about masturbation, we need to be careful about assuming they use pornography, too.
 
To me, it is a problem because it uses people to their detriment. Not nice to use people, ever, but especially when it hurts them.
 
I think it’s a great shame that children can see this stuff easily online these days. I’m glad that I didn’t have that influence in my life when I was a youngster.
 
It is a serious/mortal offence against ‘purity’, it often becomes a habit, and is a ‘gateway’ activity that tends to become a ‘foot in the spiritual and moral door’, that lets in other kinds of seriously sinful habits and ‘perceptions/false justification’. Recommend you adopting a busier prayerful/spiritual life - use a Hail Mary, or perhaps a decade from the rosary when feeling tempted.
 
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