How did you cope with menopause?

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I just learned that I am in full blown menopause. I am young to be in menopause but it’s still considered normal for my age. (I’m a tad over 40). I am not having the normal menopausal symptoms most folks have. In retrospect, I think I was having them over the last year or so and didn’t realize what was going on. However, I saw my doctor last week and menopause was confirmed by a blood test so it’s true.

But here is my question. The thing that made me the most sad is that I can’t have kids anymore. My husband weren’t really planning on having anymore - especially since we are both in our 40s. But the fact that I don’t have the choice anymore is what is upsetting.

Are there any of you who went through menopause at a young age? May I ask how you felt about it and what you did to get past the fact that your baby days are over?
 
How did I cope with it? I moved to a different state than my mother lived in…

😉

Couldn’t resist.

Now I will bow out of this thread and let you ladies talk…
 
I’m a decade behind you and still pre-kids, so this might not be exactly the perspective you were looking for, but from this side of things I’d say:

a) Having kids past 40 is sort of a high-risk proposition to begin with (for both you and them)

b) As a child born to parents in their 40s, I can tell you that it sort of sucks being 30, just starting your own family, and already having to deal with the health problems of aging parents (in their 70s)

c) Menopause = all the sex you want without NFP! Yay!

Hopefully something in there makes you feel better about your “baby days” being over. 🙂
 
I’m 45 and getting there. So far not too bad.

Just moody at times, and tired and cranky. Hot flashes and night sweats haven’t been too frequent or severe.

I do feel melancholy at times about not being to have more children.

I just sort of feel old. I’m not old obviously, but I feel my past just went by so quickly. 15 years ago I was 30. In 15 more years I’ll be 60. 😦
 
I totally understand your discomfort regarding the option of childbearing now off the table. I still have a wistfulness about that and I am about 4 years into The Change. I used to long for that infant in my arms and am still not entirely over that.

There are so many physical changes for women at this time.

Commiserating… it can be pretty tough on the psyche and the ego.
 
QuasiCatholic said:
I’m a decade behind you and still pre-kids, so this might not be exactly the perspective you were looking for, but from this side of things I’d say:

a) Having kids past 40 is sort of a high-risk proposition to begin with (for both you and them)

b) As a child born to parents in their 40s, I can tell you that it sort of sucks being 30, just starting your own family, and already having to deal with the health problems of aging parents (in their 70s)

c) Menopause = all the sex you want without NFP! Yay!

Hopefully something in there makes you feel better about your “baby days” being over. 🙂
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Thanks for the comments but be careful. I married late and had my first (and only) child when I was 41 and I’m glad I have her. But husband and talked about our age and kids but again, I’m so glad I have her. I also have an eight year old that is my niece but I have full custody.
 
fencersmother said:
I totally understand your discomfort regarding the option of childbearing now off the table. I still have a wistfulness about that and I am about 4 years into The Change. I used to long for that infant in my arms and am still not entirely over that.

There are so many physical changes for women at this time.

Commiserating… it can be pretty tough on the psyche and the ego.
Click to expand...
Thanks. That’s what I needed. It’s exactly how I feel. I know everything will be OK but I feel like I have this big sign on my head that ways OLD LADY - YOU’RE AN OLD LADY!!!
 
And to Quasi, sex after menopause isn’t always just the barn-burner you might think is around the corner, despite not being “chained to NFP.” Vaginal dryness, loss of libido, lowered self-esteem, night sweats… loss of hair in certain areas… don’t always make for a great night of passion. AND, caring for teenagers and toddlers, and aging parents, while dealing with menopause, is no picnic.
 
noclevername said:
I just learned that I am in full blown menopause. I am young to be in menopause but it’s still considered normal for my age. (I’m a tad over 40). I am not having the normal menopausal symptoms most folks have. In retrospect, I think I was having them over the last year or so and didn’t realize what was going on. However, I saw my doctor last week and menopause was confirmed by a blood test so it’s true.

But here is my question. The thing that made me the most sad is that I can’t have kids anymore. My husband weren’t really planning on having anymore - especially since we are both in our 40s. But the fact that I don’t have the choice anymore is what is upsetting.

Are there any of you who went through menopause at a young age? May I ask how you felt about it and what you did to get past the fact that your baby days are over?
Click to expand...
I am so sad too, about not having any more children. It seems like I spent so many years thinking about getting married and having children, and now that part of my life is over. I was 27 before I married and 31 before I had my first baby, the 2nd came a year later and I haven’t been able to carry another one full term since. Now my nieces and nephews are having children of their own and it makes me feel so old!!
I’d always heard about the empty nest syndrome, I just never thought it would apply to me, and I didn’t think it started until the kids left home. Mine started by the time my kids hit 4 and five. Lol
 
I went through menopause the hard way. Hysterectomy in 2003 at the age of 40, almost 41. I had one kid, and that was enough for me. I didn’t have hot flashes, but did have the “mental/emotional” stuff. I had a few men running scared, afraid I might act out on what I was saying I ought to do. Or wanted to do, at least. Oh, a few men, who would really miss them?
 
I had many health issues during peri-menopause. I was anemic all the
time, I had hormonal migraines every month. I was miserable. The doctor gave me a shot with a larger than normal dosage of contraceptive to stop my periods - but that backfired and I ended up in the emergency room. I kept praying for menopause. It finally came at 55. I only had one son in my 20’s and a miscarriage a year after he was born so yes, I had some sadness. I definitely didn’t want children in my 50’s, but I wish I could have had more in my 30’s.
I became a grandma at 56 so at least that gave me something to nurture.

I have a friend whose husband was diagnosed with cancer and died and she told me it threw her into menopause. She was in her 40’s.

I thought once I was in menopause I would have so much energy since I wouldn’t be so anemic anymore. But I didn’t. I am 63 now.
You will adjust to menopause and approaching 50 will be your next hurdle and my 50’s flew by and then I was 60 and now I wonder how much time I have left on earth. I have a new grandchild and I would like to see both graduate from high school, but I don’t know what God’s plan is
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
How did I cope with it? I moved to a different state than my mother lived in…

😉

Couldn’t resist.

Now I will bow out of this thread and let you ladies talk…
Click to expand...
I hear ya! I survived by hanging out with my buddies at the airfield a lot 😛
 
I had a hysterectomy when I was very young, but the doctor did not remove my ovaries. Every month after that, I still knew when I was ovulating, so I still had to go through menopause. I believe that I had my menopause at about age 55.

I did have hot flashes for maybe ten years, but I don’t remember menopause being a big deal at all. It was nothing compared to those periods from hell that I suffered before my hysterectomy.

After having two kids, I found the idea of getting pregnant terrifying!
 
Hmm. I was very lucky. Never even knew I was going through menopause. Did freak out a bit when I missed my period for a while. 😃 And then, the lightbulb went off. Ohhh!!

It was a very freeing feeling for me. Not everyone has “symptoms” or has the negative things fencersmother mentioned.

Some of us are quite happy with our lives, “after.” 😉
 
noclevername said:
I just learned that I am in full blown menopause. I am young to be in menopause but it’s still considered normal for my age. (I’m a tad over 40). I am not having the normal menopausal symptoms most folks have. In retrospect, I think I was having them over the last year or so and didn’t realize what was going on. However, I saw my doctor last week and menopause was confirmed by a blood test so it’s true.

But here is my question. The thing that made me the most sad is that I can’t have kids anymore. My husband weren’t really planning on having anymore - especially since we are both in our 40s. But the fact that I don’t have the choice anymore is what is upsetting.

Are there any of you who went through menopause at a young age? May I ask how you felt about it and what you did to get past the fact that your baby days are over?
Click to expand...
Well I’m still not in menopause and I’m older than you. But it was still a hard adjustment going from the possibility of having more kids to realizing that even though it’s theoretically possible it really isn’t going to happen unless it’s a miracle. We had the complication of secondary infertility. So the previous posters comment of all the sex you want with no NFP didn’t apply. We never practiced NFP. Unless you count trying to get pregnant. All the time. And it not happening. It was hard to get off that merry go round mentally. To realize that I’ll never nurse again, I’ll never have another child. I started looking forward to grandkids but those aren’t anywhere near happening either. It took me a few years to totally let it go.

At this point, I wish I’d finally go through menopause because I get all the hassle and no possibility of more kids.
 
QuasiCatholic said:
I’m a decade behind you and still pre-kids, so this might not be exactly the perspective you were looking for, but from this side of things I’d say:

a) Having kids past 40 is sort of a high-risk proposition to begin with (for both you and them)

b) As a child born to parents in their 40s, I can tell you that it sort of sucks being 30, just starting your own family, and already having to deal with the health problems of aging parents (in their 70s)

c) Menopause = all the sex you want without NFP! Yay!

Hopefully something in there makes you feel better about your “baby days” being over. 🙂
Click to expand...
My husbands mother was 35 and his father was 50. He was just grateful they gave him a loving home. He’s adopted.
 
I’m going to be a loner on this but I’d be thankful it was all finally over! Infertile couples deal with menopause symptoms their whole reproductive lives! I like be kids and wanted a dozen. But the Lord had other plans and I’m just so ready to be done with all the useless female symptoms that have done absolutely nothing (save one single miraculous cycle) but cause me mental and physical anguish all my girlhood and now my adulthood. I will praise the Lord in heaven when I finally am spared of this excruciatingly painful cross of infertile fertility and painful endometriosis.

Most people are spared that grief during their years of reproduction, so they go through it later in life. I guess God makes us all go through it, just at different times of our lives.

That being said my mom was in her late fifties, so looks like I’m doomed for another couple of decades! 😦
 
Puberty and Menopause are hormonal holocausts for the human species! I didn’t have knowledge of puberty when it hit … But I have knowledge of menopause and it is the one thing that truely frightens me. Not that I cannot have children anymore, but the transformation I to what appears to be a male version of myself looks way to uncomfortable. Even scarier, imagine going through menopause with two girls going through puberty.:eek:

Here is a poem, it may spark something in you:
Imagine conceiving after menopause,
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Alexander K Opichok
Sep 29, 2014
REFLECTIONS ON JOHN THE BAPTIST
Correctly he is John the Baptizer,
His birth was delayed up to late,
Late post menopausal age of his mother,
Elisabeth the wife of Zachariah the priest,
At the temple of the Jews in Palestine
During the regal time of Rome
As a world empire and a role model of tyranny,
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Imagine conceiving after menopause,
During the nonagenarian ages
Of all the ages, in the nineties?
But she conceived John,
Was it true or mere sensationalism?
Or mere nerve chilling art style?
To hold the world audience a hostage?
I don’t know but John was born
After his mother’s menopause,
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He contrasts with Jesus
Born by a Virgin Mary,
Imagine a Jewish virgin
Without sexual intercourse
Became pregnant,
And gave birth to Jesus,
When Mary was pregnant
She socially visited Elisabeth
John’s fetus somersaulted,
Like a Chinese acrobat
Inside his mother’s tummy,
It was his baptism before birth,
But may be pregnancy of a virgin
Has more strength than pregnancy
Of a post menopause octogenarian,
Click to expand...
Hence the famous ode by Catholics;
In the name of Hail Mary
The mother of God
Most blessed above all women,
Click to expand...
These post menopause pregnance
And virgin‘s pregnancy without sex
Contrasts with Adam’s creation from clay
And Eve’s creation from Adam’s left rib,
Another super-sensational literature,
Or pataphorical art; Magical surrealism?
Click to expand...
Let me not go dumb or mute
Like Zachariah when he believed not,
But no, I already believed ergo, my vocality,
Click to expand...
 
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