How do catholic women or men justify their consciences with using contraception?

[KellyPalmer]

They justify it by a number of reasons but that’s because they usually lack proper catechesis. Just going by those I know personally – my mom got her tubs tied after her 5th because it wasn’t safe to continue having babies b/c of her c-section complications. My sister’s husband had a vasectomy. They aren’t even in a valid marriage, married outside the church and nobody told them it needed to be fixed when her husband went through RCIA and joined the church. She “can’t handle” another baby, has 3 already and doesn’t know what the church teaches despite being a cradle Catholic. My good friend is a lapsed Catholic who justifies birth control by saying God’s intentions have changed due to over-population.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

How do catholic women or men justify their consciences with using contraception?

The way all people justify their sins: it’s ok for me in my situation.

Or, “screw it! I’m gonna do what I wanna do no matter what.”

It’s pride. I know what’s best for me. Period.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

The Bucket:

We are excellent liars to ourselves.

Truth. I always tell my friends, “Never underestimate the power of self-deception.”

 

[shelby_sun]

OK this is being discussed on another thread, but will mention it here, NFP is a form of birth control no matter how you spin it! Medical birth control and NFP are trying to accomplish the very same thing, preventing pregnancy.

I also pointed out that I have 3 children, so I was fruitful and multiplied. We send our children to Catholic school, something bishops highly encourage Catholics to do to deepen their Catholic faith and education. When my three are in high school together, it will cost us $51,000 per year, PER YEAR. Now I don’t go around condemning those who do not send their children to Catholic school, even though as devout Catholic I am not sure why they wouldn’t. We give up vacations, eating, out, movies, birthday parties, and much more in order to pay for Catholic school and I would be homeless to pay for more children to go there.

Now seeing as NFP and medical birth control are trying to accomplish the same thing, to many it is the same things as using meditation or yoga to get rid of or stop a migraine coming on instead of simply taking medicine. They are both attempting to do the same thing, yet most people, even the ones against BC, pop that pill instead of taking the “purer” way.

I am not stupid, and I do know the reason for the teaching of the church, and yes for many of you I am selfish. I do not tell anyone they should use BC, ever. I also never plan on asking God for forgiveness since I thoroughly tought out my decision on the matter.

For those who lump those who use BC with those who are pro-choice, you are completely wrong and highly unfair to many, as I do not believe in abortion at all. For those who feel that no one should ever take BC, need to start researching how many children are born to drug addicts every year and then abused in ways you cannot even imagine. My husband works in the crime lab in a major US city. No child, NO child should ever have to face the life some of these children face. It is pure evil, again in ways you cannot or would not ever want to know, at not fault of their own. How many out their have adopted a child like that to save them from the hell they live in, I would bet not many? Only God knows, and can only believe that some of these children would have better off staying with God. The world is not as cut and dry has some would like to believe.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

So you say, you would rather say no to God, than risk a child who will grow up poor, or in difficult circumstances? You are ready to risk it all, eternity in heaven with God, rather than confess your sins and find another way to live without saying no to God?

:nope:

Your rationalization is showing.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

Shelby, do you hear that little whisper in the back of your mind telling you everything’s all right? That’s pride messing with you. In the immortal words of Marcellus Wallace…

 

[JackieMom]

To be fair to those who struggle with contraception vs. NFP - it took me a VERY long time and a ton of prayer to come to a place where I had peace with Church teaching about this. I simply could not understand why God would care if an otherwise loving, generous committed couple chose to delay or prevent pregnancies for objectively serious medical, psychological or financial reasons by using condoms. It is still something I struggle with occasionally (because I do have serious medical reasons to avoid and have miserable pregnancies) although I totally submit to The Church on this, and am obedient, despite the fact that I don’t like it.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

JackieMom, your lack of pride is admirable! Thank you for sharing.

 

[Suslar]

Dear Shelby,

My mom and dad sent 15 of us to Catholic schools K-12. He was a blue collar laborer and she a full-time momma. Yes, I “get it” that Catholic school can be expensive.

However, NFP and medical contraceptives are NOT the same thing. The Church does allow use of NFP – but only in serious situations. You said you are a devote Catholic so no doubt you have already heard this. But your comments sound like you may have a conscience trying to talk to you that you are suppressing (“I also never plan on asking God for forgiveness”)?? Of course, you know as Catholics, our personal decisions matter little until and unless our consciences are correctly morally formed.

Those who use chemical contraception are pro-choice. They are making a decision to choose against allowing their marital union to be open to procreation. It’s not unfair – it’s Truth. I’m sorry if that’s painful to hear.

While somewhat off topic, but since you asked, I will share that I’ve helped raise 6 foster children such as the ones your husband works with. Sure, it’s challenging, but their lives are valuable and worthwhile – even given horrible circumstances . . . and even if the life only lasts 1 minute. We believe that as Catholics. God has a plan for each human life. Each one is infinitely valuable.

 

[Suslar]

Great job JackieMom! Sounds like you’ve come to a great understanding about why condoms interfere with the marital embrace.

One thing I find hard to understand is why people who might not share the full teaching of the Faith find temporary, mutually agreed upon abstinence (for serious reasons) such a difficult thing. I mean, geesh! We’re not animals, people!! Now, I get to say that since I’ve been single and celibate (not by choice but by circumstance) for more than 9 years.

 

[Corki]

There have been many good reasons listed here. One that I would add is sex before marriage. Lots of Catholics have sex before marriage and use contraception. After they get married, they justify continuing (or returning to) contraception as a little thing compared to fornication. After all, they fixed the big sin, right? And it’s a very hard habit to break. Once you have “enjoyed” sex on demand without regard to “consequences”, it is easy to justify that as some kind of a right.

OK this is being discussed on another thread, but will mention it here, NFP is a form of birth control no matter how you spin it! Medical birth control and NFP are trying to accomplish the very same thing, preventing pregnancy.

Of course NFP is birth control. But this thread is about contraception. NFP is **not **contraception.

 

[JackieMom]

Great job JackieMom! Sounds like you’ve come to a great understanding about why condoms interfere with the marital embrace.

One thing I find hard to understand is why people who might not share the full teaching of the Faith find temporary, mutually agreed upon abstinence (for serious reasons) such a difficult thing. I mean, geesh! We’re not animals, people!! Now, I get to say that since I’ve been single and celibate (not by choice but by circumstance) for more than 9 years.

For some people, NFP is really conplex due to irregularity of cycles, breastfeeding or illness. For me, I’ve gotten pregnant while abstaining for 8 days prior to ovulation. In the future, I need to abstain for probably 10 days prior to ovulation and 3-4 days after confirmation of ovulation. Add that to the days I’m having a period, and the “safe” window is pretty small! I think for a lot of women too, there is a deep lack of trust in NFP that leads to a very stressful few days when they’re expecting their period. They simply do not want to stress and panic while they’re wondering “did it fail this time?” This is something I’ve had to work on - my latest “impossible” pregnancy does not lead to a lot of confidence, but we carey on out of obedience.

 

[Demetra2]

OK this is being discussed on another thread, but will mention it here, NFP is a form of birth control no matter how you spin it! Medical birth control and NFP are trying to accomplish the very same thing, preventing pregnancy.

I also pointed out that I have 3 children, so I was fruitful and multiplied. We send our children to Catholic school, something bishops highly encourage Catholics to do to deepen their Catholic faith and education. When my three are in high school together, it will cost us $51,000 per year, PER YEAR. Now I don’t go around condemning those who do not send their children to Catholic school, even though as devout Catholic I am not sure why they wouldn’t. We give up vacations, eating, out, movies, birthday parties, and much more in order to pay for Catholic school and I would be homeless to pay for more children to go there.

Now seeing as NFP and medical birth control are trying to accomplish the same thing, to many it is the same things as using meditation or yoga to get rid of or stop a migraine coming on instead of simply taking medicine. They are both attempting to do the same thing, yet most people, even the ones against BC, pop that pill instead of taking the “purer” way.

I am not stupid, and I do know the reason for the teaching of the church, and yes for many of you I am selfish. I do not tell anyone they should use BC, ever. I also never plan on asking God for forgiveness since I thoroughly tought out my decision on the matter.

For those who lump those who use BC with those who are pro-choice, you are completely wrong and highly unfair to many, as I do not believe in abortion at all. For those who feel that no one should ever take BC, need to start researching how many children are born to drug addicts every year and then abused in ways you cannot even imagine. My husband works in the crime lab in a major US city. No child, NO child should ever have to face the life some of these children face. It is pure evil, again in ways you cannot or would not ever want to know, at not fault of their own. How many out their have adopted a child like that to save them from the hell they live in, I would bet not many? Only God knows, and can only believe that some of these children would have better off staying with God. The world is not as cut and dry has some would like to believe.

Excuse me, but the birth control pill and NFP are NOT the same. The birth control pill is an abortifacient and also interrupts the life giving aspect of sex by artificially rendering you infertile throughout your cycle. NFP just makes use of your natural cycle and the naturally infertile time in a woman’s cycle. NFP is always open to the gift of life. The “Pill” is NOT. NFP requires you to have a working knowledge of your body and its hormonal cycles and this requires communication, cooperation and at times sacrifice between spouses. NFP is approved by the Vatican and the pill is NOT. The pill exposes your body to artificial hormones while NFP is completely healthy. The intent of the birth control pill is quite different than NFP. It is better to be honest with yourself if you choose to use the pill. The truth is the truth even if you choose to twist it to make yourself feel better.
I am sad that you never plan on asking for God’s forgiveness. God has given us the sacrament of confession for a good reason. He loves us and wants us to reach out to him.
All of your statements are distorted justifications of your version of what is correct. But there is only one truth.

 

[Frank_Drebin]

OK this is being discussed on another thread, but will mention it here, NFP is a form of birth control no matter how you spin it! Medical birth control and NFP are trying to accomplish the very same thing, preventing pregnancy.

I also pointed out that I have 3 children, so I was fruitful and multiplied. We send our children to Catholic school, something bishops highly encourage Catholics to do to deepen their Catholic faith and education. When my three are in high school together, it will cost us $51,000 per year, PER YEAR. Now I don’t go around condemning those who do not send their children to Catholic school, even though as devout Catholic I am not sure why they wouldn’t. We give up vacations, eating, out, movies, birthday parties, and much more in order to pay for Catholic school and I would be homeless to pay for more children to go there.

Now seeing as NFP and medical birth control are trying to accomplish the same thing, to many it is the same things as using meditation or yoga to get rid of or stop a migraine coming on instead of simply taking medicine. They are both attempting to do the same thing, yet most people, even the ones against BC, pop that pill instead of taking the “purer” way.

I am not stupid, and I do know the reason for the teaching of the church, and yes for many of you I am selfish. I do not tell anyone they should use BC, ever. I also never plan on asking God for forgiveness since I thoroughly tought out my decision on the matter.

For those who lump those who use BC with those who are pro-choice, you are completely wrong and highly unfair to many, as I do not believe in abortion at all. For those who feel that no one should ever take BC, need to start researching how many children are born to drug addicts every year and then abused in ways you cannot even imagine. My husband works in the crime lab in a major US city. No child, NO child should ever have to face the life some of these children face. It is pure evil, again in ways you cannot or would not ever want to know, at not fault of their own. How many out their have adopted a child like that to save them from the hell they live in, I would bet not many? Only God knows, and can only believe that some of these children would have better off staying with God. The world is not as cut and dry has some would like to believe.

Some know what the Church teaches and choose to simply disobey.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

How do catholic women or men justify their consciences with using contraception?

Most don’t justify it because there is no reason to.

Why?

Many Catholics simply do not understand the Church’s position on this; the are utterly ignorant on the issue. Even if they understand that the Church might be against it, often secondhand through the media, they don’t understand how serious the Church considers this matter to be.

I speak from firsthand experience. I was NEVER taught that this was sinful by the Church. It wasn’t even mentioned in marriage prep. If I was never taught this, how am I supposed to know the Church’s position on the matter?

 

[shelby_sun]

Some know what the Church teaches and choose to simply disobey.

You are right and I would fall into that category in this case. That is why will not ask forgiveness. However, there are those who will judge me even though God tells them not to, and still ask for His forgiveness. Is that better?

 

[shelby_sun]

Excuse me, but the birth control pill and NFP are NOT the same. The birth control pill is an abortifacient and also interrupts the life giving aspect of sex by artificially rendering you infertile throughout your cycle. NFP just makes use of your natural cycle and the naturally infertile time in a woman’s cycle. NFP is always open to the gift of life. The “Pill” is NOT. NFP requires you to have a working knowledge of your body and its hormonal cycles and this requires communication, cooperation and at times sacrifice between spouses. NFP is approved by the Vatican and the pill is NOT. The pill exposes your body to artificial hormones while NFP is completely healthy. The intent of the birth control pill is quite different than NFP. It is better to be honest with yourself if you choose to use the pill. The truth is the truth even if you choose to twist it to make yourself feel better.
I am sad that you never plan on asking for God’s forgiveness. God has given us the sacrament of confession for a good reason. He loves us and wants us to reach out to him.
All of your statements are distorted justifications of your version of what is correct. But there is only one truth.

No they are not the same, but they are trying to achieve the same things. I understand that the Vatican only approves of NFP to achieve he same thing. Funny thing is, my husband and I had to do NFP to try to have children and it only cause us great stress and resentment. No the intent of NFP is exactly the same as the pill, but yest he pill it is not natural, just like aspirin is not. That is the only argument you have. You can judge me all you want. I find it sad that you would find yourself worthy of God’s forgiveness for judging other, when He and He alone is our judge. The Bible was not written to give people like you the right to judge, so maybe you should start being honest with yourself also;

 

[JackieMom]

No they are not the same, but they are trying to achieve the same things. I understand that the Vatican only approves of NFP to achieve he same thing. Funny thing is, my husband and I had to do NFP to try to have children and it only cause us great stress and resentment. No the intent of NFP is exactly the same as the pill, but yest he pill it is not natural, just like aspirin is not. That is the only argument you have. You can judge me all you want. I find it sad that you would find yourself worthy of God’s forgiveness for judging other, when He and He alone is our judge. The Bible was not written to give people like you the right to judge, so maybe you should start being honest with yourself also;

Well, it’s really not the same thing because the pill says “have sex whenever you want and don’t get pregnant” and NFP asks couples to make the sacrifice of abstaining during fertile periods if they don’t wish to concieve. Basically, with each sexual act you either accept the whole gift of human sexuality (which includes fertility), or you accept none of it. There is nothing wrong with having sex when you happen not to be fertile, but there is something wrong with altering your fertility so that you may do as you wish and still avoid a pregnancy. Again, I also struggle with this teaching above all others - but the pill and NFP are not equivalent.

 

[Suslar]

You are right and I would fall into that category in this case. That is why will not ask forgiveness. However, there are those who will judge me even though God tells them not to, and still ask for His forgiveness. Is that better?

Dear Shelby,

I am not judging you. I would give others on this site the benefit of that doubt too. Most of us who have been on here awhile know 1) we are all sinners who have nothing to rely on but the mercy of God, and 2) intent, inflection and tone can be misread into written posts (meaning someone can take offense to something that was not intended).

I don’t doubt for a second that you are smart. But I also believe you are a kind and decent person. I wonder then, if you question the WHY behind the Church’s teaching more so than just choosing to be defiant?

Just curious, do you know much about Theology of the Body? (I sure didn’t - wasn’t talked about EVER in Church or Catholic schools)

I will add you to my prayer list tonight (and not in that smack you in the face, better-than-you kind of way, but genuinely). Eater blessings!

 

[Demetra2]

No they are not the same, but they are trying to achieve the same things. I understand that the Vatican only approves of NFP to achieve he same thing. Funny thing is, my husband and I had to do NFP to try to have children and it only cause us great stress and resentment. No the intent of NFP is exactly the same as the pill, but yest he pill it is not natural, just like aspirin is not. That is the only argument you have. You can judge me all you want. I find it sad that you would find yourself worthy of God’s forgiveness for judging other, when He and He alone is our judge. The Bible was not written to give people like you the right to judge, so maybe you should start being honest with yourself also;

Shelby,
I am sorry that you are so angry with me but I wanted to point out where your thinking was misguided not only for your sake but for the many people who will read your post and may be lead astray. That would not be good for you or for them. Jesus is your judge not me. Funny how people who know they are wrong always throw that at you in their defense. Jesus did ask us to go and sin no more. He expects us to help our brothers and sisters by pointing out where they are going wrong. It is called catechesis by the Catholic Church and it is to help you not hurt you. Your post was quite bold and needed correction. I am sorry if it offended you but you needed to hear it. That is not judgement, it is kindness. Trust in God. Faith comes before understanding.