I want to understand the mind of your boyfriend. I guess I will just type out my thoughts.
I suppose looking upon nakedness could be okay as long as it is not for the purpose of seeking only a fleshy union. (adultery of the heart) In this case, pornography (if just nakedness) may be just art. But, if it is the pornography of two becoming one flesh being just fine (which I suppose this is the case because he believes that pre-marital sex is okay), then that is not good. (most all porn is not of commited persons… not to say that is okay watch either)
Did your bf once in his lifetime go to mass regularly? When I first converted, I pushed myself to goto mass even when I felt like I didn’t want to go. That was 2-3 years ago. After much time passed, eventually I once thought too, I want to want to go to mass because I didn’t see that I really would get anything out of it anyway. Only until recently did I get to understand that closeness to God is in staying away from grievously offending God. This is apparent when three conditions are met (1) a grave matter (2) committed with full knowledge (3) committed with deliberate and complete consent.
Now, knowing that he was raised ‘catholic’, he should know the things that offend God, but could it be possible that he just doesn’t know (although the conscious is in every heart, unless he has hardened his heart to keep his position)? Grave matters are the ten commandments. adultery, murder are some examples which he may somehow not consider grave (again, not a full knowledge?). For murder, maybe he doesn’t see a fetus in the womb as a person, for whatever ‘reasons’, so he may not see it as murder (if he still considered murder wrong). Maybe he is being pressured by someone to keep his positions and thus is not deliberately doing any of those things, which i doubt cause he is a grown person. My point is, that he could still be ‘walking’ with God even though he may not show a very close walk with God.
In the following, I am pondering why he will not have a peaceable conversion with you concerning the things of the faith:
Maybe he thinks he is close enough to God? Is life on earth the only life that he sees? Maybe he considers that all that he understands up to this point in terms of ‘living well’ is enough for this life? If he considered eternal life, then does he show any sign of faith in the daily doings of life? What does he want from God? Because more than anything else Jesus came to give us eternal life. Anything in this life is temporary.
I had a friend that had a boyfriend. This was her first boyfriend. I asked her if she was going to marry him, and she said probably not. (maybe this is a similar situation) At one point, I was chatting with her online and she brought up the fact that she might break up with him. I asked her if she loved him and I don’t know if I pushed her to keep the relationship, but she ended up staying with him. I am not certain, but she was catholic at the time and I assumed she believed that pre-marital sex was wrong and they never did anything. Eventually, in the end, she did break up with her boyfriend on the grounds that he spent the night at another girls house. Again, I never asked if she and her boyfriend had been ‘physical’, but she considered this ‘spending the night’ too far because who knows what he was doing over there. But, she gleefully stated that I am young I have time to find someone. I suppose this relationship was just a memory good and bad but one to keep regardless.
This is a very different situation, but if you two are not considering a life long commitment, what is the relationship? Not to seem harsh, but in the end, what kind of commitment was it? (that is if you break up)
Anyway, you came here for the specific purpose of getting advice on how you can help your boyfriend see your views. And these views are important because they pertain to life and even eternal life. The thing is, there is nothing anyone can do even to help another ‘see’ one’s views. I have a family of non-believers, and strayed away catholics, and I love them all but there is nothing I can say that will ‘help’ them see what I see. They have to be interested. I suppose if you did ‘break up’ with your boyfriend simply on the grounds that he will not agree with you on faith and morals than you love only God. But there is a verse: If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not? (1 John 4:20). I don’t want to say you should remain or leave because you will decide when either is appropriate. But, keep in mind that there is only so much we can do for anyone; just be prepared to share your positions with meekness whenever he may have an open heart; also pray for the conversion of souls. And even so it is written, And I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and will give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:24) And God, Who will have all men to be saved, and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:4)
Everything will work out if you are able to keep from committing a mortal sin. Otherwise, you will end up serving that sin and no longer God. Scheduled mass attendance could be replaced by the periodic sin(s) according to the desires of the flesh.
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