How can I convert if I'm secular?

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See, thats where part of me would put my foot down and just refuse to comply. I do what is in my best interest first and formost. No one else did and yeah, sorry to hear about your loss and wife leaving you and that is why I have no intentions of marrying until the laws are changed. Someone told me once that’s just a challenge to change my character and I reply with what about the losses I would suffer? I say meet me on equal/equitable footing or forget it. Things in the USA are incredibly unfair nowadays considering what the courts like to do to men so I washed my hands of that stuff long ago.
See, this is the kind of thinking that makes America such an unfair country. You’re only thinking about yourself. You wonder why no one else cares about you. You wonder, and at the same time everyone else is thinking in the exact same way as you are. How the hell is anyone going to think about anyone else, when they’re all too busy wondering why no one cares about them?

Don’t worry. 🙂 We’re all born into it. This is our culture. You can’t escape it. You can only see it for what it is, hate it, and get out of it into something that’s good.
You asked, so here are some issues I have. Birth control
Abortion.
I say lets do more for the poor and start voting for things like improved public education, better rehabilitation and most of all reform the family court system so kids aren’t caught in the crossfire when their parents decide to use them as pawns during their divorce.
Homosexuality, I have good friends who are gay and I will support them like the rest of the civilized world supports their own Homosexual/Lesbian population, end of story.
Before I go on, again I will repeat that accepting Church teaching and God’s teaching is a matter of the will as much as of the mind. Don’t be surprised if you have a hard time accepting Catholic teaching off-hand, because your mind is not currently in synch with God’s mind. That will make it harder.

That said, from what I read, you seem to accept that the Church has a reasonable POV on most issues, even if it’s not one you accept or believe yourself. The worst barrier to dialogue is to say your enemy is insane and to close all channels of dialogue from there. So thank you for giving us the benefit of the doubt.

There are tons of threads here about all the topics you mentioned (which I quoted). But if you don’t want to read them, I’ll be brief:
  • Contraception: Our arguments against this go to the root of the question of what human sexuality is, what the family is, and what man and woman are. This is a very deep question I cannot get into here. But there is tons of information you may find interesting. You may wish to check out St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body if you want to understand our position more, as well as Pope Paul VI’s “Humanae Vitae”.
  • Abortion: Have you ever seen an ultrasound? Do you know what the development process of a foetus is? Knowledge is power.
  • Social justice: Catholics are in complete accord with you on this. The poor can’t just be given handouts. They’re not animals; they’re people. And they need to be treated like people, made in God’s image. Have you ever read Quadregisimo Anno or Rerum Novarum? If social justice interests you, that’s our social policy.
*Kids caught in divorces: This is one excellent reason why the Church demands of her members extreme carefulness in deciding to marry, and why she absolutely forbids divorce. And there are many others related, again, in a much deeper way to the nature of marriage, love, the human person.
  • Homosexuals: Agreed. We don’t consider gays any less human than anyone else. But whereas the world has a concept of the human person as something malleable that can be changed on a whim to be whatever you so want, the Church has a much more rigid concept: that God made us to be a certain way, and to defy this way, to break from it, is to defy one’s very humanity - i.e, to sin. We will not encourage anyone to do that which would make them less human. But no matter how much of a sinner, how steeped in the devilish, they are still people, made in God’s image, loved by God, capable of being loved.
Too bad, that’s one of the things that made the USA different, the right to live the best way you know how, with God given rights that no king, religious leader or anyone else can take away.
Human-made rights are all an illusion, and can be taken away at any time by anyone with enough power.

We have no rights before anyone, not even God. Rather, everything we have is a gift from God. We are entitled to nothing, not even existence. That we do exist, never mind live in this prosperous if heathen country, is something for which we ought to be infinitely thankful and indebted to God for. It is a shame that so many Catholics, especially me, fail to appreciate how precious their life is, and how very much God does not need us, and how much God loves us, so that we do exist, even though we would otherwise be trivial.

I really recommend you check out The Imitation of Christ. Entitlement and rights are foolishness in the face of death, which cancels everything.
 
See, this is the kind of thinking that makes America such an unfair country. You’re only thinking about yourself. You wonder why no one else cares about you. You wonder, and at the same time everyone else is thinking in the exact same way as you are. How the hell is anyone going to think about anyone else, when they’re all too busy wondering why no one cares about them?

Don’t worry. 🙂 We’re all born into it. This is our culture. You can’t escape it. You can only see it for what it is, hate it, and get out of it into something that’s good.

Before I go on, again I will repeat that accepting Church teaching and God’s teaching is a matter of the will as much as of the mind. Don’t be surprised if you have a hard time accepting Catholic teaching off-hand, because your mind is not currently in synch with God’s mind. That will make it harder.

That said, from what I read, you seem to accept that the Church has a reasonable POV on most issues, even if it’s not one you accept or believe yourself. The worst barrier to dialogue is to say your enemy is insane and to close all channels of dialogue from there. So thank you for giving us the benefit of the doubt.

There are tons of threads here about all the topics you mentioned (which I quoted). But if you don’t want to read them, I’ll be brief:
  • Contraception: Our arguments against this go to the root of the question of what human sexuality is, what the family is, and what man and woman are. This is a very deep question I cannot get into here. But there is tons of information you may find interesting. You may wish to check out St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body if you want to understand our position more, as well as Pope Paul VI’s “Humanae Vitae”.
  • Abortion: Have you ever seen an ultrasound? Do you know what the development process of a foetus is? Knowledge is power.
  • Social justice: Catholics are in complete accord with you on this. The poor can’t just be given handouts. They’re not animals; they’re people. And they need to be treated like people, made in God’s image. Have you ever read Quadregisimo Anno or Rerum Novarum? If social justice interests you, that’s our social policy.
*Kids caught in divorces: This is one excellent reason why the Church demands of her members extreme carefulness in deciding to marry, and why she absolutely forbids divorce. And there are many others related, again, in a much deeper way to the nature of marriage, love, the human person.
  • Homosexuals: Agreed. We don’t consider gays any less human than anyone else. But whereas the world has a concept of the human person as something malleable that can be changed on a whim to be whatever you so want, the Church has a much more rigid concept: that God made us to be a certain way, and to defy this way, to break from it, is to defy one’s very humanity - i.e, to sin. We will not encourage anyone to do that which would make them less human. But no matter how much of a sinner, how steeped in the devilish, they are still people, made in God’s image, loved by God, capable of being loved.
Human-made rights are all an illusion, and can be taken away at any time by anyone with enough power.

We have no rights before anyone, not even God. Rather, everything we have is a gift from God. We are entitled to nothing, not even existence. That we do exist, never mind live in this prosperous if heathen country, is something for which we ought to be infinitely thankful and indebted to God for. It is a shame that so many Catholics, especially me, fail to appreciate how precious their life is, and how very much God does not need us, and how much God loves us, so that we do exist, even though we would otherwise be trivial.

I really recommend you check out The Imitation of Christ. Entitlement and rights are foolishness in the face of death, which cancels everything.
To be fair I had a horrible childhood and a lot of people stepped on me so yeah it’s a response to that. If life starts working out and I get a fair chance at things, sure I’ll change.
As it is now I think sooner or later we’re going to have a lot of civil unrest but hey, people brought this on themselves.

As far as birth control goes yeah thats one of those things that I don’t care, I come first. I don’t care for children, I don’t want them and my own interest are first. If someone else wants to preach life at me fine, they can pay for any kids that come out of any relationship. Till then I do things my way. It’s that simple, it’s mostly about the money.

As far as the homosexuality thing, not budging on that either. Have some really good gay friends, I’m all for their rights.

Depending on how things go if I still end up joining I would just keep my mouth shut on these things. I may opt out in the end. So far the members have been great and caring, something I have rarely seen from Americans.

Also, as far as rights go, sure the founding fathers would have something to say about that, as would the Welsh, Swiss, and others in the Nordic countries who were really the only relatively free people in Northern Europe during the middle ages. They were well armed and trained enough to resist being made total serfs, and in the case of the Welsh and later on the free English who immigrated to the USA led to the idea of having a well armed populace and the creation of my favorite amendment, the 2nd.
 
Also, I glanced over snippets of Pope Paul VI’s “Humanae Vitae”, is it worth the read?
And I’ve seen ultrasounds before, meh.

That stuff just tends not to register with me mentally.

By the way, if it means anything the Church is starting to look like a much better alternative than the outpatient mental health center I go to. I thought about it one day, about half the people there are heroine addicts, the psychologists are insainly busy and underpaid, and all they want to do is drug you. The Priest is better educated, the nuns go waaaaay out of their way to help, and the congregation is not only genuinely nice, a lot of them are educated.
 
Hmmmm, guess I would be converting. Curious, what about the things the Catholic Church believes in? There are a few things I will absolutly not comply with.

Also, I guess the number one thing was well, me. I had a bad life, no one was there for me so I had to look out for myself, no one else would.
Either you believe that Jesus died for your sins on the cross and was resurrected or you don’t. If you did not, but now do, then you have converted to Christianity. Not sure where the confusion lies here. You could be asking, "how does one come to believe?’’ the answers to such personal and subjective questions can be found by way of testimony in all sorts of places. Converting means that you have changed your set of beliefs regarding the truthfulness of a certain Theology/Philosophy.

Similarily, there are others who have believed in Jesus as a savior, but then changes their beliefs on the topic. These people have converted to Atheism. Poor souls.

Read the Apostles Creed. That is what you need to believe to be a Catholic. But you can believe in Jesus as savior, and not the other parts of the creed and be a CHRISTIAN. But not a Catholic Christian. The ONE INDESPENSIBLE truth to be a Christian requires that Jesus died for your/our sins. All of the other bells and whistles, while important, are nothing compared to the central aforementioned truth.
 
Also, I glanced over snippets of Pope Paul VI’s “Humanae Vitae”, is it worth the read?
And I’ve seen ultrasounds before, meh.

That stuff just tends not to register with me mentally.
Humanae Vitae is good, but it’s a little technical. I can see why it wouldn’t register with you.

If you want an easy read to help you understand the Church’s perspective better, I think this book would be good for you:

amazon.com/Something-Other-Than-God-Passionately/dp/1586178822

It’s a conversion story, but it’s by a woman with a similar background as you (secular) who slowly found herself attracted to Catholicism. She was also like you in that she strongly disagreed with the Church on the issues you mentioned here (contraception, abortion etc…)

I don’t know, you might find some of her insights helpful to you. Maybe not. But I think it would be a good place to start at least, rather than jumping right into Humanae Vitae and Theology of the Body.

It’s also just a good, engrossing story. I couldn’t put it down. Hopefully you can check it out. 🙂
By the way, if it means anything the Church is starting to look like a much better alternative than the outpatient mental health center I go to. I thought about it one day, about half the people there are heroine addicts, the psychologists are insainly busy and underpaid, and all they want to do is drug you. The Priest is better educated, the nuns go waaaaay out of their way to help, and the congregation is not only genuinely nice, a lot of them are educated.
Glad to hear this! 👍
 
I started believing in God a few years ago, but my idea of God was some cold, distant being who doesn’t care that people just slaughter eachother and laughs at the misfortune of fools, and even then the belief was pretty weak.
I still don’t see how you can convert to something when your beliefs in something else were so scant.
You were alone and didn’t have friends and then, you met Jesus and He offered to be your friend. Now, you know Him and each day you learn more about Him as He reveals more about Himself to you; You start reading the Bible in the New Testament. You start going to mass and taking RCIA classes. Then, it all makes sense. He’s your best friend. I have this email sent to me and I can’t find a place to start a new thread. It may help you see God and His wisdom. I hope I still have it under paste.

God’s Accuracy – Beautiful !

When GOD solves our problems, we have faith in HIS abilities;

When GOD doesn’t solve our problems HE has faith in our abilities.

God’s accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs. . . . .
-those of the canary in 14 days;
-those of the barnyard hen in 21 days;
-eggs of ducks and geese in 28 days;
-those of the mallard in 35 days;
-the eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days.
(Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

God’s wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant.
The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction.
No other quadruped is so made.
God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs.
For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.
How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.
-Each orange has an even number of segments.
-Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.
-Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.
-Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and
each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number
and the next row an odd number. Amazing!

-The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.
-All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

The lives of each of us may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if we will only entrust Him with 0ur life. If we try to regulate our own life, it will only be a mess and a failure. Only God, who made our brain and heart, can successfully guide them to a profitable end.

I Pray God Bless You In Ways You Never Even Dreamed. I didn’t think twice about forwarding this one. When you carry “the Bible” Satan has a headache; when you open it, he collapses; when he sees you reading it, he loses his strength, and when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can’t hurt you! And did you also know… that when you are about to .payforward this email to others, the devil will probably try to discourage you, but do it anyway.
When you convert, you are part of the family of God.“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you.” In Christs Love. tweedlealice 🙂
 
To be fair I had a horrible childhood and a lot of people stepped on me so yeah it’s a response to that. If life starts working out and I get a fair chance at things, sure I’ll change.
As it is now I think sooner or later we’re going to have a lot of civil unrest but hey, people brought this on themselves.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is in accord with you on both points.
As far as birth control goes yeah thats one of those things that I don’t care, I come first. I don’t care for children, I don’t want them and my own interest are first. If someone else wants to preach life at me fine, they can pay for any kids that come out of any relationship. Till then I do things my way. It’s that simple, it’s mostly about the money.
We’d say the cheapest way is simply not to have sex. Because, simply, sex is for making babies. Why risk it if you don’t want them?
As far as the homosexuality thing, not budging on that either. Have some really good gay friends, I’m all for their rights.
A deep subject for another thread. But suffice to say we don’t want to deny them their human rights, either. We just don’t agree on what makes up a particular right.
Depending on how things go if I still end up joining I would just keep my mouth shut on these things. I may opt out in the end. So far the members have been great and caring, something I have rarely seen from Americans.
You wouldn’t be the first one. 🤷 Most of the time, it’s usually enough to focus on the major premise: Jesus died for me, because He loves me, and He wants me to love Him and others around me. Most of the time it’s fairly common sense care for others and self-detachment.

Most of the arguments people get into, frankly, are irrelevant their Christian lives. Most people are not homosexual. Most Christians already know abortion to be wrong. If they worked on living as Christians more than simply arguing… and I am convicting myself, too - maybe life would be better for all of us.
Also, as far as rights go, sure the founding fathers would have something to say about that, as would the Welsh, Swiss, and others in the Nordic countries who were really the only relatively free people in Northern Europe during the middle ages. They were well armed and trained enough to resist being made total serfs, and in the case of the Welsh and later on the free English who immigrated to the USA led to the idea of having a well armed populace and the creation of my favorite amendment, the 2nd.
I’m not a rifle toter, myself, but much as I appreciate my constitutional rights, they can cease to be at any time. History is the rise and fall of nations. Ours can and probably will fall someday. Just like every country, good and bad, has.

But the Church never falls.
 
I was told by one of the nuns that i’m converting. How is this possible when i’ve been secular? What is there to convert to? This makes no sense to me. If I worshiped a cherry pie then yeah I could say I’ve converted from pie worship to Christianity, but how do you convert when you worshiped nothing at all?
Modern Catholic Dictionary:

CONVERSION. Any turning or changing from a state of sin to repentance, from a lax to a fervent way of life, from unbelief to faith, and from a non-Christian religion to Christianity. Since the Second Vatican Council the term is not used to describe a non-Catholic Christian becoming a Catholic. The preferred term is “entering into full communion with the Church.” (Etym. Latin conversio, a turning, overturning, turning around; turning point; change.)
 
It doesn’t sound to me like you’re anywhere near conversion. The Church teaches what it does for a reason and you either accept it all or you don’t. It’s an all or nothing sort of deal. I’m afraid those using birth control and who practice homosexual lifestyles according to Catholic teaching and tradition will end up in hell if they don’t repent before death. Again, the Church has her teachings for a reason; Her only mission is to save souls which it could not do if it supported these and other modern day concerns so clearly against the Lord’s divine will. If I were you I wouldn’t want to be on the one way train to hell along with the rest of the “civilized world.”
 
It doesn’t sound to me like you’re anywhere near conversion. The Church teaches what it does for a reason and you either accept it all or you don’t. It’s an all or nothing sort of deal. I’m afraid those using birth control and who practice homosexual lifestyles according to Catholic teaching and tradition will end up in hell if they don’t repent before death. Again, the Church has her teachings for a reason; Her only mission is to save souls which it could not do if it supported these and other modern day concerns so clearly against the Lord’s divine will. If I were you I wouldn’t want to be on the one way train to hell along with the rest of the “civilized world.”
Whelp, thats your opinion and I’m doing as I see fit. Don’t like it? too bad. I say birth control is better than having the unwanted thing aborted or selling the kid on the black market for whatever I can get.
Meanwhile, atleast I’m making progress. So far i’ve held up my lent agreement so I’m proud of myself.
 
Whelp, thats your opinion and I’m doing as I see fit. Don’t like it? too bad. I say birth control is better than having the unwanted thing aborted or selling the kid on the black market for whatever I can get.
Meanwhile, atleast I’m making progress. So far i’ve held up my lent agreement so I’m proud of myself.
Sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin as is the use of birth control within a marriage. These are all hard truths and simply an echo of the perpetual teachings of the Church so I can not claim any of it as personal opinion. What you do as well as how you think and believe is in your hands due only to the the freewill God gave you. Nothing is “too bad” for me; on the contrary it’s “too bad” for your own soul. Keep on the right path as you seem to be on though and in time you’ll receive the graces to realize the Church is right on what She teaches. It’s your own will that has brought you this far… and you’ve done better than me this Lent. :o
 
Whelp, thats your opinion and I’m doing as I see fit. Don’t like it? too bad. I say birth control is better than having the unwanted thing aborted or selling the kid on the black market for whatever I can get.
Meanwhile, atleast I’m making progress. So far i’ve held up my lent agreement so I’m proud of myself.
Welcome, to both the forum (I must have missed your first few posts upon joining) and to learning more about the Catholic Church. I’m so glad you are asking questions, to help discern where you are on your path to the Faith, and your journey with God.

What ServusH was saying wasn’t his/her opinion, but the opinions of the Catholic Church. If you were to say all these things, just as you’ve said them to us, to your priest, I pray that he would be able to explain to you why the Catholic Church teaches what it does, and what it means as a Catholic to accept those things. Many of the things that you have issue with are part of the backbone of the Church;** why would you want to join a Church that was so far from your own beliefs?** Perhaps there can be things that you don’t understand, but I think we are to accept the Church.

It also seems that you have misconceptions/misunderstandings about the Catholic Church, and what Her people believe; that’s okay, because so do tens of thousands of Catholics!

Many birth control options actually cause an abortion to happen, which of course the Church and God consider murder of a human being. Now, as to not getting someone pregnant, abstinence (which is taught by the Church, from God) is fully effective. If someone is not married, sex is not allowed. You must be married to your partner of the opposite sex. And as God’s children, we are to be open to life. However, with good reason (I believe) there are natural methods to avoiding pregnancy.

I love everyone…no matter their choices, of lifestyle or anything else. Now, just because I love someone doesn’t mean I have to accept their actions as ‘good’. (We are all sinners.) We believe in one man, one woman for good reason: that is how God made us. Some people may not be called to marriage, but to a life of chastity. Each person’s cross can be different. I have many friends who have different lifestyles than I approve of; do I dislike them or look down on them? No, absolutely the opposite. I’m going to keep on loving them and praying for them, as I do for others. Again, not one of us is sinless.

I’m sorry that you had a rough or horrible childhood and youth; how old are you now? I ask because people of different ages have different life experiences; sometimes it’s easier to explain when someone knows where you’re coming from. 🙂 While it can look like other people have had perfect lives, I can assure you that everyone has experienced tragedy, and that there is almost always someone who had it worse than you, that has made a happy life, and even been in the Catholic Church. And it’s sometimes funny, when people hear certain stories about my life, they might think “what a tragedy”, in reality, I don’t consider it such; it’s just life. It isn’t always fair. Yes, the tragedies are real, but with God’s Grace, we can survive and become stronger through Him. Amen!!

I pray that you are having a blessed Lent, and that whatever your sacrifice/addition is, that it continues to bring you closer to the Lord.

And lastly, while in this 21st century world we live in, which implores us to think only of ourselves, I ask you to think of others instead; and if not of others, of only ONE: Jesus. Meditate on the sacrifices He made, for people who didn’t even exist in this world yet; for people who would spit on Him, and hate Him; He loved YOU, and me, and all of us, and was willing to suffer, sacrifice and DIE for us. And here I am, contemplating both large and small sins, like another lash on His Back, just so I can be a little selfish. Will I sin? Of course; we all do. Will I ask and beg of His Forgiveness? Absolutely. And then I’ll pray to do better from this moment forward. And I have moved forward…at the same time, moving backwards some. Rome wasn’t built…or destroyed…in a day.

God bless you, my friend.
 
I’m starting to think more and more that this isn’t the best idea. I grew up secular and in a horrible enviroment, and even if I joined I would end up doing like many do and just doing what I can agree with and just keeping my mouth shut about other things.
The people are great and the priests and nuns are awesome, i’ve never seen such caring from any american religious person in my life. Still, my point stands, I will not bend for anyone on some things and if its those things vs. the demands of someone else I’ll walk out the door.
You made a good point, why join an organization who’s beliefs are totally different and now I can see that they are. I’ve seen ultra sounds before and the lives of the unborn mean nothing to me, my main concern is my survival and success, nothing else really matters.

I’m 33, had a pretty bad life and have posted about some of the things i’ve been through.
Yes, life is horribly unfair but i’m of the mindset that if you want something you fight tooth and nail to get it or die trying, that’s all that matters. I was treated like an exploitable resource by many and while I have an education and a clean record (something many in the USA don’t have nowadays) I still struggle as I have no real stable family to act as a support base. Yep, plenty out there who’ve had bad lives but hey, like you said thats life. A few people mentioned that their wives left them, who in the right mind would marry nowadays in a place that has such horrible divorce laws? No way would I ever trust someone in wedlock with my financial well being. We get the gov’t out of the institution of marraige and make it a more profitable institution (again) people like me may be interested.
To be fair it’s not so much my values, but lack of. My values are few, my survival, my success and entertainment, that’s about it.
I’ve had nothing but a long, miserable struggle and very few people there to help and even then the few who did care did little, it was all me and at my age I tend to care little for those outside my sphere of influence. I think I’m justified in this too when I see how people treat the poor and disadvantaged. Those with poor support networks and little to no financial worth are quite often exploited to no end. You only have to see how the laboring class is exploited to see this. Now, I know it’s foolish to say I and everyone else should be treated fairly, after all you said it best, life isn’t fair. Sooooo, I say do whatever is necessary to succeed. Till the USA has leveled the playing field law wise like Canada, Western Europe and the rest of the civilized world has I see no good reason to play by rules that end with me being the looser just like I was growing up.
Sorry if this was long, but you did ask for info on my background and this is all I feel like sharing for now.
 
Hello flufflepuff! Thanks for your response. Don’t worry about the length! I do want to know!

I do think you are being led to God through the Catholic Church. You just have what LOOKS like a difficult road to get there. It can be as difficult as you want it to be (on your own to get to God), or it can be difficult but God can lead you through it. In the future (10, 20, 50 years from now), you might look back at the path you get to choose right now, if it’s away from God and the Church, and if you choose the ‘easier’ path, you might look back and see how not only was it the wrong way, it ended up being much more difficult, making your life even more difficult down the road. It’s like me needing to lose weight; I have kept putting it off, which is easier than doing it, but as the future ends up being the ‘now’, it gets harder, and I can see how I was wrong about waiting, and how it’s made it even harder for me now.

Thanks for answering the personal questions I had; I just wanted to know where you were at; it’s different at 15 (we have those here, too) than at 30, 50, 80. I am so very sorry for your difficult life, and I will say special prayers just for you, that you might know even a moment of peace in God’s Love for you.

I think that in many ways, you are not where you want to be. Your comments about America lead me to believe you are in the US, but not from here, or that you are American but despise what you believe she stands for and does. Don’t judge based on what you see on the news, or what the government does. Look at those around you, even those nuns, sisters and priests. Are they not part of the US as well?
It truly can be easier if we are in a place physically that we are comfortable. Wherever you are, find that place of peace, where there is only you and God, you and nature perhaps. Maybe it’s the back pew alone at the church, or under a tree, or even in your car listening to soothing peaceful music, like classical, or slow guitar solos, where you can let your mind and soul be completely free of the weights of the world. Even a cemetery can be peaceful for this! 🙂 Close (cover?) your eyes, recline your seat and turn up your music (if there is no service nearby).This world will never be fair; what looks great in another country or even household, has different burdens and unfairness that we would find untenable. Sometimes, we have to accept what is going on right now, unless we can change it immediately. Don’t let ourselves be frustrated completely by the world; accept what is, and work on yourself, so that perhaps someday, you can be someone else’s change. 🙂

There is a lot of negativity in the world, injustice, inhumanity. But what about the good? What about the good that goes unreported? News and government aren’t built on satisfied customers; they sell fear, for one. A fearful sycophant is easier to exploit and control than a happy content person. Turn off the news, online and on the TV for awhile. When you say you feel justified in looking out for only yourself because of how others treat people…maybe you are meant to be that nice person who gives them the dollar, or even a shoulder to lean on. Doing nothing isn’t the opposite of doing bad things; it’s the same. Doing something good is the opposite of doing bad/doing nothing in these cases.

You aren’t a loser. I think you are very smart, very articulate, and very frustrated. Now, all your problems aren’t going to go away just because you know God and have accepted Him into your heart. Oh, that they did! But God CAN do anything; perhaps your struggle will be left to you anyway, which might inspire others not to give up; with God, that struggle will become meaningful. Perhaps that struggle will become less important when the meaning of your life changes from ‘self’ to ‘God’. He does amazing things, and often not when you want it, but when you least expect it. For me, one way I know that I am moving forward in God’s love is in the way I view things and the way I react to things. I use to see winter trees, without leaves, and think how barren and ugly. God has since blessed me with a view that shows me the beauty of even the barren trees, that is so beautiful, I almost am not looking forward to the leaves changing it…but that will be beautiful too. Just a small simple way God has changed my heart and my thinking; and it’s not just trees, but people, that I see like that now, too.

I’ve had some horrible years in my life, made so by my own decisions. I can’t go back and change any of them. All I can do is live today in His Love. All those distant years I parted myself from God, by my choices, would have been better had I lived in His Love, but I cannot go back; I can only go forward.
(continued in next post…I’m long winded too!)
 
(continued)

I really have enjoyed this thread with your posts, my friend. Honestly. You’ve helped me examine my life, and have helped me grow, honestly. That’s a gift not many can give; just imagine if you could feel God’s Love, and be in His Light, the good you can do. You will. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next year, but I believe in you, because I believe in God, and I know He’s just waiting for you. He’s there, and He’s in your heart and soul, whether you’ve ‘unlocked’ those places to your own knowing or not.

Here’s what: when I come back later, and read what I’ve written above, I’ll think WOW, who wrote that? Because it won’t sound like something I’d be able to write. Then I realize…I wrote it. But I didn’t. It’s not inspired word like the Bible or anything, but it’s because when I let the Holy Spirit lead the way, it sounds a lot better. Now, there might be parts that aren’t led by the Holy Spirit, and I apologize for that; that’s my own human ego getting in the way. I just pray to be led by God when responding, and to get myself out of the way. So, anyway, I apologize for the things that sound or seem wrong; that’s all me. But everything Good, everything that makes Sense, that’s 100% our Lord and Savior. Amen, amen, amen.

Talk to God, either through your wonderful writings, or through an actual conversation with words; let me assure you though, to be open to Him, that He won’t interrupt you. Those negative thoughts are what interrupts, and those are not from God. Don’t be frustrated if you don’t hear Him, or get an answer. That answer might come in another way; such as kids selling lemonade on the street corner, or a song you hear on the radio that touches you and speaks to something you spoke with God about, or even a cloud that might make you smile. It might be today, days or weeks later. And then you’ll recall the things you prayed about (that’s what praying is…don’t be intimidated…it’s talking to God) and realize you have an answer. Feel free to yell, scream and cry in your conversation. Let it all out. Pour it all out to Him, as He poured all His Blood out for us. Let His Blood wash away your tears and your pain.

God bless you, my friend.
 
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