How Catholic teaching has ruined my dating life.

[Luvz2travel]

montanaman and kyrie,
Same problem here! Maybe we should start a support group…heh heh…
It is not easy to find a good woman (mate), and oddly enough, the older you get, the more likely it is that they have already been too “intimate” with someone…
At one point I would ask God all the time for a perfect woman but I have chilled out on that one after realizing that all that worrying is not going to make a wife fall out of the sky, and God will provide somehow. Besides, I think single life is a vocation too, even if you are not in religious life…you can still give yourself completely to Our Lord.
I was thinking it would be nice to write a letter to Jesus and our Blessed Mother on what you are trying to find in life, fears hopes…etc…for some reason it is nice to get things on paper and then you can get rid of the letter (burn it) and just know that it is all in Our Lords hands.

Yep welcome to my world…that’s why I pretty much gave up dating. Every man I ran into disappeared when they found out I meant what I said about having morals and trying to live a good life. Not that I’m crying mind you I’m better off without them. It is discouraging though to realize there are so few people who try to live a good life these days. I don’t require that someone have no past or be exclusively Catholic only that they be a Christian and respect my beliefs.

 

[Paddy1989]

Yep welcome to my world…that’s why I pretty much gave up dating. Every man I ran into disappeared when they found out I meant what I said about having morals and trying to live a good life. Not that I’m crying mind you I’m better off without them. It is discouraging though to realize there are so few people who try to live a good life these days. I don’t require that someone have no past or be exclusively Catholic only that they be a Christian and respect my beliefs.

After seeing several of your post’s basically explain the same problem to do with men not being Catholic and having Christian values can i just ask where are you meeting them. I mean how likely how is it you will find such a person in random places or pub’s, club’s etc. Do you not see any men at Church during mass, confession etc whom you will know is more likely to be your type and go for them. Also in the US you all have those Catholic single event’s everywhere so i thought it would have been easy. I don’t understand why you don’t do this

 

[Bataar]

After seeing several of your post’s basically explain the same problem to do with men not being Catholic and having Christian values can i just ask where are you meeting them. I mean how likely how is it you will find such a person in random places or pub’s, club’s etc. Do you not see any men at Church during mass, confession etc whom you will know is more likely to be your type and go for them. Also in the US you all have those Catholic single event’s everywhere so i thought it would have been easy. I don’t understand why you don’t do this

Meeting people at church can be very difficult. I don’t think it would be appropriate to go and introduce yourself and try to get to know the other person during Mass or while you’re standing in line for confession. Maybe your church is different, but at the various churches I’ve ben to, there’s just no way. As soon as the Mass ends and usually even before, people are bolting for their car. You’d have to run after them, yelling and somehow try to block them from opening their car door just to get a word in.

 

[Paddy1989]

Meeting people at church can be very difficult. I don’t think it would be appropriate to go and introduce yourself and try to get to know the other person during Mass or while you’re standing in line for confession. Maybe your church is different, but at the various churches I’ve ben to, there’s just no way. As soon as the Mass ends and usually even before, people are bolting for their car. You’d have to run after them, yelling and somehow try to block them from opening their car door just to get a word in.

I understand what your saying and it’s the exact same here, in like’s on confession for example where there isn’t many people there and you will know that any person there is likely to be a practicing Catholic and not a cafeteria one as you call them in the US then you could try and catch someone’s eye. The fact is that it take’s people a long time to find someone in the secular culture where there is place’s packed every-weekend such as pub’s, theme pub’s, club’s etc then how difficult is it gonna be for Catholic’s where there is no meeting place’s and the only time you will be likely to meet like-minded people such as yourself who hold the same value’s is at the like’s of mass and confession. Just simply knowing what you want and going for it with PATIENCE in area’s where you are most likely to find such a person is what people need to do. We are not going to find such a person in random place’s such as cafe, store, pub, club etc. In the meantime keep the Chin up and Trust God and just be happy with your life how it is

 

[charebear]

I found this all too familiar. only one thing… I am a girl. Yes. we girls go through the same thing. I have tried dating guys and have found that they all just want one thing. And even when i have come across a gentleman or two who dont, there are still problems. The biggest thing is if they are not catholic then I have found that alot of other issues do come up that are definite deal breakers. i go to a catholic church and it seams strange to me that even though i am around lots of young adults none of us bother to consider dating each other and I just don’t get it. – charebear

 

[montanaman]

It’s been awhile since I saw this thread. Wow.

I’m happy to report that Carholic teaching didn’t actually ruin my dating life. I’ve been married for almost six years. However, Catholic teaching is now putting a massive strain on my marriage. NFP is hell, my convert wife’s holier-than-thou attitude toward my less-than-zealous Catholic family destroyed my relationship with them, and in general, trying to hear a silent God while juggling 20 chainsaws per day is a recipe for madness.

I’d quit the faith, but it’s like democracy–it’s the worst religion there is. It just better than everything else.

 

[SeekNFind]

It’s been awhile since I saw this thread. Wow.

I’m happy to report that Carholic teaching didn’t actually ruin my dating life. I’ve been married for almost six years. However, Catholic teaching is now putting a massive strain on my marriage. NFP is hell, my convert wife’s holier-than-thou attitude toward my less-than-zealous Catholic family destroyed my relationship with them, and in general, trying to hear a silent God while juggling 20 chainsaws per day is a recipe for madness.

I’d quit the faith, but it’s like democracy–it’s the worst religion there is. It just better than everything else.

I didn’t read the whole thread but care to share how you ended up meeting your wife?

 

[montanaman]

I didn’t read the whole thread but care to share how you ended up meeting your wife?

Work.

 

[sw85]

Good Catholic men in this situation are lucky precisely because they’re outnumbered by good Catholic women looking for a good Catholic man.

I mourn bitterly for all those good, wonderful, decent Catholic women who may well never find husbands.

 

[hurting]

Hmm, you’re in DC, huh? Do I have the woman for you! (Not me, but I know a gal who has the same problem with finding men worthy of her and her Catholic beliefs.) If anything I’d try CatholicSingles.com. Thats where I met my boyfriend. We are both moderate Catholics and agree on all of our Catholic beliefs. It really weeds out the riff raff that is all too common in today’s world. I do feel your pain however. My boyfriend was shocked when I told him I was a virgin and was waiting for marriage. You cant find too many girls like me, and you cant find too many guys like my boyfriend who love a woman enough to wait until the wedding night. Good luck to ya!

What is a moderate Catholic, exactly?

 

[TrueLight]

It’s been awhile since I saw this thread. Wow.

I’m happy to report that Carholic teaching didn’t actually ruin my dating life. I’ve been married for almost six years. However, Catholic teaching is now putting a massive strain on my marriage. NFP is hell, my convert wife’s holier-than-thou attitude toward my less-than-zealous Catholic family destroyed my relationship with them, and in general, trying to hear a silent God while juggling 20 chainsaws per day is a recipe for madness.

I’d quit the faith, but it’s like democracy–it’s the worst religion there is. It just better than everything else.

What an update!