how do i deal with gay cousin/his boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner?

[SuperLuigi]

I don’t think it needs to be as complicated as this thread is getting.

This falls under the usual genre of CAF questions that encompass “do I have an obligation to do positive duty XYZ” and the best advice I can give anyone on that is to discuss the matter with a **spiritual director, confessor or priest. **

For myself, I’ve been told that such obligation for this rarely is binding and it tends to be something extra a person can do to both live and witness the faith.

 

[BellsMom]

If I have discussed the relationship with my relative in the past and they don’t change–am I obligated, in your understanding, to either avoid my relative or bring up the relationship everytime I see them?

This is a question I’ve had for a long time. How many times is a catholic expected to “fraternally correct” a sinner?

I would imagine this cousin, being an ex-catholic, already knows that the majority of his family who follow the church consider his relationship sinful. Why continually tell someone something they already know? It seems to me that the teller is doing a little “flaunting” themselves.

 

[on_the_hill]

I don’t think it needs to be as complicated as this thread is getting.

This falls under the usual genre of CAF questions that encompass “do I have an obligation to do positive duty XYZ” and the best advice I can give anyone on that is to discuss the matter with a **spiritual director, confessor or priest. **

For myself, I’ve been told that such obligation for this rarely is binding and it tends to be something extra a person can do to both live and witness the faith.

Exactly. When my brother-in-law announced that my niece would be baptized in the Presbyterian church, I was upset and didn’t know if I (and my wife and children) should attend. I talked to our priest and he counseled me.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Exactly. When my brother-in-law announced that my niece would be baptized in the Presbyterian church, I was upset and didn’t know if I (and my wife and children) should attend. I talked to our priest and he counseled me.

Reminds me of a wedding of a formerly Catholic relative, presided over by some kind of presider of uncertain, but certainly not Catholic, religious affiliation. My sister felt she ought attend, but asked a priest about it. The priest told her that if she did not participate in any manner AND admonished the relative on that occasion and before the ceremony, of the wrongfulness of his action and her disapproval of it, it was okay for her to attend. She followed that instruction.

I did not go, and that was a morally valid choice for me.

Both she and I still treat the relative and his wife with kindness.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

“But I now write to you not to associate with anyone named a brother, if he is immoral, greedy, an idolator, a slanderer, a drunkard, or a robber, not even to eat with such a person. For why should I be judging outsiders? Is it not your business to judge those within? God will judge those outside.” The truth is many of our family members are outside. It is within the Church community where we cannot tolerate the immoral behavior and share the meal. That is where the scandal is given.

I think you made a great point, but the problem is how do we deal with these so-called ex-Catholics? The cousin in the OP’s case has stopped practicing his faith because he has chosen an immoral lifestyle. Fair enough, he is free to do that. But that does not make him an ex-Catholic as far as the church is concerned. I think that the above quote applies to non-Christians because they do have a different code they follow in life. But a fallen away Catholic (or any other Christian) perhaps does not fall into that category. Or do they?