How can my boyfriend and I control ourselves from sexual impurities?

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My boyfriend does have a job and I do not. I tried working 2 semesters ago and I couldn’t handle it so this year I’m taking a lot more classes so I just assumed I really could not. Maybe a part time job working 1-2 days per week but I have not looked into that yet
 
Something you should think about with sexuality and your boyfriend is that when you are intimate you are saying yes to the creation of life and a family. Even if you use birth control or sinful acts to try to not concieve, you are risking children. And your heart mind and libido are geared to create children with that person. That is what sex is. Especially emotionally. If you are citing finances you really should think about that. No one but you two should really know if at 19 you should get married. Perhaps not. But I can tell you a couple of things. 1. It is better to be married than to put your soul and your partners soul in jeopardy. Of course it would be easier if you could just not sin and help each other be chaste. 2. The Job of a spouse is to help the other achieve heaven. Is he doing that with you? Are you with him? The answer is no if you are unchaste with each other. So remember that. When it is hard to be chaste and in the moment you feel so loved and right, you are really saying “I dont care about the other person’s soul”
 
thanks

i will try that. Knowing me, I will get lost and not be able to figure it out… 🙂
 
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Sure enough, I tried doing what Anonuserher said and got nowhere. I clicked on the CA logo and didn’t find anything to the right—re posting new topics
 
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You’re right. Thank you for reminding me about that. We both are doing each other wrong and if we love each other it shouldn’t be like that. Thank you for the advice
 
Pray the rosary together and go to adoration together. Keep God the center of both of your lives.
 
Whats going to change? If you can survive financially unmarried then you can do the same married. Delaying child-bearing will be the biggest hurdle.
 
I personally don’t think going married while still being in college is always the best thing to do, and certainely not if any debt is involved. Personally I would never do it.

When you got married, you should be ready to bear the consequences of a possible pregnancy, (unless you contracept, and even with it it may happened). It that something that is manageable or at least one of the two should stop studies in order to support the family? If it is the only solution, it is a great risk for someone’s carrer, mostly for the breadwinner.

A solution for the OP would be to moove one to one of their parents’s house, as she mentionned they both lived to their parents’s place, in order to avoid extra cost. But again, this choice cannot be made without all the parts involved agreed, including the parents, and they should have in mind that they might end with raising a child in his grandparents home. Not the ideal solution, but some couples end up with no choice than this solution.

At the end, it is to the OP and her fiancé to determined their capacity to work and study at the same time, to be able to handle adversity and change of plans and much more.
 
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I’m glad you told your opinion because it’s been different from others. Marrying is a huge commitment and it shouldn’t be the answer to eliminate sexual impurity how others opinionated, Like I mentioned we would love to get married now but financially it just isn’t that easy. Especially with us going to school. There’s costs of rent, food, gas, car payment, phone, tuition if our parents decide to leave it to us, and occasional date nights. With him just working and not even full time it’s not that easy. With the degree I’m going for working while studying isn’t recommended.
I’m glad you brought up having children while in college because that didn’t come to mind. If having a child at that time is in Gods plan then we will take charge but we would obviously try to avoid that for the reason that it would completely delay our time frame.
 
Thank you for the reply. I don’t think marrying should just be the solution to our problem. And it certainly shouldn’t be the answer just to keep us from being impure. It’s a lot harder than that. We both don’t have bad intentions with marrying just to have sex and have it be okay. But some people will go that far just to have it be okay for their own selfish reasons. We would love to get married now but with his and my degree we don’t have the ability to work full time so I’m not sure how part time would really be able to sustain us without the help of others which some people might be nice enough to help us but we can’t rely on others.
 
Since you messed up a few days ago have you discussed what your plan is if you are pregnant?
 
Anonuserhere said:
I don’t think marrying should just be the solution to our problem. And it certainly shouldn’t be the answer just to keep us from being impure.
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St Paul states otherwise in 1 Corinthians chapter 7:

Now to the unmarried and to widows, I say: it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.
 
I would advise to wait to get married, and maybe put your relationship on hiatus.

Sexual activity clouds your judgment. You become bonded before logically discerning if this is the person for you.

Don’t rush into a marriage. Marriage is forever. Sexual attraction fluctuates in married couples. It’s important, but shouldn’t be the base of a relationship.

I thought I loved my college boyfriend. I’m grateful that I didn’t marry him.

You can be chaste. Being chaste will give you better clarity to discern if you do want to marry.
 
The situation is complicated. We’re not 100% sure we actually went wrong but I confessed like we did just to be safe and I even said that I was not 100% sure and he wasn’t either. If we were pregnant that would be discussed if I’m very late with my period. I wasn’t fertile at all around the day we messed up.
 
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Ok. For the sake of users here, let’s get back on topic.
 
TheLittleLady said:
used to
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That is how the phrase, “OK Boomer” came about. You lived in a time of economic prosperity and growth, where people in retail could afford houses. To this day you hold the same antiquated convictions of affordability.
Reading the following, https://markmanson.net/american-dream
“By almost every major statistical measurement, the average American is worse off than they were a generation ago. Some pundits have taken to blaming the younger generations, saying that they’re entitled, self-centered, too absorbed in their smartphones to work,8 … Americans today … are the most educated and productive generation in US history:”
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" No More Land. … No More Cheap Labor. … Yeah, that all got outsourced. … RIP, Detroit."
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“Not only is this not the American Dream, it’s the antithesis of the American Dream. It’s the old feudal order where you’re born into your privilege (or lack thereof) and forced to just hope things don’t get any worse.”
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HumbleIOughtToBe said:
That is how the phrase, “OK Boomer” came about. You lived in a time of economic prosperity and growth, where people in retail could afford houses.
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In all of my life I have never been able to afford a house. I have never owned a new car, or even a good late model used car. We have lived in really crummy roach infested apartments, I now live in a rented house that is embarrassing for people to come visit, and could not afford it if my son were not my roommate. Don’t generalize things.
 
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